Musing Atheist
by White Ink Penpal
Summary: A dead atheist finds herself thrown into a world of afterlife and gods of death and reincarnation. Laughable idea, yes, which is why assuming she is still alive she decides to win this game of determination. Soul Society never saw it coming. Includes OCs. Starts Canon, deviates into AU.
1. Mental Game

**Yes, this is my first fic in the Bleach fandom. My notes shall be posted in the bottom of the story. This story starts in a serious note, but it will have its humorous moments. For now, bear with it, please.**

**Disclaimer: When I go to Soul Society, I'll ask Tite Kubo to give it to me!**

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><p>"What is your greatest fear?"<p>

The question surprised the class room. They had never expected their teacher to be so bold in regards to the offending inquiry. I, however, anticipated it. How could I not? We had been in the morose topic of the Holocaust for quite a while. We had watched videos of survivors and their tales. Most of my classmates looked shocked or had been overcome with sudden pity and outrage, but I knew it was merely a front, and none of them felt the offense to humanity that had been done all those years ago. Alright, perhaps I am being somewhat cynical, but when one is around selfish teenagers that think they have better things to worry about, like relationships and rumors, you become like me.

Mr. Carlton surely expected an answer, as he went in order down the rows of students asking for their answers. Most of the people answered truthfully, with replies such as rejection, a wide variety of phobias, failure, humiliation, etc cetera. Some opted for more philosophical responses, such as uncertainty, the unknown, _not _knowing, and so on. Others, as there always will be, answered in lies or made in order to cover up their true fear. Our teacher did not call on them, knowing that they were the ones missing the purpose of the exercise, whatever purpose this was.

"Art?" the teacher voiced my name.

I felt my brow twitch with that nickname he had bestowed on me. No, my name is most certainly not _Art_. It is simply short of my middle name, Artemis. Mr. Carlton had actually robbed me of my much preferred nickname and soon everyone who knew me had followed suit. I sighed quietly; no matter how many times I tried to show my discomfort with the nickname, no one would ever notice my subtle signals. "Dying after my family," I supplied quietly but resolutely.

He seemed surprised; apparently he hadn't been expecting that answer from me. The whole class looked at me expectantly, as if I should explain myself. Unfortunately, the class had quite some time to spare, being one of the last ones to be called in and still not being even close to the ring of the bell. The two people behind me, Michael and Sam, did seem relieved of not having to answer their greatest weakness. I sighed once again; this period always seemed to draw that out from me.

"I want to die before anyone from my family does," I said in my soft voice.

Mr. Carlton raised a black eyebrow. "And what would make you want that?"

I struggled with my thoughts; how could I tell my classmates that I feared them dying because I knew that they would be lost forever? That there was no heaven or hell, no afterlife? How tell them that I had come to terms with my own death, but not with the deaths of my family members? My teacher took my silence as a refusal to answer, so he moved on to Michael.

The class was already used to my quietness. I think this was the time they had heard me speak the most, even if I uttered a grand total of two sentences. I went back into staring to space, barely listening to Mr. Carlton's explanation on why he asked our fears. I believe he said that he wanted us to imagine living our fears every single day for what seemed an endless amount of time, and the only apparent end was our death. Surely, this did not take into consideration my own fear, which was an eternal nightmare itself.

Everyone scurried out the door when the bell rang. I took my time in making sure my school bag was comfortable in my back before walking out the door and becoming one of those faceless people in the hallways. I was somewhat perturbed at my willingness to share my greatest weakness. I do not know what came over me; I could have lied easily, having the half-truth of death at the tip of my tongue. Maybe this was another thing to add to the list of things I considered myself weird for.

I frowned lightly as I noticed my little brother making a ruckus in the courtyard. That boy was my opposite in every sense of the letter. While I had managed to build a reputation that the da Costa were withdrawn people, Al had managed to destroy said reputation in the first week of school.

My steps were purposeful as I neared myself to the fighting boys. Apparently the coldness in my eyes seemed to be enough for _both _of them to stop. The other insolent boy left the scene, aware of my glare to his back. "Isa Alberto da Costa," I said in an inaudible voice that only he could hear, "what do _you _think you were doing?"

"B-Bea!" he yelped. "H-He was acting stupid after I beat his ass after a soccer match!" He seemed to notice that his explanations were not helping his cause as I felt my eyes get colder. "I only wanted to..."

The murmurs around us started, some disappointed that I had broken their little squabble meanwhile others in fear of what I was capable of. I turned around and narrowed my eyes at them, effectively making them disappear. I slapped the back of his head and muttered, "Idiot."

Al chuckled nervously, knowing that he had been saved from further embarrassment. I was quite annoyed, however, in still having to keep my brother from doing reckless things, even when we were both in high school. One would have thought he had finally matured, but no such luck. And it was up to me, his senior sister, to help him go through this mess that is called high school without much problems.

We walked together in silence, since our classrooms where in the same general direction. I noticed that Al was still somewhat stiff on his shoulders, obviously troubled by something. I nudged him in the ribs and said a little bit louder than usual, "What is it now?"

He muttered something incoherent, but I could make out of his sentence. "Called me Isa," I believe he said.

"Aah," I said in realization. "I apologize, I went a little bit too far."

He nodded, accepting my apology. He hated being called Isa, said he thought the name was too girly for his tastes and sounded like Isabelle. That is why he went by Al, and I felt obliged to call him like that. After all, he did not call me Art, and instead called me Bea, which came from my real first name, Beatrice. I must admit that having linguist parents did not help either of us. I was masterful in English, competent in Spanish, Italian, and Latin, and could hold my own in German and Japanese. Surely, I had an undesirable accent in the above languages, but it could not be helped. Al, on the other hand, knew only English, Spanish, and Italian, not bothering in studying more.

Al left my company as we reached his hallway. I went a little further down and went to my Calculus class, ready to stare into space in boredom. Oh arithmetic, the cause of my woe!

I was about to fall asleep to the drone of my teacher when a most infuriating sound disrupted the peace. Yet another fire drill this month. Couldn't the school already understand that if there was a real fire, _everyone would run?_ Who would actually leave school in an orderly fashion, straight lines included, if the school was burning and black smoke was invading? I know for sure I would push people around, not caring if their faces were slammed in the lockers. I tried not to scoff and instead followed my classmates in an orderly file, going out to the school's parking lot.

The weather got chillier and I huddled in my jacket. There was light chatter around the parking lot, used to these drills and instead just waiting until they were called back. It was around that time that there was a scream, followed by many others and panic broke in the parking lot.

Somehow I seemed to find the reason. The big black entity that was a meter tall was surely intimidating. It had a mask covering what would seem its face, and it had a long serpentine body. I must admit its spiky tail scared me out of my wits. I found myself surrounded by an arachnid-looking monster, a little bit smaller than the serpentine one, but still as intimidating. I confess that this was not the first time I had seen such creature. When I was twelve I saw one of those creatures that looked more like a large human merged with a monster gorge on a hazy-looking man. I had gasped and ran away as much as my legs could carry me. After the incident, I had thought it had been my imagination since it never happened again, even though I felt that abysmal aura that surrounded them every once in a while. Clearly I was wrong in doubting their existence.

However, those monsters were not the reason why everyone was distressed.

Gunshots invaded my hearing. It was around that time that I realized why the student body was screaming: I could see five teenagers carrying weapons, and I could already smell the blood in the air. Without needing to think twice I ran, not away, but to find Al.

The monsters followed me at high speed, but they were content in eating other students that were around. I tried not to dwell on the gruesome image and continued trying to find my brother. I was lucky as I found him hidden between some cars, crouched with his head in his knees and his hands covering his ears.

"Al!" I yelled, positive that this was the highest my voice had ever gotten. He heard me and raised his fear-filled olive green eyes to meet my own crazed ones. "What are you waiting for? Let's go!" He shakily stood up and I grabbed his hand, dragging him farther away from the nearing gunshots. There was also the matter of those eerie monsters and those confused students that had chains attached to their hearts, but I paid no mind to them: no one else noticed them and I needed to get Al to safety.

The school's exit never seemed so far away. Al naturally was faster than me, his body used to sprinting, meanwhile I was struggling in not falling to my demise.

"Bea! Hurry up!" he yelled hysterically, seeing me linger behind. He ran beside my crouching form and tried to encourage me into moving. I was about to tell him to go on without me when I saw two boys catch him and bring him to the floor.

"Al!" I screamed. He struggled underneath the two boys, but a punch in the stomach quickly calmed him down. "You bastards!" I howled at them. I was about to throw myself at them when a mocking tut froze me.

"Boys, come here," said a commanding voice. The idiotic teens moved towards the voice of their leader, meanwhile I rushed towards my brother's stirring form. I crouched beside him until he stirred and raised his head, immediately going into a coughing fit.

My eyes narrowed at the three boys. "What do you want?" I demanded them, my voice not too loud to show hysteria, but loud enough to not be expected from me.

"Art, your brother is the reason why my own brother is thinking about suicide," he said bitterly.

Al stood up and I soon followed. I positioned myself in front of him and glared at our attackers. "And attacking him will make it better? Killing innocents will make it better?"

The nameless boy laughed cruelly. "Now don't think that that sorry excuse of a brother is the reason this is going on, Art. No, I won't tell you what it is, you don't deserve it." He turned to his accomplices and motioned them to leave, as not the entire school had finished evacuating. "I _can_ tell you that killing him _will _make it better."

My blood ran cold, my cheeks drained of their color. I could only stare at him, dumbfounded, as if he had spoken in a language I did not know. "No," I whispered, fear laced in my voice. I felt Al shift behind me. "Please spare him."

He pointed his gun at me. "Move out of the way, Art. I want to kill your brother, not you."

I bowed my head, my long hair covering my face, making the action look like I was considering his offer. Instead I spoke rushed, hushed words that only my brother could hear, "Run as fast as you can, Isa Alberto da Costa. Run like in a soccer game and _don't look back_. Promise me this."

"No..." Al choked quietly. He laid his head against my back and I felt his body shake.

"_Promise_," I said forcefully.

Agonizing seconds ticked by, and I felt his nod and he moved away, although I could still hear his quiet sobs. I raised my head and met the eyes of my soon-to-be murderer. I would not let him make my greatest fear come true. Instead, I relished the fact that my wish had been granted without seeming suicidal. "Now!" I yelled, and I threw myself to our attacker. I made sure my struggle lasted, as I aimed for the attacker's gun, trying to buy Al as much time as I physically could.

However, the deafening roar of thunder shocked me more than what I expected. I was sent flying a couple of feet backwards, the hard concrete meeting my back and knocking the little air I had in me. I stared at him in shock as I felt an exploding pressure in my abdomen. I choked on my own blood, the coppery flavor leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

The frenzied boy towered over me, pointing his gun to my chest. My heart beat erratically and my body trembled in anticipation. The pressure in my abdomen was greater, and the pain left me lightheaded. "You're stupid," he informed me snidely. "I didn't want to kill you, but look at what you made me do. Did you seriously think that I wasn't gonna go for your brother? He can't leave this place alive, I'll make sure of that."

"You say... that my brother caused yours anguish... but by killing him you would only torture me more so... than this pain already does." I hated how weak and pitiful I must have probably looked uttering what seemed like my final words.

Realization dawned on his face. "You're so right, Art. Thanks for letting me kill you. That way, I'm positive that your brother will suffer."

A bullet was shot, the ear-splitting noise making me gasp more than the sharp pain in my chest. My breathing became harsh and blood trailed freely down my lips.

"But I'll make sure to find him too. Something tells me Al will be very upset if he finds out you died, Art. _Adiós_."

Darkness engulfed me. There was no pain, no sense, no thoughts... Nothing. It was death, blissful death, that I had wanted. Yet again I enjoyed the fact that I was right, that afterlife was a fairy-tale, and that God or any other being did not exist. This also made me feel better over my suicidal decision to save my brother. There was truly nothing, therefore it was better for him to continue living.

However, there was a disconcerting thought that was gnawing my mind, and I soon found out what it was.

I had a thought to begin with.

Does that mean that I am not dead? Could it possibly be that I am bedridden in a hospital and my family is eagerly awaiting my awakening? Without further ado, I tried opening my eyes, but it came out as a metaphorical term because I had no eyes to begin with.

I was alone with my thoughts.

An eternity or a second passed, I would never know. I felt a light envelop me. The experience is hard to describe, as it is quite impossible to _feel _light, but for now it must do. I felt warm, as if everything was making sense and I had figured something out, and again tried to open my eyes.

When I opened my eyes I was staring at myself in a pool of blood. Curiosity overtook me, and eventually I studied my limp body. My jacket had two reddened holes in them, one in the right part of my abdomen and the other one right on my left breast. My lifeless hazel eyes were greener than gold right now, which surprised me. The cadaver's long light golden brown hair was drenched in my blood. My mouth was somewhat open, with blood still dripping down my chin and into the ground. There was a peculiar chain situated in my chest that connected me to my corpse. Just as I was about to touch the chain, movement to my left caught my attention and I saw the retreating back of my attacker. Black rage filled me and before I could even move, one of the masked monsters I had seen attacked and devoured him.

I turned from the scene, disgusted. I was not as savage as to see the image of my murderer being eaten like a dog would gorge on a steak. I sighed and went to study the chain, feeling no danger from the monster now that I was _dead_. A small smile played on my lips; there was no way I was dead. This was all my imagination, of course, all of my memories from before my time of death replaying. Perhaps I was in a vegetative state, and once I woke up I would forget all of this.

I just needed to find a way to _wake up_.

The other monster sensed me. The arachnid beast neared me, growling slightly. I stood up and glared at the offending fiend, a frown on my lips. "So even in death must you continue to follow me," I told it quietly, even though I knew that it was no use. "You waste your breath, monster. You are just a figment of my imagination, and as soon as I try to control it, you will disappear."

"You shouldn't be talking to it," an unknown female voice chided me lightly. A short woman with the strangest black outfit appeared in front of me. She had short light brown hair and rectangular glasses. Unfortunately that is all I could see from my side vision, as she was standing in front of me. She was standing in front of me with a sword– no, a katana– and pointing it at the offending monster.

"What is _it _then?" I asked blithely. I was not going to grow nervous now. The woman looked skilled in how to handle her katana and had no intentions of harming me, therefore I could ask whatever I wished for.

"A Hollow," she answered as she perfected her stance. Before I could continue questioning her she launched herself at the _Hollow_, as she had called it.

The monster, however, decided to attack. It raised on of its eight legs and clashed with the katana. The woman jumped back and landed gracefully in the ground. She continued her assault, mainly consisting of downward slashes that would meet one of the Hollow's strong legs. However, the arachnid monster started growing tired. Soon, the woman slashed the Hollow's mask, the false face shattering into many pieces. The Hollow soon disappeared and in its wake was a boy around Al's age who looked abashed. I could see the woman give him an encouraging smile and tapped his forehead lightly with the back of the hilt. The boy glowed in a blue light for a second and soon disappeared.

I eyed the woman distrustfully. "Who are you?"

"Shirogane Mihane," she replied, turning around to face me. She looked a little offended, probably because I had demanded her name without introducing myself, but I disregarded it. This was _my _imagination. "You have quite a bit of reiryoku with you. What's your name?"

"Artemis da Costa," I answered curtly, not saying my first name. Her name sounded incredibly Japanese, and I soon remembered my manners in said language, even though we were speaking in English. "Shirogane-san," I murmured quietly as she approached me, sure that she was going to tap me in the forehead like she had done a while ago, "what are you?"

Mihane regarded me for a while, not speaking. It was around that time that she noticed the other Hollow. "I'll be back, Costa-san. Please wait here."

I watched as she quickly despatched of the snakelike Hollow with relative ease. Apparently the lack of limbs helped in the battle. She performed the ritual with the woman that appeared in the Hollow's stead and the woman disappeared.

The strange woman returned to me as she had promised. She had a relieved smile and her dark brown eyes were happy. "Now, Costa-san, to answer your question, I am a shinigami."

I mentally translated the term. "Shinigami?" I echoed. A death god. I started laughing. The mere thought of a s_hinigami_ sent my mind reeling, so I chortled. Out of all the things that I could have invented inside the confines of my mind, I had to live an experience with a type of _god_. Mihane eyed me warily and somewhat offended, and I tried calming myself. "I apologize, Shirogane-san, it was not my intention to laugh." I chuckled quietly, still amused. "However, this coma of mine is playing with me rather cruelly."

"Coma?" she repeated. "Costa-san, you're dead. You're in no coma."

I grew serious, but inwardly I was still laughing. "I would believe you, Shirogane-san, if I _didn't know _that all of this is preposterous. There is no way for death gods to exist; they defy logic. This must be an imaginative bout that I must be experiencing meanwhile I am confined in a hospital bed, either in coma or a vegetative state. As an atheist I do not believe in a god, therefore following that logic, I will not believe in a death god."

Mihane looked at me like if I had grown another head. "Costa-san? Ano... This is not your imagination."

I frowned at her and snapped quietly, "Of course you're going to tell me that. You must be some sort of guide in this _magical _adventure. I am sure that whoever has no consciousness for longs periods of time must imagine something, right? Fine, I shall play along, Shirogane-san, or Mind-san, in your game." The irony that my mind would start playing with death gods was not lost to me.

The s_hinigami_ got closer to me in hesitant steps. She was cautious of me, probably, as I just insulted her credibility. However, I wasn't going to act all prim and proper when this was some sort of adventure my pitiful mind had created to rid itself of boredom. "I have a request, Shirogane-san," I said quietly, remembering something.

"What is it?" she managed, although she looked annoyed at me.

"I have a brother. I am unsure if he is here in my mind or alive, so can I wake up for a small amount of time to see if he's alive?"

Maybe it was the tenderness in my voice or she was trying to mask her anger with a smile, but she looked at me sympathetically. "I feel a reiatsu similar to yours, probably your brother's. It is wavering, but he is fine."

I sighed in happiness. Even if this were my imagination, I wouldn't like to be in this false world if my brother was not alive, even if I was _dead_. "Thank you very much, Shirogane-san. I promise I'll behave in whatever adventure you have made up for me."

She chuckled and positioned the hilt of her katana close to my forehead. "Yes, when you graduate from the academy, seek me out, although you'll probably won't remember, so I'll look out for you. You're an interesting person, Costa-san. I hope we can meet again."

Before I could even ask what she meant, she tapped my forehead, and everything faded to black.

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><p><strong>I should be forbidden from using my computer's keyboard. I have two unfinished stories in this archive (that I unfortunately lost my muse for, at least for now) and making a new story with Bleach was too much. The only characteristic I can claim from Bea is that I am an atheist as well. And, I have to admit that if I were in her situation, at least now, I would think that I was still alive as well. <strong>

**This story will poke healthy fun at many things I've found peculiar in Bleach or anything concerning life, through Bea's perspective, of course. Not everything Bea says is something I personally feel and vice versa. If she gets annoying, please tell me, I'll leash her in.**

**I will also remind you that there'll be no real main character in this story, but if I had to guess who will make most appearances I would say Byakuya and Hitsugaya, hence the characters. These first chapters will be introductory with no major exposure to the shinigami. I'll move it along quickly to not bore you guys, but I _really _dislike Mary-sue speed (meet everyone immediately) but they will appear _soon. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE._**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are greatly appreciated.**


	2. Old People: Don't Mess With Them

**I am back early and with a new chapter! The initial reception on the first chapter caused me to rethink of the plot line I have planned for this story. Don't worry, it's all for the better (I hope, you'll be the ones to decide that). **

**Disclaimer: Nope, not any time soon. At least until I can scientifically prove the existence of a soul (which means seeing one).**

**Note: Warning at end notes.**

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><p>"You know you can do better than this, Art-kun."<p>

I huffed in between my panting. This wrinkly, short old man named Fuji was nothing but demanding. He would wake me up at dawn, feed me a nice breakfast, drag me to his dojo, let me gloat at lunch, then continue working out till dusk, then go have a dinner and go to sleep, ready for another tiring day. I admit in the first weeks, this schedule wasn't much of a problem. My body was fresh and rested, and I had no purple marks on my skin. Nowadays, although I had some muscle in my body, I had bruises covering my form, and my limbs would always throb. Some unlucky times, I would even have a bandage around my arm or leg after a rather intense practice.

"Fujishima-sensei... I need... a break... now," I managed between pants.

The old man raised a bushy white eyebrow. "I'm older than your grandparents and you still cannot land a clean hit on me_, _after almost a _year _of practice. You shouldn't be asking me for breaks, Art-kun."

Yes, I concede the fact that all what my sensei said was the truth. Ever since Mihane sent me to this place, Fuji took me in and trained me in his dojo. However, not everything he does is for free (apparently, even in this _afterlife _everyone talks about here, nothing is without a price). We have this agreement: Fuji will train me with the goal of entering the Shino Academy, and to repay him I must advertise his services. At first I was apprehensive of his motives, as I didn't know if there were evil people in this _afterlife_, but after a day or two I accepted. Did I mention that this includes free housing? Yes, even I don't know why I hesitated a year ago.

"You still have... decades of experience," I retorted, my breathing returning to normal.

My sensei changed into his beginning stance and I held back a groan. I moved into my own stance, shaky and pathetic, and he launched himself at me in a series of kicks and punches. I once asked him what style he was teaching me, to which he simply replied _hakuda_. I have no idea why hand-to-hand combat is important, but I hope this information is taught in the Shino Academy.

I was down in the ground in two minutes and twenty-three seconds, shorter than what I usually go down in. I laid in the ground, my heart beat erratic and beads of sweat rolling down my face. I tried to sit up, but my body screamed in protest.

"We still need to work on your offensive and defensive capabilities. Your speed is astounding, and so are your reflexes and flexibility, but all of this is naught if you cannot properly hit the opponent or defend yourself against a threat." My sensei extended his hand and helped me up. We bowed to each other– me going lower than him– and finished our lesson. By now the sun was in it's journey to disappear and the moon was about to come out and shine.

Souls in this world say that Soul Society is the afterlife. I cannot tell them how wrong they are, but if I tell them that they are but a figment of my imagination, they will not believe me. So I keep quiet and go along with my day, minding nothing, meanwhile I inwardly laugh at all of this. Also, this world is extremely contradicting. The shinigami say that this place is heaven and sublime, with everything being perfect. Yet why is there crime and poverty in the lower districts of Rukongai? Questions that haunt my mind...

Today was Sunday, and as such we got a visit from an old woman living in the first district. Personally, I liked her quite a lot. She was nice, minded her own business, and helped me out with my Japanese. It was hard for me to disguise my Italian and American heritage in here, for some reason this place was infested with Japanese culture. Perhaps my mind sent me to the wrong area... That is why Hanari helped me with all related to Japanese customs that my parents hadn't taught me. However, I had a sinking feeling that Hanari thought I was a little bit... slower than usual. Whenever I tried to confront her and tell her that my ignorance stemmed from not being part of the community, something interrupted us. I tried so many times that I ceased from attempting to explain myself. Besides, the old lady seemed fond of my lack of knowledge, so I let her have that portion of my dignity in gratitude for her help.

The dojo doors slid open and there she appeared. Old with her eyes half-closed, gray hair, small and frail, and carrying a basket of peaches with her. Oh, what a sneaky old woman. She wanted something. I could see the glint in her lidded eyes. I crossed my arms and pouted, not wanting to see the abominable peaches. There was no way I would give into temptation. Peaches were _not _my–

"Artemis-chan?" she called out.

Against my will, I opened one eye and peered at her. "Yes, Hanari-san?"

"Would you like to have tea at my home?" she asked, giving me a gentle smile. I could see a glint in her eyes.

I turned to look at Fuji, pleading at him with my eyes that _begged _for him to do something that would require me not being able to go. "Fujishima-sensei, can I?"

Apparently, my actions were too subtle –or Fuji was going blinder– as the old man simply nodded at Hanari. I dreadfully turned to see the gentle smile widen into almost smirk. I inwardly shuddered; elderly people should not smirk.

"Come, Artemis-chan. Masashi, here are some peaches for your enjoyment." Hanari placed the basket of peaches on the floor, as there was no furniture in the wooden dojo, and turned.

"Thank you, Fusa. The fruits you bring are always sweet."

I felt indignation coursing through my veins. "Ah, Fujishima-sensei, are there going to be any peaches for me?" I asked quietly, my usual voice.

The wrinkly man stood in the middle of the dojo, looking pensive. "If you had only lasted _one _second longer, Art-kun," he finally said. "You've been too lazy this month."

The blow to my ego was not taken lightly. "Lazy? Anything but!" I cried, but it was just a faint shout. I felt my wrist come in contact with a small hand and felt a force dragging me away from my sensei. "Hanari-baasan?"

"Masashi will save some peaches for you, Artemis-chan, do not worry. However, I cannot say that I can save some patience for you today. You see, I _never _miss my tea at this time... I get quite irritated actually."

I gulped in dread. "I see..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Hanari turned and smiled at me. "Do you? Good. I was afraid we would have to talk this out."

Oftentimes I wondered why I could die and have no qualms with it, but I could never fight against the elderly, even if they shouldn't be considered so. For now, I would just have to stay quiet until I can figure how to dispose of this respect.

We walked down the streets of Rukongai in silence. It was a small journey from the third district, Hokutan, to the first district, Junrinan. Hanari was a person who only talked when spoken to, and I was not in the mood to initiate conversation. There was no need to disturb this tranquility that had befallen, one that I had been robbed of ever since I started training with Fuji. I remember when he was teaching me how to do a backflip. That night I could feel my back bending without my consent. True, I eventually learned, and now I can do it without thinking about it, but I was surprised on the lengths my sensei went to teach me. One could call them quite unorthodox actually. But no one is complaining.

"Oof!" I collided with someone and fell back, the person I crashed into also falling. I noticed some square glasses in the ground next to me and took them, determined to give them back. I stood up and dusted myself, still not meeting eyes with the person I had bumped into. "Sorry... I was lost in my thoughts. Here are your glasses."

"Thank you," a voice said.

The voice sounded familiar, however, so I raised my head and turned to see the woman cleaning her glasses. The similarity was uncanny. Feeling bold, I asked, "Shirogane Mihane?"

She put on her glasses and met my eyes. "Yes? That is..." Her words died as she locked eyes with me. Actually, her cheeks paled of color and her eyes widened. "D-Do I k-know you?"

I frowned at her, not content in her feigning ignorance. I decided to play her game. "Yes, don't you remember, Mind-san? You performed that weird–Mff!" Now _I _was surprised as said woman launched at me and covered my mouth with her hand.

Before I could retaliate, she spoke, "D-D-Do you remember your past life?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Of carse I do. Woy?" I decided not to correct her on her use of past life. For now I had different goals I had to achieve.

Mihane tentatively removed her hand from my mouth. She looked quite pale, now that I noticed. "H-Have you told anyone?"

Frankly, I myself was getting confused at her behavior. "No, I keep things to myself." My eyes narrowed to slits. "Why do you ask?"

"Is there something wrong, Shinigami-san?" Hanari broke in, a dreadful smile on her face.

The shinigami, however, was too lost in her thoughts to pay attention on the choking aura around her. "Yes, there is... Ah, her... ano, her reiatsu is causing a disturbance in Rukongai, yes. I was sent to retrieve her."

Hanari looked around. To me, the crowd couldn't have looked more normal. "I think you're mistake, Shinigami-san. Artemis-chan has a good amount of reiryoku with her, but nothing that would disturb the people."

Mihane looked cornered. "I do not question the orders... I am merely doing my job."

For some reason I decided not to call out Mihane on her lie. She was going to get me somewhere, of that I was sure. She was the one who sent me here, so she probably had something to do with how I could get back. Even if I needed to lie to my surrogate grandmother (which was really someone I imagined).

I studied Hanari from the corner of my eye. Her frightful smile had left and instead there was a concerned frown. "Ah, Gotei, to what are you up to?" she murmured quietly, shaking her head. "Fine, I will let you have Artemis-chan for this evening. However, when you report to your superiors please remind them that my grandson, who I believe has graduated from Shino a while ago, had higher reiatsu than this young girl, and never one of them went for him." Her lidded eyes opened slightly, a warning flash going through them. Ah, I thank whoever I'm supposed to thank that I wasn't in the receiving end of that threat.

Mihane looked appalled but nodded, not about to drop her act now. "Yes, I will relay your message."

Hanari turned to me and smiled. "I'll tell Masashi what happened, Artemis-chan. If something happens, please know that my home and the dojo are always places for refuge."

"Thank you, Hanari-baasan. I appreciate that." I bowed slightly, and the sly grandma decided to ruffle my hair, knowing how much I _abhorred _the action. A twitch was the only sign of my irritation. Outside I had a fake small smile that was supposed to show my gratitude to the elderly woman.

"Costa-san, let's go," said Mihane, a little bit more controlled but still impatient.

I resisted rolling my eyes and dutifully walked behind her. I turned around to wave slightly at Hanari, who waved back and walked at the opposite side of where we were going. I sped to catch up with the nervous Mihane, who was purposely avoiding eye contact with me when I was walking side by side with her. "What is the meaning of this?" I asked quietly.

She shivered slightly. "What... What do you remember about your past life?"

I frowned slightly, but was otherwise composed. "I remember everything a human can remember from _before I was shot_." I did not like the way the woman referred my life as, and I wanted to send more than faint indicators of my preferences.

"So you remember your family and friends?"

"Yes."

"Any your memories of your childhood?"

"Without a doubt."

"Do you still have your previous talents?" Mihane's pace got faster until I almost had to jog to catch up with her.

"...I believe so, I don't see why not." I stopped waking and looked at her, who was a few feet ahead of me. She also halted but did not turn around to look at me. "Shirogane-san, your behavior is unsettling and exasperating. Why are you asking me all of these questions?"

"You won't know this because you haven't asked," Mihane said as she turned around and locked eyes with me, "but Souls aren't supposed to remember their past life. In fact, Souls _don't _remember their past lives. You, however, do."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Mind-san, why do you make such obvious inquiries? I remember everything because I'm not dead. I'm merely in a coma, perhaps vegetative state, and this is a fight for my life right now."

Mihane sighed, thinking she was not getting through me. She shook her head and motioned for me to go beside her. I strolled to her, thinking of the situation at hand. Why in the world would Mihane be interested in me? Yes, I was a _Soul_ who had memories of before she died, woo-hoo, yay me. First of all, I had no soul, because I was evil and a demon child. Second, I was most definitely _not _dead. Third... I don't need a third reason to prove my point.

"Listen, Costa-san, I _beg _you not to tell anyone that you remember anything," she said in a pleading voice that surprised me. "Unfortunately, I cannot let you remain here in Rukongai."

"Why?" I demanded incredulously, my voice actually raising to resemble a normal person's voice.

Mihane seemed to struggle here. "Well... You're my responsibility now. You're all confused and scared and hurting because of something I did wrong. If you enroll and graduate from Shino Academy, then not only can you be part of the Gotei 13 and possibly be in my squad, but you have something to do to take your mind off the pain."

If there was a time I had been thoroughly confused, it was now. "Confused? Hurt? Shirogane-san, what are you talking about?"

Her eyes conveyed pity I wanted to remove. "It is alright to hide your emotions, I know _enough _about those kinds of people," she finished muttering rather darkly. "But I feel responsible for what's happening right now. Even in Shino Academy I can have more access to you than if you're wandering around Rukongai."

"So you don't trust me," I deduced quietly, a small smirk on my face.

Mihane frantically waved her hands in front of me, her expression amusing. "N- N-No! T-That's not it!"

I chuckled quietly. "Do not worry, Shirogane-san, I am merely teasing you. Fine, I'll join Shino Academy as soon as possible. But how am I going to get in? The entrance exams were three weeks ago."

She smiled deviously at me. "Now trust me, Costa-san. You're going to get in." I peered curiously at her, my expression asking her to explain herself. "Ah, you see, although the entrance exams were three weeks ago, there is always a five-week grazing period. This is for the people that could not join for certain personal reasons. Applicants in this grazing period are graded more harshly and take the space in classrooms that haven't been filled, but I have no doubt you'll make it."

"I thought getting accepted was hard. A lieutenant once failed the entrance exam twice, correct?"

"You mean Shu– I mean Hisagi-fukutaichou? Well, I'll consider him a special case. Hisagi-fukutaichou was very immature in his younger years. He was merely rejected until he matured a little. No, the reason why becoming a shinigami is hard is not because Shino Academy doesn't accept many people, but mainly because the curriculum is rigorous. Many students drop out on their first year, and even more follow throughout. Most of the remaining are not exactly the most talented, but the most stubborn..."

"Hm, is that so? Well, I say that we could try, right?" Although her intentions were still somewhat hidden from me, I too have my own secret agenda. The reason why she wouldn't let me remain in Rukongai was a little weak, but this would have to do.

"That's the spirit, Costa-san."

I frowned lightly. "Please at least call me Artemis. It is not usual in my culture to call each other by our last name. I still haven't gotten used to calling people their last names."

"Very well, Artemis-san. But I expect the same," she replied, grinning slightly.

I allowed a small smile. "Of course, Mihane-san. I do have a question: is there anything I need to apply for the Shino Academy?"

From the distance I could see the heavily Japanese influenced building. It was imposing, yes, and noisy. Classes had started already, apparently.

"Just oneself." Mihane also looked forward, a serene smile in her face. "This place brings good memories. When you are inside, go to the furthermost building. You can't miss it, it's the biggest one." We came to a stop right in front of the grand gates of Shino Academy. They were open and inviting, surely to admit more people that were probably scared out of their wits. Mihane turned at me and smiled sadly. "Well, this is where I leave you, Artemis-san. Unfortunately I'm on slave duty this week, and I can't afford to be late, since my taichou could very well kill with a look."

"They sound scary, the Gotei 13 taichou, I mean. They sound very powerful."

Mihane nodded in thought. "There is a reason why there's just thirteen of them, soutaicho not included. He is in another level. It is good to aim to be in even a spectrum of their strength. It's bound to make you want to achieve greatness."

I was not interested in becoming strong enough to match a taichou; I was intent in finding a way to go back to the world of the living. If that required me to become stronger, so be it. Even if I had to kill... I would do it. Mainly because all of this could very well be something that was only happening inside certain comatose mind. "I'll make sure to find a suitable goal, Mihane-san. I do not wish to keep you or your taichou waiting any longer."

Mihane smiled gratefully and nodded, disappearing in a blur. I blinked thrice at it; this was the first time I had seen anything quite like it. If the Shino Academy taught this, then there was no doubt I would be enjoying my time in here. At least as much time as I would be allowed.

Inhaling deeply, I went through the imposing gates and stepped inside the academy. It resembled a college campus, with green areas around the courtyard that had some impressive ancient trees every once in a while. The beautiful sakura trees had already bloomed, and they were starting to fall (I still hadn't had the opportunity to see them in full bloom). The grass was a healthy green color and dewy, with life forms scurrying around. The late April breeze was pleasing under the heat but irritating, as my hair got in my way a good number of times. Around the courtyard were three main buildings, each heavily influenced from the Japanese culture. The largest one, my destination, was in the center and was the most imposing. There was a grand, hefty-looking wooden door in between the Shino Academy and me. There was this power flowing from the other side, a mixture of many joining to form something magnificent and more difficult to comprehend, that made me reconsider my initial plans of going back to my family.

For all one knows, I might learn something new from this experience. It may be that I would have to rethink my view point on this first-glance nuisance.

Of course, that would be whenever I found a way to deal with this insanity called Soul Society.

* * *

><p><strong>Any comments, criticisms, or concerns are widely accepted.<strong>

**Warning: You read Art's thoughts, which means that all of her opinions may or may not be offensive regarding the subject of religion. Although this won't happen quite a lot, be mindful of the other readers if you review. This is done for humor... Reviews, maybe not. I can take it, but keep in mind that a debate on this is _not _the point of a story. Besides, the title is very explicit.**


	3. Achievement Unlocked: Academy Survivor

**Oh, wow, I deserve a medal. I have updated a total of _three _times in a week. Of course, now I will go to a probable one time a week, as I will be busy this summer break *drum roll* reading. Yes, there is a considerable amount of books that have yet to be bought.**

**to Devonne: To answer your first question, although I remember Shibata that he remembers his past life (haha, that sounded weird), I am going with something Urahara said in the first move (?). Something along the lines of very, very rare and almost impossible. Besides, if a konso is done properly, then this should not happen. I personally believe it's because Ichigo wasn't a legit Shinigami just then. And if I'm wrong, let's go with the "it's really rare" for the sake of this story xD Also, I can't answer your other two questions, but you will find out soon xP**

**Disclaimer: ...Read chapter 1 or 2.**

* * *

><p>I tried not grumbling in irritation as I walked through the wooden hallways. The damn people in this school could not afford to aid me find my testing room? Very well, I most certainly <em>did not <em>need their help. The attendance person told me to go to room A112 and gave me a general idea of where to go. So far, the labels on the doors ranged from B225 to B230. I was close by, though; I could feel my natural inner guide telling me so.

...Maybe I was a _little_ lost.

"C-Can I help you?" a timid voice interrupted my musings.

I raised my head and regarded a short boy with mid-length black hair and blue eyes that was ahead of me, going the way I just departed from. He had a shinigami clothing (for I knew not how to call what a death god wore) and was carrying a large stack of papers, causing his posture to be hunched. His eyes were downcast, impeding me from scrutinizing him any further. "If you know where A112 is, then yes."

He turned and briefly locked eyes with me before nodding. "I... I was going that way to deliver these around that area." He tried raising the pile to attract my attention to them, but he barely managed to lift them just a bit. I sighed and walked to him, relieving him of half of his burden. The boy looked at me in bewilderment and choked out a pathetic, "W-Wait! Don't worry!"

I shifted my arms slightly to better accommodate the weight of the heap of papers. "The stack of papers seemed too much for one person only. Also, consider this a compensation for the help you will provide me."

The boy smiled timidly and bowed slightly. "Yamada Hanataro, pleasure to meet you."

I allowed a small smile and replied, "De Costa Artemis. Shall we?" I gestured the hallway that continued at me, keen in going to my exam.

Hanataro nodded furiously and started walking in the opposite direction in which I was going. I felt slightly humiliated that my sense of direction had fooled me, and was thankful that Hanataro was concentrated straight ahead from looking to his left and noticing the slight heat on my cheeks. We were close to the entrance of the academy when he made a sudden right and the A100s came into view. So my destination was this close all the time. Now I knew why they hadn't bothered helping me find my testing room; it should've been easy for anyone with at least an ounce of direction.

Unfortunately I realized that once again my orientation skills were not my forte.

"What are you doing here, DeCosta-san?" he asked as we came to a stop in front of the door.

I sighed at my little slip; of course that things such as "de" never came to the Japanese language. "Just Costa." I refrained from telling him to call me Artemis, knowing that by his shy nature he would refuse. When he nodded in understanding, I continued, "I am taking the entrance exam."

"R...Really? I could've sworn you were already an academy pupil, although your lack of uniform threw me off a little bit. You certainly have the air of a student... Costa-san."

Hanataro's awed expression caused me to chuckle slightly. That air of a student can be because I have spent most of my lifetime in an educational premise. I wasn't going to to tell him that, especially after the cryptic warning Mihane had given me. "Yamada-san, aren't you the comical person?" Hanataro's cheeks reddened slightly, drawing an amused smirk in my face. "Well, Yamada-san, I must go now, but I wish we see each other again in the future."I gingerly placed my heap of papers on top of Hanataro's, and to my amusement his shoulders slouched again.

He smiled shyly and nodded. "I- I'm sure we will, Costa-san. Good luck on your exam. I'm sure I'll see you around."

I nodded and waved at him, sliding room A112's door open and going inside. There in man with short black hair and dark brown eyes sat with his legs under him and his knees touching the floor. He had his eyes closed, lost in thought, seemingly not noticing my entrance. Just as I was about to present myself, he spoke, "Costa Artemis?"

"That is me," I replied calmly, although the level of my voice might have indicated other wise.

He gestured me to sit in front of me, his eyes still closed, and I obliged, copying his way of sitting. We sat in silence for a _long _time, maybe even _hours_, certainly longer than what my patience ran. I could feel my hands twitching to be balled into fists, and my shoulders shaking in irritation. Just as I was about to succumb to my vexation, the man raised his hands in a signal of halting. "That is enough, Costa. You have proved that you have sufficient reiatsu." I blinked in surprise, not really knowing what to reply. "For future reference, when annoyed or irritated, please refrain from spiking your reiatsu so much. It might let your opponent know of your position when you are about to attack. That is _if _you ever are in the position to be attacked."

I took great umbrage at his remark. Had he just insinuated that I wasn't going to become a shinigami? However, I had to admit that his observation was correct. Even I was starting to feel a heavy pressure in the air. I locked eyes with my examiner and mumbled a quiet, "Thank you for your time."

He acknowledged my gratitude with a thanks and took out a sheet of paper from inside his uniform. "This is your schedule." He handled me the paper and before I could even look at its contents, he pressed on, "It was made thinking that anyone would make it. Of course, if you hadn't, then I wouldn't be giving this to you. You'll be a first year, Class four, for the average talents, unless proven otherwise. Unfortunately, since you were this late, your classes have been chosen by the academy and were not left up to you. You start tomorrow at six; don't be late. Go to the front room to receive your room key. You're dismissed."

Not needing to be told twice, I rose and walked in quick steps outside. I let out a pent up sigh of relief and smiled. Now I was going to begin in my mission to become stronger. This strength that I could get could increase my strength of mind, and there is no doubt that I needed that. The world for once didn't seem grim and ominous, being lit by the hope that there was something _I_ could do to go back to my family.

I frowned slightly as my chest tightened. I hadn't seen my family in almost a year. Were they fine? Did trust in my determination to survive that they still waited for my return? There were times in which I felt conscious of the pain that I caused them. I was somewhat selfish, perhaps, to only think of my own pain if a family member of mine were to die that I had never stopped to think that anguish I would cause them. But as harsh the thought, I preferred being selfish over living with grief.

My thoughts were cut short when I went back to the entrance. The woman that had pointed me to my test room was still working on a pile of paperwork, a look of intense concentration on her face. I walked up to her and waited for her to raise her milky blue eyes.

"Ah, Costa-san, I see you made it," she said as she saw the paper in my right hand.

"Yes, my assessor told me to ask you about my quarters."

She turned to the computer to her right and typed something. As she searched for information, my mind again entertained itself with unimportant thoughts. So shinigami had access to technology... Wouldn't this whole hunting Hollow thing be easier if they had guns? Imagine all the trouble that could be saved by dropping a nuclear bomb on an army of Hollow. But the katanas that they carried –which had a special name I could not remember right now– must have a reason for existence, which I hope is necessary.

"Here it is," she announced suddenly, startling me slightly. "There is this incomplete bedroom which you can share. There's supposed to be four to a room, but there's only three on this one. Your roommates would be Ichihara Airi and Kawate Sachi, room A934. I have just sent someone to deliver five uniforms and a wooden katana to your room.

"As a new student, I'll briefly explain the buildings of the Shino Academy. In this building you will find the classes that mainly explain theory, history, and rules of the shinigami. The dormitories are also here as well. The building to the right is the Zanjutsu training hall, where Hakuda and Hoho are also practiced. Finally, the building to the left is the Kido training center, where it is especially reinforced with Bakudo barriers and Fourth Division members in case of injuries. The Zanjutsu training hall is always open if you practice with a wooden sword, but the Kido training center requires the supervision of a Fourth Division member and a Kido practitioner. Here is a small booklet of what is expected of you by the Shino Academy. Any questions, Costa-san?"

The "small" booklet that the brunet had given me could actually give my old World History book a run for its money. I tried not to let the heavy book fall and instead shifted the book so that my hands were under it. "No, thank you. If I get lost I'll ask Ichihara-san or Kawate-san."

"Oh, yes, count on them. They are also in their first year, Class Four. They share most of your classes, as well as thirty-two other students. I wish you good luck, Costa-san."

I bowed slightly at her, a show of my gratefulness, and left. When I had turned into the rightmost hallway, I realized the question I had forgotten to ask her: Where's my bedroom? My left eye twitched slightly in irritation. Oh, well, I had quite a few hours to spare.

* * *

><p>"So you're our new roommate?"<p>

"Yes, Ichihara." I carefully analyzed my two new roommates that were sitting across of me, Airi in the lower bed and Sachi in the top one. So far they seemed like normal girls who would not cause trouble. Good, I did not need to be involved in mischief right now.

Airi probably misinterpreted the quietness of my voice as irritation, as she pouted. "You make it sound so _not _cute, Costa-chan."

I stared with a puzzled expression at the petulant girl. Even though Hanari had taught me the common suffixes in the Japanese language, I had never used -chan on anyone, simply because I did not come in close contact with females my age. Before I came with a reply, Sachi cut in, "Please excuse her, Costa-san. She didn't know she was going to offend you."

"I see... It doesn't matter. No offense taken, Ichihara-chan." I grimaced slightly as the newly-used suffix came out sounding awkward, but the recipient was so elated she didn't even notice. I turned to my other roommate, who was smiling at her friend's behavior. "Would you like the same treatment, Kawate-san?"

"If it isn't too much trouble, Costa-chan," she replied, her blue eyes twinkling in amusement. I never thought I would feel so abashed at my ignorance of culture, but I had to admit I was doing a good job in hiding it. My cheeks, after all, only colored slightly. "Ah, yes, we forgot to ask you! Do you have any questions for us?"

"Actually, I do. At what time do we wake up?"

"Classes start at eight in the morning, so I personally recommend planning at that. I usually wake up around six thirty, sometimes even when I'm extremely tired, so I wake Airi-chan at seven. Do you want me to wake you up, Costa-chan?"

"If it isn't too much trouble, seven thirty sounds fine." It was part of my nocturnal ritual to take a hot shower or bath an hour or two before going to sleep, so I did not worry about waking up late.

Airi giggled out of nowhere. "Costa-chan, I have to strain my ears to hear you! Your shyness is _so cute_!"

"Airi-chan..." Sachi said warningly. Outwardly, I was blase, as my quietness had been pointed out many times before. Inwardly, however, I was fuming. Such flippant comment earned the girl negative points before we even started living together. But perhaps there is an Airi in all situations, even in an a reality created by my subconscious. Maybe I was stereotypical? Anyway, I gave a small smile to the two girls and closed my eyes. No use in them seeing my annoyance.

"You worry too much, Sachi-chan! See, she is alright! Right, Artemis-chan?" Oh, first name basis so soon? This honorific etiquette was also quickly getting on my nerves. Why couldn't there be a standard set in stone on how to use honorifics? But then again, standards limit the capabilities of its followers, both intellectual and freedom-wise, so perhaps it's acceptable for people like Airi to exist. Besides, wasn't this what I wanted? Such a contradictory being I am. Here, I speak against– "Hellooo? Artemis-chan? You in there?"

Twitch. "Of course, _Ichihara-chan_, I was just lost in my thoughts. I tend to space out more than what should be the norm."

Airi giggled. "That's okay! Everyone has something weird to them." I made a mental note that when I came back to the world of the living I _needed _to find out when thinking became attributed as an eccentric quality. "Do you want to hear the schedule and a brief recap of everything?"

"Maybe I should do it," Sachi told Airi, who started sulking. "That is if you want to hear it."

I opened my eyes and smiled gratefully at Sachi. "Sure, Kawate-chan. I did not have time to read the schedule as I had other matters that took my time." Which _matter _was that I needed to find the room in the first place.

"Alright, the day starts like this..."

* * *

><p>I had a strong sense of deja vu as I became one of the faceless people in the wooden hallways of the Shino Academy. I tuned out the chatter of the people, including Airi's babbling and Sachi's offhand remarks in letting Airi think she was actually listening to her. There were two prominent differences, one physical and the other psychological, in this scenario compared to high school: I was wearing a red uniform, and the mental one being that this was not exactly real. Although I had accepted some level of seriousness from this place, I was still not completely sure if I should be careful regarding this place. For example, a question came up to my mind yesterday, after a year of residence in Soul Society: if I die here, what happens? Does my mind die and so does my body, or do I wake up, and meet my family? I was still too cowardly to try, as I didn't want to make mistake that could cost my own life.<p>

It was a very troubling thought for an atheist.

My pondering was cut short as I entered the class room. For a second I thought I was entering a college classroom, with many long rows of seats divided by walkways in descent and a large blackboard in the lowermost part of the room. There was a shinigami in his desk, writing in some papers meanwhile the students filed in. Airi, Sachi, and I sat in the left side of the classroom, in the middle of the room. Airi sat in the leftmost seat, Sachi followed, and I sat to her right, with a stranger sitting to my right. We all took out our materials to start the class. I dreaded the fact that, like everyone else, I would have to write everything down in kanji with ink and a brush. My kanji, as Hanari once told me _nicely_, sucked... a lot.

Our teacher raised his head and contemplated his class. Everyone immediately stopped conversing and waited for our teacher to speak. "Good morning, everyone."

"Good morning, Kira-sensei," the class replied in unison save for me.

Kira stood up and went to my side of the room. "We have yet another late-entry student," he proceeded, no contempt in his voice. "Please stand up, Costa Artemis." I hesitated for a split second before complying to his orders. I could feel all of my classmates' gazes on me, yet I ignored them; Kira was the one I was interested in. "We did this the first day of school, but since you missed it, you'll be the only in doing this today. Tell us, Costa-san, what skill do you wish to learn from this haiku class?"

"...To wake up," I replied loud enough for Kira to hear. I heard a scoff to my right but I ignored it.

Kira blinked and smiled. "Well, I officially like every student in the class. You may sit down, Costa-san." I sat down deliberately, not about to show my uncomfortableness. I felt a burning glare coming from my right, but I did not have the time to acknowledge it. I was busy writing notes and making sure my strokes were at least legible for translation.

"When do you think you're going to address me, imprudent girl?" an indignant voice demanded.

I carefully stopped writing on my paper, as I didn't want to mark it with unnecessary blotches. Making sure that Kira was still going writing down his notes, I turned to my rude interruptor. "Excuse me?" I intoned coldly.

The insolent boy kept glaring daggers at me. "I should be asking you that question. What manners do they teach peasants nowadays in Rukongai? Isn't it obvious enough that I belong to the honorable Kannogi family?"

"That same question can be applied to you, Kannogi-san." The boy seemed even more offended that I had used a commonly used honorific. Was he so overbearing that not even common politeness satisfied him? And so he was one of the nobles Hanari and Fuji had told me about. They had said that they were families with cultural, social, and governmental influences. Naturally, all of this power will make a person pompous. I have no qualms with this, 'tis human nature. However, I disagreed strongly with the idea of being born with power instead of earning it. Having these noble houses, a form of royalty as I saw them, limited how far an average person could go, no matter how talented or hardworking the person was. And if I had a second to name something I loath, I would not hesitate before saying _restrictions_. "Then again, you have to take into consideration that I am behind regarding the people in this class."

The black-haired boy sneered at me. "Ah, so you're slow?"

"Perhaps," I answered with a shrug, apparently agreeing with him. However, I did not take a jab into my conceptual abilities lightly. "Though it is bad to tease a person with difficulties, Kannogi-san," I continued quietly, feigning hurt. "Did they not teach you that in the most honorable Kannogi family?"

I allowed myself a secretive smirk as his face turned bright red. Before he could answer, I returned to my work. As much entertainment I could get from making fun of the boy, I needed to catch up with the three weeks of work I had missed.

"Mark my words, Costa," I heard the boy snarl quietly, "I _will _make you give me the respect I deserve. I _will _on my name Kannogi Takahiro."

My smirk widened. I had always desired to have a rival. Who would have known I had the mental power to make one myself? ...Oh, great, I had created a rival myself and am going to take his challenge seriously. I am one hell of a quirky child.

"Class, remember that tomorrow is Saturday and is the date I told you since the beginning week that you would present your project." I raised my head from my notes and peered at my teacher, dumbfounded. Project? What? When? "For those procrastinators, here is the topic again: write about one thing of nature you despise. It will be graded on completion, but I still want a five-seven-five format."

"Do not ask Kira-sensei if he can give you more time," Sachi told me when she saw I was about to raise my hand. "He's a good person, but haiku is his only passion. Besides, it's easy. I did mine in five minutes."

"You have something you hate, Costa-chan?" Airi asked from Sachi's left.

Oh yes I did. This project would be easier than expected. "Of course, Ichihara-chan. We all do." I resisted turning to my right to glare at the pig-headed Kannogi that wouldn't leave me alone and was glowering at me.

"You are dismissed. Have a wonderful day," Kira said in his polite voice and we all voiced our thanks. Kannogi left his seat in a rush, not bothering in looking back. In contrast, the three of us took our time in going to our next class, which was another one hour lesson on Zanjutsu.

Said class was _uneventful_. I finally got to use my wooden katana, and found out that absolute clumsiness in handling a sword took the name of Artemis Costa. I have to admit, even in my utter fail, I was fairing better than Airi. I was even asked by my sensei to help her hold the sword correctly, even if she had a three-week advantage over me. Of course, this caused the delicate girl to become extremely disappointed with herself and almost gave up, and as the person closest to her, I was obligated to comfort her.

"Ah... Ano, Ichihara-chan, you don't need to give up." Comforting Artemis was not a successful being. The girl continued with her sulky look, tears threatening to leave as she regarded the wooden katana she was holding. If that can be considered a hold. "H-How about practicing after school? Does that sound fine?"

She turned her huge brown eyes to me, and I felt dread washing every nook and cranny of my body. "You... would do that for me?"

I gulped slightly. "Y... Yes, Ichihara-chan." There was something more I wanted to say, but I struggled pathetically at it. "That's what friends do...correct?"

The widest grin took over her face, any remnants of her sullen moment gone. "Artemis-chan is _so kind_!"

Sachi –who had seen our interaction all along yet offered no help– seemingly giggled at Airi's antics, but I had a nagging feeling she was also laughing at my failure in consoling Airi. "She has been trying to find a partner to help her ever since week two, but everyone is too busy for her." Sachi's blue eyes glinted playfully. "That was until you came along, of course."

The world was most definitely against me today.

To make matters short, I discovered several things on my first day as an Academy student: my Kido skills were almost nonexistent, my Hakuda could be compared to a Class One (for now), my Hoho a Class Two (yet again, for now), and my Zanjutsu was the average. Also, nobles had a knack for showing off. There was school tomorrow, even though my body was screaming in protest (why was I educated in the lazy American education style and then shoved in the rigorous six-days-of-school Japanese approach?). Night spars with Airi were futile, as it was like a blind person explaining another blind person the color red. Additionally, as if I needed more humiliation, Airi had _insisted_ to be my tutor in Kido, as she was the best in our class and thought she had to repay me the favor of the Zanjutsu lessons (even after I tried to convince her that I was using that time to practice myself). So far she was trying to find a medical volunteer to accompany us, since she qualified as a competent practitioner for now. I was quickly finding out why Mihane told me Shino Academy was so hard.

This was barely _day one_.

As I laid on my bed, about to fall asleep after my nocturnal reflections, a troubling thought came over me: I had completely forgotten about my haiku for Kira's class.

_Shit_.

Oh, well, I'll just do it early in the morning.

* * *

><p><strong>As I proofread this chapter, I realized: Damn, Artemis thinks so much! I should tone it down maybe. And then I reread the title of this fanfic. Suddenly everything made so much sense.<strong>

**I have this thing with Bleach OC stories. Some they skip the whole Academy section if said OC starts from Rukongai, which impedes whatever character development could've taken, and yet others take _way _too much time in it, with a bunch of not-so-main OCs that end up boring and forgettable. So I decided to do something different (but I'm positive someone has done before), unless, of course, if the readers object and like one of the two styles mentioned above. The point is to leave no holes in the Academy education meanwhile not boring anyone to tears.**

** Also, we will have two appearances in the next chapter of two favorite characters.**

**I have already written Artemis haiku (actually, my sister did, but whatever). I... don't know what to say about it, only that the last thing it is is artistic.**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are appreciated.**


	4. Fortune Not Found: Abort or Retry?

**After a long and arduous year, I can say that I survived my freshman year. The feeling is so liberating... But I haven't asked my parents for my summer reading books and my biology summer assignment makes me go a little faint, so for now I'm free. If there is anything or anyone to thank, it is my laziness.**

* * *

><p><em>Saturday, April 24th, 1999<em>

_Plak._

I stared at the third blotch of ink in my homework with growing irritation. At this rate, I was never going to finish. Nowadays, it was too much to ask to wake up early. I had prepared myself for being able to write this haiku in five minutes, but–

"Alright class, I'll go around and check your homework. Please have it ready."

–something always has to go wrong when it comes to late work. This time, Sachi had woken up late, and we only had five minutes to get ready and go to our first class, which was in A234. The classrooms ended in A299, but it was still quite a few ways to go from the dormitories. In the end, we had been three minutes late, and Kira had only excused us from the goodness of his heart. Which is why my heart was sinking in dread at the idea of him thinking I was taking advantage of him.

"Hurry up, Artemis-chan!" Airi whispered hurriedly to me. I was tempted to snap at her, especially after glancing at her own neat paper, with her graceful kanji characters glaring at me, but that would have taken too much time from me. I simply ignored her and continued writing.

Sachi tapped my lap twice, and I sent her a blank look, not meaning to show my chagrin. She gestured in front of her, and I turned to see that Kira was already in the row ahead of us. So fast! But of course, since we had been late, we were forced to take the seats that were vacant, and apparently I was not the only one that had forgotten about her haiku. And as luck would have it, Airi and Sachi would both be unwilling to give me one their middle seats, leaving me next to the walkway and the first one in my row to turn in my haiku.

I sighed happily as I finished my poetic piece. I reread the haiku, just to make sure that the unusual inspiration that I had blindly followed hadn't betrayed me. I had no skills in the matters of literature or artwork. My words had been told to be bland and unemotional and teachers asked of me many times to redraw a stick figure or two that did not resemble five lines with a circle at all. This brought great troubles for me in learning the techniques behind kanji. Delicate, careful, and deliberate strokes... If one made a mistake in one single movement, the character might be illegible or resemble something else.

My eyes widened slightly as I finished reading my haiku. How... How in the world had I written that? Was it even possible? _Why _would I even write that? Before I crumpled the sheet and started in a new one, Kira picked my paper. His eyes widened slightly as he read it over, and I soon felt mortification washing over me.

"Hmm... Ah, ano... Costa-san, I will need to speak with you after class is over," he told me quietly, his blue eyes worried. He went on to read Sachi's, then Airi's, and soon continued his way through the whole classroom. What would he do to me? If I were to be expelled, then I would need to find a new reason in this Soul Society place. Quite frankly, I was not in the mood to find a different approach in waking up. I might just grow bored and give up entirely... Which was not good.

In my contemplating on this new difficulty, I had not noticed that Kira had dismissed the students. He was in his desk, grading some papers. I tentatively got up, clutching my poem tightly. I walked down the stairs and went to stand in front of Kira. I attempted to gauge his expression, to see if I was in big trouble or even death row, but unfortunately his blond hair was hiding his face. His brush suddenly stopped and he put it back in his ink well, his movements weighed down by something I could not recognize. He raised his tired eyes and met my expectant eyes. "We have a problem, Costa-san."

I gulped unconsciously. Of course, my haiku, if it could even be considered one, was very offensive.

_Dickless piece of crap_

_Carbon and water wasted _

_may you rot in hell _

...It certainly did not leave a desirable nature image in my head, and it was quite vulgar. It was most definitely _not _a haiku. Stupid Kannogi boy, making me lose my temper early in the morning! When I finally registered that the so called inspiration I had previously identified was in fact wrath, it was already too late to explain myself. "I understand," I said morosely.

"Yes, it is very troubling. The fact that I could not recognize a _single _character is upsetting for both you and me. I could not appreciate what could possibly be an amazing piece of literature." I gaped at him, not even trying to close my mouth. When he saw that I wasn't going to say anything, he continued, "Do you have any... Eto, how to say this? Problems?" He grew nervous and waved his hands in front of my face, probably since my face switched from astonishment to horrification. "I-I didn't mean to offend you, Costa-san! I know that you try really hard, I'm sure you do! But... I can't really grade _anything _you give me, even your other teachers, if your handwriting is _this _illegible."

My cheeks raised in temperature to levels I was not even aware of. "Kira-sensei," I murmured slowly, "I don't have any problems." Now it was Kira's turn to look panicked. He groaned quietly, and in a rare moment of kindness, I continued, "But my artistic talent is quite low. I had much trouble communicating in Rukongai. It can be said that I don't know how to write properly."

"Is that so?" he said quietly, more to himself than to me. "I am not distinguished in the art of calligraphy..." he trailed off, not knowing what to say. Meanwhile he was mulling over his options, I wondered if I should tell him of my situation. Although Mihane had explicitly told me to keep it a secret, I felt as if I could trust Kira. He did not seem like the kind of person to judge prematurely and I felt that he was a good man inside. Besides, this was not the time or place to hesitate. This could be crucial, a key even. Maybe I needed to learn a lesson from this whole ordeal and _then _my body would grow strong enough to wake up. I would never know if– "Fortunately, I'm well acquainted with an excelled calligraphy master. He's very kind and I'm sure he'll help you out given your situation."

"My situation?"

He averted his gaze from me and focused on his papers. "Well, Costa-san, I'm afraid you must have some sort of problem if you can't properly write in kanji. Don't worry, I'll make sure that by the time you graduate Shino, I'll be able to read anything you write for me." He looked up and smiled at me, no pity in his eyes.

Although it was not in my nature to have people mistake me as some kind of challenged person, I appreciated what Kira was doing for me. After all, I would gain more in this tutoring than what I could lose. I bowed lowly, and still looking downward, said clearly, "Thank you very much, Kira-sensei." I returned to my original posture, which still had some remnants of the awkwardness of the situation. "Who would be my tutor, sensei?"

"The head of the Fifth Division, Aizen-taichou. Don't get nervous, Costa-san, he is one of the most respectable taichou you will ever find."

I frowned lightly. So a captain would know about my special _condition_. O the humiliation! However, he is the only one able to give me the instruction I need to become good in the writing system that this world seems to value highly. Neither honor nor pride came before knowledge and truth. To have either or both is useless if one is an ignorant, lying cretin. Which is why I will forsake the pride I had in my command of languages in order to further develop my Japanese. "Kira-sensei, how do you know Aizen-taichou, then?"

He looked surprised, as if he could not believe what I was saying. "That is because I'm the fukutaichou of the Third Division, Kira Izuru." He peered at me curiously. "I thought it was common knowledge that I gave lessons in here for my own enjoyment."

Surprisingly, I was starting to be familiar with the feeling of embarrassment. This time, I did not seem as flustered as I would have expected. "I am ignorant regarding anything to do with the Gotei 13, Kira-sensei," I replied truthfully.

His mouth formed an O and nodded in understanding. "I see. That is nothing to be ashamed of, Costa-san. That is why you're here, after all: to learn. I'll try to contact Aizen-taichou this week and I'll tell you the time and date he set the next time we meet, which will be Thursday."

I nodded. "Thank you. If Aizen-taichou cannot do it, I will understand. Have a nice day, Kira-sensei."

"You too, Costa-san."

I turned and went to gather my things. Students were already filing in, taking their seats, and I resisted sighing in irritation. I was already late for my next class.

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, April 25th, 1999<em>

"Artemis-chan!" a sing-song voice whispered next to me. I groaned lightly and turned to the other side of my bed, not before lightly slapping the offending figure that wanted to interrupt my sleep. "Artemis-chan!" the voice now whined, poking me in the shoulder. My eyes snapped open and I turned on my side to glare at big brown eyes. "You're awake!" she yelled.

"Ugh," I moaned and turned, closing my eyes instantly. "Go away."

Airi, however, was relentless. "But it's TWO in the afternoon! You're going to waste your Sunday!"

I grumbled, "That is exactly how I spend my Sunday mornings, Ichihara-_san_." I faced her just in time to see her wince.

"No need to get so mad," she muttered, avoiding my glower.

Deciding not to pay more attention to the meddling girl, I went under the covers and tried to fall asleep again. However my attempt proved to be fruitless, as once awake I could not go back to sleep as much as I tried. I slowly got up from my bed and sluggishly went to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I was about to go have a relaxing time meanwhile I did my natural human actions when an obnoxious knock stopped me as I was about to pull down my underwear.

"Artemis-chan! We need to go practice!" Airi said, a tone of urgency in her voice.

I pulled my sleeping pants up and decided to open the door just to give Airi my incredulous stare. "You want to train on a _Sunday_?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

My eyes closed on their own accord. My arms started shaking visibly, and some effort was required to stop the tremble. "It's _Sunday_, Ichihara-chan," I said very quietly. "I rest on Sundays, and you should as well. Why don't you go practice with Kawate-chan?"

Airi stuck her bottom lip out and her eyes grew wide. "But that's what lazy people do, Artemis-chan! You don't seem like a lazy person. And Sachi-chan left early in the morning to go visit her family..."

"People who know their own limits rest, Ichihara-chan." Somehow my voice took a motherly tone of voice as I explained this easy concept to this person of around my age that was acting like a child.

"By sleeping till two o'clock?"

"Everyone has their own definition of resting," I replied as I walked to our shared wardrobe and got some of my comfortable clothes, a simple brown hakama and new pair of underwear. I went back to the bathroom and closed the door.

"Oh, I see..." she said in a thoughtful voice beyond the door. I inwardly jumped in happiness. The troublesome girl was going to let me be! But now that I was awake, I really need to do something productive. Exiting the bathroom, I put down the clothes in the washing basket and went to make my bed. Perhaps I should practice... Does the Shino Academy have– "So are we practicing or not?"

At that moment I felt like a little part of me withered. With no other choice but to comply with the persistent girl, I took my wooden sword and slid the door open, Airi skipping behind me. My Sunday, my only day of rest, was going to be spent _working_. The mere idea made me _pissed_.

_Oh_...

...I forgot to pee.

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday, April 28th, 1999<em>

The steaming jasmine tea warmed my body. At first I had disliked tea, as I wasn't used to refined beverages like the ones Hanari prepared, but after a while I started enjoying the taste and state of peace the tea brought me.

"Artemis, are you sure you're supposed to be here?" Hanari murmured meanwhile she sipped her own tea.

I shrugged languidly, shifting in my seat slightly. "I am afraid I am ignorant in that matter. Instruction is over, and students may do as they please. I believe visiting family can be an acceptable excuse."

Hanari hummed in agreement. "Well, I'm not complaining in having you over. My Sunday was incredibly dull. I was expecting a visit of my newest granddaughter. What happened?"

I felt my face contort into one of annoyance and relayed the story of Airi, meanwhile I explained my first few days in the Academy to Hanari. Instead of criticizing the girl, she laughed at my experience. After I finished my story, she was eager in meeting Airi and Sachi. I, on the other hand, would not let Airi five kilometers close to Hanari. Either they will form some kind of animosity to each other (contrary to what my adamant _grandmother_ thinks) or they will create some sort of alliance and make my life an irritating mess.

Hanari chuckled quietly after our discussion. "Oh, Art-chan, even if you don't mean to, your actions can be quite endearing. I believe I won't be able to expect you to come over on Sundays?"

"Possibly not," I muttered. "If it isn't Ichihara-chan and her sparring, then it might be my remedial kanji classes. Apparently my kanji is so horrible it's not even legible."

Hanari's closed eyes opened slightly and she looked to her side, muttering something incoherent.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm just happy that you found an instructor for something I was entirely unhelpful with."

I waved my hands in front of me. "Oh, no! You were really helpful, baasan. I probably would have been considered extremely uneducated if it weren't for you."

"Really? Well that is– Oh, what a most wonderful surprise!" she suddenly exclaimed, her eyes actually opening more than the usual. "Welcome home, Shiro-kun!"

Shiro-kun? I turned around to see a boy come in. But what a peculiar boy! He had short spiky white hair and turquoise eyes. He was a shinigami, I could tell by his robes, but he had a white... cape? It's the first time I had seen it, but it made him stand out compared to the other shinigami I had met. _Shiro-kun _seemed really annoyed to have been referred as such, but the scowl left his face when Hanari hugged him. In fact, I hadn't noticed it, but Hanari was even _shorter _than the white-haired boy.

He muttered something unintelligible to Hanari, to which she only chuckled. He turned and narrowed his eyes at me, and the room felt a _bit _colder. "Who is that?"

"That is your little sister, Costa Artemis. Say hi to your big brother, Artemis-chan!"

I turned and walked in front of him, towering over the boy. "Are you sure he's the big brother? Shouldn't he be the litt– Why is it so cold in here?" I was now shivering. The room had dropped a few degrees in temperature, which were completely unexplainable.

"Don't call me short! I am much older than you!" he yelled in anger. "Besides, respect your superiors!"

I looked at Hanari for comfort. "Who is he?" I asked quietly, hoping that the irritable boy wouldn't hear me, but I think he only grew more disgruntled.

"Hitsugaya-taichou," he muttered at me, his jade eyes cold and narrowed. My eyes widened, not entirely happy with the prospect of being added to a captain's black list. I had barely met him and he was already glaring daggers at me!

Hanari looked amused but somewhat worried. "Toshiro-kun is one of my grandkids. Remember those stories I told–"

"What _stories_, baachan?" he asked in a low, dangerous voice.

Her lidded eyes had a mischievous glint to them. "The embarrassing ones, of course."

The room dropped a few more degrees, but Hanari seemed mostly unaffected. I sent the captain a desperate look and shook my head widely at him. He must be the embodiment of my idea of a nightmare... "Do not worry, Hitsugaya-taichou, she's teasing you."

"Art-chan, you were supposed to go along with it!" I restrained myself from glaring at the old woman. Not only could she freeze hell over with one of her looks (something her grandson had inherited), but I think the captain wouldn't appreciate my rudeness. Hanari continued, "Such a pleasant surprise, Shiro-kun! Let me go make you some tea. Sit down, make yourself comfortable!" She went outside, as she preferred to make her tea with the fresh air, and left the captain alone with me.

I wasn't entirely comfortable with him there, yet I still sat down in my original spot in the floorboard and started enjoying my tea, which had gone slightly cold. His presence unnerved me slightly, mainly for the power he possessed. Even though my mind knew that his power was unreal and quite impossible, my body still trembled over the power he emitted... Reiatsu, was it called? More implausible was that I could _feel _his power, that I could feel his reiatsu. How does one even do that? I can't even feel humidity sometimes; I can only observe the frizziness it caused to my hair and the sweat in my body as a result. If I could barely feel something as tangible as humidity, how could I feel something as... as preposterous as _power itself?_

I was starting to have certain suspicions over this whole ordeal, in fact. I sensed something was amiss with my mind. I had never proved to be an imaginative person when it comes to situations like the one I was facing. My true imagination lied elsewhere, in a world I had not touched since the shooting. I believe if I can't get my hands on a piano right now my reasoning will crumble slowly with my sanity.

Ah, music, the only true passion I can say I have. Languages, school, people, the _world_... nothing compares, except awareness. I feel grateful to my parents for forcing me to learn such wonderful instrument twelve years ago. Without some sort of release from certain stress called life, continuing would be harsh, even for me. Music was a way I kept myself healthy. After all, _mens sana in corpore sano_.*

Yet another reason why break free from the clutches of sleep: my music. And my sanity, of course.

"How did you meet my baachan?" Frankly, I had completely forgotten about the presence of the captain. He was sitting in front of me, his arms crossed and his eyes closed.

The question did not surprise me. I felt like if I was intruding in something precious. If I had known that he was going to visit, I would have not come today. I finished the rest of my tea and sighed contently, the jasmine working wonders I did not know imaginary jasmine was capable of. "A year ago. I was having trouble communicating with people, so she decided to help me. She continued visiting me every Sunday at the dojo, and sometimes I would come here to keep her company."

"Hmm..."

"If you don't mind my asking, Hitsugaya-taichou... What division do you watch over?"

He opened an eye slightly, as if gauging my intentions. "Tenth," he answered finally, closing his eye. We stayed in a less tense silence, and this time I did not forget his presence. I was waiting for Hanari to get back so that I could make some excuse that required me going back to Shino Academy. I think that Hitsugaya and Hanari would appreciate that. "Are you training to become a shinigami?"

I was somewhat shocked that he would ask me that question, but I answered nevertheless. "First year, Class Four."

He raised a white eyebrow, but his eyes still remained closed. "Class Four? Why so lowly?"

"Not all of us are geniuses, Hitsugaya-taichou," I answered quietly, albeit somewhat coldly. It is safe to deduce that the boy in front of me was a genius if he had made it to captain status... Knowledge above all else... Knowledge above all else... All else is naught without being cognizant of what all else is. My eyes fell shut as I repeated my mantra, not about to be humiliated by the short shinigami.

"That is not what I meant," he replied placidly. "Class Four is simply an average class for average people."

I was tempted to open my eyes and scrutinize the captain but I resisted. "And what makes you think I'm not average?"

"Average people don't usually meet a taichou so early. There must be a reason why you met my baasan, a predestined reason."

I again resisted the urge to scoff. "It is not called fate, Hitsugaya-taichou, it is called coincidence. Many different actions, both deeds I could control and deeds I had no jurisdiction over, that brought Hanari-baasan and me together. So many different probabilities, yet we still are here. One mustn't overanalyze such coincidences."

I heard the captain shift slightly. "Regardless of your beliefs over the matter, classes are not kept like that every single year. A negligent First Class student may be demoted, meanwhile a hardworking one talented enough can be promoted. What I've been trying to say this whole time is that you shouldn't expect greatness if you are average among the average. Do you really want to be another unnamed shinigami walking through the barracks of your division?"

This time I felt the need to gaze at the captain. "Yet again, what makes you think I won't be satisfied in being one of the numbers and not names should casualties arise?"

He averted his gaze and opted to look outside through window. "If you are in terms with such thought, then, even though I just met you, I can safely surmise that you're a fool."

Beatrice Artemis da Costa had been called a fool before, but never had Beatrice Artemis da Costa's knowledge had been called foolish. I was heavily tempted to return the insult, to point out his own unawareness, but so would only prove his insult true to both him and me. "I shall be a happy fool, then."

He turned to me and narrowed his eyes slightly, as if the idea of me agreeing with his insult dissatisfied him. "You have been under the tutelage of my baasan for around a year. My baasan does not mingle with people that aspire to do nothing with their lives. If she heard you, she would be extremely dissatisfied, and for her sake as well as my own, she can't be disappointed. Aspire to something great, otherwise I will never acknowledge the bond you share with my baasan and never accept you as a comrade, less something as remotely close as my family." His gaze turned even colder, and the room dropped a few degrees. "I might not even allow you to call her your own grandmother."

I shivered slightly, the room's temperature and the cold warning causing the action. Not allow me to have one of the two people I consider family in this lonely place? If that happens, then what will become of my sanity? I could also not deny the fact that Hitsugaya had some say in the relationship I shared with Hanari. I could sense some truth in his words as well, but the meaning eluded me for now. Why would Hanari be so interested in my success? What did she have to gain? For now, I could only count on Hitsugaya's analyzation over the matter.

However, why should I aim to become great when I already had a goal? That goal is to return to my family. My _real _family. These people, although I had become fond of them, meant nothing when it came to reality.

Hitsugaya's point was null.

"Oh, I hope you had a wonderful bonding time," Hanari said as she burst in the room carrying a tray with three cups of gyokuro tea. I mentally groaned at the sight; I hadn't planned in disappointing Hanari today.

I stood up from my seat and helped her set the tray in the floor. She sat down next to her grandson, but I didn't follow suit. Instead I bowed at the two people in front of me. I smiled slightly at Hanari's confused gaze when I raised my head. "I'm sorry, but I cannot join you for another cup of tea, Hanari-san. I promised Ichihara-chan that we would practice kendo today." Although that was a lie I had fabricated at the moment, I was actually planning in finding the girl so that we could spar. I don't exactly know why, but I had this desire to fight after my conversation with Histsugaya. Fight or vent off, whichever.

She looked surprised that I used the formal honorific on her, and she looked slightly hurt, but otherwise made no comment. The captain was somewhat surprised, maybe a little disappointed, but I did not know. "Well, I wouldn't want to keep Ichihara-san waiting any longer."

My smile widened. "Yes, enjoy your evening, Hitsugaya-taichou... Hanari-baasan." This time, Hanari warmly smiled, and although the captain's eyes were still somewhat cold, his posture seemed less tense. I had no doubt it would be hard for the captain to accept me, but a clench in my chest told me that, real or not, I wanted to... be a part of them.

* * *

><p><em>Friday, April 30th 1999<em>

I tentatively knocked the door. "Aizen-taichou, this is Costa Artemis. I'm reporting here for my... lesson."

"Come in," a commanding yet polite voice responded from the other side.

I slid the door open and walked inside. The room was even larger than Kira's, with rows and rows stretching until the base floor, which had a large board and a desk in it. A brown-haired man that wore glasses was grading papers. He looked up and smiled at me, his brown orbs friendly. Immediately I felt at ease, my last meeting with a captain leaving a bitter memory. I walked all the way downstairs and sat in the frontmost row, the middle section.

He stood up and walked to my seat, his haori (as Sachi had told me) flowing gracefully with him. He was closer to me than what I expected a captain to be with an Academy student. In fact, his nearness reminded me of the rest of the instructors in the academy. "Kira-fukutaichou told me about your special situation, Costa-san. Tell me, how old are you?"

"Nineteen," I replied, counting the year I had spent in Soul Society when I gave my answer.

He seemed pleasantly surprised. "Well, that explains quite a lot. You're indeed very young in coming here so early." Young? I was almost an adult! In fact, I felt quite old being a First year and being nineteen, but I kept that comment to myself. "I teach a popular calligraphy class here in Shino, however very few times I have tutored people, and even less someone that young. I congratulate you for making it so early."

"I don't believe I deserve such praise, Aizen-taichou. I was trained before coming here, and I believe that is the reason for me being accepted. Compared to the other students, I am not as talented as you think me to be." The question of where this sudden humbleness had come from would haunt me for a while, surely.

Aizen chuckled quietly and sat down in his desk again. However, his questions hadn't finished coming. "For someone so young, your vocabulary is surprising. Can you tell me why this is, Costa-san?"

I physically winced at his observation. In the whole year I had been here, no one had ever noticed my manner of speaking. Either all of the people here were slower than reality, or Aizen was sharper than most. After all, no one except Aizen and maybe Mihane knew my age. Such answer could not be given easily, as my expanded vocabulary came from the languages I knew. I was positive that not many people in Rukongai spoke a tongue other than Japanese. How to explain without lying? "My parents speak a wide variety of languages. I merely inherited some of their lexicon through conversing with them."

The captain was now working on his papers, impeding me from seeing his face and his motives. "You are fortunate in having such educated parents. I have a troubling thought with your answers, though, Costa-san: Such educated parents could not teach you kanji?"

I resisted gasping in surprise. What a man! He... He managed to find holes in my story so quickly! I was left gaping at him like a dumbass meanwhile he gracefully continued with his papers. "W... W-We're not Japanese." I prayed... No, I _hoped _that he wouldn't have the need to ask more questions.

Aizen stopped his writing and deliberately set his brush back in the ink well. The Fifth Division captain looked at me, his brown eyes still kind but triumphant. "And how would you know that you're not Japanese? After all, none of us remember our origins."

I shivered, feeling the goosebumps appear on my skin. I had just been in his presence for less than ten minutes, and he had already figured everything out. How... This man exceeded my thirst for knowledge. He was masterful in getting the information he wanted. He knew how to use that knowledge correctly and efficiently. Aizen was... He was everything I wanted to be... "The truth is–"

He raised his hand, stopping me. "The truth is useless unless one knows how to properly explain it. So far, let my theories be that: theories."

"Why go through all that when you don't even want to know what really happened?" I demanded, exasperation in my voice. I did not even bother apologizing for my rudeness; it was warranted.

"Because truth limits the possibilities, Costa-san. The truth limits the explanations. What is the fun of being handed everything when you can... imagine so many scenarios?" Aizen... He is beyond my reach. "Say, Costa-san, I shall help you."

"Help me?" I echoed, completely confused. Why would that man help me? Did he want to extend his kindness to me?

He nodded and walked towards me again, a little bit closer than what he used to be standing. "It would be troublesome if someone else where to find out of your little secret. Eventually, people will start catching up with the little bits of information you unconsciously give. You cannot hide forever, after all. That is why I'll try to make you more like a normal Academy student with a credible background. You'll be able to hide as long as you want to, as long as you deem necessary to. Do not worry, Costa-san... I do this from the kindness of my heart and have no ulterior motive."

Gratefulness filled me. Such a wonderful person... I could feel that he could do something because of his power, and I had no doubts with what he said was true. Mihane had said it before, and now Aizen had confirmed it: I needed to keep it as a confidential matter. However, I still had one main concern. "Aizen-taichou... Why is it imperative that this secret remains undisclosed?"

He chuckled quietly and turned to the board. He got a piece of chalk and started writing characters with careful, orderly strokes. Thinking that our conversation was over, I immediately started to write my notes in romaji. "I'm afraid I cannot answer your question, Costa-san."

Frustrated, I again demanded, "Why?"

"Because what is the point of giving you the truth when you haven't even begun searching for it?"

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><p>* <em>Mens sana in corpore sano <em>translates to a healthy mind in a healthy body. A sound mind in a sound body is a more common translation.

**So we finally see Hitsugaya and Aizen, keeping true to my word, at least from the Hitsugaya character title. It was unnerving writing them both, as I can't picture them in said situations, but I hope I kept them in character. These two will become main, Aizen temporarily (for obvious reasons). **

**I revealed many things to you guys this chapter: the year this is taking place, Hanari's relationships, Kira being Izuru Kira, gave away Art's only artistic talent, and more insight in Art's morals. I should introduce more mysteries to make up for the revelations... I keed... or do I?**

**And yes, both Kira and Aizen actually teach in Shino Academy in canon. Apparently, Aizen's calligraphy class is so popular that people have to sit in the hallways or some sort to be in hearing range of his lesson.**

**The Academy snippets idea came to me recently. I have no idea if other stories have done this, but I personally like the idea. Most of the days will be pretty average, but I'll have a mix of average days and bizarre ones. This snippet style should only last the Academy days, but depending on the success I might keep it longer.**

**Note: for the sake of the story, Aizen's betrayal will not occur in 2001 A.D. That also means that Bleach plot will not start in 2001 either. I hope this can be overlooked.**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are widely appreciated.**


	5. All You Need is a Big Push

**Since it's summer break, and I still don't have my books and my AP bio summer assignment still makes me faint, I've decided to write the next chapter. **

**Oh, yes, special appearance in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even Artemis.**

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><p><em>Thursday, May 6, 1999<em>

The Zanjutsu training room was almost empty, even if it was still day out. The only people in it were Airi, Sachi, two older students, and me. We were the only ones interested in practicing our Zanjutsu, Hakuda, and Hoho for more than three hours after all. I deemed all of this practicing unnecessary, but both Airi and Sachi had other motives in regards to their training.

"Don't you think we should call it a day?" I said aloud, my wooden sword resting on my shoulders.

Both Sachi and Airi immediately stopped clashing swords and shook their heads at me, Airi with a horrified face to go with it. "Of course not, Artemis-chan!" the brown-eyed girl exclaimed. "Why do you ask? Don't you want to get better?"

Suddenly the other battle of the older students seemed more interesting. "Not really," I admitted. Hitsugaya's warning rang faintly in my mind, but I ignored it.

"Then why do you want to become a shinigami if you don't want to be strong?" Sachi asked, her eyebrows raised.

If I could answer with the truth, I would say that all of this was because of certain glasses-wearing shinigami that ordered me to join Shino just to be closer to her, or not reveal my "secret" to Rukongai. Also, if I wanted to be even more descriptive, I would add in the fact that I had a suspicion that my physical health here was heavily related to my real health in the world, and if I got stronger in this place, so would my real body. But truth is overrated and unbelievable these days, so I opted for a shrug and a more plausible response: "I don't know. Maybe I was bored?"

Both girls sighed simultaneously and shook their heads. "Costa-chan, if we didn't like you as we do, we wouldn't force you to do this. But Airi-chan and I plan to ascend to Class One, and we don't want to leave you behind."

I raised an eyebrow. "Class One? Isn't that the class for the really promising students?"

Sachi nodded. "Only the people that are not good are in classes four and five."

"We're in Class Four because I thought that it would be too much work for nothing if we were to be in Class One. But a week ago Sachi-chan and I received a really inspirational speech from Ise-fukutaichou in our history class, and I realized that hard work really pays off." I was surprised in the amount of enthusiasm both of my friends –if I could call them that– had taken. That zeal to become better is seldom seen among people my age. After all, how are we supposed to know to what we should dedicate our time if we're just young people? However, if not knowing is bad, not being prepared is even worse. I was abashed because Airi, a person I had considered as dull and average, had found this eagerness before I had, and was acting on said eagerness.

Before joining their cause, I had one more question. "Why are you so keen in making me practice with you two?"

Both girls looked quizzically at me. "Well, Costa-chan, we want you to come to Class One with us. We wouldn't be together anymore if you stayed in Class Four..."

To say I was touched was an understatement. Yes, I had friends in high school, and we were good friends. My best friend, Janice, and I had known each other since middle school, even. But the difference between these two girls and Janice was that they... wanted to be with me every step of the way, apparently, even if we had met just two weeks ago. Janice had pursued advanced classes in science and math, meanwhile I was content in my mastery of languages and my musical talent. We were close friends, yet we had nothing in common. I didn't want to invite Janice to my world, and she didn't want me in hers. But these two... "Is that so?" I murmured, not wanting them to see my gratefulness. "Well, I guess you're right. I wouldn't want to be the slow person out of us three."

Airi grinned and hugged me. If I hadn't been sweaty as well, I would've pushed her roughly away from me. "Yes! Artemis-chan won't be lazy for once!"

"Lazy?"

Sachi giggled quietly. "Costa-chan, I've noticed that you barely do your homework. I'm sure you have really low scores in all of your written classes."

Ah, that... Well old habits die hard. Besides what's the point of doing the homework if the teacher's won't be able to read it? I only do my work when the teacher allows us to use romaji. "I can't promise that, Ichihara-chan."

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><p><em>Tuesday, May 17, 1999<em>

Wooden swords crashed loudly. Sweat was traveling down my face and I had light bruises in my skin, arms especially. My opponent, the Kannogi boy, was fairing better, even sporting a mocking smirk. Our rivalry had taken many forms, but seeing who was better at kendo was most important. I concede the fact that if it hadn't been for Kannogi Takahiro I would have never taken Airi's words at heart and strived to get better. Now we competed in every single subject that we shared, and because we were in the same class, we had many lessons together.

I blocked an downwards strike from Kannogi. He had considerable strength behind the attack, as my arms started shaking with effort, my wooden sword trembling in my hands as well. Kannogi's smirk widened, and he quickly left the contact with my sword and immediately jabbed. I jumped to the side, mentally grateful for my swiftness and sharp reflexes.

I was about to go for a slash when Ozawa, our Zanjutsu teacher, stopped us. "Enough, Kannogi, Costa." At the sound of his voice, I immediately stopped my assault and moved away from my opponent. "Good job, Kannogi. Your parents will be pleased to know that you have improved since you came here." Improved? Does that mean that he had received instruction before coming to Shino? No wonder he was almost impossible to defeat! "Costa, your grace disappoints and your sword wobbles too much. On the other hand, your speed and reflexes continue to be the best in the class."

We bowed to our teacher and then we did the customary bow to our opponent, then we went to sit down around the circle that was the combat grounds. Another pair of students stood up and started sparring, meanwhile I sat down close to Sachi and Airi. "You did good, Costa-chan."

I sighed. "I guess so. Kannogi is a hard opponent, after all."

"But remember when you were always matched with Sanjo-san?" Airi said, her nose scrunching slightly. "It's a good thing that we have been practicing more, now you even get to go against Kannogi-sama!" I refrained from showing my disgust in the formal way Airi addressed the Kannogi boy. He hadn't done absolutely anything in order to earn that respect, yet he was still denominated like that among his peers. All he had done was to be born in that family and there you go, immediate reverence.

We continued watching the rest of the class spar. Zanjutsu and Kido were three-hour long classes that we had at the end of the days. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday were Kido, meanwhile Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday were from Zanjutsu. Hakuda and Hoho were two hours long instead, and Hakuda had the same pattern as Zanjutsu, meanwhile Hoho took place the same days as Kido. The other two hours were for "normal" classes, which were the first ones in the morning and varied depending on the day that I barely paid attention to. After Sachi and Airi had convinced me to practice even more, I used those two classes to catch up in my sleep.

The shinigami here were not taught anything that I deemed important. Sure, there were math and science classes, as well as an English class, but they were _electives_ and had a bad reputation. The common belief was that those who did not excel in the arts of a shinigami usually took these classes to even their scores. Most of these students would then form part of the Twelfth Division, and apparently most shinigami seemed to shiver when that division was mentioned, reason currently unknown to me. I have digressed a little, however. Going back, I would have taken these classes had I been allowed to choose my electives, just to see what the Shino Academy, an "afterlife" school, taught the students. Out of all the obligatory lessons that Shino offered, battle tactics was my favorite, reason obvious to me.

"Costa-chan, it's time to go," Sachi said. I immediately snapped out of my thoughts and noticed her outstretched hand, which I accepted. Everyone was already filing out of the dojo and going on their own ways, since the day was done. We slowly walked to the exit, Airi filling the silence with talk on trivial things I had never really paid attention to. My mind drifted to thoughts that really had nothing to do with Airi's talk.

I had spent quite some time in this place, almost a year. Does this mean that time goes by differently in my mind than in the real world? That seems to make sense, given that time is relative to the person and more of a biological effect on the person. However, in the hypothetical fact that a year _has _passed outside of my mind, why am I still alive? Do my parents really hang on to that sliver of hope that one day I will go on? Or is it just too painful to disconnect–

"Artemis-san?" a familiar voice broke me from my thoughts. I stopped in my tracks and turned, seeing the face of Shirogane Mihane in front of me. Her shinigami clothing made her stand out in the multitude of students wandering around the green area, but she did not seem to mind. "Well, I finally found you!" she realized with a smile.

"Who is that, Artemis-chan?" Airi whispered from my side. I turned and saw Sachi's unspoken questions as well.

"Shirogane Mihane," I answered both of them meanwhile I used this to address her. "Nice to see you again, Mihane-san. These last few days I had thought you had forgotten about me."

She looked at me in mock horror. "How can you believe that, Artemis-san? I would never forget such _interesting _person such as yourself!"

Airi and Sachi giggled at my sides. They both bowed respectfully to their superior and introduced themselves. Sachi, however, then continued, "As much as we would like to stay, Shirogane-san, Airi-chan and I have to go study for an important test." She smiled widely at both of us and dragged Airi to our dormitory, explicitly ignoring her protests of staying to "find more about the life of a shinigami".

Mihane had a wry smile on her face. "You have interesting friends, Artemis-san," she noted, the amusement clear in her voice.

"I won't comment on that," I replied, chuckling slightly. "Anyway, Mihane-san, what brings you here? Reminiscing the past?" I moved to her and we started walking side by side.

"No, I just wanted to see how my charge was doing."

I frowned slightly at her comment. "I apologize for any inconvenience my presence my do to you, Mind-san."

Now it was her turn to scowl. "You still believe in that rubbish, Artemis-san?"

I averted my gaze and looked straight ahead. "It has neither been disproved nor proved, so for now I get to choose in what to believe." Besides, not believing was the better option of the two.

"I researched atheism, and in the limited knowledge I have, that comment proves to be very uneducated." I winced slightly at her words, not knowing how to respond to her true statement. "But we stray from the topic. The other main reason for my visit is to see how you're doing in Shino. Is everything alright?"

My mind looked for the better way to delicately tell Mihane the news. "Aizen-taichou knows of my condition," I stated, quite bluntly may I add. Oh, well, I was never one for much subtlety.

The shinigami lost her footing and tripped slightly. "WHAT?" she demanded, her eyes slightly crazed. A few students looked our way in confusion, but my cold glare deviated their attention. "What do you mean 'Aizen-taichou knows of my condition', ha?" she rushed in a hushed whisper.

"I meant what I said," I stated, my voice the same level it had always been, maybe even a bit quieter than usual. "The man figured it out in only one day. Do not worry, Mihane-san... He has offered to help me in my situation." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her disbelief and thus elaborated. "You see, thanks to Aizen-taichou, I am actually fifty-nine years old. I come from District 56 in East Rukongai, and my parents were killed in our trek to District 3 in West Rukongai, Hokutan. Unfortunately, I suffer from this disability called dyslexia, and with my poor artistic talent, I am thus unsuccessful in the learning and application of kanji."

Mihane looked really surprised. When Aizen told me this, though, I wasn't astonished. Such man could come up with a detailed story in a matter of seconds. He had told me the minor points of the story on my first lesson, and he expanded on this, until I knew by heart the name of my "parents", childhood memories and experiences, friends, and other trivial things that might be part of my fake life. And as I had already deduced, no one would test me on my information since no one would go to District 56, and due to my low profile, there were few to none people interested in my past.

"That is... complicated," Mihane finally said after a few minutes of silence. I noted that we had left Shino and we were now walking in Seireitei. An Academy student walking with a shinigami was not a peculiar sight, as well. "But I think Aizen-taichou did help in what was needed," she murmured.

"He is helping me with my kanji as well. Apparently I cannot graduate if I do not know how to write. My dyslexia will lower the requirements, but I still cannot look like a buffoon."

"Doesn't this mean you have to act like you can't read properly?"

I slouched slightly and bit out, "It's not like it is different than what it currently is..."

The shinigami giggled at my side. "Oh, Artemis-san, do not worry. I remember where you're from. In fact, I'm quite surprised that you can speak and understand Japanese so well."

My mouth moved slightly upwards. "I catch on pretty quick. Anyway, Mihane-san, my writing impediments are not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about. There is this matter of... practicing. My Kido skills are abysmal, and although Ichihara-chan has offered to tutor me, I know I am beyond her ability to help me. Are you any good at Kido?"

Mihane grinned and started walking with more confidence. "Kido is my specialty, Artemis-san. You'll learn in no time with me, since I am a ninth-seat!"

"'Ninth-seat'?" I repeated. What in the world?

Seeing my confused expression, Mihane continued, "In a Division, the shinigami are ranked by power. Seated shinigami are usually the most powerful ones in a division, going from twenty to captain level. There can be more than one shinigami in seats twenty through six, but the number varies depending on the captain. Usually, there is only one shinigami from the fifth seat onwards, but there are special cases."

Seated shinigami... Interesting. That means that Mihane was the ninth strongest person in her division. Aizen had briefly mentioned something like that, actually. I was about to ask Mihane in what division she was, when a question I had been dying to ask was remembered. "Mihane-san..." I murmured, my voice even quieter than usual. She turned to me and urged me to finish. My gaze went from her face to the road ahead. "Why... why is it so important that no one finds out?"

The ninth-seat was silent. I was tempted to turn and scrutinize her, but then she would have seen just how desperately I wanted the information. I shook my head slightly in disappointment. I turned to her and was about to say my farewell when she spoke, "Not only is it abnormal for one to remember their past life after a year in Soul Society, but this hasn't happened in a long time. The last time this occurred was when–"

"I do not appreciate my strolls interrupted by subordinates of mine who do not do what they are supposed to, Shirogane Mihane," a deep, monotone voice interrupted us. Mihane's face drained of color and we both faced the newcomer, stopping immediately. He was a captain, I could tell by the white haori draped over his shoulders. He had dark gray eyes and flowing black hair. What made him stand out from the other captains was an expensive-looking scarf and glove-things that he wore.

"K-Kuchiki-taichou!" Mihane yelped next to me. The man in front of my kept his same expression: no anger or scorn evident, just eyes that could freeze hell. "I... I..."

"I am sorry, Kuchiki-taichou. Mihane-san told me of her duties but I simply ignored her and did as I wished. Trust me when I say she reminded me of her duty every step we took." I resisted snapping at the woman beside me so she would stop gaping like a fish. If she continued, then the captain would undoubtedly find out that I was lying. However, I held my posture, not looking into the eyes of Kuchiki, but instead staring at the floor in front of us.

I knew that the man hadn't bought my lie, since his eyes looked even colder and he slightly glared at me. I resisted the urge to fidget in my discomfort, and toyed with the idea of simply admitting that I was lying. "Very well, if what this Academy student says is true, then you have exactly until I return to the division to deliver the paperwork you were instructed to. By the time I return, I might not feel so forgiving, Shirogane Mihane." With that the man continued walking past us, not even giving us a single glance back.

When he was far away enough, Mihane sighed in relief next to me. "Thank you, Artemis-san. Kuchiki-taichou is very strict, and he takes everything seriously. Speaking of which, go to the Kido training center on Saturday at six in the afternoon. Be prepared!" It took me some processing to figure out what the woman had said, since she spoke in a rush. As soon as she finished, she disappeared from sight, just like the last time we had seen each other.

I heaved a tired sigh as I started walking back to the Academy.

Wait... Where the hell was Shino?

...Ugh, _not again._

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><p><strong>Oh Artemis, you're such a fail.<strong>

**I would like to refer to this chapter as a filler, and I'm somewhat unhappy with it. Only one important thing happened, and that was about it... I've decided to not cover _every _single detail of her training, but she will be training a fair bit lemme tell you. After all, you don't suddenly get better in just one day of training.**

**Which brings me to something I was thinking on a while ago: how the hell did Ichigo get so powerful? I mean, in swordplay, he can tie with freaking Kenpachi after a few days of training. What the hell was that? The dude's older than a country, maybe, and Ichigo just goes in and saves the day. And then after three days he gets Bankai and ties with Byakuya. But I guess being the main character of your own story has its perks.**

**Also, yes, Mihane Shirogane is a canon character. She is also ninth seat of the sixth division. You can check out her profile in the Bleach wiki, but if you're too lazy to do that I'll reveal her trivial things with time. Since she is a character that only appears in omake chapters, her personality is much to the reader, so I'll do my best in that.**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are widely accepted.**


	6. The Balance of Life

**I am somewhat disappointed with this chapter. Not because of the content, no, but because it had to be rewritten. The second half is much different than what I had previously written, which frustrated me to no end.**

**Anyway, special thanks to tellie, Devonne, marc, and Melibells for reviewing, they always brighten my day. Also, the feedback I received for my AN before made me smile.**

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><p><em>Wednesday, June 2, 1999<em>

"Art-kun, if this is all they've taught you in the Academy, then I am very disappointed."

What possessed me to accept a spar with Fuji will forever be a mystery to me. I knew, understood, and accepted the fact that the small, wrinkly, bald man was a slave driver. Hanari and I had decided to visit him, because I hadn't seen him in a long time, and the first thing he did when he saw me was attack me. Such tact he had to greet his student that way.

"Fujishima-sensei, with all due respect, I am the best in my class."

My comment was replied with an uppercut, which I hastily parried by crossing my arms. He then aimed a kick to the left side of my waist that I stopped by grabbing his foot with my left hand. Before he could take advantage of the weaker block of my right hand, I kicked his stomach, making him slide backwards just enough for me to avoid his next assault.

Sensei grunted slightly before rushing to me. "I won't stop till you're the best in your year... And by judging by your performance, you're far from achieving that."

I felt my eyes narrow and my thoughts clear slightly. Insulting my capabilities now? Who does he think he is? I have practiced for more than sixty hours in my Hakuda and Hoho combined in the short time we had left. I have improved under the instruction of my new teachers and the sparring of different opponents with different styles. Sure, sixty hours were the amount of time I used to practice with him in just one week when I was under his tutelage, but that was enough time to _change_.

The room felt slightly heavier, the air harder to breathe. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my hair started to frizz, as well as Hanari's. My head cleared even more and I prepared to show him how much I had improved.

Feeling particularly bold, I aimed a high kick to his neck. If he was surprised that I had aimed such kick he did not show it, as he caught my foot with ease. Smirking slightly, I used my other leg to kick his solar plexus, using the hand he had on my other foot for support. Feeling him lose his balance slightly, I twisted my body slightly to put more force in my right leg, the one on his neck, to bring him down. The wobble I had created from hitting his center of gravity helped greatly, as he fell to the wooden floor with no trouble. I removed my foot from his neck and offered my hand to help him up. He accepted it and we did the customary bow after a spar.

My victorious smile wouldn't disappear.

"Fusa," he called, turning to regard the woman watching the spar from the sidelines, "I think that our little Art-kun gets to go on to level two."

Said smile immediately left. "_Level two_?" I asked incredulously. Wow, my voice resembled a normal level right there.

Hanari giggled as she approached us. "Why of course, Artemis-chan. Masashi here has been fighting with you in level one for a year. You still have to get clear all of them to be in the same level as him."

"How many are there?" I muttered, crossing my arms.

Fuji laughed and turned to me, his lids opening for a while to see light brown eyes. "Well, I don't really know. No one has ever pushed me to the extreme just yet. You did marvelously, Art-kun. I am proud of you."

It was a good thing that Hanari and Fuji then turned to talk to each other, because if not they would have seen something I rather them not see: my eyes watered slightly. I frowned to myself, and inconspicuously wiped my eyes. Luckily, I did not feel my eyes moisten again. I heaved a small sigh of relief, but now my mind was in turmoil.

Why did that happen?

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><p><em>Friday, June 4, 1999<em>

I knocked the door, my taps much more confident than the first time I had been here. "It's Costa, Aizen-taichou." A few seconds passed before he responded, allowing my entrance. I slid the door open and went to my seat, the same one I had sat for the past five lessons. "Good afternoon, Aizen-taichou. I hope you have been having a good day."

The captain smiled warmly. "Good afternoon, Costa-san. Yes, my day has been good, I wish the same has happened with yours." I nodded, silently affirming and thanking his comment. "Now we must get to business. Did you do the exercises I told you to do?"

I flipped my notebook open and showed him the characters he had asked me. The captain rose from his seat and walked over to me, taking the notebook and studying it. He returned my work to me and asked, "Can you please write those in here for me?" Aizen unrolled a scroll he had carried and I started with his tasks, trying my best to remember the order of the strokes. The man occasionally corrected me, but otherwise I could already notice the vast improvement I had made. From having him comment in almost every character, now there were even times when he applauded me on how the characters were legible.

Yes, if my characters were decipherable, then that required praise.

"Costa-san, you never did tell me what languages you spoke and why. Mind enlightening me?" In my surprise, I turned to him. He had dragged his chair to sit down in front of me. He still remained the same distance a teacher usually would, but sitting somehow seemed different in my book.

My hesitance was understandable to me, since I had no idea why the man wanted such information. Regardless, I answered, "Well, the language I speak best is English, but my native tongue is Italian. My mother hailed from Spain, so I learned Spanish, and because I was situated in northern Italy, I also learned German. When I moved to United States, I learned English by force and became interested in Latin, because they were the roots of my first two languages. I started learning Japanese after a family trip we made to Japan when I was ten, roughly nine years ago." My explanation came out sounding awkward to me, as explaining this to the captain was something I last expected. But telling him a little bit more about me was the best I could do, after all he had done for me.

"Ah, that explains why it is really hard for you to use our system, then," he noted, a hand under his chin, nodding to himself. Well, of course he would have a reason to ask... Aizen was not one to ask without meaning. "You have spent your whole life with a different alphabet."

I turned my gaze from him and continued practicing with the characters he had asked me to write. "I catch on pretty quick, though; I have a good ear. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same with my writing. That is why I steered away from Hebrew and Arabic."

Aizen chuckled slightly. "Well, you're improving, Costa-san, and that is what matters. Pardon my asking, but have you thought what division you would like to be?"

My mouth faintly moved downwards. I stopped my work and regarded the man in front of me. His eyes were curious and expectant, clearly not anticipating that I would refuse in answering.

And he was right. "I haven't really thought about that, Aizen-taichou. But for now I think I would be most comfortable in the Fifth Division." Of course, I wouldn't mind being in Mihane's division, but I did not know in what division she was.

The captain smiled warmly and nodded in approval. "You are right in your assumption, Costa-san. You still have around five years to make your choice, since you send your applications in the middle of your last year, but it is always good to think ahead of the possibilities." Yes, thinking ahead was something Aizen excelled at, and he was commendable for that. He stood up and took his chair back to his desk, sat down, and started working on some papers. "I apologize for taking your time, Costa-san. Please continue in your work."

I did as he told me, focusing and making sure my grip on the brush was adequate. I redid the characters over and over again, and practiced mixing the characters with others I had learned previously in order to make small sentences. The result was acceptable, because when I showed my work to the captain, he looked at me approvingly and smiled. "Good job, Costa-san."

"All thanks to you, Aizen-taichou," I replied with a small bow.

He chuckled quietly, his laugh warm and amused. "Now, it does not matter how much the teacher teaches, but how the student listens. Give yourself praise as well."

I smiled slightly, happy with the compliment. I turned to my left and noticed something that had escaped my mind. "Aizen-taichou... You don't have notes for me today?"

"Ah, yes, that is what I wanted to inform you. I unfortunately cannot come next week due to an influx of paperwork I have predicted, so I will ask someone else in my stead. Don't worry, the person will be just as capable as I am, because I plan on asking a member of the Calligraphy Club."

"...You do not have to worry, Aizen-taichou. I could use the time to practice by myself what I have learned." Besides, I didn't want anyone but Aizen teach me how to properly write kanji.

The captain looked pensive for a moment before answering, "Very well, lessons next week will be cancelled. However, if for some reason I manage to finish my paperwork, I will tell Kira-fukutaichou to relay my message."

I walked over to my table to pack my things. When I finished I turned to bow to the man who had selflessly offered his time to teach me. "Thank you, Aizen-taichou. Have a nice day."

"You too, Costa-san... You too..."

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><p><em>Saturday, June 12, 1999<em>

One of the few things I had taken a liking in doing in my free time was laying in the grass and sunbathing. My skin was considerably bronzed compared to the porcelain skin people had in here, but I saw no harm in getting tanner.

Instead of enjoying time under the sun, I was supposed to be practicing Bakudo. Mihane was running late, and we had agreed that if she didn't show up in ten minutes from our designated time, then I was to start going over last week's exercise without her. Unfortunately, even with Mihane's instruction, I had not progressed enough in my Kido training. Such reality dampened my spirits, yes, and made practicing something strenuous for me.

The wind blew slightly to my right, and when I turned I saw the panting form of Shirogane Mihane.

"Ha... ha... Sorry I made you wait, Artemis-san, but my taichou had a lot of paperwork to deliver."

I refrained from laughing at Mihane's disheveled state. I had offered her many times to not show up whenever she couldn't, as I could practice Kido without her around (a lie). But the stubborn woman never failed to show up, adding to my growing fondness for her. "Well, your taichou sure is–"

"Ruthless? A slave-believer? Harsh? Humorless?" she breathlessly stated. Well, disappearing and appearing out of nowhere sure took the breath out of her.

"–demanding... But those will do as well," I finished with a slight laugh. Mihane mock glared at me, but then also grinned. I stood up and we both started walking together to the Kido training center. "How did you know where I was?"

"Your reiatsu... ever since we met I knew you had reiryoku with you, more so than usual. I think you'll learn how to read reiatsu early in your second year." We went inside of the large Japanese-styled building, the one used to practice one of the most dangerous shinigami arts, at least for me. Mihane found a spot to practice in and she crossed her arms. "What were you doing before I came here?"

"Well, I was practicing Bakudo." Of course, that was a lie, but I wanted to make her feel like she was not wasting her time.

"Really?" Mihane said in a mischievous voice. Uh oh? She put her hands in her hips and a smirk appeared on her face. "Show me."

I inwardly grimaced but nevertheless prepared myself. I pointed my palm at Mihane and murmured, "Bakudo Number 1: Sai!" I felt a slight pain in my arms as they became tangled. I lost my balance and yelped loudly as I fell headfirst to the wooden floor. My brain thumped inside my head and nose felt slightly crooked. I groaned and turned to Mihane's sandaled feet. "Ow..." I moaned.

"Artemis-san! Did that hurt?"

Feeling bitter at her comment, I replied, "No, I just said 'ow' for no reason." Oddly, the woman giggled at my sarcasm. The nerve of that woman... "Help me."

"No."

"...Please?"

The woman chuckled. "No, I refuse to help you because you need to break free of your own Kido, Artemis-san."

My frown was hidden by the wooden floors. "Release," I muttered. Nothing happened. Sighing in frustration, something I had taken quite a liking in doing, I repeated the command over and over again. The room felt slightly heavier and I felt my hair starting to frizz. "_Release_." The invisible force holding my arms disappeared and my the limbs fell limp to the floor. I used mostly my legs to stand up, as my arms were numb and I could feel them clicking in a few parts. Mihane was giggling at my struggle all the time, and I felt that her captain hadn't made her work hard enough. "I believe I should stop casting Kido spells, Mihane-san."

"Didn't you tell me that you wished to be in Class One?" I nodded in agreement. "You won't be able to do that if you can't perform the first Bakudo!"

I averted my gaze to the ground, the scuffle of my feet much more interesting than Mihane's brown eyes. "It does not matter... Making it to Class One, I mean. A waste of time."

The room felt heavier, and I felt a force choking me slightly. "If you continue like this, Artemis-san, then I assure you that _you will never wake up_."

Never... I took a step back and whimpered slightly. My eyes were wide as saucers and my heartbeat was erratic. So I was right all this time? If my guide said so... What an imbecile I was. Believing in something yet not following through with it, not doing anything about it. My body started shaking and I looked to look at Mihane in the eye. She looked surprised, and in meeting my gaze, her demeanor changed into one of... Sadness? Guilt?

"I don't believe that you're in a dream, Artemis-san, but _you _do, and if you don't do anything about it... Then what are you doing here?"

"M-Mihane-san..." I whispered. My fist clenched until my knuckles were white. "You're... right... Thank you..."

The woman strained her ears to hear me, I noticed, but a rueful smile then lit her face. "Control that reiatsu of yours, Artemis-san. It felt like if something was frying in here." She giggled slightly, trying to dissipate the tension that had been built between us. Luckily, by now we were the only people left in the training room. After all, who wanted to practice till late on a Saturday night? "Let's start by controlling that reiryoku of yours. We will have to start by controlling that so that you can perform some Kido. If not, people will be more afraid of you than they already are and you might end up hurting someone."

"People are afraid of me?" Is that why only Sachi and Airi approached me and Kannogi always had something to pick with me?

"You're not a very observant person, are you, Artemis-san?"

* * *

><p><em>Monday, July 19, 1999<em>

A shriek woke me from my sleep. My head hit the vacant bed above me and I got my wooden katana, disregarding the throbbing in my skull. I aimed the sword at the offender, at the time not processing my thoughts enough to know that such action would prove futile if someone dangerous wanted to attack me. I felt extreme annoyance in finding out that Airi had woken me up and was running around the room, thinking out loud in gibberish. "Ichihara Airi, what are you doing?" I intoned.

She let out a small, "Eek!" The small girl continued running around our tiny dormitory, forming weird stances. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Sachi-chan! I'm sorry, Art-chan! But today is our Hakuda final!"

I sighed, not ready to deal with this right now. I got out of bed, went to get my clothes and locked myself in the bathroom, which was closest to my bed. Frankly, the Hakuda final wasn't the one I was dreading. I already knew that I needed to work on my offense and defense, but my speed was impeccable. Hoho and Hakuda were the ones that might land me a spot in Class One. I had improved my Zanjutsu greatly, but I still had much to work on, since my grace and power left much to expect.

No, what had me shivering was the Kido test. No matter how much I tried, how much Mihane and I spent time in, I could never successfully perform the first Bakudo. Even my tutor thought it was ridiculous how hard Kido had proven to me. With the Sixth Division's ninth seat's instruction, I was successfully able to contain my reiatsu and control to a certain extent my reiryoku, but my Kido still laid in the negatives. Mihane had admitted after much probing that my Kido score could singlehandedly impede me from moving to Class Two at most. Coupled with the mortifying fact that my kanji was barely legible without Aizen around, I was guaranteed a Class Five.

Something I most certainly did not look forward to.

Airi did not have to worry about this. She was above average in Zanjutsu, lacked somewhat in Hakuda, was very efficient in Kido, and she was good in Hoho. She was at least to be promoted to at least Class Two. She was stressing too much about Hakuda, since I could slightly feel her reiatsu pouring out, but seeing how she was adamant in achieving Class One, I could understand her distress.

I opened the bathroom door and went to get my wooden katana, strapping it to my back. I went to sit in my bed, still slightly dazed, watching the small girl's long brown hair move with each stance she made.

From the other side of the room, Sachi got out of bed and climbed down the ladder sluggishly. Her normally bright blue eyes were tired and even she looked slightly annoyed at our roommate. Of course, she had nothing to worry about, the girl was very talented in almost everything she tried at. She had problems with her speed, yes, but she made for that fact with her talent in Zanjutsu, Hakuda, and limited skill in Kido. She also was very intelligent in all of our written classes, even able to explain to me things out of my vast knowledge. Out of the three of us, she was the only one guaranteed to move to Class One._ "_Airi-chan, you'll do just fine, there's nothing to worry about."

"You really think so?" she questioned, going over the last stance.

Well, Sachi _was _the only one that could effectively comfort Airi when she was feeling down. I proved to be the motivation. "Yes,_ even _Artemis-san thinks so. If not, she wouldn't feel so cranky right now."

I hummed in accord and stood up, stretching. "I agree. But, Airi-san, you need to relax. Your stances are a little too rigid and this will prevent fluid movement to your next stance, forsaking your speed." I continued stretching my limbs in the floor meanwhile I looked up to see my friend's expression.

Airi pouted and nodded. Taking my criticism to heart, her shoulders loosened and I noticed a semi-calm look in her face. Smiling in satisfaction, I laid in bed meanwhile my two roommates took turns in going to our bathroom.

So far, I had thought on the different ways I could make up for my Kido and writing classes. The instructors would not be impressed with my unnatural amount of reiryoku, Mihane had told me, since I could not put it to good use. So that was out of question. They would not be able to grade my vast knowledge because I could not show it, and I believe they would probably not make an exception for me. There goes another possibility...

Both of my roommates were ready in front of me, both with different levels of confidence. I got out of bed and we left our room, making sure to lock it. I had no personal objects, since I was fairly new to this whole Soul Society place, but I knew that both Airi and Sachi had some expensive items with them.

The Zanjutsu training hall was full with all of the first years. There were people I had never seen walking around the Academy, but most of them were familiar faces. The end of term exams were taken together so that all of us could be graded individually meanwhile taking into consideration the other performances, according to my sensei in Kido, Momotani. The only exceptions to this were the written classes.

So far, there were one hundred eighty-two students in the first year, a sharp contrast of the seventy-six of the sixth year students. That meant that there were to be ninety-one that I would have to watch. Previously, I would have been irked at having to waste so much time, but now I found that I could learn much from other people.

Spar number seventy-three was between Saigo Midori and Costa Artemis. With the silent encouragement of my two friends that still needed to go, I stood up and went to the white circle, the place our match would take. Midori, a girl shorter than me by a few inches, would parry blows with me in a minute or so. Her dull green eyes were determined in winning the fight, but I knew I wouldn't let her.

We each bowed to our three examiners and then to each other. The rules were simple: any form of Hakuda went, and the first one to leave the circle lost the match. We needed to stop if our examiners asked us to, regardless of how the fight was going.

"Begin," one of the assessor's strong voice rang in the silent room.

Midori immediately rushed to meet my awaiting form.

* * *

><p><strong>Sometimes I feel bad that for the situations I put the poor girl in, but then the feeling goes away. After all, there needs to be a balance between the good things and bad.<strong>

**For the number of shinigami graduates, if we divide if by fifteen (Gotei 13, Kido Corps, and Onmitsukido) we get roughly about five new recruits if they're divided equally. I thought about this: shinigami live very long lives, and if we get new recruits every year, those numbers start growing. So far I estimate around two hundred members in each division. Also, as for the applications go, I read some brochures saying on how academy students actually choose their division at first. I think that you can still be transferred around, but I'll see that when I get there.**

**Also, the Shino Academy follows the Japan educational system (as far as my research has taken me). There are three terms, and after each term there is a small break. Which means that there will be a small break after all of this is done.**

**Have any of you guys been keeping in touch with the Bleach manga? Do you remember the shinigami seen with Isshin and Urahara and something about destroying Ichigo's future? Gosh I want to find out so bad who that shinigami is. I have this feeling it's Karin, but then again, I don't really remember her in as a shinigami... And when Ichigo regains his powers... I'm extremely curious at what is going to happen. After all, I don't think Aizen would go down so easily. Besides, I think I read somewhere that the manga is barely halfway done, so Tite Kubo said it'll probably run for another ten years or so. But who knows..**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are greatly appreciated.**


	7. Close Enough

**Ah, it is nice to be back here again. I felt good and brought a very familiar face halfway into the chapter, I hope you like him! Oh, and some fighting as well, now don't I deserve some love? xD Just kidding, I do this with or without the love.**

**Thanks to Melina Hites, marc, and tellie for reviewing. Also a shout out to those who added this story to their favorites and alerts. It makes me happy~ to know that people read this.**

* * *

><p>The girl launched at me, aiming a punch to my face. Midori's speed was commendable, but similarly to me, she lacked power. Unfortunately for her, I had been sparring with Fuji for quite a long time, so this speed was nothing compared to the old man. I stopped her punch with my hand, and before surprise could even register in her face, I grabbed her wrist with my other hand and raised her into the air. It was barely a second later in which I quickly turned my body and slammed her against the floor.<p>

Almost everyone around me shifted and started looking around, sure that the battle had ended. I, however, wasn't convinced, but I used this time to quickly tighten my ponytail, ready for the girl to stand up. That is why I showed no wonder when the girl suddenly stood up and continued her assault, since I knew that she was too powerful to be defeated that way. I had previously planned in letting her continue to attack me meanwhile I simply dodged and watched her tire, but I had to be mindful of the limited space I had. Besides, I still had no knowledge if her stamina exceeded mine or not.

She continued attacking me, aiming powerful punches to vital areas, meanwhile I attempted to dodge most of them meanwhile moving around the circle, using the space I had. By now I had surmised that she had more endurance than what I had previously expected. If I tried to match her style to win this fight, I would definitely lose, even if I was more powerful than her and had more experience. Mindful of not taking any chances, I purposely let her drive me to one of the corners of the circle. A smirk etched in her face, the first sign of satisfaction she had showed in the round.

"Not fighting back now, eh?" she taunted me in a slightly low-pitched voice. I duly noticed that she needed to work on her psychological tactics in battle, since she did not anger me in the least, but that was up to the examiners to comment.

I simply shrugged as I ducked a sloppy blow to my face. I inwardly smirked; good, she was now overconfident. Using my peripheral vision, I looked and saw that if I took two more steps back, I would officially step outside the circle. She attempted to kick my stomach, thinking that it was the final blow, but I simply jumped on her lower leg, using some reiryoku to achieve this, but mostly relying on my agility since my control of my reiryoku was still unsatisfactory. It took me milliseconds to balance on the thinner surface before I somersaulted over her head and landed lightly on my feet. Midori didn't even have the time to turn before I roughly kicked her in the back, causing her to lose balance and take a few steps forward to regain her equilibrium.

Midori turned with an enraged look in her face and readied to attack me. "End of match," an examiner interrupted, his beady brown eyes stern. "Costa Artemis wins."

My opponent was astonished and looked at her feet. Indeed, more than half of her body was out of the circle, meanwhile my whole form was still inside. Without further ado, we both went back to the middle of the circle and bowed to each other. The customary applause rang in the room, but I noticed it was more scattered than usual.

I took the privilege of swiftly observing Midori's features. She looked disappointed in herself, no doubt confident she would win, but not as crestfallen as other people had looked when they lost. She was a worthy opponent, though, and I was sure I would see more of her.

"That was..." Airi began with an awed, hushed voice as soon as I sat down next to my two friends.

Sachi chuckled before answering for her, "Amazing. We thought you were going to lose, Artemis-san."

My mouth curled upwards in an amused smile. "I needed to use strategy; Saigo-san was a hard opponent after all."

"Not something Art-chan can't handle!" Airi cheered quietly.

The examiners kept on calling out names of other students, and impressive battles took place. Airi's spar took place five matches after mine. She took my advice at heart and relaxed, her steps now more fluid and graceful. However, it only took me a couple of hits to know that Airi's opponent was a Class Two, and she did not stand a chance against him.

She returned to her seat with a thoughtful look, which caused some surprise in not only me but Sachi as well. She sat down and did not talk, lost in her own world. Before either of us could ask her something, Sachi was called to the circle.

Her opponent was a fellow classmate. She was good, yes, but she stood no chance against Sachi. In fact, I wondered why Sachi was even in Class Four with us. Perhaps there was something wrong with the reiryoku assessors? Unto the fight, Sachi easily pushed the girl outside of the white circle with a series of kicks and punches and garnered a good amount of applause when both of them took their seats.

The matches ended in a short amount of time afterwards. Since the Hakuda final took the whole day, we had no more classes and were free to do as we wished. The three of us left the Zanjutsu training hall without looking back.

"Say, let's go eat some dango!" Airi offered to us, not at all sullen for her loss. I had heard Hanari mention dango before, but I never had to luck to taste it. Seeing both of us nod, she continued, "I know this great place in North Rukongai! LET'S GO!"

* * *

><p><em>Thursday, July 22, 1999<em>

I cringed when a fellow classmate of mine successfully performed Bakudo number 4: Hainawa at the shinigami who was acting like the guinea pig. Since we did not have many spells under our mastery, the Shino Academy requested an unseated shinigami from one of the Divisions so that we could show our spells on him without actually initiating combat. It was a safe choice, since all of us were only taught and instructed to use Bakudo. The minimum requirement to pass the exam was to perform Sai, or Restraint, but most of the people in my year, especially classes one and two, performed higher-powered Bakudo spells.

I had a wonderful week until now. My Hoho was flawless, and I was sharing the title as the fastest in our year with a Class One. I heard from someone that they had the impression that we would achieve shunpo before we graduated. I must admit that the thought left me slightly giddy, since I would be able to chase after Mihane whenever she left me.

Unfortunately, I had lost my Zanjutsu match. It was to be expected, though: I had been matched against a Class One. However I had noticed the satisfaction in my sensei's face when I had gone back to my seat. After all, I had shown less hesitation when I acted and my grace in Hakuda had slowly emerged in my Zanjutsu style. To keep matters short, this week had gone better than what I had expected.

Well, until now.

"Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and then claw out your own throat!"

My face lit with a rare show of jealousy when Airi successfully demonstrated her Bakudo number 9: Geki. The shinigami was surprised when my friend glowed in a red light and drew the correct symbols in the air, then was rendered immobile by Airi's spell. She then bowed to the examiners and returned to her seat.

Five more people went, four of them showing they had mastered Sai. Too soon, way too soon, was now my turn to walk in front of the shinigami. I saw that most of my classmates, the ones who shared Kido class with me, cringed noticeably when I finished bowing to my examiners. I felt my eyes narrow slightly at this; yes, there was no way I could pass Kido. Mihane had taken care of teaching me the incantations of the Bakudo until number 9: Horin, or Disintegrating Circle. However we both knew this was useless, since it did not matter what Bakudo I tried, it would always end up backfiring on me.

I pointed my index and middle finger at the shinigami. Mihane had corrected my stance a long time ago, saying that using the palm would cause the spell to go wrong. Even with this correct stance, I could still not perform the simple spell. "Bakudo number 1: Sai," I muttered.

To say I was surprised when my hands did not tangle would be an understatement. Gazing at the fallen shinigami in front of me, I could not help but want to jump in victory. However, when I turned and saw my classmates around me, a sense of trepidation filled me when _all _of the spectators were under the Bakudo Restrain.

_Shit_.

Everyone was struggling against the invisible force tying them. The shinigami and examiners had been strong enough to break the spell, but even they showed they had some difficulty in doing so. I prevented from sighing as my reiatsu flared slightly, preparing to release all of them. My hair frizzed slightly and my body tingled. If I hadn't gotten used to it, I would have felt uncomfortable in the feeling. "Release," I said with a rueful sigh.

There goes my promotion. It was even worse than what I had expected.

My classmates started complaining loudly, demanding to know what had happened. Ignoring their whining, I scraped the remains of my dignity and bowed deeply to the examiners, letting them now how guilty I felt. I walked away and sat next to my friends. My face must have said it all as they did not question me.

The testing continued awkwardly. My body shook slightly in foreboding. I did not know whether anyone would take my mistake as an attack to higher-positioned beings. I'm sure my Kido instructor would kindly explain my situation, but never had I performed a spell without it hurting my person instead of someone else. If I didn't know what happened firsthand, I would judge and say that I had attacked my fellow students.

The testing finished and we all filed out. The students around me made sure to keep their distance from me. Airi and Sachi were the only ones that completely understood, seeing my struggles in the art of Kido, but I could easily see the doubt in their eyes.

"Let's not talk about it, shall we?" I commanded, my voice even quieter than usual. They were moving to Class One, and I was the only one staying behind.

Airi and Sachi nodded in unison. "Want to come eat with us?" Sachi offered.

"No, thank you, Sachi-san. I'm going to visit someone now. Enjoy yourselves," I murmured, dismissing myself with a small smile. I left the two girls and walked to outside the grand gate separating Shino from Seireitei. Knowing my way after several times of getting lost, I easily got to the West Gate and left to the First District of West Rukongai.

My Academy uniform got quite a few stares, but I ignored most of them. I got out of the main road and entered one of the greenest areas of the First District. It is here were I finally saw the small shack that was Hanari's abode. I knocked on the shoji door before I heard a voice grant me entrance.

"Baasan..." I whispered as I saw her sitting down with her grandson, the small white-haired boy. "Ah, I see I am interrupting. Forgive me." I whirled around and almost closed the door when someone interrupted me.

"Where are you going, Artemis?" Hanari questioned. "I have tea prepared for you." I turned and could not hide the shock in my face. She only had a warm smile to offer. "I always know when you're going to visit, now come sit. Toshiro here is out of things to say."

"That is because you don't let me talk, baachan!" the little captain grumbled.

Hanari waved off Hitsugaya's comment. "Now sit, the tea I brewed is getting cold."

Without having a word in the matter, I went up the stairs in the small elevated portion of Hanari's house and sat in between Hitsugaya and Hanari, so that it the captain and the old woman were across each other and I sat so that the three of us formed a small triangle.

The warm tea cooled my nerves. I hadn't realized how tense my shoulders were until I sipped my tea. Ah, jasmine... delicious.

"Toshiro here was telling me that your reiatsu is all over the place, Art-chan," Hanari finally said after a few minutes of enjoyable silence. My eyes widened and I almost choked on my tea. Seemingly ignoring me, the old woman continued, "Is there something bothering you?"

I resisted the urge to glare at the captain. So they knew of my arrival already because of the tattletale little boy. There truly were no secrets when around a spiritual-aware being. Nevertheless, I answered, "Today I took my Kido end of term exam... It did not go well."

The boy snorted. "How can you fail the first end of term exam? It's just the first Bakudo."

"Shut it, little boy."

"Who did you call little boy, useless girl?" We both glared fiercely at each other, the room going slightly cold and my body starting to tingle along with additional frizz of my hair.

Hanari sighed, seemingly unaffected by our behavior, even though this was the second time we saw each other. "Calm down, children."

"Who are you calling children?" we both demanded at the same time to the old woman, our eyes wide with indignation and holding our tea cups with too much force.

She slightly opened her eyes and a dangerous look crossed her face. I noticed that both the captain and I shivered simultaneously and visibly calmed down. "Your grandmother is calling you children, and with reason. Now, Artemis, why do you think you did bad?"

The white-haired captain smirked and put his tea down before crossing his arms, waiting to hear my story. I scowled at him and then turned my gaze to the tea I was holding, the yellow liquid bearing my reflection. "I... My spell backfired on _everyone_," I mumbled.

"What? Artemis-chan, speak up. I can't hear you."

The yellow liquid reflected my frown. Some strands of the hair that was tied in my ponytail fell to my side. "My spell backfired on _everyone_," I repeated, more confident.

"Who exactly is _everyone_?" the captain questioned in a tone with underlying amusement.

"The two hundred thirty-six students of first year plus the three examiners and shinigami." Hitsugaya shook his head in repressed mirth. "The only two good things I can see from this is that I hit my mark and the spell did not backfire on me."

I raised my head to meet the lidded eyes of Hanari. Using my peripheral vision, I could see that the short shinigami had his eyes closed and his lips were slightly curled up. "Well, I'm sure the examiners will focus on the impressive feat of attacking every single student, right?"

"It surely shows the control I have over my reiryoku," I commented bitterly.

Hanari sipped her jasmine tea. "Well, we can't be good in everything we try, can we? Sometimes we have to train even harder to make up for our faults. Besides, I've seen you battle Masashi and you must be one of the best in your class. Surely this won't affect if you can get into Class One."

I rubbed my temple. "Shouldn't have an effect on, yes, but remember that my kanji is horrible. I won't be able to pass the written exams."

"Can't you talk that with Aizen-taichou?" Hanari offered.

"Aizen-taichou?" Hitsugaya finally said, but did not open his eyes.

"Yes, Artemis-chan receives help from Aizen-taichou with her kanji. The man has been very helpful, yes, but it hasn't been enough to teach Artemis everything." This was not the second time I wished to invent a time machine so I could tell my eleven-year-old self to learn kanji and not just romaji.

He nodded in understanding, but offered no further comment. Instead, I went to answer Hanari's question, "Aizen-taichou has already talked with the teachers, but I'm still unsure if they will pay attention to him."

"Why wouldn't they? Aizen-taichou is a very respected taichou among the Gotei 13 and inspires respect. Your logic fails here. Simply do your written test in romaji," Hitsugaya grumbled, still not opening his eyes.

Romaji...? Ah, well, I was still far away from being knowledgeable, and I guess that these bouts of stupidity were a way of making sure I was more humble. "Well, if I score impressively, then I think I can move to Class One, even with the Kido fiasco." The problem I could see with this was that I had been so sure that my tests would be unable to be scored that I hadn't taken the time to study.

Well, I was wrong...

"Now that is my Artemis, standing up after such humiliating failure."

I sighed and my shoulders drooped slightly. "No use in putting salt in fresh wounds, Hanari-baasan."

The old woman laughed and took the cups from both the captain and me. "I'll go prepare some more tea. Both of you, catch up," she ordered, and I stared incredulously at her retreating back. By now I had figured out that the old woman did this to force the brat captain and I to socialize.

A minute or two after Hanari left, Hitsugaya spoke, "So you finally took my advice and decided to aim for Class One."

"I figured out my priorities," I replied smoothly. "Besides, I found the correct motivation."

"You mean me?" he asked disbelievingly.

I scoffed. "Of course not. Kannogi Takahiro, a rival, was the one that pushed. You just planted the seed of doubt, a _tiny _seed of doubt."

The captain opened his eyes to openly glare at me. "Why you... How dare you disrespect your–"

"What makes you think I said anything to disrespect you?"

"You emphasized _tiny_!"

"Now you're just being paranoid, Hitsugaya-_taichou_."

A vein popped in his forehead and the room turned colder. "Costa Artemis..." he trailed off, not knowing with what to insult me. I knew I was walking on dangerous waters the moment I insulted his lack of height, but I needed to get even with the boy.

"What is it, Hitsugaya Toshiro?" I replied in the same manner he had said my name.

The captain reigned in the remains of his composure and sighed. "Nothing. Just nothing..."

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, July 25, 1999<em>

"Art-chan..." a voice quietly called.

"Ugh, go away," I grumbled, clutching my bed sheets and turning away from the girl's voice.

"Art-chan~!" she called in a sing-song.

"Airi-chan, I think you should leave Artemis-san alone." I liked what that voice was saying.

I could _feel _the girl pout. "But our scores are here. I'm sure Artemis-san would like to know how she–" Ichihara Airi was cut off when I suddenly woke up and hit myself with the vacant bunk bed on top of me.

"The scores?" I whispered.

The short girl held a paper in front of me, with my name cleanly written in kanji. I scrambled to her and snatched the paper from her, ignoring the giggle from the girl at my antics.

_Costa Artemis: Class Four Year One_

_Grading Scale: 1-10_

_Haiku: 3*_

_Battle Tactics: 9_

_Shinigami History: 6_

_Codes and Regulations: 4*_

_Philosophy: 9_

_Theoretical Kido: 9_

_Shinigami Duties: 7_

_Living World Knowledge: 10_

_Zanjutsu: Costa Artemis showed surprising prowess against her much more adept opponent. For the class, she had a mark of 8, but we believe that she is wasting her talent in Class Four, for the below average Academy students. Like any other student, if she does not adapt to the rigorous Zanjutsu training in Class One, then she will be demoted to Class Two effective immediately._

_End of term exam grade: 7_

_Hakuda: Costa Artemis showed something that is rarely seen in her age: tactics. Although she lacks in strength and we could notice her defensive capabilities were insufficient, she made up for that with her reflexes and speed. She made a simple plan and executed it correctly, meanwhile showing the correct amount of talent to let the audience know that it was no fluke._

_End of term exam grade: 9_

_Hoho: She shows expertise and is extremely fast and graceful, a sharp contrast of her previous handing in Zanjutsu. She is bound to be one of the first ones to be able to perform shunpo when it is taught. Her running techniques are almost flawless. The thing that can be asked to improve is her stamina, as she tired quickly and if she had been able to not tire so fast, she would not be sharing her title as fastest with someone else._

_End of term exam grade: 10_

_Kido: In contrast to her Theoretical Kido exam, Costa Artemis fails to meet the expectations given to her after her show in the other Shinigami Arts. She unwillingly attacked _all _of her classmates _and _examiners, showing the lack of control in Kido. Such thing is highly dangerous for everyone and Costa Artemis herself.**_

_End of term exam grade: - _

_Final: If Costa Artemis had been on time and taken the entrance exam with everyone else, she would have been able to get a spot among the Class One students. Since the numbers have reduced and there are seats available, we have decided to promote Costa Artemis to Class One. _

_New Class: **ONE**_

_Please look at note regarding Kido._

_*Needs to repeat this class._

_**Although Costa Artemis will take Kido class with the other class one students, she will take a Remedial Kido Class and Remedial Reiryoku Control Class: Level 4 in order to help her catch up_ _with her classmates and correctly dominate her unnatural amount reiryoku. If all this fails, then the Academy student in question will not be able to graduate her first year_.

"By the look on your face, I guess that you made it to Class One," Sachi commented. My eyes snapped to her to see the happy smile on her face.

"What do you say by 'you'? Did you two not make it?" I asked in disbelief.

Sachi shook her head. "I made it, but I can't say that Airi-chan did..."

Airi pouted and crossed her arms. "I made Class Two, but I'm not sad. I know I have to work harder to match Sachi-chan and Art-chan."

My gaze went back to the ONE in my paper. Somehow, even with the two classes I had failed and all the two remedial classes that tarnished my pride, I still felt stronger and a step closer to my goal.

A step closer to waking up.

* * *

><p><strong>So here comes my big personal dilemma. If I make Artemis weak and powerless, then I won't be able to make the plot interesting and she will be annoying. If I make her too powerful and talented, then the plot will be predictable and annoying. Since this is a story about growth, the rate in which the growth happens is unsatisfactory if she is too weak. And I plan in letting her meet cannon characters, and usually cannon characters don't socialize with weak people. Hence the dilemma to make the story believable with some sense of special. Gosh I sometimes hate writing OC characters. Even when I try not to, they turn somewhat Mary-Sue in my head.<strong>

**Yes, Art got away with writing in romaji due to her made-up dyslexia, and did not suffer in her scores for it. It took her a while to figure that one out, for someone who prides herself in intelligence, knowledge, blah blah blah, and she still failed two classes. *Facepalm.**

**I noticed that it took me five chapters to write a term. Multiply that times three to get a year we get fifteen chapters. Multiply that times the six years of Shino education we get ninety. So ninety chapters of Academy education... Yeah, even I can't stay focused on something for so long. I'm sorry, but the story will move a tiny bit faster. The first term is to explain almost everything that is going on. I'm sure once all the formalities are done, we can focus on the truly important, growth-filled days. That means: No more filler! And then finally Byakuya can justify why he is on the main characters list, along with Renji (because he just HAS to be there, and I love him) and all of the other ones we love. Slowly, but surely, of course.**

**All of you out there must be Byakuya or Histugaya fans, right? Then here comes a question I came across when I was looking through Byakuya fandom: there are A LOT of ByaRuki and ByaRen fics. Like, A LOT, even more than ByaHisa. I have no problem with this, it's up to the author and reader. I understand the yaoi and all, but I still can't imagine ByaRuki that much. I know it's not incest, since they're not siblings by birth, and that Rukia looks like Hisana so much, but still... I guess that the idea that Rukia calls Byakuya Niisama so much kinda sticks to you. Are you guys ByaRuki fans or something? **


	8. Believing and Knowing

**Ah, here goes the next chapter.**

**I would like to thank tellie, FreeSoul1990, and Melibells for reviewing and to those who added this story to their favorites or alerts. **

**Warning: This chapter starts with a heavy talk about the afterlife from Art's point of view. If for some reason you don't want to read on her atheist ideology, then please skip some of the first day or read at your own discretion.**

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><p><em>Thursday, July 29, 1999<em>

"Mihane-san, with all due respect, this was not the way I expected to spend my vacation."

The shinigami turned to me from our seat behind the counter, a teasing smile on her face. "You looked bored, so I decided to help you out!"

My eye twitched. "By giving me a job in Gin Tonbo?"

Mihane's smile now turned slightly nervous. "Well, we are paying you some Kan, Artemis-san. And didn't you tell me that you owed me that day during our lessons?"

I took a calming breath. "I did _not _mean it like that, Mihane-san. Giving me a job during my much awaited break is nothing short but cruel!"

She waved a hand at my comment. "I think it's very educational, Artemis-san. We get more bonding time, you get to meet some shinigami, _and _earn Kan. I think that it is I who is doing you a favor."

On cue, two shinigami came inside the store and started browsing. They tried not to cringe on the prices, but that in itself was impossible. I could never see myself affording a pair of those so-coveted sunglasses. The cheapest ones are 20,000 Kan, but at least I have to admit that they were stylish.

My Kido tutor was the co-owner of this store. Along with her father, former Sixth Division lieutenant Shirogane Ginjiro, she ran this store and would take control of it whenever he had to go run some errands, like right now. Apparently they had never thought about hiring help, but since Mihane personally knew me and they both paid me lower than minimum wage, Ginjiro had agreed to employ me.

I could see why Mihane needed the help. I had just been in her store for barely four hours since it opened and they had sold five pairs of sunglasses. There was a tedious process that needed to be made before the sunglasses were given to the customer, making sure that they were given in pristine conditions.

The shinigami left after looking for what they wanted, leaving Mihane and me alone again.

Finally. I had been wanting to ask Mihane something, but we never had time when she was tutoring me in Kido and we had never touched the subject with crowds of people around us ever since her captain had interrupted us. I needed to find that piece of information to be able to start completing the puzzle that would wake my mind. I had deduced as much: physically, I needed the power the shinigami offered me, but mentally, I required finding out tidbits of important details regarding my coma. "Mihane-san, we never finished the conversation before your taichou interrupted us."

She looked surprised. "You mean about your situation?" I nodded. "Very well, but can I ask you a quick question first?" Hesitant nod. "Why do you believe all of this is a dream?"

I wasn't surprised that Mihane would ask something like that, since I kept bringing up that whatever happened in this place, in Soul Society, was of no concern to me as long as the problem did not hinder my mental and physical growth. She would become hurt at my comments, as if she was actually real, but shrug it off with a glint of understanding that usually annoyed me.

"Because the idea of an afterlife is too..." I struggled in finding the correct word to describe what I thought. "Living an eternity with all your family and friends, never suffering... Bathing in the almighty glory with your creator... That is what Christianity offers. Take Hinduism for example. So intricate with so many different scenarios, it really is up to the person to find their own path. You can find polytheists and atheists and monotheists in that religion, or religious tradition as some refer it. The Nirvana, the end goal of most of Indian religions, is to be free of suffering. Or Islam, in which God will judge everyone in the Day of Judgement, and those good will go to heaven and those evil perish in hell... Who is right, and who is wrong? ...Yes, I know the world I was looking for... I believe I could call this after life a... fairy tale."

"But nothing of this world could be labeled as a fairy tale, don't you think?"

I smiled and turned to my questioner. Her eyes had an predatory glint, and I knew that I would have to forsake my inquiry for now. After all, imaginary or not, I owed the woman for helping me grow. "I know, and that is why this place never stops to amuse me. It is not the afterlife most religions tell the world. Hollows, pluses, shinigami, a military, life, death... It sounds more like a second life than an afterlife."

"I don't remember my past life," Mihane murmured as she removed her glasses and placed them on the counter. Her brown eyes were had an intelligent glint to them. "To me, this is my first life and not my afterlife. You meet new people that you have no ties with and become family with them. There is strife, yes, but there is also happiness."

"_C'est la vie_..." I said quietly, remembering what my papa would say.

"You never really answered the question though, Artemis-san," Mihane pointed out, mouth curling in a smile.

I frowned slightly. "I believe, _not know_, that this is absurd. Second life, new life, afterlife, whatever we call this, still comes after our real life. Ever since I was a small child, my Nonno*, or sofu*, taught us to seek the truth. 'To know the truth in this world of lies gives the owner of the knowledge advantage over everyone else,' he used to say. So far, though, the idea of lying in a bed fighting for my life is much more plausible than the idea that all of this is real."

"Even with all the emotions and feelings involved?"

"The emotions I've felt in here are all effects by physiological processes dealt with the brain, as far as my knowledge tells me. I feel fear or joy or sadness in my dreams, so why can't I feel this now?"

"...Have you felt pain?"

My eyes narrowed. Smart girl, clever girl. There really was no dull moment with Shirogane Mihane. "I see where you're going. The autonomic system's activities evoke feelings with enough stimulus and we can infer that it can evoke feelings from pleasant or unpleasant... What I think is that these feelings come from my physical body, but you must probably believe that they come from this body I have here... I still don't know everything, Mihane-san. I'm looking for the truth as much as anyone else in my position might."

"So if I can prove that this is most definitely _not _a dream, then what will happen?"

I stayed quiet for a few minutes, not really knowing how to reply. The question had really caught me off guard, since even I did not know how to properly reply to it. "Well, I can only say that if that is the truth, which I _doubt_, then that is it and I have to accept the truth as it is." And then I'll have to spend the rest of my lifetime trying to find logical explanations to this mess.

Mihane crossed her arms and nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Now, you had a question. What was it, exactly?"

My hand made it's way up my chin and I bit the inside of my cheek. "You think that this is not a dream, so apparently this is serious..." Not that I cared, I omitted. "So what exactly am I in here?"

Mihane opened her mouth to respond–

"Yo, Mihane!" a loud, rough voice interrupted us. "'Sup! I came here ta buy my sunglasses!"

My hands clenched in my lap but I stood up with Mihane to greet our customer. He had crimson hair that was pulled up in a ponytail and a white headband covering his forehead. Out of that headband I could see some tattoos that went down through his neck had an intricate pattern. As if his appearance did not attract enough attention, he had an armband in his left arm with the kanji for number six. If my memory did not fail me, this meant that this man was the lieutenant of the Sixth Division, Mihane's Division.

"Renji... Do you always need to be so loud? We're the only ones here," Mihane said with a deadpan look, but I could see a smile trying to break through.

"Who's the little squirt?" he asked Mihane, pointing his thumb at me.

First interrupts my important question, and now he calls me a squirt? "Costa Artemis," I said quietly.

"What? Can't hear ya!"

Mihane was about to introduce me, seeing that I was getting annoyed, but I beat her to it. "I said 'Costa Artemis', you flamboyant freak," I muttered, same level of voice, but the man heard me.

"Who are you calling a freak?" he demanded. Mihane sent us both a warning glance and Renji crossed his arms. "How come I had never seen you before?" he asked, obviously becoming more civil now that the shinigami to my right was going to sell him something expensive.

"That is because she is an Academy student," Mihane answered, enjoying herself. "Artemis-san, this is Abarai Renji-fukutaichou. He is the fukutaichou of my division."

My mood has now cooled down so I managed to give the customer a small smile. "Pleased to meet you, Abarai-fukutaichou." I awkwardly bowed, since it was something I was still not completely comfortable in doing.

The redhead scrunched his nose in seeming disgust. "What's up with the formalities? Call me Renji, everyone does!"

I turned and shared a look with Mihane. She smiled and nodded and defeated, my shoulders slumped forward. "Very well, Renji. Is there anything in here that interests you?"

He grinned and pointed to a pair of sunglasses that were on display. "Get these babies ready for me, cuz I'm takin' 'em!"

"These babies" were in fact a pair of reishi telescope goggles that sold for 84,700 Kan. How the man had managed to save that much money was a mystery for me. Perhaps lieutenants were paid nicely for their service. Without needing to be told, I stood up and took my key to open the glass sliding door that was behind us. There were a wide array of Reiban-styled sunglasses, but what Renji wanted were the goggles. I carefully took them and placed them on the counter, meanwhile Mihane went behind the store to get their case, warranty, and protective products.

"That would be 84,700 Kan, Renji," I stated as I checked the goggles for any scratches.

"Discount!" I heard Mihane's voice from the back. "Chichi* always gives Renji a ten percent discount! So it's 76,230 Kan!"

"Very well, you heard her."

The lieutenant chuckled nervously. "These always cost half of my year's pay..." he said.

"Then why do you buy them?"

He shrugged. "Eh, early birthday present, I guess." He placed the some coins that were worth 10,000 and others that were worth differently.

Mihane came back and put all of the items she had countertop. "Well, Renji, let's hope that these ones last for a while. _Try _not to use them when you fight and make sure to clean them every once in a while, you know why. You can trade them in for a new pair _if _they're unsatisfactory and–"

Renji waved his hand at Mihane, a greedy look in his face meanwhile he regarded his new goggles. "Yeah, yeah, you've told me that a million times already." He grinned as he took of the white cloth he had around his forehead and replaced them with the new goggles. "Thanks a mil, Mihane and Artemis. I promise I'll take care of them. Say hi to Ginjiro-san for me!" He waved and turned, leaving the store with just the goggles.

"Should we...?" I trailed off, pointing at the products the lieutenant had left.

Mihane sadly shook her head. "It's Renji. Even if he takes them or not, they're still going to break in a month or so." She giggled and shrugged. "Oh well, more business for us."

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><p><em>Saturday, August 14, 1999<em>

A well aimed kick found itself blocked by my arm. A smug smile appeared in my face before I flip kicked Fuji in the face. However, he caught my ankle with extreme precision and a cry of surprise left my lips as he slammed me into the wooden floor.

My back, which received most of the impact, was screaming in pain, and my head thumped loudly. "Fujishima-sensei..." I managed to groan out. "Enough for today, please..."

The old man went into a strict position, with his chest puffing and his shoulders straight. "We've only trained for five hours today and you're whining. That Academy of yours surely spoils you kids too much. Perhaps I should think about letting you advertise my services if you can barely keep up."

I immediately stood up and tried to balance, a killer headache impeding me from seeing and standing properly. "No, no, we practice enough, believe me. But it's break and..."

The wrinkly man frowned. "And you think that you should rest?"

My head gave a slow, tentative nod. Although the man did help me –and if he was real I would admit to being very fond of him– he did not understand the meaning of the word rest. When I came home from the Silver Dragonfly after a long day of work around five o'clock, Fujishima would refuse to give me dinner unless we practiced for at least two hours. At first I could keep up with it, but now I could feel my body beginning to feel the excessive strain.

A pensive look overcame the man. "I have an offer for you, Art-kun. Are you willing to take it into consideration?" Oh, anything, Fuji. I'll take _anything_. "Very well, I shall cut the training hours to half of what they were–" _Sold_ "–if and only if you accept to wear weights."

"Wear weights?"

"A friend of mine sells these new things that have become somewhat popular in the living world. Simple, you wear weights on your muscles so that you are constantly practicing!" he explained excitedly.

Doesn't that take away the point of less training? "But Fujishima-sensei... Wouldn't that be considered cheating?"

"Do you want to cut down the hours or not? Good. Now, you're not allowed to take them off. Ever. Do you swear?"

Somehow I had a feeling that I had freed myself from one torture only to fall into another one. "I... swear." But I really couldn't argue with the man. He wasn't getting any younger and I wasn't getting any stronger or more patient.

The short old man's smile widened. "Good, good, wait here, I'll go get them."

"Wait... what?" He already had them?

Fuji turned and innocently smiled at me. "Well, I had been planning on giving them to you anyway, but I felt bad if I forced them on you. So I let you decide, and let me tell you, Art-kun, our minds work wonderfully!" And the old man left from the dojo into the house that he shared with me.

What a sly old man...

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><p><em>Tuesday, August 31, 1999<em>

"Costa-kun!" Ginjiro called from the back of the store.

I immediately snapped out of my daze and stood up. Such act would've been almost impossible to do a week ago, since the burning in my muscles was nothing but uncomfortable. In fact, I could not move from my futon five days after Fuji added the weights. I had to excuse myself from work, and Mihane thought that the whole situation was quite hilarious actually. Fuji had added three pounds to my sandals, ankles, thighs, upper arms, and wrists. At first, it had been nothing, the weight being slightly painful, but as the days went by... My spars with Fuji were ten times harder, and unfortunately I was no longer near as fast as I was before.

"Hai, Shirogane-sama?" I asked when I was in front of him.

"Ah, such a polite young lady, but you really need to drop that -sama. I may be your boss and all, but for now. Besides, you're my daughter's friend!" Shirogane Ginjiro was muscular man with dark brown hair and light brown eyes. He had a perpetual grin on his face, or he would always appear happy, except in the occasional time in which he would grow serious.

I frowned. People were so hard to please sometimes. "Well... What can I do for you, Shirogane-san?"

The back room was a fairly simple place with boxes and boxes of merchandise. It was a dark room, since no one usually spent time in here unless one was taking a break. There was a desk and a chair in the end of the room being illuminated by a lampshade. The desk was mostly Ginjiro's. What he did with it was currently unknown, but I guessed that Ginjiro used it to plan new styles for glasses.

Ginjiro had a happy grin and a case in his hands. "I would usually give these to Mihane, but seeing as she is in a mission in Rukongai, I'll ask you this favor."

My boss gave me the case and I eyed it. "What is this?"

"Those are one of my best sunglasses. Make sure to give them to Kuchiki-taichou personally and see his reaction!"

I raised an eyebrow. "You said Mihane-san usually does this, correct? Ano, not meaning to be rude or anything, Shirogane-san, don't you think Kuchiki-taichou has enough of these?"

He gave a hearty laugh. "Kuchiki-taichou always personally returns them. He says he doesn't want them."

"Then why continue giving them when he obviously will return them?"

"Because the fact that he always personally returns them shows how highly he thinks of me." Here his eyes softened and he said in a quiet, and slightly doleful voice, "Besides, it is the only time I have to talk to the taichou and see how my old Division is doing. Mihane sure talks sometimes, but seeing him wouldn't hurt..."

Surprised at the tone the man had taken, I decided to take them to the captain, even if the trip was a waste of time. "Alright, I shall personally give Kuchiki-taichou these."

Making sure my skull badge was pinned securely in my warm yellow yukata, I walked out of the store and left in the general direction I thought the Sixth Division was. The badge was given to all Academy students and acted as a passport to enter and leave Seireitei. Since the first time I came to Shino I was accompanied by Mihane, our gate guardian Jidanbo Ikkanzaka let us through, but now that I usually travelled alone, I needed to have the badge ready to show either the gate guardian to let me through or a shinigami that might ask what I was doing in Seireitei.

By a pure stroke of luck, finding the Sixth Division only took me approximately two hours. I had to refrain from doing a little victory dance when I entered through the tall wooden doors and into the barracks.

The first thing that greeted me was a big courtyard that was completely empty. I went around the squarish courtyard in the wooden hallways and was again greeted by no Division members. In fact, if I focused enough on my limited reiatsu training, I could only feel two strong signatures in the whole place, and that was it.

With no one to ask and not trusting my reiatsu to guide me, I walked aimlessly through the garrison. Empty dormitories, mess hall, training areas, the place was deserted. I looked around for any signs of people that I had missed when I did not notice when I bumped into someone.

I recoiled slightly but my reflexes didn't let me fall to the ground, especially since I was carrying such precious item with me.

"Artemis? What are you doing here, eh?" Renji asked, eyeing the box and me curiously. "Is that box for me? Damn, I can't believe Ginjiro-san remembered my birthday!" he exclaimed happily.

"Your birthday? Ah, happy birthday, Renji-san... I mean, Renji." Guess I won't ask him how old he is since apparently everyone here is "older than my grandfather."

He grinned and absentmindedly scratched the back of his head. "Heh, thanks. I guess that ain't for me, right?" I smiled and shook my head. "Damn... Taichou always gets nice sunglasses but he always returns them."

My attention went to his forehead, which was covered with white cloth. "Did you break yours already?" I asked incredulously.

The redhead grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, yesterday's practice was kinda rough, but it was totally worth it cuz I kicked ass, like always. But they lasted me longer than what I expected, so I don't care. Anyway, I'm gonna leave you now. Taichou gave me the rest of the day off and I'm gonna party!"

Before he left to celebrate his birthday, I had a question to ask. "Do you know anyone that can guide me to Kuchiki-taichou's office? No one's around."

"Sixth Division is having a joint practice with the Fifth Division. No one's here right now except the taichou and me. But here, go to the end of the hall and turn right. You'll find another big hall and now turn left. Then you'll find a smaller hall and keep going forward. You'll see a big door in front of it. That's Taichou's office. Got it?"

Not really, but I wasn't going to make the poor guy repeat his long sentence and I wanted to leave already. "Hai, I got it. Have a nice day, Renji." I waved back and caught his smirk.

"You bet I will. Good luck!" he called and quickly used shunpo to leave.

Such energy... he even made me think I was sleepy. Anyway, repeating the directions in my mind, I went to the end of the hall and turned right. Now, where... Let's see... Was it left or right...? I already used right so might as well use left. There! Wait a hall? Ah, a double door... Is this office the one?

I took a calming breath and knocked the door twice. "Kuchiki-taichou, this is an employee from Gin Tonbo."

There was no reply from the door for a couple of seconds. Did I get the wrong door? Not being able to feel any reiatsu from the other side, I started to turn when a faint but clear, "Come in," was heard.

Taking a calming breath again, I took a firm grip in the long handle and pushed the door open. The office was spacious, with two sofas facing each other to the right with a small table in between. The man had a personal library, as I could see from the wide array of books in the bookshelves that did the job as walls. In the end of the office was a big window, and a desk was in front of it. The desk had a pile of papers and a man sitting in front of it, dutifully working with a brush, his eyes never leaving the paperwork.

My first steps were hesitant, as the man had yet to give me a glance, but nevertheless, I was here on an errand.

"A gift from Shirogane-sama," I said as I walked closer to the working captain. "He hopes that you will enjoy it."

"Give it back to him," he replied without raising his eyes to acknowledge the gift. "I have told him many times that I do not want them."

No good. If I left with the gift, then the captain would have no reason to go to the shop and talk with Ginjiro. In fact, the main reason why my boss keeps doing this is to keep in contact with his pervious partner. My errand is not for the Sixth Division Captain to accept the gift as his own, but for him to have it in his disposal. "I am afraid I cannot do that, Kuchiki-taichou. Shirogane-sama won't be very pleased if I come back with the gift."

"Then tell him I forced you. Leave, I have work to do."

The only response I could come with that was to blink. My boss had dedicated his life for the man and this was the way he repaid him? Perhaps he was busy, that I could tell from the amount of papers he kept signing, but is it really too much to ask for a minute of his time?

...Whatever, not my problem, really. If the captain did not want it, so be it. I have no interest in the affairs of the imaginary people that have residence inside my mind. I was here for one mission only and this was certainly not it.

My advancing stopped and I slowly turned. Then again, Ginjiro was Mihane's father and I could tell they were close. As much as I didn't care, I had to admit I had the sinking suspicion that Mihane was some sort of guide meant to aid me wake up. If for some reason my relationship with her was damaged because of this, then how would I gain these shinigami powers that I needed?

I immediately turned back to face the man and walked towards him. The man must have sensed me but he was confident enough in his abilities that he still did not raise his eyes to see me. I placed the glasses' box gently in the desk and turned towards the door.

"Not following what other people tell you to do will only end in your demise. Especially if the people have more wisdom and ulterior motives than you," was his smooth reply. No trace of anger, but a very tangible coldness to his voice.

I turned to address him, because no matter what happened, I was taught that when I talked to someone I must meet the person's eyes. Surprisingly, the man had the glasses' box in his hands and was regarding me coldly but with minimal interest. "I was just following what another person told me to do, Kuchiki-taichou."

"My word stands above his."

"It depends on the point of view, Kuchiki-taichou. For something as trivial as the acceptance of a simple gift, I took the choice which was convenient to most people. In the hypothetical scenario that we were in battle and you asked me to roll on the ground, I would do it and add an extra two minutes for good measure, simply because you have more experience in the matter." I blinked and blushed slightly in embarrassment when I realized I was rambling. I bowed slightly at the man, who still had the same mask but his features were slightly amused. "Excuse me, I hope you enjoy the gift." I turned and tried to leave with as much dignity as I could, taken the fact that I had humiliated myself.

"Your name," he demanded.

I frowned slightly before turning (something that I seem to be doing too much) and bowed my head slightly. "Costa Artemis."

The captain was already focused on his work, so he did not see any of my gestures. "Well then, I will make sure to tell Ginjiro about your refusal to accept a negative for an answer and the successful treading of the waters without insulting my pride. You are dismissed."

Although I highly disliked the condescending tone in which I was treated, I did nothing about it and merely left. After all, that could be acceptable given the fact that I managed to complete my errand. Besides, having captaincy over one of the divisions in the military force of this world could cause some arrogance. Maybe he was the personification of my own admitted conceitedness when it came to my knowledge, which was vast but not broad enough for my liking.

Closing the door with an almost inaudible click, I made my way back to the Silver Dragonfly with a smirk on my face.

I just hoped I wouldn't get there after five, when the store closed, and not be able to tell Ginjiro that a visit from his old captain was pending.

Oh god_damn_, I think I pulled a muscle in there.

* * *

><p>*Sofu: A way to refer one's grandfather when not speaking with him.<p>

*Chichi: A way to refer one's father when not speaking with him.

*Nonno: Grandfather in Italian

**Alright, that was a longer chapter than usual. Phew, oh well, I put Renji in twice and Byakuya at the end. I hope I did them justice in your point of view. Oh, and I included Renji's birthday! I deserve a cookie.**

**So now we have a clash on ideologies. I hope I didn't confuse anyone in her explanations, I tried to put it as simple as possible. In fact, I invite you to read on the interesting concept of emotions and feelings. It's a complicated concept of metaphysics but fascinating nevertheless. Personally, I believe more in the term of subconscious being the metaphysical entity, but Art thinks otherwise. Oh well, it's good to learn new things. I hope that her views were interesting enough for a good read. **

**For those wondering on Art's non-beliefs I have presented (so far): She doesn't believe in the afterlife. She doesn't believe in the soul. And doesn't believe in God. But even so, she admits that these are beliefs and there is no way of _knowing _until death actually happens (may or may not have happened already, but she won't admit that).**

**Yes, this is the only chapter dedicated to her Break. School in Japan starts in September, so she'll start soon.**

**And I have decided to start my AP Bio summer assignment now and finish by halfway through July, so updates may or may not be so constant, at least until then. But give me support guys! It always helps out when there's a lot of work to do!**

**Did you read the (excuse my language) major mind-fuck they had on Bleach? I was like WTF? The hell is that guy doing? I would go cuckoo if that were me. And when is that damn filler arc gonna end? I just want it to hurry up after Byakuya's fight. After that, not really interested.**

**But here goes (a philosophical question): what's your opinion on the concept of feelings and emotions? Is it that as William James said (in 1890 though), "...we feel sorry because we cry, angry because we strike, afraid because we tremble, and not that we cry, strike or tremble because we are sorry, angry or fearful..." Or is it the other way around? After all, we have evolved enough to feel and then react.**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are greatly appreciated.**


	9. Guidance

**I admit, this one is short, but if I do say so myself the quality doesn't seem affected at all.**

**Ah, thank you for adding this story to alerts and favorites. From now on the story's updates will be _slightly _regular, so I recommend having a way to keep track of it xD**

**Anyway, I thank marc, tellie, and Abby-Flourite for reviewing!**

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><p><em>Sunday, September 5, 1999<em>

The room we had been given was the same in some aspects. It was the same size, capable of comfortably fitting four people and their belongings. The bathroom was at the left uppermost corner of the room, and it had a toilet, bathtub, and sink. A big window was situated right across the door, with a drawer right in front of it. The most prominent differences between this room and my old room went past location. Instead of having a bed, now I had a futon. Instead of having two roommates, I just had one.

Sachi sat across me, a sad smile etched in her face. "It sure is different without Airi-chan."

Yes, although I would never admit it, the girl had managed to become close enough to me to notice her absence. "Indeed, Sachi-san. Airi-san did fill the space with words, even though we did not always hear them all."

"I'm sure she will be fine with her new roommates."

Since the class sizes in Class One were different from those in the other classes, the amount of roommates each one of us had was diminished. After all, the amount of students changed, but that did not mean the amount of rooms did. The Academy was aware that both Sachi and I needed new rooms and promptly put as together again. Not that I was complaining, since I didn't want to meet a new person.

"Do you think we should walk around to know where our new classes are?" she offered after a few minutes, seeing as I wasn't going to reply.

I groaned slightly as I stood up from my futon. "Sure, might as well." My schedule laid forgotten next to me, but I picked it up and looked over the piece of paper again.

Ever since Sachi had told me her schedule, I knew mine was not a regular one. Although my failed classes did not matter since I was in a different class, but I did have remedial classes that took away my electives. So instead of taking the Human History and Soul Society Environment Analysis, I had been forced to take Remedial Kido and Remedial Reiryoku Control: Level Four. I understood, though, that if I wanted to be in classes that would increase my chances of a formidable shinigami power, then I had to work hard in order to get it.

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><p><em>Monday, September 6, 1999<em>

"So you're the infamous girl that attacked her examiners?"

My shoulders slumped slightly in what I could only describe as a mixture of embarrassment and wariness. "H-Hai..."

"And who can barely control her reiatsu and reiryoku?"

"...Hai."

"And the only class one student to be taking remedial class_es_?"

Irritation made my temple twitch. "I thought you had my information presented to you, _sensei_," I said through gritted teeth, carefully emphasizing his position as a teacher instead of a criticizer.

The man let out a hearty laugh. I felt my shoulders slump in further. He had a slim build and was at least six feet tall. His eyes had been a mocking brown color, but now they appeared thoroughly amused. "Oh, your feathers get ruffled easily, Costa. Everyone has their weaknesses, don't worry. The thing is, your weakness this time is too noticeable."

"...Am I the only one taking this class?" I asked, straying his attention from my faults.

"Well, you _are _sacrificing your Class One electives for this remedial class. Let me tell you that not many Class One students need help in controlling their reiryoku, even if they are first years."

I took a deep sigh and nodded, resigned to my fate. "I know... Are you going to teach me, Kada-sensei?"

Kada crossed his arms and scrutinized me. "No."

I almost fell face-first to the floor. "Ah?"

My teacher placed a hand in his chin and started stroking it. His shaggy brown hair covered his eyes, and in a serious voice he said, "If we don't know the problem, then how are we going to fix it?"

I took a calming breath. "We already know the problem, Kada-sensei. I can't control my reiryoku."

"AH! There's were you're wrong, Costa! Such narrow thinking is only ONE of the reasons why your powers fall short from many people's expectations! No... Let's see, how old are you?"

Thank you, Aizen-taichou, for preparing me for this. "Fifty-nine... Why is my age so important?"

He seemed to deflate at my answer. "Now I actually _have _to think..." he muttered under his breath with woe. Seriously...? "Usually younger spirits have problems controlling their reiryoku since they are new to Soul Society, but you could've even adapted to the reishi around by now."

... Aizen-taichou, I take it back.

"I see... Well, now that you know it's not my age, what are you going to do?" I asked, carefully pronouncing every single word. I've had a horrible day until now. Not only had my Remedial Kido teacher failed to show up and left me standing in the Class Five Theoretical Kido room like an idiot, but now I had a moron helping me in something I was in dire need for.

Mind-san, somewhere in my brain, is this really necessary?

Right now we were the only people in the small room. The room was exactly identical to the one I had taken my exam in, except we were in the B section of Shino Academy. The room had a view of the Kido Training Field, in which the upperclassmen were practicing more advanced Kido techniques. I had yet to make up my mind if being able to be constantly reminded of what I _should _be able to do motivated me or proved to be a hindrance.

"Costa, if you keep daydreaming like that, you're never going to control your reiryoku."

"I assure you it would be easier if you actually started teaching, Kada-_sensei_," I said in my chilling quiet voice. My hair started frizzing slightly and I felt my muscles tense in irritation.

My teacher waved off my comment, not at all noticing that my reiatsu was slipping from my control. "Oh, didn't I mention that this class is about self-discovery? I just need to guide you."

"Just what is your definition of guidance? From the moment I entered this room, you've done nothing but either criticize me or ask idiotic questions."

The first glimpse of intelligence flashed in Kada's eyes. Finally, we'll be getting somewhere now. "I seem to have a feeling on what's happening here. You have _too _much reiryoku for a fifty-nine-year-old. When you try using Kido spells, you use the amount you think is correct, but you draw more power than what's necessary and it ends up backfiring on you."

"Then what about on my exams? For the first time, the spell I used did not end up attacking me."

He shrugged and changed his sitting position so that he resembled mine, with legs tucked under thighs. "I don't know what you did differently, but you probably drew less reiryoku than before, but you didn't properly apply it, so Sai ended up attacking everyone in the room."

The idiot _does_ have his spark of intelligence in that thick skull of his.

"So what do you propose we do?"

"...I don't know. I finished with my guidance for now," he replied nonchalantly. He stood up and stretched. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Costa. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You...! I'm supposed to learn something! There's still around fifty minutes left of class!" I demanded, indignant.

Kada crossed his arms. "Fine... Try finding the correct formula for the Kido you want to use. That's something you can only do by _yourself_." He then turned and slid the door open, leaving me with an open jaw.

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><p><em>Thursday, September 23, 1999<em>

The grass on the ground tickled the palms of my hands. I was enjoying the sun again, reminiscing olden times. At the end of the frist day of the second term I had been informed that the teacher that was supposed to give me Remedial Kido classes had fallen into the hands of illness and wouldn't be able to teach me for a while. Shino Academy did not lack teachers, but not all of the teachers were specialized to handle a slow student, more specifically _me_.

My reputation of having uncontrollable Kido had reached many of my peers' ears, including my superiors. They knew that they would be wasting time if they attempted to teach me, and I couldn't really blame them. I wouldn't waste my precious time on someone who was unable to take advantage of it. However, Shino was a place that refused to give up, so they had enlisted the help of a shinigami.

Until they found a shinigami to help me, I had most of my Remedial Kido classes free. A teacher would come by and give me a set of notes, most of them exercises in how to improve the stances that were necessary when performing a spell. Both of us knew the information they gave me was useless. I was working on my stances with my fellow students, yes, but that wasn't the problem. My idiotic Reiryoku Control teacher still hadn't come up with an adequate answer to my situation. Sure, he had a plausible explanation, but no solution.

In my free time, when my mind was separated from the world and the world had no use for me, I wondered. Could my problem with Kido symbolize a problem my body is undergoing? The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. A problem I cannot solve by myself, but nevertheless is in need of my cooperation.

Alberto always tried finding the most imaginative scenarios in his mind. He was one to find the truth, because that was the way we were taught since we were children, but he would always let his mind wander into the deepest confines of his imagination. In his little world, he was invincible, and I can understand why he would sometimes ignore the real world around him. In reality, we're never as strong as we think ourselves to be.

However, I do not share my little brother's good fortune. In my little world... I do not even control what is above me. I am not powerful, nor talented... nor special. I can't control my little world. I can't make myself a superior being, or make anyone obey me. I am as tied down as everyone else... in _my _little world. Why am I unable to control whether I live or die? Is it really so hard to wake up, even when I wished for it so badly? Don't people always say that get what you want, you need to fight for it?

Why don't I have _it _yet, then?

"Costa Artemis?" a woman's deep voice snapped me from my thoughts.

"Ah yes, you're the one who wrote me this note," I stated, eying the small paper with the kanji characters that laid next to me. The note was the reason I had chosen the Kido Grounds instead of going under the naked cherry blossom trees. I stood up and bowed to my new substitute teacher. "I thank you very much for coming here when the situation is hopeless."

"Nothing is hopeless, Costa-san," she reprimanded lightly, but her tone of voice didn't change as much. "Now, show me what you've learned before I came here."

"Hai, Kuchiki-sensei."

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><p><em>Friday, October 1, 1999<em>

"Aizen-taichou, you really believe I have improved?"

"It's not that I believe, Costa-san... I _know_," he replied placidly with a kind smile. "When you first came here, I really needed to read over your characters a couple of times to see what you wrote, but now... You don't rely on hiragana or romaji anymore, do you?"

I put the brush back in its inkwell and leaned my cheek on my hand. "I'll admit that when I am too lazy I will write on hiragana or romaji, but lately I genuinely want to try my kanji with my notes."

Aizen chuckled and went back to continue grading his papers. "That's good to hear, Costa-san. Have you written in English yet?"

My hand grabbed the ink brush and I started going over the new ten characters' strokes. "No, I do not dare. We still do not have a good explanation for my knowledge of English."

"_I can speak English, Costa-san_," he informed me, speaking with a foreign accent. "After all, not all of the souls come from Japan. People _do_ die everywhere," he continued, reverting back to Japanese.

I hummed in agreement. "So there wouldn't be a problem with me writing in English?"

"Do you take the English class?"

"...No."

"Then yes, you would encounter some problems. Do not worry, English classes are mandatory in school starting from next year. I'm sure you will find those classes to be a good way to balance out your grades."

My brow crinkled slightly and I turned to face the man sitting in his desk. "People with low grades do not graduate, right?"

He stopped in his work and turned to see me. "Anyone who completes the whole six years of Shino with passable grades can graduate. Geniuses manage to graduate in shorter times, but those happen once in a century at most. Though there is an entrance exam to get into Gotei 13, so not every graduate becomes a shinigami."

"And we get to choose our division?"

"With said division's captain's approval, yes."

For some reason a lump formed in my throat. "If I were to apply for your division, Aizen-taichou... Would you accept me?"

The man gave me a warm smile. "Of course, Costa-san. I know that it is too early to say such things, but I believe... no, I _know _that you are a promising student." For some reason I started doubting who really was Mind-san in this little world of mine. "In fact, you _could_ be one of the first in your class to see Kyoka Suigetsu's power."

"Kyoka...Suigetsu?"

He chuckled and went back to grading his papers, hiding his warm brown eyes from my scrutiny. "Why, my zanpakuto of course. If I do say so myself, most people never go back to the way they were before after seeing it... Of course, this happens on the rare occasions that taichou release their swords."

"...I see... The power of a taichou is that great, isn't it?"

"There are always new heights, Costa-san. Never limit yourself with the standards presented to you; there is always something better."

A small smile made its way into my face. "I rather dislike limitations. Its a society's way of telling you that there is a limit in how good you can be, or how good you _have _to be to form part of it."

Aizen turned his head to face me once again, his brown orbs warm and happy. "We have much in common, Costa-san. Perhaps one day we can make our thoughts on the matter vocal."

"...Perhaps, yes."

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><p><strong>Oh, yes, sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but I really did not have much to explain other than that. I had been thinking on who would make a good substitute teacher meanwhile the other one is gone, and I thought Rukia was a good shinigami to take the place. Do you think so too? <strong>

**On the other hand, updates will probably become more irregular. I now began AP bio and two somewhat time-consuming books to read... When I'm done with those I expect more updates. So bear with me!**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are appreciated!**


	10. Bonds

**Well, this update came a little bit later than I expected. I am almost done with my Biology assignment, but I can't say the same for my books. Has anyone read Guns, Germs, and Steel? I need tips on how not to fall asleep meanwhile I read it.**

**Anyway, I would like to thank marc, Abby-Flourite, TiaRa'Hu, and YueLilianPotter. You guys made this story update today. Oh, and those who added this story to their faves and alerts too! Answers to questions will be at the end.**

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><p><em>Wednesday, November 10, 1999<em>

I stared at the spar currently going on in front of me between the Kannogi boy and my roommate Sachi. Both of them now currently surpassed my speed, something that I admit bothered me to a certain extent. The blame wholeheartedly went to the weights that Fuji had tricked me into wearing. Muscles were starting to develop faster than before, and I could pack more power behind my punches and my arms would not wobble as much when blocking, but the fact remains that my speed had been severely affected.

Even the instructors looked like they were starting to regret promoting me to Class One one. It was no secret that my speed had been the reason they had accepted in giving me a chance, considering my atrocious Kido competency.

Eight people had advanced to Class One: three Class Fours and the remaining were Class Twos. Fourteen people had dropped out of Class One. I had been stunned when our instructors told us that Class One had the least number of drop outs than the other classes. From the seventy-four students in Class Five, only forty-three remained, and that had been because if you failed Class Five, then you probably weren't going to survive a shinigami life. I was against eliminating the untalented so early in their first school year, but the chances that they weren't taking seriously Shino were low, so perhaps they _really _had problems with their skills.

Speaking of skills, that was a particularly nasty kick the Kannogi boy executed against Sachi. He had surpassed me in our little rivalry we had. People had whispered that the only reason he had been in Class Four was because of family problems that impeded him from attending the entrance exams. Now he was shining even among those more talented than usual.

Our Hakuda instructor stopped the fight, seeing that Kannogi was clearly destroying Sachi. They had been the last ones to finish their ongoing spars, mine being one of the first ones to be over. Although I didn't have my higher than average speed, I could still win most of my fights with my battle tactics. More endowed students in certain physical areas do not look upon me with the respect I should get, thinking that using intelligence in spouts of strength was not fair, however I could care less. I do not care the way I win my battles as long as I succeed in my goals.

"That was a good fight, Sachi-san," I told her when she met me at the door.

Said girl gave me a weak smile and together we walked out. "Kannogi-sama can tire me a little too quickly."

I scoffed. "I do not see why you give him so much respect. He has not earned it yet."

"Even after being extremely talented in our classroom?"

"You don't see me calling Kinomoto 'Kinomoto-sama', do you?"

Sachi chuckled quietly. "Point taken. You'll have to excuse, Artemis-san, that this was how I was brought up."

"Such a shame," I muttered under my breath.

We continued walking in silence until we got to the midpoint. Sachi would go on to her elective class, Human Traditions, meanwhile I would go on to my Kido Remedial class with Kuchiki Rukia.

Although my teacher was very talented in Kido, we still hadn't found a way to constantly perform a Kido spell without having unwanted side effects. Sometimes the spell would come out just fine, as it had been supposed to come from the beginning of the year, but when I tried again, something bad would happen to me exclusively. Rukia was talented enough to avoid any harm coming to her. It was surprising that she was not a seated officer in her division, since she showed enough prowess to be ranked in the sixteenth seat, _at least_.

Dare I say it, she _could _be better than Mihane.

I cautiously approached the secluded training field my tutor had chosen. Rukia was sitting down, her back facing me. I had been surprised when she told me she was the Sixth Division captain's younger sister. She could fill the role though; quiet, often lost in thought unless her unwilling student brought her out of it. She fit the description of a loner. However, unlike her older brother, I could see that this detachment was not intentional.

"Kuchiki-sensei, I apologize for my tardiness."

My tutor stood up and turned to me, receiving my bow. The day I can catch a shinigami off-guard will be a day to celebrate, indeed. She even manage to catch all of my soft-spoken words. "Don't worry, Costa-san. I just got here." She smiled lightly at me and then pointed at a target which was in the distance. "Are you ready?"

". . . Hai."

Rukia shook her head at my lack of enthusiasm but nevertheless continued, "I want you to push that dummy with the Hado number 1."

"I cannot leave the training grounds till I'm done, right?"

"Sharp as ever, Costa-san," she replied with an approving nod. I had figured out a long time ago that it was no coincidence that my remedial Kido class was the last one in my schedule.

I resisted the urge to sigh and walked closer to the dummy. I pointed my right index finger at it and muttered, "Hado number 1: Sho!"

A force pushed roughly against my abdomen, thrusting me several feet back. If I had less grace in Hakuda I would have fallen to the ground the moment the spell made contact with my body. I somersaulted and landed lightly on my feet. The pain in my stomach brought me to a knee, and I clutched my stomach tightly.

Both Rukia and I knew the dangers involved in letting me use Hado. I was forbidden from uttering the first letter of a Hado incantation in class. However, we both knew that forsaking knowledge in Hado was also a bad idea. I can't graduate from my first year if I can't use Hado number 4: Byakurai successfully. That was no problem for many of my classmates. Last I saw Airi, she could correctly perform Hado number 11: Tsuzuri Raiden _without _the incantation.

Simply, I was behind everyone, something both my tutor and I would not tolerate.

"Costa-san, your stance was too stiff, which probably caused the spell to backfire on you," Rukia commented lightly from my side. She extended her hand to help me up, and after a couple of seconds I took it. I held back a smirk since yet again I realized that I towered over my tutor. If I were to grow an two inches or three, I could easily be a foot taller than her. "Try it again," she ordered, snapping me from my musings.

I nodded and walked to the dummy, standing closer this time. "Hado number 1: Sho!" I finished, louder than usual, and to my amazement, the dummy _moved_. . . an _inch or two_. My shoulders shook in anger and I pointed my index finger at the offending object again. "_Hado number 1: Sho!" _I commanded, my voice with a slight snarl to it.

The sky, the prickle of grass against my skin, and the throbbing pain in the back of my head were the first things I registered. I bit my lower lip to avoid crying out in frustration. Will I ever get over this? What was the point of Kido anyway? The incantations were too lengthy and all of the spells were too ostentatious. Surely I could be successful relying on Zanjutsu and Hoho alone when dealing with Hollows, right?

"Kido is important, Costa-san. It can provide defense and offense at the same time." This place was infested with mind readers. "I am _positive _that Kido will not be your choice of action when you're a shinigami, but the knowledge never hurts, correct?"

I winced slightly, her words hitting home. Yes, it wouldn't hurt having more knowledge in Kido than if I ignored it. What was I thinking? Such thoughts should not be created by Beatrice da Costa's mind. Turning into an emotional brat will not help me in the long run.

"You're right, Kuchiki-sensei."

Flustered at being called a teacher, she nodded and turned away. "Besides, we have the whole day. Nii-sama is starting to eat his dinners later than usual."

Oh joy.

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><p><em>Saturday, December 25, 1999<em>

I blocked another impending strike from my opponent. His dark eyes widened as, this time, my block was firm and unwavering, meanwhile my adversary's wooden sword was starting to shake from the strain.

This was yet another of the simple psychological strategies I had developed over time. Lull the opponent into a false sense of superiority with sloppiness and weakness over a considerable period of time. Any person with pride would lower their guard, knowing that the match was won. In fact, if we were to stop our match right now, my opponent would say that I had only advanced this far because of luck. Of course, he didn't _know _that I was in Class One and _loved _playing mind games.

_Not knowing _would be his downfall.

Before he could even retaliate, I sidestepped to the right and brought my wooden sword to the back of his neck and lightly hit him. His guard had been so low that his body had been slow to react to my assault.

It was now encouraged to attack our fellow classmates with the intent to harm. I could have hit any point of his body easily with enough force to knock him out (thanks to certain rigorous training by certain old man), but I chose not to. Personally, I thought that violence was unnecessary, especially when fighting between comrades. Besides, using the exact amount of power needed to convey a message showed prowess of an advanced person.

I had learned from my Kido lessons that control was a gift that when taken away could bring much strife.

"You would be dead if I had struck," I commented, my voice no higher than a whisper. I withdrew my sword and strapped it to my back. Seeing my opponent had done the same, we bowed to each other and went back to our respective seats.

"Costa Artemis wins," one of our three assessors declared.

Airi was waiting for me with an awed expression. "Wow, Art-chan! You totally kicked his butt!" she whispered excitedly.

I smiled lightly at the appraisal. "Thank you, Airi-san." We were encouraged to sit with our classmates, but both Sachi and I had a special attachment to Airi, so we decided to sit with her.

The second term had gone by faster than what I thought. Admittedly, I hadn't thought about spending my Christmas by taking an end-of-term exam. Then again, celebrating Christmas by myself would have been no better. Although I did not believe in the story behind it, the tradition was now engraved in me. After all, Christmas as we know it was a simple replacement for the pagan Roman celebration Saturnalia. Nowadays it was a time to see family I had not seen the whole year, share stories, talk about how life was going, eat until our bellies were round, and in the adults' case, drink to have an even better time.

Christmas here was different. . . because there was no Christmas. Apparently, the people here were _dead_ and did not remember their _past lives,_ unlike me. They did not remember Christmas, so they did not celebrate it. Most of the people here never got to visit the "Living World" unlike the shinigami, who regularly went there to dispose hollows. If anything, I expect Seireitei to have some sort of Christmas, having been exposed to it more than the Rukongai natives and the ignorant nobles that form Shino Academy.

That is the main reason why Christmas was now being spent in an end-of-term exam. The last one, to be exact. After this, I had a brief two-week long vacation that would probably not be much of a vacation, knowing that Fuji was itching to battle with me.

"I'm sure this will show the Academy that you really deserve to be in Class One," Sachi commented, her eyes already focused on the new fight.

We both knew why she had said that. Yet again my Kido exam had been unsatisfactory. This time, Sho, or Thrust, had pushed both the shinigami and me to the ground. I could feel that my lack of control was starting to irritate my instructors, knowing that my failure probably reflected in their own teaching. The _bastard _had barely taught me anything about control, leaving everything to me. If I could point fingers at someone, I would point all of mine to Kada.

On a lighter note, I had slowly regained my speed until it was almost on par with last term's speed. Sure, I had not improved, but I still claimed second place in my year, only below Kinomoto Kuuya. The problems that had been presented in Hakuda were now mostly fixed, since my strikes now _hurt _and my arms could now block without shaking. Some of my Hakuda grace and power had now gone to Zanjutsu, but I still relied more on mind games than anything. I had shown that I improved greatly under Class One.

All except my Kido.

There was no doubt that the school would make me take my Remedial classes again.

At least I was positive I passed my Class Four Haiku and Codes and Regulations exams. It had been somewhat humiliating, repeating that subject with the other Class Fours. At least I had gotten my credits for the first term.

"Let's hope so. I have no intention of resigning my spot." I had worked hard this whole term to be deserve the merit of being with the talented people. I had taken my exams in romaji, and although the Academy could bear that, they were aware of the tutoring Aizen gave me. Soon they will expect me taking the tests and writing in kanji like every other student.

"Eto. . . Sachi-chan, have you been hearing a strange voice in your head lately?" Airi suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had reigned after my comment.

She peered at her curiously. "Why no, Airi-chan. You should talk to your Zanjutsu sensei about it. I think that is your zanpakutou, but having him confirm my thought wouldn't hurt."

Ah, Airi was _already _being talked to by her zanpakutou? Interesting indeed. Seeking one's zanpakutou was usually done in the second year, since one of Shino Academy's goals was to have one's sword called upon before we graduated from the Academy. Since each person was different, they couldn't start too late in calling the _spirit _that lay dormant within. Most of the students gained the ability to call forth our swords before our graduation or shortly after, but this happened after years of having a relationship with the "spirit" inside of us. Some took days to materialize their swords, meanwhile others couldn't materialize their swords for years, thus being unable to pass the Gotei 13 Entrance Exam. With such diversity, I could understand why Shino Academy started the training so early.

The mechanics around a zanpakutou still astounded me. When I first heard of it, I thought that perhaps the legitimate Mind-san was my zanpakutou. I crossed out the idea a few days later, simply because every shinigami had a zanpakutou, therefore every shinigami had that _spirit _in their mind. Reinforcing that thought, one of the qualities of the childish concept "Mind-san" that I had carelessly created was guidance. So far, the only figures I could say that guided me on a near-constant basis were Aizen and Mihane. That thought crossed out my dormant zanpakutou.

Still, to have a being residing inside of me was. . . fascinating. To think that this world inside of me was so complex I even had a being inside of me. If I hadn't personally _seen _the power of a zanpakutou I wouldn't have believed it was possible. I also didn't like the idea of sharing my thoughts with someone else. As much as they told me that a zanpakutou was part of myself, _not _being _me _was enough for me to feel violated by the intrusion.

Regardless of my thoughts on the matter, I had no say in what I wanted. One of the requirements to be accepted in Shino was the slight possibility of being able to acquire shinigami powers. One of those powers was a zanpakutou. I was still in this school, meaning that I had someone dormant in my mind, waiting for the time to meet me.

Funny, both of us were aware of each other, yet we both had no intention in meeting any time soon.

"Is Art-chan alright?"

"Yes, I am. Why do you ask? I turned my head and regarded Airi, who was watching me curiously.

"Well, you're quieter and your eyes are more droopy than usual, like if you're even more bored than before or. . . sad. But Art-chan doesn't get sad, does she?"

The droopiness Airi pointed out disappeared, as my eyes opened in surprise. I had never considered Airi as a person to pay much attention to her surroundings, focusing more on herself than anyone else. Perhaps her care extended to those she held dear, but the idea that she cared for my well-being was astonishing as well. Can these entities that reside in my mind have emotions and care as well? Does that mean that they are not programmed to behave in a certain way? Well, I guess that these essences that reside in my mind can care for their creator, but still. . . This idea brings a new view in the people that are involved with me.

"Art-chan? Are you there?"

I slowly nodded. "Sorry, Airi-san, I was just thinking. . . But no, I am not more bored than usual. I _can _get sad, Airi-san. I am human, after all."

Sachi giggled quietly at my side. "You're a _soul _training to be a shinigami, Artemis-san, not _human_. I can see now that your thoughts are elsewhere."

The confusion I felt with her comment was not shown in my face, thankfully. Carefully filing that piece of information to ask Mihane later, I turned to Airi and said, "But I am somewhat melancholic. Today is a special day for my family."

Airi's head bowed slightly. "Ah, sorry, I didn't know. Your family died today, right?"

I had not chosen a date for the "death" of my family in this place, but now that Airi had mentioned it might as well go with her suggestion. "Yes."

This time, I was sure the surprise showed in my face when Airi hugged me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of something horrible, Artemis-chan."

I was in an awkward position, with her arms around my shoulders and her body leaning to my right side. The fact that both of us were sitting down did not help. I stiffened when she squeezed me, a show of comfort. I was used to physical contact, yes, but I had never expected it here.

No, I had never expected a show of affection to feel so _real_.

Before Airi thought I was emotionally deprived, I moved my hand and patted her back. I felt even more uncomfortable, but I don't think that Airi minded that. I turned and saw that Sachi had a tender smile on her face and nodded at me in encouragement.

This was bad.

I _could not _become emotionally compromised in this place.

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><p><em>Monday, January 17, 2000<em>

The first week of the last term had been ordinary. I had maintained my rank as Class One's Kido inept student. There was still the matter of performing Byakurai, or Pale Lightning, _without _killing someone in my attempt to hit the dummy, but that was for another day.

Currently I was going for my weekly tea with Hanari. It was a habit that had been made and I did not want to break any time soon. My weekly spar with Fuji on the other hand was something that I wanted to stop before I broke a bone. I owed the old man that much, though, and I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the challenge.

Hanari was outside gardening her plants when I arrived. "Baasan," I greeted quietly when she was in hearing range.

"Why hello Artemis!" she replied with a content smile. As I got nearer to stand next to her, she frowned. "Is there a reason why you look so. . . bad?"

Clearly I was taken aback. "I beg your pardon?"

The creases on her forehead became more pronounced. She pointed her hand at me and moved it up and down, as if my whole body was the problem. "I am used to you not taking care of your appearance, but you have never reached this level." She quickly moved next to me and got a strand of hair in with the only two fingers that were not dirty. "These split ends... When was the last time you had a haircut?"

"About two years ago," I answered truthfully. My answer took me by surprise. Had it really been two years since I got here?

She made a sound of disapproval and shook her head. "Wait here," she ordered, and then she went inside her small wooden house.

I stood there, very much confused, waiting for the old woman to come back.

"Is there a reason why you're standing there looking like–"

"An idiot?"

"–you're lost. . ." Hitsugaya finished, irritated that I had interrupted him.

I shrugged and turned slightly to see the boy approaching the house. Nowadays, whenever he came to Rukongai, he donned simple clothes that would not give away the fact that he was a shinigami, or worse, a shinigami captain. People in Rukongai feared the shinigami, after all. Of course, even I found it somewhat disturbing to see him in a deep blue yukata with a midnight obi. "Long time no see, Hitsugaya-taichou."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "I came two months ago," he reminded me.

"Shouldn't you visit your baasan more often than that?" I suggested mildly.

The boy crossed his arms and glared at me. "Hmph, I have work to do. Besides, the help I get is no help at all. Gives me more work in fact."

"I know what you mean," I said with a tone of mocking wisdom.

"You do?" he asked skeptically, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow.

I smiled lightly and shook my head. "Actually, I don't. I heard that relating was good manners, though."

He bit out, "_Not _when you don't actually feel it!"

I was about to apologize when Hanari walked out. She was clean and had a maroon yukata with light green leaves on her side and a darker green obi. She had a small purse with her and a look of determination that dissipated completely when she saw her grandson. "Shiro-kun!" she greeted jovially.

I stifled a chuckle that did not go unnoticed.

"Baachan," he replied with a trace of bitterness.

Hanari either ignored the captain's bad temper or didn't notice it. "I'm afraid you came in a bad day, Shiro-kun. Artemis and I are going out."

"To do what?" we asked simultaneously, then turned to glare at each other.

The old woman let a delighted laugh. "Well she looks –pardon me, Art-chan– horrible! If she's not going to do anything about it, then I will!"

I was not one to care much about physical appearance, but knowing that I looked "horrible" was never nice, regardless of opinions on the matter. "I don't have too much time to care about myself anymore," I said quietly.

Hanari frowned slightly. "When I was around, you looked like a doll. Now. . ." she trailed off, missing the adjective she wanted to use to describe me (something I was glad for). "But Shiro-kun came to visit. . . I know! Do you want to come?"

"No," both of us said at the same time. We turned and glared at each other again. "I mean yes!" We glared even harder, knowing that we were disagreeing by agreeing.

We were so caught up in glowering at each other that we did not notice the old woman come forth and pinch our ears. Well, Hitsugaya probably knew, being a shinigami captain and all, but he ignored her. "Act like the adults you are, both of you," she reprimanded.

Well, Hitsugaya doesn't really fit the role of an adult, at least physically, but at least I was wise enough to keep that comment to myself.

"Baachan, I can always come next week. I have work to do."

She took a look of otherworldly knowledge. "That's what you always say, Toshiro, but you always leave your poor grandmother alone."

Ah, the guilt card. I must admit that Hanari was exceptionally good at that one. I could understand that she must be feeling lonely. I could tell how much she looked forward to Sundays when I was under the daily tutelage of Fuji. There was not much she could work for, and I had the sneaking suspicion that Hitsugaya financially supported Hanari. Although Hanari made it sound like blackmail, deep inside that must be what she felt: loneliness.

Unlike with the Tenth Division Captain, I could relate with Hanari.

He sighed and shook his head slightly. "Fine, let's make it quick."

She smiled wickedly and nodded happily. "Let's go, my stubborn grandchildren!"

We walked down the streets of Rukongai. I walked beside Hanari, meanwhile Hitsugaya trailed behind. As much as the boy pushed my buttons, I could understand that he was here against his wishes. Of course, I was here against my will too, but at least the matter that we went out pertained to me.

"Ah, here we are." We stopped right in front of a little store. The kanji for the place read "Living World Hairstyles." I shouldn't have been surprised that Hanari would take me to a hair salon, but somehow reading the store's name made everything surreal.

"Baasan, can't this wait?"

I believe my voice got even quieter because Hanari didn't hear me. "Shiro-kun, you need a haircut too. Let's all go."

Not even bothering to complain, we both opened the door and walked dutifully inside.

The interior was different to hair salons that I had gone to. I had noticed that this Soul Society had a general theme of feudal Japan. Corresponding to that theme, the hair salon had old wooden floors and ten chairs lined up in two rows with a considerate amount of space in between.

A middle-aged woman with lucid dark hair came to greet us. "Hanari-sama, what a pleasure to see you! Ah, you brought Hitsugaya-kun for his haircut!" In my right side, I felt the captain stiffen. "Who is this that you brought?"

"My granddaughter, Costa Artemis. She hasn't been taking care of herself lately, so I took it upon myself."

The woman nodded in understanding. "Tell me, Costa-san, how old are you?"

"I'm turning sixty in a month." I still had trouble telling people that I was turning such an old age when I was barely turning twenty. Wait. . . Twenty?

Both Hanari and the woman shared a look of understanding. "Well, she's still young. It's understandable." She turned slightly and beckoned me. "Come here, Costa-san. My name is Aizawa Kaneko and I'll be your stylist for today."

I followed after her, hesitance visible in my lethargy to walk. I turned and saw Hanari chatting amiably to another stylist that would soon take Hitsugaya away. Understanding that I was alone in this, my steps became quicker and more resolute as I walked to the chair Kaneko had reserved for me.

"Now, Costa-san, is there anything you have in mind? We have some books that were given to us by some female shinigami that are from the Living World. You can browse for a hairstyle if you like."

She gave me those books that most hair salons would have in their disposal. They were of the mid-90's, and the books had styles of western countries.

I sighed and shook my head. "You can do whatever you want, Aizawa-san." Quite frankly, I don't care what she did with my hair.

Humming in understanding, she got a pair of scissors and started doing whatever hair stylists do.

Turning twenty. . . Who would have thought I would've spent two years in this place? More so, why was I still alive? My family excessively hoped that I would wake up. That meant that I had chances of survival. Reason number two, one that I had entertained for a while now, was that time passed differently inside my mind. Combining this with my experiences of dreams, this theory also made sense. My inner clock was different from the clock that ruled society.

These two years I had spent here could possibly be two days, or two hours even. I was personally more inclined to this one, because the idea of losing two years of my life did not sound too comforting, especially knowing that there was nothing after my life. Besides, I had a life plan that would be compromised if this coma took too much time.

In a few months, I was about to graduate from high school and get my honors diploma. If all went smoothly, I would go to Juilliard, the college of my dreams, and study what I had the most passion for in my life. If not, there were other musical colleges that could teach me more about piano and have almost, if not the same, result. After playing more piano, I would go back to college and study more languages, particularly Japanese, and travel the world, playing piano and meeting new people and creating experiences.

Everything was planned out, and I wasn't going to let an idiotic coma take my dream away from me.

"Costa-san, it's ready."

Kaneko gave me a little mirror and I stared at my reflection in shock. My hair was shorter, reaching a little past my flat chest, and I had middle bangs that were currently side swept. But that wasn't what surprised me. My face was exactly the same. The face that was staring at me was the same face I had seen in the morning before I went to school to become a victim of a school shooting. My heart-shaped face, my pale pink lips, the fading freckles on my nose, my lidded almond shaped eyes, and that chickenpox scar at the top of my forehead that was always hidden by my hair. Sure, I could understand that the scar was never going to leave, but why hadn't anything changed? Why didn't my face change? And now that I looked at my body, my form hadn't changed either.

I still looked eighteen.

Hanari told me that people aged slower in this world, but after repeating my earlier theory, I could only guess that time indeed passed differently in here than outside.

The relief I felt was great.

"You have beautiful hair, Costa-san, but you also need to take care of yourself. Those dark bags under your eyes are not only unhealthy but unattractive. How much sleep do you daily get?"

People seemed awfully blunt lately. "Six hours. . . Sometimes."

Out of the corner of my eye, Kaneko shook her head. "You need to rest. I am surprised that you can keep walking like that! Also, you need to eat more. Your cheekbones are getting too shallow and–"

"I thought you were my stylist, Aizawa-san, not my nutritionist," I politely interjected, but my voice was cold, even to my ears.

Kaneko frowned and shook her head. "I can tell that you're dear to Hanari-sama, and she looks sad when the people she cares about do not care for themselves. So would you please try to at least care about your appearance? Not because you're shallow, but a pretty natural countenance reflects a healthy person. Hanari-sama wants you to be healthy, Costa-san."

"Why doesn't she tell me personally, then?"

She smiled enigmatically. "I've known Hanari-sama for a few decades now. I think that she knows that reminding you to take care of yourself would wound your pride."

While it is true that I can forsake my pride for greater things such as knowledge, I was still human and had my share of pride. To know that someone cared about wounding it was. . . nice.

"How are you so sure?" I asked, my voice quieter than usual.

"I know Hanari-sama enough to know that she is willing to suffer in silence as long as she makes those she cares happy. You should appreciate her more, Costa-san. So please, take care of yourself. Not for you, but for her."

Her happiness depends on my health?

No.

Again, I _cannot _become emotionally involved here.

But. . .

Is considering her as family too much?

* * *

><p><strong>Well this chapter was interesting to write, to say the least. <strong>

**Rukia was hard to write, partially because she is described as different before canon started. It's said that she tends to close off other people, making it hard to make friends. So, mixing this description of Rukia with the one we have of canon was hard. I hope that everyone was satisfied.**

**While I'm at it, I hope Hitsugaya was inside the boundaries. The only interactions seen between Hitsugaya and Granny were before he became a shinigami. I don't know how he acts around her that much now.**

**Now I have a solid description of Artemis. Before when I thought of her I thought of a blank slate, which kind of freaked me out, being her creator and all, but now I feel oddly reassured. **

**Now, FreeSoul1990 had an interesting question a few weeks ago that I did not answer because I did not have an answer for it. Sorry FreeSoul :$ But I think I have an answer now: no. I don't think that Artemis will become romantically involved soon. Maybe a crush or something, and maybe not even on a canon character. I just don't know how to write an Artemis in love. If I receive enough requests, I might try the challenge, but then comes the pairing, and in that. . . It's just complicated, and I don't want to take the focus from the story in the spiritual growth. I'm always open for new ideas though. I would like to hear your thoughts on it.**

**Marc, this takes place a couple of years before Aizen's betrayal. As of now, I have planned to incorporate her in canon. I'm just thinking as to how much to not deviate too much from the storyline. I have no intention of making an AU, but if I do, Art or any OC would not be the main character. **

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are greatly appreciated.**

**PS . . . Can MA get 5 reviews? Pretty please with cherry on top? Of course, I am still going to update regardless, but I love hearing your comments on the story. It makes me really happy knowing that there are people out there that enjoy my work :D **


	11. It Ain't Real

**Well well, chapter 11! Unfortunately, I'll be going on a trip for two weeks, and after that I'm in charge of a summer camp as a teacher of sorts. So no updates until the end of August :/ No worries, I'll be working in ways to write the next few chapters, because the action rises afterwards!**

**I would like to thank Flameses, Melibells, Devonne, Abby-Flourite, umbreon241, and SwirlzSmile! Also to those who added this story to their alerts or favorites! I'm happy that you guys enjoy this story!**

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><p><em>Saturday, February 5, 2000<em>

One should wonder how the instructors in Shino Academy became qualified. Did they serve as shinigami for a portion of their life and then retire to teach the next generations? Was there a special school in Seireitei for teachers-to-be that I was unaware of? They had to have _some _experience to teach the newcomers to the shinigami business. After all, this was a path of the military and the military was always dangerous.

So how in the world did Kada become certified to teach students in this Academy? The man did not even _try _to help me figure out the origins of my lack of self control. Each day, from start to the end of the class, we meditated. No, _I _meditated; he left after five minutes. One time he even asked me if I had encountered my zanpakutou after all the meditation I had done.

Rukia and I didn't have eternal patience. I could see the way my failures affected her. Of course it would; anyone would've predicted that my Kido problems would disappear after one term. I'm sure that Shino expected this from Class Fives and Fours, maybe a handful of Threes, but never from a Class One.

"Kada-sensei, I think we should do something productive today," I requested, regarding the teacher that was sitting in a seiza position, or Japan's formal sitting, in front of me.

He lifted an eyelid open to reveal those oh-so-annoying mocking brown eyes. "What is exactly the meaning of 'productive,' Costa? I think we're doing just fine."

"_No, _we're not. I even got _worse _than when I started."

A black eyebrow rose. "Really? That is most intriguing. Thank you for the piece of information."

"You're not going to do anything about it?" I asked in an incredulous tone, my voice level that of a normal person.

Kada heaved a sigh and lazily nodded. "I am about to. Tell me, are you up for some questions?" Before I could answer, he continued, "Good, well then, what is your favorite color?"

"Yellow," I bit out. No use in asking him when his answer will probably infuriate me further.

"Have you been under too much stress lately?"

_Yes. _"A manageable amount."

"Is there something disrupting your mind?" His voice was taking an exciting, childlike quality that I became wary of.

What? "I don't understand," I admitted.

"Before coming to Shino, is there something you did that now you don't do?"

"I used to practice martial arts with my sensei every day for about ten hours. Is that what you're talking about?"

Kada hummed and shook his head. He abruptly stood up and started pacing around the tiny wooden room, the back of his hand under his chin and a look of pure concentration on his face.

My teacher paced around for a couple of minutes, meanwhile I stared at something akin to amazement. He was actually doing something for my good and not being a lazy good-for-nothing.

Finally he stopped and turned to face me. "Do you have an unrequited love?"

I blinked. "Not at the moment, no."

"Did a family member die in the last five years?"

"No."

He took a step closer to me and crouched, scrutinizing me intensely with narrowed eyes. "Do you have a passion for something?"

"Yes."

"What is this passion?"

I hesitated in answering. Ever since I came to Soul Society, I had never seen a piano. Quite peculiar, indeed, since pianos would be one of the things I would make sure to have inside my mind. Of course, I blamed this on my lack of imagination, considering the fact that nothing ever went _my _way.

He sighed and abruptly stood up, shaking his head. "I guess I should explain my seemingly random questions," he stated with a chuckle. Please do so. "You see, one would think that reiryoku and reiatsu are easy to understand. After all, reiryoku is what makes shinigami different from souls, and reiatsu is simply that reiryoku released.

"Everything you see is made out of reishi. You should know that by now, right? Reishi is not entirely aligned with the person. In a way, you could say that reishi is impersonal; the far it goes relating to you is your body and your surroundings. Reishi does not willingly shape itself to what you want, but you have to shape it yourself. Doing so takes a couple of years to do, but once you master your reishi you're done. It will never change composition, so your ability will work now and five hundred years later, and for that we can be grateful.

"Reiryoku, however, is personal. It is your _own _power. My reiryoku is not the same as your reiryoku. I can't manipulate your reiryoku; it could take _years_, and who in their right mind would let someone else manipulate them? You are the only one that can master your reiryoku and use it for yourself. The ability to use and manipulate reiryoku depends much on your emotional and mental state. Manifestations of this occur in reiatsu, allowing the people that are very close to you to see fluctuations in your reiatsu and your general well-being. Shinigami consumed by anger will release oppressing reiatsu, those that are in the midst of battle will release reiatsu with the intent to kill.

"It is easy to read emotions in reiatsu, but mental states are harder to decipher. This comes from the idea that emotions are usually easy to read in one's expressions, but you can't read a person's thoughts, no matter how much you know them; you can only have a slight clue of them depending on how perceptive you are. Mental states–"

"Do you think I have a 'mental state'?" I blandly asked, looking up to my teacher with unimpressed eyes.

"–are usually more delicate than emotions," he finished, glaring at me slightly. "They last so long that they become part of a reiatsu signature. I'll ask again, what is your passion?"

When he put it this way, I really didn't have much choice in the matter. I could only hope that he would not read much into it. "Languages and music, particularly classical, jazz, and novelty piano."

"Interesting. . . So listening to music is your passion?"

"No, playing piano is."

Kada grinned and snapped his fingers. "When was the last time you played?"

This time, it was imperative that I answered truthfully but didn't offer all the information. "Before I came to Shino."

Kada's eyes widened in astonishment. "You've gone _so _long without doing what you love? How is that even possible?" he exclaimed, clearly surprised at my answer.

I, on the other hand, couldn't be more confused. "I don't see why that is bad. I won't die from not playing piano."

My teacher's brow furrowed in thought. "Well, I guess this is the only way. . . Costa, in this time that I have been seemingly doing 'nothing,' I have used this time to finish my Kido."

"You. . . Developed a Kido?"

He grinned and nodded his head proudly. He crossed his arms and leaned against a wall. "Took me a decade and a half, but it's finally usable. The incomplete form is a Bakudo that allows the user to tell things like mood and superficial thoughts. The main purpose is to analyze the reiryoku flow, though. Unfortunately, even the Bakudo needs to be further developed, and I _think _that I can only use it by means of Hakusui."

"You _think_ you can use it?"

Kada smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head in nervousness. "Well, I have never tried the Bakudo before; I just finished the first phase!"

"And you want to use Hakusui, the source of my spiritual power, to achieve this? You do know that if you make a mistake, you will seal my powers forever, right?" I will never become a shinigami, and I will be stuck in this world forever. I could say that if that happens, I'm as good as dead.

"Now, now, the chances of that happening are _very_ low. Trust me in this, will you? Besides, we might never know the true reason of your failing reiryoku control if you don't let me do this."

I exhaled through my nose and frowned. Honestly, I was very curious myself in seeing what was causing my lack of reiryoku control. Knowing the cause was a step in finding the cure. Rukia had told me that if my control got worse–which it was steadily doing–then I would eventually be unable to learn shunpo, manipulate reishi, use any form of Kido, and communicate with my zanpakutou. The end to this seeming disease was the end of my goal to become a shinigami. The clock was ticking against me.

However, I wasn't about to let him endanger my life and get away with it. "Fine, I'll allow this only with one condition: teach me the Bakudo and Hado when I get better at Kido."

He looked very surprised to say the least. "You want me to teach you Shin'nyu Rida and its complete form?" He then grinned. "Sure, sure; I don't see why not." He waved his hand upward, signaling me to stand up. His face was now solemn and serious, so I inferred that he was about to perform his creation.

I was surprised when Kada placed a hand above my chest where my Hakusui was. "Remain calm, alright?" I nodded slightly, and a sense of trepidation made my hands shake slightly. "Shin'nyu Rida," he muttered, and his hand glowed in an orange light.

I felt something foreign invading me. The feeling was uncomfortable, as if every cell of my body was being studied closely by an unknown source. The force prodded around my brain especially, and an invasive force entered part of my subconscious, my being, superficially.

Trying not to focus on the uncomfortableness, I instead directed my attention to Kada. He wore an expression of intense concentration with a mixture of surprise and wonder. Kada must've found something that intrigued him.

After about five minutes of careful exploration, Kada's hand stopped glowing and he placed it under his chin. He took a step back and grinned sheepishly. "Well, I have some good news and some bad news. Which ones do you want to hear first?"

"Bad news."

"Well," he drawled, "your reiryoku flow is heavily. . . ano, what do kids say these days? Scarred up? No. . . ah, yeah, screwed up. No wonder why you can't use Kido! I guess that after denying what has become a bodily need for so long you damage yourself.

"Now unto the good news! This is completely treatable, and will take some therapy plus giving your body what it needs. The therapy will take a couple of years, but if you go more time without playing piano then your condition will worsen exponentially till you may not be able to use reiryoku at all."

"Interesting. Mind explaining me the mechanics behind this condition?"

He nodded and urged me to sit, which I followed. He raised his hand and pointed his index finger upward. "Now, mental states can affect your reiryoku flow. Unrequited love can affect some people so much that their beings change completely, changing their reiryoku in the process." He started pacing around, clearly too excited to be standing in one place. "The loss of a family member can cause so much pain that one may be unable to use reiryoku. Stress can also do this. Finally, there are some things we do that become intrinsic to our being. This surpasses the idea of hobby; it becomes a passion. My passion is practicing Kido. If I stopped practicing Kido for long periods of time, then my reiryoku would go haywire trying to cope with the idea of no more Kido. Since I do not know how to deal with my new reiryoku, I would have more difficulties in using it.

"Same thing happened to you. After going through so much time without even a _thought _on piano, you put yourself under so much stress that your reiryoku became inaccessible to you, sometimes even attacking you in the process. Surprising though, usually the passions of shinigami-in-training have something to do with their line of work." His eyes got a thoughtful look and a frown marred his face. "What I don'tunderstand is what's _wrong _with you. Costa, your reiryoku is like. . . _split _or something. No, that's not it. Something is constantly consuming your reiryoku, which is weird because you keep your reiatsu stable, as if nothing was happening. Do you feel sick or something?"

"Never better," I replied, as confused as he was.

His frown deepened. "There's something out there that's eating your reiryoku, and for some reason your body doesn't feel alarmed or threatened. . . What are you hiding, Costa?" he asked, his eyes narrowed.

As a small child, I had been taught not to lie. After making my own mistakes, I had realized that lying brought unnecessary pain to the liar and to the victim. Truth, however, was liberating and saved both sides trouble. Even though I do not lie, that does not stop me from doing what is most convenient for me. "I don't understand, Kada-sensei. I am as confused as you are in this matter. Maybe it has something to do with my dyslexia?" I was not telling the truth but I wasn't lying either; I honestly _didn't _know what was going on.

He sighed and leaned against a wooden wall. "Well, maybe it does. You're just confusing, that's all. If this. . . sucking thing hasn't killed you by now, then it can't be all that harmful. I'm really surprised you can even emit some reiatsu with that thing sucking your energy. You must be pretty strong, kid. Don't push yourself, though. This means you'll tire more quickly than your comrades, which means you have more chances of dying," he warned seriously.

Even more complications to my path to becoming a shinigami, then. No worries, I had no intentions of dying just yet. "Yes, Kada-sensei. What I'm wondering is how am I supposed to explain this new. . . condition to all my sensei?"

"Well, I'll explain this to everyone. I'm sure that with this they won't ask some Kido from you any time soon. What this _means_ is that you'll have it harder to pass your first year." I heard noise from outside, signaling that the students were out. "You're a smart kid though, Costa, and I'm sure you'll pass." Kada grinned and waved his hand. "Ja ne," he said and walked out of the room, leaving me sitting down in the middle.

Wait. . .

How was I supposed to find a piano in this place?

* * *

><p><em>Friday, February 18, 2000<em>

_Two twelve-year-olds walked in a hazy road. The first week of seventh grade was finally over, and they were happy to see that they had some classes together. That, and Janice finally had a crush._

_"Bea, he's so _nice _to me! And he smiled too!" Janice gushed._

_Beatrice smiled. "Maybe he likes you," she replied softly._

_She turned to her best friend, brown eyes hopeful. "You think so? Oh, it would be so wonderful if he did!"_

_The older girl was about to reply when she felt something bothering her. "Jan, do you feel that?"_

_"Feel what?"_

_Beatrice shook her head and continued walking. She was about to explain those chills she got when the feeling got even stronger. Curious to find out, she grabbed her friend's hand and guided her closer to the source, ignoring her protests. The closer they got, the more Beatrice knew something was wrong. She couldn't fathom why Janice did not hear the yells and pleas for help just yet._

_"What are you doing, Bea?" Janice demanded when they stopped at a corner. For some reason, her friend didn't want to turn._

_"Shh!" Bea placed a silencing finger on her lips and inching closer to the turn. What she saw horrified her. A giant bipedal monster that resembled a gorilla was gorging on a hazy looking man, who was the source of all the noise. Seeing too much, Bea turned to her friend with a horrified expression. "T-There's a-a m-monster out h-here!" she whispered._

_Alarmed, but not trusting her friend, Janice walked confidently to the corner. Beatrice was expecting for her friend to scream, but she only looked confused. "What are you talking about, Bea? I know that Mrs. Gast can be mean, but why would you call her a monster?"_

_"No!" Bea almost shouted. "There's a. . . a black _thing _in there! It has a freaky mask too! Can't you see it?"_

_Janice blinked at her friend. "No, Bea. I think you're seeing things."_

_Beatrice walked to where Janice was standing and there it was again! The monster was breathing heavily and looking around the street. The older girl pointed a shaky finger at it and murmured, "Can't you see it?" Her voice broke as she choked a sob. The thing was _looking _at her, _sizing _her up._

_It's coming for her!_

_"Something the matter honey?" an older female voice asked from behind._

_Bea turned to see her parents looking quizzically at her. She launched herself at her father and cried in his chest. "T-There's a _monster _in there! I-It _ate _a man!"_

_"Where's this monster, Bea?" her father asked. Bea pointed a finger at the general direction without looking. Carlo frowned. "There's nothing there, Bea."_

_"But it's _real_, Papa! It'll come to eat me!"_

_Carlo stroked her daughter's light brown hair. "Just because _you _can see it doesn't mean it's real, Bea."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"He means that for something to be real, it has to be observable," Esmeralda said with a comforting smile._

_"But, Mami. . . _I _can observe it."_

_"Not real for us, though," Al replied, joining the little group out of nowhere._

_"I guess that they're saying that if everyone but you can't see it, then it's probably not real," Janice said with a shrug, walking closer to the embracing pair._

_Beatrice frowned slightly. "So I'm weird?"_

_Carlo chuckled and ruffled her daughter's hair. "Think about it like this: people with schizophrenia see things that are not really there, but they think it's real. That doesn't mean that what they see is true."_

_"So I have schizophrenia?" Beatrice asked in a small voice._

_Esmeralda bit her lip and got closer to her daughter. "Some people just see things every once in a while, honey, but that doesn't mean you're sick."_

_"Remember to pursue the truth," Janice reminded her._

_"Truth. . ." Beatrice muttered. "Right." Her eyes widened when she realized she no longer was surrounded by her family but people she had never seen before. The only trait they shared was that they looked hazy._

_"That's right," a voice said._

_"We ain't real!"_

_"It's all in your imagination, girl."_

_"Surprising, 'cause you couldn't come up with something good in your life."_

_"We exist inside your head. How nice."_

_"Tell everyone how cuckoo you really are!"_

_Beatrice started breathing rapidly the more she turned to see who was addressing her. There were _so _many of them. Suddenly, two more monsters came, one resembling a snake and the other a spider. They started devouring the hazy people as soon as they got there, seemingly relishing on their victims' screams._

_"Remember, Bea: what isn't a part of reality isn't real. Look for the truth, always," her father said above all the screams and maniacal laughter._

_"There's always an explanation for everything," Esmeralda added._

_"Besides, you really don't want to be the odd one, do you?" Al continued with a grin._

_"My parents might not let me have a mad friend, after all."_

_Everyone suddenly disappeared, and all what was left was the twelve-year-old girl and the arachnid beast._

_"Oh. . . You look tasty. Don't worry, little one. Remember that I ain't real!" the hollow yelled before eating its precious meal._

My breathing erratic when I opened my eyes. Thick beads of sweat rolled down my face as I scrambled from my futon to the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face to cool myself down and then used the hand towel to dry myself. I exited the bathroom and noticed the mixture of oranges and yellows that signified the sun was rising. Sachi was still asleep from her side of the room, her breathing even.

No use in going back to sleep, seeing as I would have to wake up in an hour anyway. However, my body still ached from yesterday, so I decided to lay down on my futon and rest until Sachi woke up.

That dream. . . It was a weird mixture of my memories with my imagination. I usually did not dream, and if I did I always forgot what they were about. Some pieces of my dream were missing already; I remembered a conversation, but how I got there made no sense.

I _do _remember that most of my dream is a combination of my memories regarding those beasts and the hazy people. After telling my parents, I refused to acknowledge them. After I told my parents of my hallucination, they panicked and surveilled me intensely. This included going to doctors for the next few months to make some tests to see if I really had a problem.

After that, nothing ever bothered me again. Turned out that my parents were right again. My definition of reality did not match the authentic one, and for a moment that affected me. Of course, even now I try to find plausible reasons behind suddenly being able to see those _things. _Fortunately, the hallucinations never came again, so I never bothered in finding out the why and relive painful memories in the process.

I saw those monsters the day of the shooting. Those hollow started devouring hazy people, but yet again no one seemed to notice them. It was after I was shot that I met a person who could see and destroy the hollow, which adds as another reason to believe that this place is of my creation.

That dream was a great birthday present. Wow, today I officially turn twenty. One more year and I could be drinking some beer with my _college _friends. College. . . Oh, well, time in this place is probably different, so I shouldn't worry–

"Artemis-chan? Are you awake?" Sachi asked from the other side of the room.

Well, time to rise and shine. "Yes, I woke up earlier than usual," I replied, raising my upper body and leaning on my elbows.

Sachi looked surprised. "I hope you slept enough. You went to sleep late yesterday on that report."

I decided to stand up and stretch. "Well, considering how the students of Class One are their respective team captains in our field trip to the living world, I need to impress the assessors."

"Because you can't perform Kido?"

I nodded. "Correct. I found out that you need an average of eight to be in Class One when you add all of your four Shinigami Arts grades and divide them by four. I've been getting excluded from Kido all this time because Shino had no idea what was happening. Now that they know that this is all my fault, they are treating me the same as another candidate." With good reason, of course. It would be too hypocritical if I wanted special treatment meanwhile I openly criticized it.

"But that's impossible! The highest you can get is a thirty out of forty, and that's not an eight!"

"I know," I said quietly. "Even if I get perfect scores in Hakuda, Hoho, and Zangetsu, if I get another blank grade for Class One I'll be demoted to Class Two." I sighed and shook my head; there were other things I was worried about. "Sachi-chan, have you found the information I asked you about Soul Society musical instruments?" I went for my uniform and then to the bathroom to change into the bathroom.

Kada and Rukia were both trying to heal my reiryoku by converting my affected reiryoku into the original one. However, each day that passed, there was less original reiryoku to use as an example for Rukia and Kada to convert. Besides, what my teachers converted soon became affected afterwards in a vicious cycle. The best they could do right now was to halt the advancement of the unstable reiryoku.

For this purpose, I needed to find my passion, the piano, before it was too late. Most shinigami did not have passions that used "human" items because they never got out of Soul Society until this point. Kada had explained that these passions were an intrinsic part of us. Strong and experienced shinigami abandoned these passions and instead acquired serious goals, most which required all of their might to achieve. The complexity of the beings living in here never failed to surprise me.

"Artemis-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear me?"

I sighed and opened the door, facing the bewildered girl. "Pardon me, Sachi-chan. I was lost in my thoughts."

Sachi giggled, her blue eyes not at all bothered. "I said that I couldn't find much information on this piano that you need. The only person that my family is positive that has an instrument is Hisagi Shuuhei-fukutaichou of the Ninth Division. He has a guitar but unfortunately can't use it."

A guitar? Well, I was interested for a while when I was thirteen, and went to classes for a month or two, but I quickly grew disinterested and returned my full-time to piano. I learned some scales and chords, but my knowledge is rusty. I can't teach Hisagi guitar if I don't know how to play it. There goes my idea of teaching Hisagi in exchange of smuggling a piano in this place.

"Thank you, Sachi-chan. So are you sure there are no pianos in here?"

She shook her head slightly. "In fact, if my grandmother hadn't told me and you hadn't reminded me, I wouldn't know what a piano was. But Artemis-chan, I'm curious: how do you plan on remaining in Class One?"

"A couple decades ago, a group of Freshmen Class One went to the living world to practice Konso. The group, however, was then attacked by hollows, and they were overwhelmed until Aizen-taichou and Ichimaru-taichou, at that time Ichimaru-fukutaichou, saved–"

"Wait, you don't plan on killing a hollow, do you?" she asked, her eyes wide with disbelief.

I grabbed my wooden katana and shook my head. "Of course not. That may kill me; I have no intention of dying any time soon. The point is, some freshmen stayed and fought with their remaining leader. They made such a great example that even one who was horrible in Kido managed to stay in Class One." For time's sake, I refrained from telling Sachi the names of this people. The story I was told was from the combined information I got from Renji and Mihane, reason being Renji was being far too proud and he might have been exaggerating on a few things (which he was, like killing two hollows meanwhile saving Hinamori-fukutaichou simultaneously, but oh well).

"I still don't understand."

"I'm going to make a new field in which to grade my skills. This person was very brave–" or a lucky thickhead "–so he remained in Class One. I don't have courage to do that; I don't want to risk my life, but I'll show that I'm intelligent enough."

"That makes sense," Sachi agreed, getting her uniform from the drawers close to the window. "I still don't know how I'm supposed to deal with my team. What if they have a zanpakutou and I don't? Won't they question me?"

Airi had successfully materialized her zanpakutou. She was not the first one, but she was one of the first. We were taught in the beginning of the second year how to seek out our zanpakutou or communicate with it, but some got their hands on it as early as their first month of school. Most of these people belonged to Class One, and it was uncomfortable being surrounded by such talented people.

Kannogi had a zanpakuto. The idiot.

"Having a zanpakutou and knowing how to wield it are two different things. We're going to be given real katanas, a sign of finishing first year as a Class One, and we are better in wielding it than those who have a zanpakutou."

Sachi stopped on her walk to the bathroom, but didn't turn to see me. She gave one nod and disappeared inside.

I sighed and sat down on my futon. Being in Class One or not didn't bother me as much as my reiryoku condition. I needed to get better already, if not I would become unable to use my power because my original reiryoku would be gone. Kada had explained that once all of my reiryoku was damaged, my body wouldn't be able to adapt and use all of it. Then there was the matter of whatever was feeding on my energy. Unfortunately, I had no idea what could be eating away my energy, but there were other matters at hand.

For example, that field trip could very well seal my spot in Class One. There weren't many changes done in ranking once someone graduated first year; if you were bad in the first year then you probably won't change in the years that follow. The point of the field trip is to watch how to perform konso, and if a student already had a zanpakuto, they had a chance to try.

The twenty-seven Class One students were the leaders of each of the twenty-seven groups of roughly six students, including ourselves. Along with us came our sixth year senpai, five of them, to watch over us. They would grade us in the small amount of time they checked on us, and then give our grade to our teachers.

This was why I needed to show a good grasp of knowledge in what I was doing. If my senpai gave a good report about me, then Shino would see that I fit as a leader, despite my powerlessness in Kido.

Ever since the accident that happened a couple of decades ago, each of our senpai were given a special device that would call for backup to Soul Society if something happened.

However, knowing that this was a trial imposed by my mind, the chances that something went smoothly were low.

Not that it's going to impede me from properly enjoying my birthday. Maybe a spar with Fuji will get my blood boiling, and a tea with Hanari would really be nice. Wasn't the little captain coming over today? Today I _might _be feeling meaner than usual and _might _want to focus my evilness on Hitsugaya. Neither Sachi nor Airi knew that today was my birthday, but for some reason I wouldn't tell them unless they asked me.

Perhaps I didn't feel like lying to them if they asked how old I was getting, and that thought bothered me greatly.

* * *

><p><strong>So Devonne brought an interesting point in one of my reviews. And so I presented the mental stress that all of this ordeal has brought to Artemis. Of course, I had been planning this, but I decided to put it earlier now. <strong>

**I took the trouble of making up the reiryoku thing. Tite Kubo never really explained the mechanics behind using reiryoku and learning how to use it and stuff. Ichigo could be considered a natural prodigy, knowing how to use it by instinct alone. I hope it seems somewhat credible!**

**There's something that makes me really confused. In the wikia, it says that students usually materialize their zanpakutou near the end of Shino. But then Renji, Momo, and Izuru had their zanpakutou two months after starting Shino, since they were out practicing Konso (in the anime, they were doing that and getting rid of artificial hollows). Which brings me to, which one's right? I'm just improvising here. I guess that's why Academy stories can be hard and fun to write at the same time. Who knows what really happens?**

**Now there's the explanation why the Soul Society world is so hard to believe for Artemis. She's been brainwashed without meaning to, and although this brought complications, she managed to continue living a somewhat normal life. I mean, I would do the same thing. If someone told me that they were seeing monsters and all of that, I would tell them to get checked or something. It didn't happen like it was said in the dream, but the general context did.**

**So finally it's my birthday! It would be nice having a license by now, but I don't even have a permit -_- A lazy family, I tell you. **

**Send me some love, will ya :D?**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are greatly appreciated.**


	12. Beyond the Senkaimon

**I am so sorry! I know it's been longer than what I said when the update was gonna be, but school just slapped me in the face along with my after school activities. The bottom point is, updates will be horribly irregular and _waay _to dependent on my mood. **

**Anyway, I would like to thank Abby-Flourite, marc, tellie, FreeSoul1990, Redstarling, Lizard Lover, and zikkedia. Thanks guys, you make my day! Also to those who added this story to their favorites or alerts, thanks!**

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><p><em>Saturday, March 25, 2000<em>

The students were all chattering in the Central Courtyard. Empathic people would feel a mixture of emotions, ranging from excitement, nervousness, anxiety, and curiosity. The reason was very simple: right now we are being assigned our groups for the Field Evaluation. Now that we had completed a year of instruction for our shinigami training, Shino was required to see how we incorporated the knowledge in real life situations. We were going to pass through a structure called Senkaimon and into the Living World.

Today's Field Evaluation was exclusively for Year One students. To pass the test, we had to complete two tasks: maneuver our way through the Living World and send at least one soul per group to Soul Society. Now, if my line of thought was correct, going through the _Living World _wouldn't be too hard. After all, according to everything everyone has said, the Living World is Earth. Compared to the people here, who have never left this place, I have lived there for my whole life, and the advantages were obvious.

Performing konso would be harder, since this part wouldn't depend on me. Fortunately, we have more than enough students that already have a zanpakutou, so theoretically, every group should be able to complete this task.

Class One had yet another task: leadership skills. It was common knowledge that you could very well even die in this Field Evaluation if you didn't do what you were supposed to. The leader's job was to prevent anything bad from happening. Poor leadership equaled many problems, and this was prominently reflected on your grade. The other classes simply had to follow their leader's orders to be considered eligible for promotion to Year Two.

"Group Nine and Ten, please come forward," the main examiner called from the front of the courtyard.

Yesterday we had been given slips with numbers on them. I had gotten nine, which meant that I was in charge of Group Nine. Groups were paired up to facilitate grading and success. Although we were separate, we could advice each other and _had _to work together to protect each other, if the need arises. Thus we would be graded on cooperation as well.

I walked in front of the main examiner and after receiving a speech on my duties as leader and whatnot, I got a standard katana. I slightly unsheathed the sword and met my reflection in the smooth steel.

The examiner left back to the center to continue calling out groups, which bewildered me slightly. Wasn't he going to wait for the other group leader? Apparently even he didn't want to continue droning about something we were already supposed to know.

The air felt colder when I saw who Group Ten's leader was. My eyes narrowed and I smoothly inquired, "You are not in charge of Group Ten, are you?"

Kannogi's dark blue eyes looked at me with contempt. "I could ask the same question."

Tension spiked as we regarded each other with anything but positive feelings. Somehow I felt as if Shino had purposely chosen this arrangement to make things harder for us. However, I wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of making me fail, at least before _he _failed.

One by one, Group Nine started crowding around me. Out of the four, I only recognized a former classmate and two Class Three. My former classmate was Okamoto Mamoru, who I only remember because he was always called out on laziness and failure to complete the exercise (I immediately cringed on having to work with him). The other two I recognized were hard to miss or _not _know. The Akato twins are infamous among Year One, simply because no one knows anything about them. I have never heard Akato Yuuki or Yuuma speak before in my life. Even I spoke when asked to. They just stared at the person with blank faces, sometimes showing understanding or confusion.

Out of the two of them, Yuuki had a more gentle disposition, simply because she was the girl. Her innocent appearance of a delicate face and her long white hair made her much more approachable than Yuuma. Of course that luck would have it that her older brother would be part of Group Nine. Yuuma had rougher features, but it could be noted that he looked slightly feminine. Both of them having red eyes did not help their overall appearance.

"I think we're all here, Kannogi-sama," a meek voice announced. The owner was probably his second in command, and I could see that he would have no problems imposing his leadership.

It was an amusing coincidence that my second in command would end up being Saigo Midori, the girl I had my spar with on my first end-of-term. Akato Yuuma was in Class Three, and my Class Five was a guy named Suzuki Hajime.

I admit that I am not good in determining chemistry and the like, having never been an overly social person, but my group did manage the almost impossible task of making me feel uncomfortable and slightly self-conscious.

"Ano..." I uncharacteristically started. "We should probably go to the Senkaimon now..."

"You think?" Hajime snidely commented.

I internally took a deep breath and lightly exhaled. "Suzuki, if you want to ever graduate Shino, I suggest keeping the criticizing comments to yourself, unless you plan to accompany that comment with a productive one, which I highly doubt."

No one said anything after that.

Groups nine through twelve were aligned and led to the Senkaimon. It was located in a big courtyard with many arches surrounding it. The portal was guarded by two of the Kido Corps (I believe). A white-haired man with a captain's haori was waiting for us at the end, patiently waiting for everyone with a kind smile.

"Hello, Year One students! I am Ukitake Juushiro, as some of you may know me. I am here in order to wish you luck and basically explain you how everything works, since I'm sure many of you don't listen to your instructors when needed," he finished, chuckling.

The captain started giving a very superficial explanation on the tasks done by the Hell Butterfly, or Jigokucho, as they called it. He spent a great portion of the time convincing the students into not fearing going through the Senkaimon, telling them to rely on the ever convenient Jigokucho.

Personally, I did not see how a little butterfly could do everything Captain Ukitake said they did, but in my years in this place I had learned not to question the workings of my mind.

"I hope that you all have a successful mission and have fun! Remember that your safety as well as your teammates' go first in this!" Ukitake said with a comforting smile.

The gates opened and from the bright white light came many black butterflies. They each found one student and one by one we filed through.

For some reason, when I went through the portal, I felt as if I was getting closer to something I had forgotten, but my body hadn't...

* * *

><p>"Costa, do you have any idea of where we are?" Midori asked, eyeing her surroundings in wonder.<p>

I spared her a glance and shook my head. "No, but I know where we're going." Of course I knew, this was Tokyo, a place I had visited nearly a decade ago. Although I would be lying if I said this was exactly how I remembered it, but probably my mind put in the few pieces missing.

The funny thing was that no one could see us. It was as if we were invisible to this world. The instructors had told us that this was because we were spiritual beings made out of reishi, and the people in here were made out of atoms and couldn't sense us. This had sparked my curiosity to unimaginable levels.

I was going to investigate this as soon as I came back to Soul Society.

However, I digress. Our mission was to perform konso on a soul. It hadn't been too hard locating it, since this place had levels so low in reiatsu that differences were really noticeable. Getting there was the tricky part, since we were doomed to walk and not all of us could use shunpo as continuously as I could.

"Doesn't seem like that to me," I heard Hajime mutter.

There was the severe temptation to turn around and scold him, however I ignored him, continuing my way through the crowded streets of Tokyo instead.

"You're having a hard time reeling in your subordinates, huh, Costa?"

I closed my eyes and then turned to him, opening my eyes and regarding him coldly. "Not all of us have a magical last name that just mentioning it makes everything better."

Kannogi visibly frowned but wasn't too angered by my comment. "Although many think that being a noble makes me automatically successful, even I can fail among other nobles. Competition is just as hard, Costa."

"Are you explaining something to me or offering an excuse?"

He shrugged and continued looking forward. "Take it as you like."

Knowing that he wasn't watching, I allowed my eyebrows to rise. I wasn't used to this –dare I say it– placating Kannogi who did not follow my insults or continued the discussion. Maybe he wasn't feeling well, making him unable to think sarcastic remarks with me back and forth?

What good is a sick Kannogi, then?

...Not that I was worrying about him or anything. I simply needed someone to fight with to keep me entertained. Besides, these random arguments boosted my team's trust in me, whatever the reason for that.

As we continued walking, the environment started feeling more heavy. The light hairs in my arms shot up, and I felt goosebumps covering my body. The feeling was so heavy that I resorted to humming my lullaby quietly to myself, something I hadn't done since I had begun the schizophrenia tests. The lullaby had been the first piece of music I created: extremely simple, with light, soothing tones, dedicated to Alberto, my brother.

I wasn't the only one feeling apprehensive. Kannogi looked focused, his hand inching closer to his zanpakutou. The Akato twins, although in different groups, kept giving each other glances.

We continued walking, thinking that the farther away we got from the feeling, the safer we were going to be. However, our plan was doomed to fail since we didn't know the source of the oppressing aura to begin with.

"Kannogi, do you feel that?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "Be alert, Costa. Can't have you messing up right now."

I opted to hum Franz Liszt's _La Campanella _instead. The happy tones always managed to reign in my frustration.

Just when the feeling was about to leave, we heard a deafening roar coming from our right. A giant bird-like hollow had appeared, which was unexpected, but not uncommon. Immediately after it's appearance, two of our senpai immediately engaged in combat with it.

We realized a bit too late that the fight was closer to us than expected.

"Watch out!" someone yelled.

I didn't know what I was doing. I only knew that a hollow limb was heading my way, fast and with blood squirting from it. I used shunpo to get out of the way, not even thinking of how much reiryoku to put behind the step or where I was going to land. I just used it.

I landed in the top of a building, safe. I looked around and realized I had lost my team and Group Ten. Growling in frustration, I walked towards the edge of the building, trying to figure out where I was. The chilling reiatsu I had come to associate with the hollow was gone, either because the Year Six students had taken care of them or I was so far away I did not even feel tuned with their aura.

"Great," I mumbled. The wind was stronger and colder so high up, even though it was March, and messing with my bangs. I decided to shunpo to the streets, since at least then I could find my comrades better.

I gasped in pain when I landed on the sidewalk. People continued walking through me as I crouched, trying to catch my breath. For a second I felt as if all of my muscles had cramped. My lower legs were not responding, my arms were dangling in front of me, barely keeping me up. What... What in the world was going on?

My body felt incredibly weak, and each moment my limbs were more wobbly. Duly, I noted that my reiryoku levels had gone at an all-time low, even though I had barely used two shunpo. Breathing became harder, my breaths resembling wheezes more than labored ones. My vision was becoming invaded by dark black spots, and everything seemed double.

Finally my legs came out, and my body hit the sidewalk heavily, landing on my chest and hitting my chin. I quietly moaned and tried staying awake, looking straight ahead.

Each second, I felt closer to figuring out what I had forgotten but my body hadn't. Just as I was about to grasp the answer...

The last thing I saw were sandaled feet walking towards me.

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><p><strong>...I know I ended it in a way most people hate it. Yes, I hate cliffhangers as well. But, this means I want to know what happens as well, so this gives me encouragement to update sooner. I also introduced a slight mystery and ta-daa, plot! Finally we get into plot, or at least some of it.<strong>

**Also, I'll compensate for the shortness of this chapter with the next one. I just need to gather my thoughts, since I expect there to be a high amount of _something_.**

**Also, I WILL explore reishi and atom difference. I just can't pass up with that opportunity. Of course, since Tite Kubo has said nothing about reishi composition (why would he? guys are interested in the battles and blood and chicks, and girls are interested in the battles and blood and bishies), so I will explore that (meaning make up).**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are widely accepted.**


	13. Challenging the Mind

**Well, uh, hello there! It's been a while, I admit. It took me almost a year to finally update. Life and a big fat wall called "Author's Block" prevented me from updating to all of you, my most precious readers. I regained my lost passion, though, and now that summer break is around the corner, be prepared that updates will be raining on soon!**

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><p><em>Clack. . .Clack. . .Clack. . .<em>

"_Well. . .done it. . ."_

"_How. . .stranded. . .perfect for. . ."_

"_. . .useless. . ."_

* * *

><p><em>?<em>

My body ached, every part screaming in unison. This was not a normal pain after one of the more intense training sessions Fuji made me go through. I didn't want to open my eyes. I was apathetic to where I was or what had happened to me.

Quite frankly, I just wanted to sleep forever.

The sound of a door sliding open and footsteps did pique my curiosity. Eventually the sound of sweeping coaxed me into opening my eyes and facing whoever had dragged me into this weird place.

A little girl, perhaps no older than twelve, was holding a broom and staring at me with wide, sad eyes. She had long black hair with a middle part and was wearing a pale pink apron.

"Hm, you must know where I am, right?" I asked after a while, seeing she wasn't going to talk.

She nodded but offered no reply.

I sat up to hold a conversation better. "Mind telling me?"

"A shop," she answered succinctly.

A sigh escaped my lips. No such luck in getting an answer out of this girl. Many things were wrong with this scenario, though. To begin with, she could see me; almost no one in this world can see me. Second, she doesn't seem surprised by my appearance; the katana next to my futon should cause alarm. This girl was just as weird as I was.

"This shop belongs to an idiot by the name of Urahara Kisuke," a male voice answered me. I looked around, trying to find the origin of the voice, but I saw no man in my room. "In the corner, right here."

Well, how about that. A cat is talking. "And who might you be?"

The cat seemed incredulous, or as much as a cat can look. He got up and walked towards me. "I would've thought you would be surprised by a talking cat."

I scoffed. "I've seen and heard many weird things lately. I'm just starting to get the hang of my life. Anyway, you say this shop is owned by this Urahara; where is he?"

"Ururu, get Urahara for me," the black cat ordered. The girl bowed her head and quickly left the room, seemingly happy. The cat stared at me for a while, scrutinizing me but at the same time managing to make his stare bored and uncaring.

How in the world did I get here, anyway? This place was definitely not Soul Society. It did not feel _weird, _exactly. In fact, I felt oddly comfortable. This place reminded me of home, for some reason. Also, I could've sworn I had come here before, but there is no way I did.

The door suddenly slid open and a man with weird green-stripped clothing and a hat walked in.

"Ah, our guest is up!" a cheerful voice said. I didn't even feel his presence, but his eccentric style won my attention. "Urahara Kisuke, at your service," the man said.

"Costa Artemis," I replied, trying to not seem bewildered for the sake of courtesy. To each their own. "Where am I?"

"Straight down to business, I see," he replied with a chuckle. He walked over to sit down in front of my futon, his sandals making a sound that seemed oddly familiar. "I see Yoruichi-san didn't explain anything to you."

The cat jumped over me and walked towards the door. "I was only here to make sure she was fine. You never mentioned anything about explaining stuff," the cat, Yoruichi, replied with a lazy tone. He left the room, closing the door with its tail (practice, perhaps).

"That's Yoruichi-san for you," Urahara continued, not at all bothered by his cat's attitude. "But to answer your question, you're in my shop in Karakura Town."

Something was wrong with that. "I was supposed to be in Tokyo! The academy is probably searching for me."

"Oh, why yes they are! You're going to be in heaps of trouble when you come back. . ._if _you come back," he said slyly.

My eyes immediately narrowed at him. Suddenly, not being able to see his face became a problem. "What do you mean by _if_?"

He chuckled, not intimidated by my tone. "Surely someone as curious as you is interested in knowing why you fainted, right?"

"I consumed most of my reiryoku. Nothing to be worried about," I lied, attempting to hide my interest. That little fact had been annoying me for quite a while. Not knowing something was one of my biggest pet peeves, and since I didn't know everything, I constantly lived in annoyance.

From the shadows I could sense that his eyes became excited, as if he had caught his prey in a trap. "But you didn't. I saw you, Costa-san. Barely two shunpo and you were out. I must admit, you have good reserves on you, so there's no reason even the most incompetent of students fall after two steps. You want to know, Costa-san, and that's fine."

No use in pretending anymore. "Do you know why, then? Can you explain why everything is so strange, then?"

He wiggled his finger in front of me. "Ah, ah, ah, I can't say I _know_; there are few things I am completely sure about. I have theories, though, very interesting theories."

I crossed my arms. Fine, he's got me hooked. "Okay, I want to hear them."

Urahara laughed, thoroughly enjoying himself at my expense. "You don't expect them to come easily, right? You cannot hear these theories just yet, Costa-san."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Why not? They're about me. The information is useless if I don't hear them."

"This is a shop: I sell things and customers receive things. You could say that I'm selling information to you."

Cunning bastard. "I don't have any money to give you. I don't live around these parts, so I have nothing that might interest you," I replied, trying to rein in my frustrations but failing from keeping the clipped tone from my voice.

"We all have something to give that the other party is interested in; that's the basis of business. It's all about trying to find what the other party wants. You're curious about your problems, and it turns out I might have some information about it. It's up to you to find out what I'm interested in."

Urahara was a clever man, I won't deny it. His initial appearance fooled me into a false sense of security and I was paying dearly for it. In what would a person like this strange man be interested in? I had nothing to work on; his past was a mystery. He had a connection with the shinigami, that's for sure. A man like him wouldn't reveal much to me, but by saying the tiniest bit of information he divulged the fact that he's very knowledgeable about many things.

He lived in the Living World, though. I had never heard of a shinigami that spent his time in here without a mission. He probably hasn't visited Soul Society in a long time. A man like Urahara, so knowledgeable about many things, was probably vexed about his lack of information about Soul Society.

There you go.

"I don't know why, but you can't go to Soul Society," I declared. I watched in satisfaction as my statement made him stiffen slightly. "I'm a First Class at Shino. I have friends and acquaintances amongst the shinigami. I'm even slightly related to Hitsugaya Toshiro. I'm sure I know something you might want to know."

Urahara was quiet for a few seconds. "You didn't mention anything I'm interested in," he replied in a cheerful voice, but it was slightly strained.

"Hm, Aizen-taichou will be annoyed that a simple man called him boring," I said with a winning smirk.

He visibly stiffened, the name acting like a spell over his body. "Aizen, you say?"

So he is interested in Aizen. I was playing a wild card in here but I apparently won this round, "Aizen Sosuke, captain of the Fifth Division. For some reason, he finds me mildly fascinating, just like you do."

The man in the hat was quiet for a couple of minutes, more than what I imagined. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he opened his eyes and cheerfully said, "You managed to find it, Costa-san! I believe we will have a beautiful business partnership."

I snorted. "Tricking me into one doesn't exactly make it beautiful at all, Urahara-san."

* * *

><p>Excitement made me forget for a while how hungry I was, but the feeling came back full force once I started eating the rice. "So, you never explained your plan, Urahara-san."<p>

The table was surrounded by two kids, Ururu and a red-haired boy named Jinta. Ururu had said that another man usually joined them to eat, but he was out at the moment. Yoruichi, always the free soul, was somewhere out in the streets, probably finding something to eat.

The eccentric man explained to me that our deal had two parts: explaining the theory and experimenting with it. He had been planning on telling me about my problems regardless of whether or not I could match the price for the information. Since I had managed to find his soft spot for Aizen, he had decided to have me stick around and see which one was true and how it affected me.

I had to tell him about my "death" and my year in Soul Society. I told him about the mystery of how I remembered my "past life" and how Shirogane Mihane was so insistent in trying to keep it a secret. This time, though, I kept my thoughts on how all of this was a coma-induced dream in order to not go into meta and complicated arguments.

His numerous theories dwindled to two. The first one said that my knowledge of my past prevented me from accepting my new life. This caused some dissonance between my mind and body, since my mind belonged to the Living World meanwhile my body belonged to Soul Society. It explained why I had horrible control at Kido, a shinigami art that relied mostly on the mind. According to this theory, if I wanted to become normal, I had to forget my past life, something I most definitely would not do.

The second theory was somehow more outlandish. Again, both my mind and body were split. This time, however, my knowledge of my past life had nothing to do with it. There was an earthly attachment keeping me on both planes of existence, making me neither dead nor alive. This connection was powerful enough to make my unconscious miss it terribly, again causing dissonance with my new body. Urahara said that thousands of years ago, there were people that had a propensity to attach themselves to the Living World so strongly that they went on to Soul Society with their memories intact. Eventually, this became a power passed down. The King, fearing that these people might cause a revolution, wiped them all out. He said that it is possible that the gene survived and was carried long enough, culminating with me. Nobody had ever tried it, but he thought that if I got rid of my earthly attachment, I would be able to become a normal shinigami. What this might do to my memory, though, was a mystery.

Out of the two theories, the second one seemed most bizarre to me. Yes, it was more detailed than the other one, but it made my condition sound more real. As if what I was experiencing had an explanation and this wasn't a dream. The first theory fit my perspective that I was in a coma: this is not my body but this is my mind and that's a bad mix. The second one made it sound like if I was _born _with it, that I've had it my _whole life._

It didn't fit at all with the game my mind created.

Urahara for some reason was intrigued with my condition. He had never met someone like me, so he wanted to see just how different I was. He had plans for me, I could feel it and it was as obvious as how the sky was blue, but what he wanted I didn't know.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, Costa-san. I have something in mind," he happily replied.

I was still wondering how in the world I was going to return to Seireitei. I was probably branded a deserter and a traitor, since I didn't return to them immediately. Coming back and having an excuse seemed like a problem.

"And how am I going to continue coming here to be experimented on? It's not like I can disappear every day to the Living World without an excuse, especially as an academy student," I continued, growing more apprehensive of this idea by the second. Besides, I was now positively sure that all of these people were enemies of Seireitei, willing or unwilling.

"Yet again, Costa-san. I have a plan, there's no reason for you to be anxious."

I asked in a small voice, "Your plans work, right?"

"Usually."

* * *

><p><strong>Gosh darn, I wanted to make Urahara a surprise but I can't hide anything from you guys. You leave me no choice but to make all of this a story and push Art into a mess she never asked for. It's all you guys' fault.<strong>

**I'll personally be replying to reviews again from now on, so please share your thoughts!**

**Until next time!  
>GAMF<strong>


	14. Calm Before the Storm

**Yup, I'm alive. I'm extremely sorry for the long wait**.

**I'd like to thank Regin, Konri Kari, Tia'RaHu, and An Echo In Time**

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday, September 14, 2004<em>

Airi stared at me with confusion. "I still don't understand."

I sighed. It didn't matter how many times I tried explaining it to her, there was still something she didn't understand or didn't _want _to. "What is it this time?"

"Ano . . . not that I doubt your skills at all, Art-chan, because I _don't, _but what makes you think the Twelfth will accept you?"

Now that we were in our fifth year, divisions started programs to attract prospective students. I already knew all there was for the Fifth and Sixth due to Aizen-taichou and Mihane, but I was completely clueless when it came up to the Twelfth. I admit I had been interested in it ever since some seated officers had started talking about their divisions earlier on in the year.

Anyway, the Twelfth Division had an internship program that only accepted five people from both years Six and Five. I was one of the best ones in science and mathematics in my class, due to the fact I had already taken most of what they studied in my high school years, and I had a good chance in getting in.

However, the Twelfth's internship, the Tenth's scouting trip to the Living World, and the First's leadership program where the hardest ones to get into, even if they didn't enjoy the same popularity as the Fifth's welcoming club and the Sixth's comprehensive history history lesson enjoyed. I could understand Airi's hesitance in leading me try; she had always attempted to protect me from failure.

Fortunately for me, I had continued slipping to the Living World thanks to a certain Sixth Division member. Because of Mihane (I don't even want to imagine all the trouble she went through _and _could get in if anyone ever found out) I had been able to learn many things from Urahara Kisuke and train even more under Shihoin Yoruichi, who turns out to be human (as I learned the hard way). My abysmal skills at Kido had been forgotten because my Hoho and Hakuda had skyrocketed, easily becoming the best in my class.

The only condition Yoruichi had given me to train under her was not to join the Second Division.

"Why," I had asked.

"I don't know why, but Soifon always managed to figure out who I was around by my _smell_. I don't think you'll ever pass through her nose for too long without her nostrils catching something."

And that had effectively convinced me to decide that I didn't even want to join the Omnitsukido anyway.

I even had an amazing project I had been dying to work on, which was the reason I wanted to take the internship in the first place.

"Don't worry, Airi; I know I'll be accepted."

"Wow, if you say it with more confidence I'm sure the interviewer will call it a day," Sachi amusedly said. She continued eating her dango as if she hadn't just made fun of my arrogance.

I scrunched up my nose. "Fine, so I _might _get inand I have _good competition_, but I still think I have a chance. Anyway, what are you two thinking about?"

Sachi spoke first, "I want invited to the Ninth's Sensing Tutoring. I heard Tousen-taicho personally teaches it. Besides, I get to bypass the interview, so I'll just go with that."

Being ranked third in Class One surely had its advantages.

"What about you, Airi?"

Her eyes widened. "The Eight's Social Gala sounds like so much fun! What a better way to meet the lively shinigami of Gotei 13?"

I refrained from telling Airi that Kyoraku-taicho only held it to meet cute girls. Airi _is _cute, but I don't think she truly understands what the captain has in mind.

"Shouldn't you be making your way to the Twelfth?" Sachi thought out loud.

"It's in two hours."

"We all know you're horrible with directions. If I were you I would start walking."

My shoulders visibly deflated, finding truth in her words. Even though I had stayed in Seireitei for nearly five years, I barely knew my way around here. The only places I knew how to get to where the Gin Tonbo and the Fifth Division. On a good day, I could get to the Sixth without having too much trouble.

I put some Kan in the table and excused myself, starting my trek towards the Twelfth Division.

If Seireitei made sense, the Twelfth would be next to the Eleventh and close to the Thirteenth. Besides, there were always shinigami walking around. Surely they wouldn't mind lending a hand to an Academy student.

"Oh, look who's here! A Shino kid lost?"

I refrained from groaning. "Please, I _really _don't want to get any trouble. I'm just making my way towards the Twelfth."

The nameless shinigami looked at me with disgusted brown eyes. "Why would you want to go to that freak place?"

Anger started coursing through my veins; trust this ignorant to downplay scientific research! "Maybe I'm interested in freaks, none of your business. Now, if you're not going to help, let me go."

The shinigami, finally figuring that he wouldn't get me to fight, gave an exasperated sigh and left, grumbling something about "them getting weaker each year." Ha, I would teach him.

I turned around and started walking another way when someone put a hand on my shoulder. Surprised at the sudden contact, I turned around and I saw a guy wearing a lab coat with a ponytail at the top of his head.

"Sorry for scaring you. I'm Tsubokura Rin, part of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute. Not many people stand up to us, which makes me deduce you're in for the internship?"

Astute as always. "Yeah, I'm Costa Artemis. I'm not very good with directions, so do you mind helping me out?"

Rin laughed. "I was going to the Twelfth anyway. Sure, follow me."

The walk mostly went by in silence. It was mostly because I was lost in my own thoughts. I knew the project I had in mind was good, Urahara had said so and helped me develop it, but I still didn't know what my competition had in mind. So far I heard the Academy students usually brought forth many bright experiments. After all, who would resist if you're offered to have your research funded one hundred percent? The offer was way too good to pass up.

"Do you have anything in mind for your project, Costa-san?"

I nodded. "I want to study the fundamental differences between reishi particles and atoms to better control and understand reiryoku."

Rin whistled. "That's quite out of the box. Not many Academy students know that much about fundamental particles. They think it's useless, which I can understand since we're not made out of atoms, but such information comes in handy when creating a gigai and other equipment for our Living World operations."

"I like studying in my spare time," I lied. No use in saying I took advanced Chemistry and Physics back in the real world. "But I never question the usefulness of something, because eventually when I find out I needed it, I don't want to be the person regretting it."

He smiled. "So you're good learning things, but are you any good discovering new things?"

I chuckled. "Who knows? That's what I'm here for."

"Well, we're here."

Confused, I immediately came to a stop. The SRDI or the Twelfth Division were nowhere to be seen. In fact, we were standing in the middle of the street and shinigami were starting to give us weird looks. "I think there's a mistake, Tsubokura-san . . . oh, that's what happened."

"Sharp," he commented lightly before laughing. "Yes, our interview is over. We pride ourselves in having the upper-hand all the time and I admit I knew who you were all along. We value grades and knowledge, which are impressive in your case, but character and perseverance are important traits when heading into the research field. I can't count the number of people, graduates or students, who give up because they don't get the results they expected or needed.

"We will take your application into consideration, Costa Artemis. You know your way back, right?"

I gave him a lopsided grin. "I have time."

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, September 25, 2004<em>

"Baachan!"

"Oh, Art-chan, aren't you a bundle of joy today. What happened?"

In my excitement, I completely ignored Hitsugaya's presence in the room. I felt him glare daggers at him, but that was not an uncommon occurrence anyway, so I continued without caring. "I got accepted!"

Hanari's usually lidded eyes opened and she smiled widely. "See, we knew you would get accepted."

"Accepted at what?" the white-haired boy finally asked, succumbing to his curiosity.

I drank the jasmine tea that Hanari had prepared for me as if she already knew I was coming. It completely refreshed my ecstatic nerves and I answered calmly, "The Twelfth's internship program."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why didn't you apply for mine?"

I gave him a knowing look. "Like it or not, you would've accepted me by default. What's the challenge in that?"

"This coming from one of the laziest recruits I have ever met."

Our grandmother giggled. "Shiro-chan, don't you think people can change?"

He visibly cringed and shivered. It was so hard to tease the younger boy; he reminded me of a more mature Al, in his own twisted way. "Until you stop calling me Shiro-chan, I won't believe that people can change."

"That's a bad example, and you know it," I pointed out.

The captain grumbled something under his breath and then sighed. "Anyway, I'm curious; what's your project?"

I gave them a simple example of what the research was about and how I was setting it up. I even pitched in why I was so interested in doing this project: if the results were favorable, I could learn how to manipulate my reiryoku and figure out just what was wrong with me. Kada, who was still my remediate Kido teacher (because if I could describe Shino in one word it would be _stubborn_), had refrained from telling the Academy about the sucking and volatile nature of my reiryoku only because I had begged him to the point that of signing a paper saying I was responsible for my own health.

However, I refrained to talk about my deteriorating health.

The decay had started ever since I visited the Living World. Urahara had even noted that my reiatsu was getting slightly weaker every time I visited. It was a good thing that the change was so gradual no one ever noticed, but I had a sneaking suspicion Hitsugaya was aware of something but was too afraid of saying it in front of Hanari. I also made sure to always leave before the captain, my usual excuses being that I was late to some meeting or I had to practice with Sachi, and so far I hadn't been called out on it.

My reiryoku was disappearing _somewhere, _and if I didn't find the source quick enough I would die.

"Sounds interesting! When do you start?" Hanari asked, completely engrossed with what I had told her. Knowledge like this was new to "souls" like Hanari, who had lived in Soul Society for hundreds of years, way before any scientific discoveries.

I finished my tea. "Beginning of next year. They need to set up the experiment, get the money, and fill the proper paperwork, which apparently takes around four months. Not that I'm complaining; gives me more time to think things through."

Hitsugaya stood up. "Well, I must be going. Goodbye, Baachan!"

"Bye, Shiro-chan! Take care!" I knew Hanari had omitted reminding the captain to visit more often because recently he _had_.

"Later, Hitsugaya-taichou."

"Actually, Costa, I was wondering if you could come with me."

I grimaced. Oh, no, sorry captain, I just _can't_, I wanted to say. "Sure," I calmly replied.

After I had bowed to Hanari, I almost dragged my feet outside to where the small captain was waiting for me. He had his arms crossed and was looking elsewhere, but once he was I was out he started walking back to Seireitei without waiting for me.

We were past the guards when he finally talked. "There's something we need to talk about."

I hummed nonchalantly. "Is that so?"

"You know it too."

"Oh, do I?"

The temperature dropped a few degrees. "Don't play dumb, Costa. You're playing a dangerous game and you know it. I won't let you hurt her."

I looked down to glare at the captain. "Oh, so now it's my fault, huh? It's funny, Hitsugaya-_taichou_, that you would think that I want to die."

With smug satisfaction I took in his surprised gaze. "Dying? Is it that serious?"

"Only because I've hid it so well for a couple of years now. Once I'm out of reiryoku I'm done for."

"Is there any way to prevent it?"

A wistful sigh escaped my lips. "I wish, but so far I don't know. That's why I really need this research opportunity. It may be my only chance." Even though the prospect of dying didn't here scare me as much as in real life, I had gotten so comfortable in this place that only having a guaranteed way back would convince me to return to the real world.

"What if it doesn't work?"

"Then I try to find another way. Don't worry too much; I don't want to leave baachan alone either."

He stopped walking and turned to look at me, his turquoise eyes piercing my own. Satisfied with my apparent resolve, he turned and started walking the way to his division, not before grumbling his own goodbye.

Honestly, would it hurt to admit he was a _tiny _bit worried about me for himself? These type of kids were always so infuriating.

* * *

><p><em>Friday, October 8, 2004<em>

"Oh, Costa-san! I forgot to tell you I can't have our calligraphy class today."

I stared at Aizen in confusion. He was leaving his classroom and I was conveniently walking through. In fact, I had completely forgotten about his lessons for the last two weeks. "Honestly, I think that I've learned enough under your tutelage."

He chuckled amiably and pushed his glasses further up his nose. "I know, but I would still prefer if we continued, at least until the end of your Shino years. I have arranged your special visit to the Gotei's Calligraphy Club."

I held in a sigh. I hated calligraphy and anything related to visual art; joining a club _about _it wasn't in my to-do list. "Do I really have to go?"

"It would make me very _sad _if you didn't."

Couldn't hurt to try it. "Fine, at what time is it?"

"It starts in forty minutes. Since the manor is on my way, I can take you there."

We started walking, with Aizen leading and I trailing slightly behind. "Manor?"

"Are you acquainted with Kuchiki-taichou?"

I thought back at the only time Ginjiro had asked me to deliver those sunglasses. I vaguely remembered but I was positive he had forgotten. "Not really, I've only heard about him."

"That's where we're going right now."

This week had been going from good to bad quite quickly. Now I regretted not finding an excuse to get out of this one. It's not that I disliked the cold captain, but I didn't want to make a bad impression, especially since Mihane had convinced me to apply for the Sixth to be closer to her.

I was sure my lack of skills would irritate him.

Oh, and the fact that I was expected to be more respectful to him on the basis that he was a noble aggravated me. I wasn't a twentieth century person to continue thinking that some people were better than me because they were _born _with better blood. I accept Soul Society's customs but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.

"We're here," he announced, stopping outside the gates of what seemed a huge compound.

A couple of guards dressed in purple attire approached us. "Aizen-taichou, in what may we help you?"

"I'm dropping off an important student of mine to the class."

The guards gave me an inquisitive stare. "Very well, follow me," the tallest of the two said.

I bowed slightly to Aizen and walked behind the guard, making sure to not stare in wonderment at the huge place ahead. It was like a mini-city, with many houses and trees. Right after we passed the _river, _I started seeing a manor, most likely where the main family lived.

A woman was waiting for me at the front, bowing lower than what the usual person would. I was confused, but I refrained from voicing my thoughts. "This way, Costa-sama."

She turned and started walking but stopped when she saw I wasn't following. "Is something wrong, Costa-sama?"

"Costa-san is fine, ano . . . what's your name?"

Now it was her turn to be surprised. "Why are you asking so many questions? I'm just a servant guiding you to the class. Also, please don't ask me to that, Costa-sama; the Kuchiki family prides itself with the upmost respect we provide our guests. Now, would you please follow me."

Figuring that she wasn't going to let me talk anymore, I trailed behind her, making sure to keep quiet. The manor was huge but at the same time it felt empty. Not many people lived here if the amount of reiatsu I could feel were any indication.

The woman opened a shoji door and stepped aside, allowing me to enter. There were five people sitting in front of the doors in what I had come to dub the "Japanese Formal Sitting" (was actually called Seiza, but that wasn't descriptive for me).

Out of the four people, two were wearing haoris and two were all too familiar.

"Art? What are you doing here?" Renji inquired with wide eyes.

I scoffed and walked to my place next to him. "I should be asking you the same thing. No offense, but I never would've thought you would be into this."

"Costa-san is right. What are you doing here?" Rukia continued with a confused stare.

Apparently this all made him nervous. "Ack! I told you! Taichou invited me."

One of the captains leaned in and stared at me with a smile. She was a woman with her black hair braided so that it flowed in front of her and kind blue eyes. "And who might this young lady be?"

I chuckled nervously. "Costa Artemis. Sorry for not introducing myself any sooner, Unohana-taichou."

"Oh, you're the one Kuchiki-san teaches every once in a while?" the white-haired captain asked.

"Hai, I'm not very good at Kido, but at least no one is in danger if I have to use it."

Ukitake laughed lightly. "I know, Costa-san. I oversee Shino and I've heard some things about you. No worries, nothing bad at all," he added when he saw my horrified expression.

"I've done a good job, haven't I?"

"You're too little to do anything right, Rukia."

"What did you say? I always beat you in Kido!"

"Only because I don't have eyes in my stomach!"

Their reiatsu started going out of control and I started inching farther away. If a fight broke out, I would be the first one to shunpo out of the place. Unohana and Ukitake completely ignored them, opting to chat amiably with each other instead.

Fortunately, before they could go any farther, a captain-level reiatsu appeared outside the door, completely stopping Renji and Rukia.

The shoji door opened and the cold captain stepped in, making his way to the middle and sitting down. A group of helpers walked behind him and laid down special paper, an ink well, and a brush in front of us. They then bowed and quickly scurried away.

"I apologize for the delay; let us start."

Whatever mood the room had before he entered completely left, with Rukia and Renji both sobering. Ukitake and Unohana still had their own relaxed smiles, immersing themselves in their work. Kuchiki had his eyes closed but he still managed to make beautiful and purposeful strokes as if he knew where his hands exactly were.

I just stared at the paper in front of me. Even Renji was trying his best at this, something I didn't think was possible. Well, if he's trying his best, then so should I.

Out of all the characters I could choose, I chose tabi, the one for journey. The character was harder than what I was used to, but I had practiced it so much that I had memorized the strokes and was able to create my best masterpiece, which was not that great but I had still managed to beat Renji.

The character looked beautiful and I seriously considered framing it. Sure, it wasn't _that _great, but if someone saw the beginnings of my writing when I first entered Soul Society, they wouldn't believe me and say I was stealing someone else's work.

Since I still had more paper left, I decided to continue with my streak. This time, I drew the tsuki symbol, meaning moon. My middle name, Artemis, had much to do with the moon. After all, she was sometimes represented as the Greek goddess of the moon. It was merely coincidence that she and Apollo were my favorite gods from the Greek pantheon. She was one of the only goddesses who actually did something related to fighting, mainly being hunting.

A punch to my shoulder brought me out of my reverie. I turned to glare at Renji. "What was that for?"

"Ukitake-taichou has been trying to talk to you for almost five minutes but you just keep staring at that paper like if the answers to the next test would suddenly pop out!"

I looked around. Rukia had already left and Unohana was making small talk with Kuchiki. Ukitake had his eyes closed and was giving me an embarrassed smile. I tried not to blush but failed miserably. "Sorry, Ukitake-taichou. Is there something you wanted to ask me?"

"I've heard from Aizen-taichou that kanji doesn't come to you easily, so I was surprised to see that you make lovely characters and wanted to ask how much you've been practicing."

"Three times a week for almost six years." It had taken much discipline and encouragement from both Aizen and Hanari to continue with those rigorous hours full of frustration.

He looked surprised. "Not many young people do those types of things, especially with kanji. It's mostly a lost art."

I mentally shrugged; what can I say, I had grown to like it. Besides, it wasn't like I had a choice; as long as I was stuck in this traditional Japanese place, I needed to learn their customs before people started finding out that there were many wrong things about me. "It's very interesting to me."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Renji hold in a snort. He could sometimes be such a freak. I was about to ask him what was so funny when Ukitake interrupted, seemingly oblivious, "You should join when you graduate! I'm sure it would make Kuchiki-taichou happy."

Both Renji and I stiffened when we felt his eyes in our direction. Oh, no, I don't think that man was _ever _happy, and if he was, he would never show it. "I admit that more dedicated members would bring the club more weight in representative meetings. Perhaps my fukutaichou would be so kind as to temporarily join and seek some members?"

It took all of my composure to not laugh at Renji's poorly hidden terrified face.

"Of course, I'm expecting the Shino student to seek some members once she joins as well."

This is all your fault, Aizen.

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday, November 10, 2004<em>

Our zanpakutou clashed together, the sound ringing in the Zanjutsu training room. Airi had just been ranked number one in her class after working on her skills. She had been offered a spot in Class One but she had declined because she felt that she did better with the atmosphere she was in.

It didn't help that she shared such a good bond with her zanpakuto. I had heard many teachers whispering amongst each other that they were positive Ichihara Airi would learn her zanpakuto's name by the end of her Academy years. On the other hand, although I excelled at Zanjutsu compared to my fellow classmates, I had barely been able to materialize my zanpakuto and it still hadn't even talked to me once.

Not that I needed its power. I was doing fine trying to find a way back to my world. I didn't need another "guide" helping me out.

Pain exploded on my chest and I instinctively used shunpo to make some space between both of us. Airi had managed to slash me diagonally, slightly ripping my clothes. The wound was shallow, but it didn't stop blood from spraying.

Like the pool of blood I remembered seeing my body in.

"Art!" Airi yelled.

I clutched my chest and fell to one knee. Alright, maybe it hurt a little more than I was admitting. "I'm okay, I just need some help."

Luckily, the Zanjutsu training room had a Fourth Division member all for ourselves. The petite girl ran up to me and started healing the wound, the green glow bringing a sense of peace inside me.

My friend, however, wouldn't stop apologizing.

"Really, Airi, don't worry. It's my fault this happened, I should've been paying more attention."

She frowned. "Yeah, you've been out of it the last few spars. Even Sachi says there's something off about you. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, I'm just a little annoyed that my zanpakuto hasn't talked to me once this whole time. Everyone in Class One except me has talked to their zanpakuto at least once."

It was a blatant lie, I couldn't care less at what others were doing, but it served as the perfect cover. I didn't want Airi and Sachi worrying about things they shouldn't. Besides, I was distracted by my musings, something that had been happening more lately.

"If that's it, then we should use this time to practice Jinzen! You'll be able to talk to your zanpakuto easily that way."

"It still hasn't come to me in a dream."

"Your zanpakuto is not coming to you, but that doesn't mean you can't reach out to it. Every relationship is different, don't you think?"

I looked up at her brown eyes in confusion. I hadn't thought about it that way before. There really is no strict way of doing things when it comes to zanpakuto because every person is different and so is their sword. There were certain guidelines, yes, things shinigami found that were common, but that didn't mean that there were exceptions to the rules and it wasn't even that rare to find those.

Perhaps my zanpakuto was just as elusive and uninterested as I was.

"Hm, maybe you're right. Alright, Jinzen sounds great."

The small Fourth Division woman finished healing my wound and gave me an approving stare. "Yes, staying out of strenuous activity will help it close completely. Please be more careful next time." With that she left back to her post at the corner of the dojo. There were other people fighting after all.

Airi offered her hand to help to help me up and I accepted. "We should go somewhere quiet. I hear the Seventh District of West Rukongai is great."

With that we left Shino and started making our way to West Rukongai in silence. Although I had been distracted, there is no way I should've missed that strike Airi made. My senses were too sharp for that to go unnoticed, even if my mind was elsewhere. Perhaps I should move my visit to Urahara's to an earlier date, although I know Mihane won't be happy about that one.

"We're here!"

The fields indeed looked relaxing. The delicious Fall winds added to the feeling and it took much out of me to not run to the grass and fall asleep in it.

Wordlessly Airi sat down in a butterfly position and put her zanpakuto across both her legs. I immediately followed and copied the stance, carefully laying my katana in front of me. The wooden sheathe, or saya, was a midnight black but the hilt, or tsuka, was golden with white a write wrapping, or samegawa, making it appear white with some golden triangles. The tsuba was a simple circle with no intricate design, but it had some drawings at the top and bottom that made it look like silver lightning.

I saw Airi already lost in meditation and frowned when I turned to look at my katana. I closed my eyes and breathed in, trying to calm down and reach my zanpakuto, my "soul," which was harder than what it seemed.

The grass was soft and the weather was inviting. Maybe if I rested a little bit I would be able to meditate and reach my sword. It would hurt no one if I took a nap.

The sound of waves crashing made me immediately open my eyes. I was no longer in the Seventh District of West Rukongai; I was in a beach. The sand was soft and white and the water was the most beautiful blue I had ever seen. The sun was shining brightly but I didn't feel the heat reach me; the beach had the perfect temperature.

I looked at myself and saw that I was no longer had my Academy uniform. Instead I had the clothes I had worn the day of the shooting. My lavender jacket and navy blue jeans weren't stained in blood and my shoes had were as dirty as I always remembered them.

I turned to the right and saw something that made me double take. Not believing my eyes, I started running towards it and touched the shiny dark wood lightly. I sat down in front of it and played some keys, my hands rusty from not playing in so long. However, after what felt like hours of playing, I started regaining my style and tempo and my fingers started creating a melody unconsciously.

After I gained some more confidence, I changed the tuning in the piano to C-sharp minor with the convenient tuner that laid under my bench and started playing the first Chopin piece I had learned: Fantasie Impromptu, Op 66. Sure, after the intro that everyone knew by heart I started messing up slightly, missing some keys or getting out of beat, but that didn't matter. I was playing piano and the world made sense again.

When the tempo picked up I started laughing. Not the usual laughs that the people from Soul Society got out of me, but full blown laughter that I didn't know I still had. I guess I felt _happy_.

I never wanted to leave this place.

The sky immediately darkened and it started pouring, the rain pelting my face. I could see lightning in the distance and the loud rumble of the thunder let me know that it was in fact closer than what I imagined. The waters turned turbulent and the sand beneath me darkened with dirt.

"You shouldn't wish for things you don't want," a deep voice said.

To my left laying down on the sand was a big white wolf, curled up in sleep. Some of its mane, which appeared more like white light, was swaying due to the wind.

"Who are you?" I asked suspiciously. Perhaps it is my zanpakuto spirit?

The wolf uncurled and stretched, moaning happily in content. It then sat and stared at me with intelligent gold eyes, tall enough to reach my shoulders even though I was sitting in a bench. "The question is, who are _you_?"

I glared at the animal. "Ha, ha, very funny, thinking you can pass off as a sage. I asked first."

He feigned innocence. "No, I'm serious. Who are you?"

Fine, I'll amuse him for a while. "I'm Costa Artemis." The wind intensified and my long hair started whipping my face.

"Since when does your name define who you are? I honestly thought you had all the answers figured out if you decided to seek me."

Ah, so I was right. "You're my zanpakuto spirit and you won't even attempt to tell me your name, right?"

The wolf chuckled. "Correct. If it makes you feel any better, I'm positive you wouldn't be able to hear it anyway." The wolf stood up and started walking away, its mane whipping behind him making him look majestic. "I understand that you're not interested in knowing me because I'm not interested in you, but I am aware of certain information even you're not privy to, Beatrice."

I stared at it in shock. "How . . .?"

Lightning hit the wolf and its body became made out of electricity, the mane now the source of volatile lightning striking many places, but never twice. "The answer was always in you, but I know things that you have forgotten or failed to notice." He prepared itself to jump.

"Wait!"

"I'm not afraid to die."

He jumped towards the sky with incredible speed, the dark clouds disappearing with him. The waters calmed down but they were now a deep murky color instead of the crystal blue they once were. The sand was no longer white and soft but now a dark brown and rough. It was now cold and the sun was starting to set. Even the piano in front of me had disappeared.

"So you took all the distractions away from me, huh? I guess I owe you a thank you," I whispered to the wind, knowing that the wolf heard me.

I blinked and when I opened my eyes I was back in the Seventh District staring at Airi's grinning face. The sky was dark, a telltale sign that I _had _been there for hours.

"How was it?" Airi asked with barely restrained curiosity.

I cocked my head to the side. "Confusing." Yes, it perfectly captured what I had thought of my meeting.

She giggled. "Yup, that usually happens. I even saw _sparks_ coming off of you. I'm sure you had quite the encounter."

I touched hair and sure it enough it was frizzed, more so than usual. "I guess I figured out why my reiatsu always caused my hair to frizz."

The younger girl pointed at her own hair, laughing in delight at my horror. Hers was too! "No worries, Art-chan! It's all worth it."

* * *

><p><em>Thursday, December 30, 2004<em>

I stepped out of the Dangai, grateful that I had been fast enough this time to avoid Kototsu. The first time I had traveled through Urahara's Senkaimon I had almost gotten eaten by that thing. Luckily, Mihane had managed to find a way to bribe some unseated shinigami in charge of the Dangai to deactivate all the dangers of the Dangai for a few moments, allowing me to pass safely.

Ever since he had dragged me here, I always appeared in Urahara's shop. It was the only place Soul Society could not reach because of the mad scientist's genius.

Said scientist was already waiting for me in his underground training facility. "Costa-san~! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It's speeding up. I can now perform Kido, but it's mostly because I have little reiryoku left in me."

He hit me in the back of the head with his fan. "Why didn't you come any sooner, if it's so serious?"

I glared at him, rubbing the back of my head. "I dunno if you forgot, but coming to the Living World as an Academy student is almost impossible. Today was the earliest I could come."

"I felt a weak presence that felt like Artemis," the deep voice of Yoruichi's cat form joined in. The black animal jumped on top of Urahara's hat and sat on it. "Imagine my surprise when I found out she was here."

My fists clenched. "I'm unsure whether or not I can last another year, so that means that I won't be able to complete the project. Is there anything you've found, Urahara-san?"

The man put his fan in front of his face, barely making his eyes visible. "I found something, but I had planned on telling you later."

"Well, where is it?" I asked with barely restrained annoyance. Trust him to hide something important from me.

"In America," Yoruichi answered. "Specifically, in the city you said you used to live in."

* * *

><p><strong>Now, warning, a rather long AN coming here. You can choose to skip it but I also need some opinions, so if anything read the end. Also, spoilers for the most recent chapter in the manga.<strong>

**~Start spoilers~**

**Yesterday I mourned. I had always been slightly unattached to characters in the stories I read because they're that, characters. I shed a tear or two when I read Dumbledore's death, but that was it. However, seeing Byakuya dying that tragic death just broke my heart. It was torture reading 501 and then having my suspicions confirmed in 502. I couldn't even enjoy Kenpachi's amazing entrance because I was so shocked. It's weird, because I criticize books like Breaking Dawn who don't kill any important characters, but when my favorite character of two years dies I become this mess. His death inspired me to catch up with this story, but it was heartbreaking going to Bleach Wiki and reading in their Sixth Division page Byakuya Kuchiki-Deceased. I'm sad that he died, but at the same time Tite Kubo just hooked me again with the manga.**

**But oh darn just when I was starting to dig Byakuya's look even more he just died like that. I'm just happy the anime ended, that way I don't have to see him die with voices and music and sounds and ugh . . .**

**I think it's our job to keep him alive. I had thought about giving him a minor role in the story (even though he's listed as main character) for fear that I would make him OOC or something, but fuck that, I trust my writing skills enough now.**

**~End Spoilers~**

**As you probably saw, there's a big timeskip going on here. Mostly because nothing interesting happened in those four years except more training and learning. I'll make sure to flesh out those four years in the chapters to come. Also, the "Atheist" part of Art's life is coming to an end since she'll find out the truth very soon, and it won't be pretty. Anyway, here's where you as the reader come in: should I continue until the main Bleach story or finish once Art's role ends? I'm fine with both, but as a writer I admit that I have an obligation to you dedicated readers to enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoy writing it. No worries, with both choices there will be satisfactory endings. With the second choice, I'll make sure everything is almost exactly the same but see what's happening in the background.**

**Because that's what this story is about. It's not about someone saving the world, but about what my perspective is of a shinigami's life.**

**I can see around 4 more chapters for the first choice, but so many more for the other.**

**Now, I love you guys and will write regardless, but any constructive criticism or opinions would be great. I need to become better so that we both enjoy this story.**

**Toodles!**

**GAMF**


	15. Future

**As promised, here's the next update. **

**Special thanks to Flameses, tellie, Emzy2k11, and An Echo In Time for reviewing.**

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><p>"Are you sure this is going to work?"<p>

"Please, Costa-kun, we've avoided detection for around a century. They won't feel anything."

I fidgeted uncomfortably as Yoruichi lifted me and carried over her shoulder. "I wouldn't doubt what Kisuke says. He may be mad, but he's gotten us out of trouble before."

"You wound me, Yoruichi-san. But yes, I have tried it before and this serves as a wonderful test run. Besides, we don't have a choice; if you had come any earlier we would've planned this out."

Seeing that Urahara was pinning all the blame on me, I wisely decided to shut up. Since we didn't have too much time, Urahara had decided to shunpo the entirety of the Pacific Ocean. This was a feat the two of them could no doubt do in their sleep, but for my weak self this was as close to impossible. Yoruichi had kindly offered to carry me like a potato sack across meanwhile Urahara was supposed to lead.

My main worry was attracting Soul Society's attention on us, since our appearance would raise some eyebrows over there. Luckily, Urahara had developed a bracelet a couple years ago to mask the reiatsu without the use of a gigai. Of course Urahara had never properly tested it, hence my worry.

"Well, the clock is ticking and I want to be back before dinner. Let's go," Urahara calmly said, disappearing in a blur.

I blinked. "Gosh, that was fast. I wonder if–– ugh!" I immediately closed my eyes before I vomited at the speed we were going. Yoruichi was so fast I couldn't even properly feel the wind. In five seconds my sight was water instead of ground, and in another two hundred or so we were back in land.

"That was quite exciting, right, Yoruichi-san, Costa-kun?"

Even though I was busy catching my breath, I could _feel _Yoruichi's grin. "We should do that again! That was very fun!"

My pants were embarrassing. "Can we please stop for a while and rest? I'm sure you guys are tired after traveling around thousands of kilometers."

Urahara chuckled. "Honestly, I'm a bit winded, but we need to get to the source of your reiatsu. Luckily, it's extremely close by. How fortunate."

"Fresno is south from here, I believe, if we ran in a straight line," I managed to say.

Both of them were quiet for a while and I inwardly cursed that I could only see Yoruichi's behind, which although it was a sight I would be elated to see as a guy, it was extremely annoying if I wanted to know what was going on.

Before I could even ask them something I felt myself moving at dizzying speeds and died a little inside. Luckily, this time the trip was extremely short and as soon as we stopped Yoruichi gently put me down.

I plopped down on the floor and looked around. The place was familiar (it was my hometown after all) but I mostly never passed through here before. "Why are we in front of the hospital?"

He looked down at me but I could barely see his eyes with that hat he wore. "This is where I feel the reiatsu. Believe me, I'm bewildered myself." His trademark grin made me deduce that he was most definitely _not _confused and rather knew something that he didn't want to tell me.

Now I was curious.

Without waiting for them (they could catch up anyway), I walked through the glass doors, my body feeling slightly weird with the contact. There was something in this hospital that I unconsciously recognized and thus trusted my feet to do the walking without worrying too much about it.

I started hesitating with my steps once I realized I was in a more somber area. There were more nurses and doctors in the area, circling the rooms that contained the bedridden patients. I willed my body to stop before I went through the glass doors of the ICU department of the hospital. Gulping, I stepped through and ignored the tingling. The deep feeling of dread and anxiousness I always got when I visited this world intensified as I neared something important.

**_There are things that you have forgotten that your body hasn't_**, a deep voice resonated inside my head. **_You've been paying the price for this confusion and there's a bigger one in the end, I'm afraid_**_._

_Pay the price?_

**_Follow your instincts, as you're not wont to do._**

Irritated at my zanpakuto's ominous words, I decided not to continue the conversation. I was positive he knew something about my person and didn't want to tell me, a trait that almost everyone I had come across shared.

Eventually my body came to a complete stop in front of a glass door. The inside of the room had a window that overlooked the city. Under the windows were two wooden chairs that by their crooked position seemed recently used. There were many IVs and other medical care units attached to the someone in the bed. The person's face was obscured my all the machines surrounding their face.

Consumed by curiosity, I calmed down my growing anxiety and stepped through the glass doors. There was a loud beeping sound signaling a heartbeat. I was no doctor, but the number in the screen was too low to be healthy. I walked closer to the body, trying to finally see this mystery person I was so stressed about and finally appease my––

Impossible.

No, no, no, this can't be happening, surely can't be real.

It doesn't make any sense. . .

**_And at the same time it does. If you hadn't been so stubborn perhaps you would've found out earlier and the price for this _****game ****_of yours wouldn't have been so high_**_._

My eyes were impossibly wide, I knew that. Eyes can be deceiving, though; illusions happen all the time. Maybe if I touched it––

"Don't touch her, Costa-kun; if you do, you'll be sucked in and I won't be able to get you out," Urahara said in an uncharacteristically serious voice.

I frowned and turned around. "You knew about this? Why wouldn't you tell me?"

He grinned but quickly hid it behind that infuriating fan of his. "Would you have believed me? You've spent six years living in your self-made fantasy and wouldn't let this humble shop keeper destroy it."

"I admit I was surprised when Kisuke told me, but I guess it makes sense," Yoruichi continued appearing out of nowhere in front of my bed.

I turned my head and looked at my body. My face was a ghosty white and my long brown hair had lost the shine it used to have. A white blanket covered my body but my arms were free, although I hoped they weren't. "I've been in a coma all along but . . . So it was all a lie? I've been living a lie?"

Urahara chuckled. "You made it yourself, Costa-kun. I believe Shirogane-san told you repeatedly that it was real."

"How do you know?"

"Kisuke swore her to secrecy, but there's a reason the Senkaimon has been sending you right into the shoten, my little naive apprentice."

I scowled but offered no response, instead opting to focus on my closed lids. My face was older but it had lost so much fat that now my face was bony and my cheeks were hollow. "I refuse to believe this."

"Now you're just being pigheaded. Accept the facts even if they go against your beliefs, Artemis. You should know that better than anyone."

My reply was cut off by the truthfulness in my teacher. As much as I hated to admit it, Yoruichi was right in pointing out that the evidence was numerous. Dreaming about seeing myself in that bed was stretching reality too far. At least in Soul Society I could blame all of the inconsistencies in the machinations of my mind, but all of this looked too real to _not be_.

"There's still something that doesn't make sense: how is this related to my loss of power?"

My two mentors were already sitting down under the window. Yoruichi had her eyes closed but Urahara was looking intently at me. "Remember what I've been telling you, that something is stealing your reiryoku? Well, it turns out it was your physical body. You survived the attack on your person with the technology of the Living World, but by then your soul was long gone and in Soul Society. After living without its soul for so much time years it started needing sustenance, and that nourishment came in the form of reiryoku.

"The first time you came to the Living World caused an extreme strain on you. Hoping to warn you, your body drew in an unimaginable amount of reiryoku, but it only caused you to faint. Since then it has been drawing steady amounts."

I frowned. "Then I should've ceased to exist a long time ago. I can't restore my reiryoku _that _fast."

"You could say it was _shared_. A long time ago, there were a group of people that kept their memories from their past life because they shared a special connection with their bodies. This, of course, could've put in jeopardy the secret status of Soul Society, since they remembered their Soul Society life in their human reincarnation. The soutaichou before Yamamoto ordered their extermination, once again protecting the balance of nature.

"There's a link between your soul and your body more powerful than a Chain of Fate because you are a descendant of the powerless survivors of the purge from both your mother and father, I believe. The constant transfer of reiryoku from the Living World and Soul Society rendered it completely useless for matters that need concentration such as Kido. If this body continues living then you will never be able to use reiryoku.

"But," he continued before I could say anything, "there is something that would seem beneficial to you from this link: memories. Shirogane Mihane's konso wiped your memories from your soul but not your body. Since you're still technically alive, you still remember your past life."

"What if I merge with my body?"

Urahara faltered slightly and Yoruichi replied instead. "You could. Your body is weak from years of not being used, but with time you could recover. However," she opened her eyes and stared intensely at me, "Soul Society will not tolerate you. They will call you an abomination and wipe you from existence. Of course, Urahara could completely seal your memories of everything in the past six years and then you could honestly say this whole time was spent in a coma. He could drain every single drop of reiryoku inside of you, even the unnatural amount you had as a human, thus protecting you from Soul Society. The choice is yours, for once."

**_I'm not afraid to die, Beatrice, but I wouldn't like to continue living like this. My powers rely on precise manipulation of your reiryoku, reiatsu, and reishi. If what Urahara Kisuke said is true, then that body has to seize to exist in order to further your growth and make you a formidable shinigami_**_._

_That means I would forget everyone, though. Mom, Dad, Nonno, Janice, Al, my future as a pianist . . . They are my reason for existing_.

**_It wouldn't matter if you forgot them forever. How can you miss something you never had? Their memories are weighing you down, preventing you from becoming stronger. You cannot live in the past if it's going to impede you from enjoying the present and planning for the future. Such thoughts should only be left for those without a tomorrow, something you most definitely have. Either you choose to live in the Living World without knowledge of Soul Society and the bonds you formed there or you continue in Soul Society without the memories of the people of your past. That is the way things are meant to be and there is a reason for it._**

. . .

_I guess you're right. I owe everyone in Soul Society. I became attached even though I thought it wasn't real. Such is the price you meant for fooling around, right?_

**_Yes, but perhaps it couldn't be avoided. Choose wisely, Beatrice; in this one there is no in-between._**

I tore my gaze from the shiny floor and returned Urahara and Yoruichi's stare. No doubt they were curious to hear my decision. With both decisions I lost knowledge, something that honestly made me want to shudder.

My mouth opened and closed, still not sure of my decision. It was one where there was no right or wrong. There was pain and uncertainty in choosing but the outcomes were full of happiness.

"There's no use living in the past," I finally announced. My two mentors looked at me with curiosity. "It's impossible to predict how much I'll change with eighteen years of my life gone but I owe it to everyone. I can't simply turn my back on the people who helped me become strong."

Urahara put his fan in front of his face, but he probably had the same wide grin Yoruichi was sporting. "Don't worry, Artemis! I won't let you forget those tiny tidbits of your personality, such as the reason why you dislike nobles so much or your aggravating need to know everything."

My cheeks heated, embarrassed at how true her words were. "I should probably write down some things for my future self to see; I honestly don't trust either of you telling me some lies for your own amusement."

Yoruichi pouted and Urahara started fanning himself, allowing me to see his wounded look, no doubt a fake. "You're quite mean! Is this how you repay all the time spent molding you into who you are?"

I chuckled but didn't reply. I turned to look at the machine keeping me alive. When I disconnected it I will lose a lot but keep what means to me the most right now. No choice was the right one, but I feel content with my decision.

I heard the glass door open followed by a small gasp.

"B-Bea?"

Slowly, I whirled to face the newcomer.

". . . Al?"

* * *

><p><strong>So finally some things have been explained. Hope it made sense. I dropped some hints occasionally but overall I made sure not to write too much.<strong>

**From what I could read in the reviews, 3 want me to continue and 1 thinks it'll better be off before Art becomes a side character. Tellie, however, did have a good point since I don't know how in the world I could keep this story interesting without Art being the main character. If she did I'm afraid I would be treading a fine line making sure not to make her overpowered or weak and useless. Maybe I can do it, balance the perfect amount of importance without stealing the spotlight, but I still don't know.**

**Although, from the other point of view, there are still some things that are meant to be answered during the canon. It would be an awkward ending if I just abruptly stopped it there. Besides, I've had fun writing this and feel that there might be more to this.**

**There are still some things I have to think about.**

**Let me know for any thoughts and anything. Feed the review monster!**


	16. Choice and Change

**Wow, I have been rendered speechless and shamed. ReaderFan, thank you for reminding me that this site is a two-way street, with both readers and writers. Maybe my Muse had forgotten be, but I made sure to bring it back and make sure it sang for me. **_  
><em>

**Additionally, thanks to An Echo In Time, Regin, and Spoon for reviewing.**

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><p><em>"Why are you crying, Bea?"<em>

_"M-Monsters. . . They're following me. They. . . want to e-eat me! And neither Mom nor Dad believe me!"_

_Al frowned and pulled me into one of his sloppy hugs. I wasn't used to comfort from my eight-year-old younger brother, so I naturally stiffened and tried to pull away. He didn't relent, however, holding me tightly instead. "I'll protect you from them. I believe you."_

_I tried to laugh, but the sound was closer to a sob. "Isn't it my job to protect you?"_

_"No, I love you and I want to make sure you're safe."_

_"They ate a man," I whispered._

_I knew Al didn't believe me. Why would anyone believe if I saw things they didn't see, things that didn't make sense. Why would anyone believe in a borderline schizophrenic girl? Why would anyone believe the girl who listened too closely to her grandfather's stories of being a war hero in another life, even though he considered himself _logical_? _

_No, Al didn't believe me, but that didn't stop him from comforting me._

_"It's alright, nothing bad will happen."_

_Or at least trying._

"I don't understand."

My brother stared at me as if I had come back from the dead, which wasn't that far off from the truth considering my physical body laid next to me with IVs and machines inserted in it. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Urahara and Yoruichi disappear in a flash, but I still felt their reiatsu inside of the hospital. Apparently I didn't even have to hint to them that I desired privacy.

"It hasn't been that much better for me either," I murmured back.

Even though I was four years older than him, he had aged meanwhile I physically resembled an eighteen year old. His hair was shaggy and he seemed partial to beards, considering the small goatee in his chin. His green eyes were wide but there was a certain dullness to it, no doubt caused by grief and pain.

Obviously, neither one of us knew how to process our encounter. I was still processing the reality that the world I had believed was a dream for more than half a decade was authentic, the people that inhabited it ones with true emotions and aspirations. I'm almost positive that Al was trying deal with the fact that her comatose sister was standing in front of him, looking as healthy and alive as the day of the shooting.

So, naturally, we just stood there and stared at each other for what seemed was the longest time.

"Please tell me I'm dreaming and I'll wake up," he finally said, his voice thick with emotion.

I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes but I bit my lip to hold them back. "I've been living in what seemed like a dream for the past six years. Al, is it really you? You're the last piece of evidence that could convince me that this is reality."

He sneered, his eyes now suddenly angry and passionate. "Of course I'm real! Of course I've visited your bedside _every single _week for the past six years, telling you how my day went, telling you how much I missed you, how much I wanted you back! Of course I've told you how our family has fallen apart, how Mom and Dad fight, how I'm unable to be happy and might I add how _grateful _I am for all the times you answered me?"

The moisture immediately disappeared from my eyes. Each word he spoke added a little to the growing irritation I felt for my brother. "Oh, and _my _time has surely been such a joyride, has it not?" I bit back, sarcasm heavy in my voice. "Because being shot is wonderful, you know! And the _afterlife _is as much as a paradise as everyone always imagined it to be. No new culture to get used to, no sir! No new dangers to face, because the world is just _perfect _and _safe _and _happy _and _fucking fantastic_!" Al seemed surprised by my outburst, but I was far from done. "You forget, Isa Alberta de Costa," I said in a dangerously low voice, "that meanwhile you had the comfort of family and friends and _conformity_, I was scared and alone and guilty, always looking for a way to wake up and come back to the family I missed every day."

"Bea, I'm sorry, I didn't know. All this time I thought, well, that you were gone." My anger evaporated almost immediately at his heartfelt apology. I didn't need his pity, but his understanding made me feel much better. "But you were right, the monsters exist, and you don't know how worried I was for you."

"Monsters?"

He nodded and moved to sit done next to my bed, immediately taking the pale hand of my body. "They change shapes and sizes, but they all have masks. And they feed on faded people like you. I've come to associate them as dead, but –" here his eyes turned confused as he looked back and forth from my body to my Soul "– you're certainly not dead."

_Yet._

Before I could answer that question, I had more pressing matters to attend to. "You are spiritually aware?"

He shrugged. "I guess that's what you call it. I started seeing them after the . . . accident. I can't imagine this is what you saw every day of your life."

"Not every day, just a couple of times when I was younger. After that it suddenly stopped, as if I had lost the ability to see anything. Not that I was upset or anything now that I was _normal_."

"You know, Mom and Dad miss you terribly," Al suddenly said, changing the topic as if the subject pained him. "They stopped coming after two years, couldn't deal with you leaving and all."

"Al, why didn't you disconnect me?"

I could see his hand clenched my physical one and he turned to look at my face, the unhealthy one that was almost as white as the sheets surrounding it. I hated making him suffer, but I had to know the reason why they would extend their torture for so long. "You're alive. How can you ask us to kill you?"

I smiled softly and placed a hand on his shoulder. Surprisingly, he felt it and looked at me with a bewildered expression. Even though I could cross walls, I was able to seek physical comfort from my brother. "Al, I'm not alive. Yes, my heart is beating but look at _it_," I remarked, gesturing my body with my line of sight. "Look at the machine that helps me breathe, look at the dialysis machine that cleans my blood for me. This is not life, this is twenty-first century technology wonders keeping something functioning."

"It wouldn't be functioning if you went back inside of it," Al noted quietly, still staring at the body and not meeting my gaze. "Maybe it has been waiting for its owner for such a long time that it has forgotten how to work, but if you came back we could have a chance! Doctors say the only thing keeping you this way is that you won't wake up, although I know what the problem is now." He was now looking at me with pleading eyes. "Bea, I know this is crazy, but I have a feeling that you can come back to your body, come back to us. Mom will finally smile, Dad will finally make a joke, Nonno won't look like he's on his deathbed, Abuela won't be so devastated . . . You'll finish your life as you were supposed to, as you were _meant _to. You'll graduate from Julliard or another school with a degree in music and join a symphony and travel the world and meet new people and play beautifully. You want that, don't you?"

Honestly, a couple of years ago I wouldn't have hesitated to take his offer and continue on with my life. Even now, the frailty behind Al's voice, not because of his lack of persuasion but because of his emotion, made me reconsider my options. My family lay in ruin, any trace of an average life gone. My grandparents, the only two I have left, sounded more depressed than what I had expected. I owed this people who I am, my values and morals. I had been presenting the golden opportunity to pay back everything they gave me and here I was, hesitating whether I wanted a life with them or with strangers I had just met.

But they aren't strangers, at least not any more. Ichihara Airi and Kawate Sachi had become true best friends in our years together. Hanari Fusa and Fuji-sensei had taken me under their wing and become grandparents able to rival my own biological ones. Aizen-taichou, Kuchiki-sensei, and, dare I say it, Kada-sensei, had taught me more than the usual teacher would've with patience that often left me surprised. Mihane Shirogane had become something akin to a sister and even Hitsugaya resembled a brother in an eerie and twisted way. These people had, slowly but surely, wormed themselves into my heart, becoming a surrogate family I myself had chosen.

And now I was forced to choose between them.

**_You know what to do, but either choice you take shall have extreme repercussions in the future._**

"You don't want to come back, do you?" Al observed in a small, broken voice.

I shook my head. "It's not that I don't want to," I murmured. "It's that I _can't_. I've lost too much time, Al. The life I would live if I chose to be in this body would be limited and I would be unhappy. That's not something either one of us wants, do you?"

Al, the prankster Al from my memories, was reduced to tears. He nodded, accepting my decision, but that still caused him agony I could not take away.

"Do you promise to visit me?"

My breathing stopped and I felt as someone was constricting my heart slowly. I couldn't lie, not to him of all people. He deserved better from me. He deserved the truth, not a promise that would undoubtedly be broken. I didn't want the last thought that passed through his head to be _liar_.

_"It's alright, nothing bad will happen."_

I didn't even notice that I was crying until I felt my cheeks wet. "Yes," I whispered, strangely certain, "I will."

"Then there's no use in keeping this body alive, is there?" he mentioned with a humorless chuckle. At my nod, he continued, "Well, why stall the inevitable? Let's finish this while we're at it."

* * *

><p>Mom and Dad immediately signed the papers once Al told them of his decision. Apparently, they refused to order the disconnection until the three family members had voice their approval. The only one keeping me alive was Al and his unwavering faith that one day I would go back to them.<p>

I could hear my heart shattering.

The only people that occupied my room where my parents, Al, and the doctor that was now making sure that this was what the family wanted. Mom and Dad looked relieved, and although I felt a little hurt, I was glad that I could give them some sort of closure to their lives. They looked tired, too tired for their age, and their eyes had a sort of resignation I had seen in those who wished to die.

Every second was a moment of doubt. Al's reassuring glances, no doubt calmed by my promise, Mom's pale and wrinkled face, too old to be the youthful emerald my father had married, and Dad's stern face, as if angry with life, only served to remind me what I had done and what I was leaving behind.

"Are you sure?" the doctor asked one more time, his tone sounding ominously final.

Three nods were his answer.

The doctor took out just one machine and soon, after an alarm from the heart monitor, my heart seized beating.

I heard Mom's sobs and Dad's comforting whispers. Al clenched his hands and shook slightly, but my vision was becoming blurrier. Just a couple of seconds after I had finally died, I felt consciousness fading.

I fell to the ground.

* * *

><p>My head hurt and my eyes burned. I opened my eyes but they were bleary for some reason. A man was sitting next to me. He wore a strange hat and was covering his face with a fan, but something told me that he was grinning behind mask.<p>

"Ah, good morning there! You've been asleep around three hours, not that you would care." At my confused stare, he lowered his fan, allowing me to see his frown. "Why, you do remember my name, right?"

I gave an exasperated sigh. "Of course I do. I'm not an idiot, Urahara."

He seemed pleased enough with my answer. "Alright, but do you remember your name?"

"Is there a reason why I shouldn't?"

"Well, you _did _take a rather nasty hit to the head during training. I'm just making sure you're not experiencing amnesia."

"Ah, that explains why my head feels like it's pulsing," I muttered to myself. "For your information, I'm Costa Artemis."

"How old are you?"

"Sixty-four."

"Do you remember anything about your past life?"

Now I grew suspicious. "No, I don't see any reason why I should."

He leaned back, satisfied, but there was an air of resoluteness that surrounded him. My answers seemed to content him but for some reason (and I'm assuming with my gut) he was slightly disappointed. As quickly as it had appeared it had already disappeared, and his fan went back to his face. "True, true, I was just testing you! Now go back to the training grounds; I hear Yoruichi wanted to teach you a new shunpo technique."

"Ugh, not again."

He said something in a foreign language.

"What did you say?" I asked, as I never knew Urahara could speak anything other than Japanese. The language was strangely familiar.

"Nothing."

* * *

><p><em>Friday, December 31, 2004<em>

I was nervous, a sensation I was not used to experiencing but still easily recognizable. I had grown to associate this feeling whenever we had to demonstrate our Kido spells. Due to my horrendous talent for them, I had been spared performing in front of the class for safety reasons, but today Ukitake-taichou had decided to visit and had vehemently argued to have _everyone _perform in front of him, no exceptions.

Even though Rukia was in it, I began to hate the Thirteenth Division.

"You'll do fine, Art-chan," Sachi said, though she didn't sound very certain.

A frown marred my face. "You don't need to lie for me, you know."

She was about to reply when I heard my Kido instructor call my name. I dragged my feet to the center of the hallway. In front of me was the open field, burned from all the Kido attacks it had received.

My sensei was looking at me with an accepting stare meanwhile Ukitake looked encouraging. Perhaps I had been too quick to judge the Thirteenth Division captain. Both of them nodded at the same time and I sighed, ready to let the ground swallow me whole.

I took my perfected stance and let the words I had spoken for so many years flow freely. "Ye lord! Mask of flesh and bone, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Truth and temperance, upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws. Hado #33: Sokatsui!"

A brilliant blue flame, larger than I had ever seen it, was discharged from my palm. The intensity behind the attack raised the earth and even created a large hole in the other wall that crashed into the forest behind Shino. Although I had been controlling the fire perfectly, I suddenly grew panicked the spell was going to explode in my face like it had done so many times before, so I gradually stopped the intensity just like I had been taught to do. Soon, there was nothing leaving my palms and there was no smoke in my face. I let my arm fall and simply stood there, too shocked to do anything.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one stunned by it, for when I turned around everyone was eyeing me with shocked faces. Ukitake was the only one smiling, as if he had predicted this was going to happen regardless of my reputation.

"That was really good!" Ukitake mentioned, unfazed. "I have a feeling you'll be quite the talented Kido practitioner!"

What the hell is going on?

* * *

><p><strong>And so, there you have it. That's the finalization of the Background Arc, as I would like to call it. After much thought I have decided that I like how this story has gone so far and I have decided to continue it, with Art as a main character still. I have decided that the focus should be the life of a shinigami, since I think there is much room for the imagination in this area. I've noticed that a lot of fanfics include the lives of their divisions, but that's not the <em>point <em>of their stories, since they have larger adventure/drama/romance/angst plots. This is a growth fic, and thus will remain like that.**

**Ichigo and co. will be coming soon as well!**

**For those of you that have noticed either through browsing or author alert, I have started another story called Broken Promise. That story also includes Art, but she's a minor character and possibly different from the one in this story, I haven't decided.**

**Again, I'm extremely sorry for the four months that have gone by without an update. I will finish this for all those people who have decided to invest their time in this story, but I would also like it if you guys gave me some sort of encouragement. Writing is a lonely world, and whatever encouragement one can get works like a charm. Just knowing that someone out there enjoys my work and is vocal about it makes me really happy. **

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are extremely welcome!**


	17. Clash

**A huge thanks to The dark of night5, Reader, Emzy2k11, StickythePorcupine, Bluekit5, I love this, and Guest. You guys are awesome and have this chapter dedicated to your names! Also thanks to those who added this to their Alert list!**

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday, January 19, 2005<em>

I stared at the blank paper in front of me, as confused as I could possibly be. I knew this language was English, since I had signed up for this class for the semester, but I _knew _that there was more to it. I could previously understand every sentence of famous books, have the correct pronunciation for the hardest of words, write the most eloquent speech, but all these abilities suddenly left me.

"Phew, I'm glad we just have to take this class for a semester," Sachi said from my side. "Just looking at all these letters makes my head spin."

"Yeah," I answered, unsure. "Is there a way we can opt out?"

She turned to me, looking at me with curious blue eyes. "Why would you? You're an English whiz."

I chuckled, trying to seem confident, but it came more like a "please-don't-ask-more-questions" laugh. "Exactly, I already know all of this. Besides, this is my last class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and you know I need to start working on my project. I'm leaving my last class period on every day to go work earlier."

"The one sponsored by the Twelfth?"

"Yes."

She now had a thoughtful look on her face. "I guess that's enough of a reason. How are you going to get out of this class, though? It's a requirement for promotion."

"I know someone that can help."

"Pardon me, Costa-kun, but let me make sure I got this correctly. You want me to vouch for your English proficiency and fulfill your English requirement?" Aizen looked genuinely puzzled, which was a first for the man. "Why would you want that? It's an extremely easy class for you."

"I need time to work on my project," I answered without missing a beat. I wouldn't want Aizen knowing that _something _happened to me, though even I didn't know _what_. "The Twelfth Division is very hyped about this project, since no one has ever known the atomic structure to the detail I have."

"Hm, yes, I believe I heard Kurotsuchi-taichou mention an Academy student researching something beyond her years. I should've known it was you, Costa-kun. Fine, I'll vouch for you, but only if you tell me why you've forgotten how to speak English."

Cold dread washed over me. "W-What do you mean, Aizen-taichou?"

He stood up from his place behind the desk and sauntered next to me. His normally calm aura had suddenly become slightly oppressive and I felt myself chocking. He said something in a strange tongue, probably English, and I could do nothing but stare at him in horror. "That's exactly what I'm talking about, Costa-kun," he said, back in Japanese.

"Why should I?" I murmured in a lost voice. "Sachi told me today I'm a whiz in English and you make it seem as if I should know it by heart. I don't know, Aizen-taichou. _Something _happened to me."

"You don't remember your past life anymore?"

"My _what_?"

He frowned. "I never expected that to happen. When did you forget how to speak English?"

"I never did. I've never been able to speak English."

"You were. You just forgot you could, which means you no longer have your memories. However, why now, out of all times? Did you do something?"

Urahara came to mind. He had been more suspicious than normal when I woke up after that rather nasty training session with Yoruichi. I couldn't tell that to Aizen, since it would admit that I've been sneaking to the Living World to visit an exiled shinigami and revealed said shinigami's location. "I can't explain it. My life has been normal until now and then one day I was able to perform Kido. That was the only noticeable difference between my normal life."

"Yes, I heard about that. It must be around that month that you lost your memories. I know it won't affect you too much, but I'm extremely curious about this new development. I'll talk to your English instructor and assure him of your proficiency."

I bowed, extremely grateful. He had helped me through my artistic disabilities to learn Kanji and made Shino Academy a much more comfortable place to learn. "Thank you so much, Aizen-taichou."

"One more condition: don't tell anyone about this."

"S-Sure," I agreed, though I didn't know why he would as this of me. "If you find out anything, please let me know."

"Of course, Costa-kun."

* * *

><p><em>Saturday, January 29, 2005<em>

The research area I had been given was beautiful. It was a small, dark room with two metal capsules attached by various cables to two super powerful computers. There was a particle accelerator that circled the entire room, also connected to the two capsules and a separate, more sophisticated computer connected to it. There were more capsules in the shelves of the rooms, each one of them labeled and organized alphabetically. The capsules, in layman terms, would throw an atom and reishi particle into the accelerator and smash them against each other. The computer connected to the accelerator would analyze the results in detail and present them to me. If something went wrong, the Twelfth would immediately cut of power to this room, preventing any large scale damage to Soul Society.

I've always had a passion for technology ever since I woke up in Rukongai after my death. Once I entered Shino, I threw myself into various scientific books that awakened my thirst for more Living World wonders. Now I wished to understand many mysteries, like why we can damage Living World objects (such as why we're not able to be seen by spiritually aware beings but we can interact with Living World objects) or what is the fundamental difference between reishi particles Plus are made of compared to those of Hollows or Shinigami.

Kurotsuchi-taichou had tried this experiment before, but unfortunately he lacked the knowledge, not the funds or technology, to make this work. The only reasons I could surpass him were Urahara and all the Living World science books I've read.

"If you need anything I'll be outside, Costa-san," a Twelfth Division Shinigami told me as once we reached our destination.

"Thank you," I said, my tone acting as a dismissal. True enough, I could feel his reiatsu right outside the door, vigilant.

I wouldn't trust myself either.

The next couple of hours were spent trying to acquaint myself with the new technology. The machinery was complicated and I immediately understood why Kurotsuchi-taichou had given up; there were many times in which I had to reference my illegally obtained books and use a secret network Urahara had installed in a laptop he had given me to connect with the Internet. My sources were limited because of my lack of English, but it wasn't too hard finding a Japanese translation for all the scholar sources I found.

"So I need subatomic particles to smash against reishi particles," I muttered under my breath. "Electrons will do, it seems."

I turned on the computer in charge of the atom particles and asked the computer to throw an electron to the particle accelerator. Once the electron was close to the speed of light, I went to the other computer and selected a reishi particle to be hurled.

The collision was instantaneous and a bright light appeared for a tenth of a second before disappearing. I almost skipped to the computer connected to the accelerator and waited, almost jumping in excitement, as it analyzed the results. My breath fell when a small window popped up with a red X at the side, saying that there was a lack of information to properly make a conclusion.

Thus I spent the next hours running experiment after experiment without stopping to eat or go to the bathroom. At one point the Shinigami assigned to me came in and announced it was midnight, saying that he was leaving, but I remained here, obsessed with my work. Every completed run meant I was closer to an answer and there was no way the idea of sleep eluded my body every second.

The glow of the computer was becoming my second companion. By now I expected to see the ordinary popup with the X mark for the two hundredth forty-eighth time, give or take a few, but I was pleasantly surprised to see a progress bar instead. After a couple of minutes the computer showed a highly detailed graph that I would need to interpret later, because I was too busy doing my victory dance and singing of my success.

I studied the results for about an hour, checking with other experiments to see if the conclusions were feasible, at least in the Living World. So far, I knew that Kurotsuchi-taichou would be extremely impressed with my findings.

Besides the fact that atoms were considerably bigger than reishi, they both had the same subatomic structure. They both had neutrons, protons, and electrons, though in a smaller size compared to reishi. The main difference I found was this extremely miniscule, tinier than an electron, particle attached to each and every single subatomic particle. This, I believe, was what gave reishi its spiritual qualities. I may be wrong, but I had a sneaking suspicion this is what activated in a Soul once it was out of its earthly body as means of keeping it anchored to a plane of existence.

This, however, brought many more questions to my mind, ranging from the reason why atoms and reishi were incompatible even though they were almost the same, if this could possibly be an explanation why Hollows were able to damage buildings and Shinigami were able to interact with the Living World, what was the complete purpose of the subatomic particle and so many more. As if this hadn't been enough, I still had many unanswered questions from before I started this experiment.

I sighed and slumped on my desk, letting my head lay on the top. I reached for my coffee cup and noticed that it was empty, again. I stifled a yawn, my body becoming aware that it was tired and trying to convince me to go to sleep. Unfortunately for my body, I didn't have classes tomorrow, meaning that I could afford to continue working.

The bright light of the computer was truly my only companion.

* * *

><p><em>Monday, April 11, 2005<em>

I didn't expect anyone to be in the room at this moment, not anymore. My miraculous Kido stunt hadn't been a one-time wonder and I was actually _quite _good at it. My ranking had now moved to second, with my Zanjutsu proficiency being the only one keeping me from taking the first place from Kannogi. His zanpakutou, something I didn't have, coupled with his gifted status made him a hard rival to match, but it was not impossible.

Anyway, I was immediately taken out of my remedial Kido classes and asked to be a tutor for the a couple of Year One students that were having trouble with Sho. The total one-eighty that happened to me in respect to Kido had left me bewildered for a couple of weeks, since for the longest time I had been _that girl _who had wicked speed and could pack a punch but was hopeless in Kido.

I slowly opened the shoji doors and went inside. Unsurprisingly, Kada was sitting in his meditation pose, his eyes closed and his reiatsu perfectly controlled. Seeing that he didn't acknowledge my presence, I sat down and mirrored his pose, taking in a deep breath and relaxing my mind.

It felt like an eternity later when he finally spoke, "What brings you around these parts, Costa?" he asked in his trademark carefree voice. "I didn't think you'd ever come, knowing that this place has shame, failure, and self-esteem issues written all over it."

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny, Kada-sensei. If you must know, I never had self-esteem issues when I came for your lessons."

"No? None at all?"

"Not an ounce."

I opened my eyes to see him flash a winning grin. "Well, if _you say so_. But anyway, what did you come? I never pictured you the type of girl to have crushes on your sensei."

My cheeks burned at his comment and it took a great deal of control to not yell at him for his comment. "No, I usually go for smarter guys." I thoroughly enjoyed the glare he gave me; this was the first time I ever got even with him. "I came because you have a promise to fulfill."

He cocked his head to the side. "What promise?"

"To teach me Shin'yu Rida and its complete form, which I'm sure that by now it's done."

He was surprised, I could tell. "You remember that?"

"Of course I do. I'm honestly interested in learning it."

"What could you possibly use Shin'yu Rida for?"

I told him about my research, of all the findings I've done and how the machinery the Twelfth had given me was not fulfilling my purposes. "I've come to the point where I need to analyze and manipulate the reishi myself."

"I don't think Shin'yu Rida is powerful enough for what you want to do, Costa," he said in a thoughtful tone. "I mean, I'll teach it to you anyway, but I don't think it's going to work."

"I'll tweak it, of course. I'm also curious about Shin'yu Rida's complete form."

Kada seemed irritated about, if his prominent frown was anything to go by. "I can't believe I told you as much."

"You probably thought I would never be able to perform Kido."

"Still, I shouldn't have mentioned the Hado, especially to a year one."

"But you're still going to teach it to me, right?"

He was quiet for a moment, weighing his options. I knew he was measuring whether or not he could trust me with something like this and probably thinking the repercussions my knowledge could have on both of us.

Kada finally said, "Before I can teach it to you, you must know what it does. Shin'yu Rida can be considered a diagnosis Bakudo; it is now used by the Fourth Division to measure the reiryoku flow in a shinigami and see her overall health. The Hado version builds on Shin'yu Rida to control the flow of reiryoku and reishi to a greater extent."

My eyes grew wider with every word he said. "That is extremely overpowered. Nobody would ever stand a chance against someone that can use that Bakudo."

"It's not as invisible as it seems. It taxes the user greatly, so unless you have a vast reiryoku reserve I suggest you don't even try it. Seeing as you _do _have a great amount of reiryoku, the casting is incredibly hard, since you must've used Shin'yu Rida on your target before you can ever use Seigyoki."

"Still, it sounds very handy to have. Can you show it to me?"

"I don't have anyone to experiment on."

"You used Shin'yu Rida on me a long time ago."

He raised an eyebrow. "You would use yourself as an experiment?"

I nodded. "Anything for knowledge."

Kada remained unconvinced for a while until he relented. He urged me to stand up and not move, saying that it was easier for him to guarantee my safety if I remained still. I heard him mutter, "Seigyoki," and I was about to ask him if he was done when I realized that I couldn't speak.

Not only had I lost control over the movements of my mouth, but I couldn't move, at all. My reiryoku fluctuated wildly for a second, almost panicked by the intruding force, until it suddenly relaxed, as if the foreign reiryoku was mine and harmless.

The air around me started cackling with electricity, the energy caressing my body with its vibrations. Kada didn't seem affected by it either, having my reiatsu convinced that _he_ was _me, _even though that didn't make sense.

After a couple of seconds he let go of the link and stumbled slightly. I wanted to move in order to help him, but I was still fascinated by the smooth transition from being a prisoner in my own body to having complete freedom again.

"You're crazy, Costa," he whispered, a little out of breath. "I could've killed you."

"If you wanted to kill me you would've done so a long time ago, when I was a no one," I responded, quietly. "Besides, I never pictured you the type of guy to kill your students."

He chuckled. "True, true, though I would make a rather dashing killer, wouldn't I?"

"Whatever you say, Kada-sensei, just teach me those two spells."

He laughed and began the lesson, fully aware that he was giving me the power to kill him without making a noise.

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, May 1, 2005<em>

Sachi was fidgeting repeatedly, becoming a distraction for everyone around her. She had invited Airi and me to partake in the Annual Kawate Family Dinner, a semi-important event amongst the noble families and the most important day for the Kawate family. According to Sachi, there were many ways to evaluate the importance of a noble family, and one of those measures was the quality of parties. The past couple of years a new family had risen the ranks and was now a threat to the Kawate family in terms of entertainment. Worst of all, they had specifically chosen the first Sunday of May, traditionally the day the dinner happened, for their own dinner to take place.

Sachi, as the heiress to the Kawate family, was under a considerable amount of pressure to give a good impression to their guests, some even belonging to the Shihoin and Kuchiki families.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Sachi!" Airi said in her cheerful voice. "Everything's going smoothly and everyone's happy and drunk."

She glared slightly at our friend. "Please don't tell anyone to his face that he's drunk. It would be most embarrassing seeing as you're labeled as a most-honored guest."

I laughed and took another sip of my sake. "Don't worry, I'll keep a good eye on her."

She gave me a grateful look. "Good, because here comes the Kannogi family and I need to go mingle with them."

I narrowed my eyes and clenched the fist the rested against my kimono. "Is Kannogi here?"

"Seeing that he's the heir to the family then yes, he's here. Now, I said _I _had to go socialize with them, but you can avoid them as much as you wish."

"Good, I think I'll go outside. Do you want to come with me, Airi?"

"Actually, I kinda wanna go with Sachi-chan for this one. Sorry, Art-chan, I promise I'll join you later."

The two girls waved their good-bye and left the room, probably following Kannogi's prominent reiatsu. I wasn't surprised Airi had chosen to go instead of staying with me, seeing that she had a crush on Kannogi since day one.

The Kawate mansion wasn't nearly as big as the Kuchiki estate, but that didn't mean it wasn't big by its own right. The yard was big, the grass was soft, and the sky looked beautiful. That's another thing that confused me. What stars did I see when I stared at the heavens? Could these stars be the same ones humans saw at night? The thought gave me an odd comfort, like if there was someone terribly important in the Living World, looking at the same stars searching for the same answers.

"I didn't think you'd be the one to come to these events, Artemis-san."

"I thought you'd prefer to stay at home, Kuchiki-sensei."

I could almost picture her grimace. "Nii-sama can be persuasive when he wants to be," she replied in a slightly strained voice.

I turned to properly bow at her. "Long time no see, sensei. I must admit I was missing your lessons."

The night was not dark enough to hide her smirk. "I heard about your newfound Kido talents. The strongest Kido in all of Shino, though you still need to work on your refinement skills, which is understandable, with your reiryoku reserves and all."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Wow, I never knew I had become that famous, though I guess people don't go from an embarrassment to a gifted student in a day."

"Is there anything you would like to tell me? I promise you can trust me." Rukia's voice sounded sincere, and if I had anything truly horrible to hide, I would've told her.

However, Aizen whispered in my mind a soft, albeit resolute, "_No_._" _I had refrained from telling Mihane of my memories' disappearance and how I strangely didn't feel bothered by it at all. My life simply carried on, unbothered by the situation.

"I know it sounds weird, sensei, but I didn't do anything, it simply happened. Maybe all those hours of training finally paid off."

She nodded, not utterly convinced, but willing to drop the subject. "Now that you've improved your Kido, you're basically a candidate for every Division. Have you put some thought into it?"

"Hm, well, Histugaya-taichou is a mean midget" ––Rukia almost sputtered–– "who is in some weird way my adoptive brother, the First seems too boring, Soifon-taichou scares the hell out of me, so does Ichimaru-taichou while we're at it, and Unohana-taichou, and no offense, your brother too." She nodded understandingly, not even challenging my claim. "The Seventh is too silent, I'll be harassed in the Eighth, the Ninth will force me to write and I _hate _writing, did I mention Hitsugaya-taichou has temper issues too? And I wouldn't last a day in the Eleventh."

"That only leaves the Fifth, Twelfth, and Thirteenth."

"I'll probably join the Twelfth, though I'm willing to consider the Sixth only because Mihane is in it."

"Shirogane Mihane? My brother is fond of her."

I cocked my head to the side. "_Fond of her_? I thought he . . . well, you know . . ."

"By fond I mean he's not by annoyed her," Rukia clarified. "I think we have different definitions of fond."

"I had always assumed Kuchiki-taichou's definitions of certain words were different than the general public's."

It seemed that Rukia wanted to giggle, but the strict sense of propriety engraved in her psyche refrained her from doing so. "I think you should consider joining the Thirteenth, Artemis-san."

"Please, call me Art; everyone does."

She smiled. "Very well, Art. Anyway, as I was saying, the environment in the Thirteenth is phenomenal and I think you could get a rather high seat as soon as you join."

"The Thirteenth has always interested me. The environment reminds me to that of a family's. I just need to really think about my decision."

"Ah, yes, I've been meaning to ask this for a while. Would you mind coming over my house to have some tea?"

"Huh?" Well that was the perfect definition of a non sequitur.

All of the sudden she seemed sheepish. "It's Renji. He's being an ass again and he said I didn't have enough _female buddies _and then said this is because I can't have normal friends. So I just wanted to prove his usual streak of being wrong."

I shuffled my feet and narrowed my eyes at nothing in particular, looking past Rukia. "I thought it was against some rule to be friends with a commoner."

Much to my surprise, Rukia laughed. "I wasn't born a noble, but rather adopted into the Kuchiki clan. You'd be surprised about how similar we are. I haven't been able to Renji as often as I'd like since if he's not training then he's busy with work Nii-sama gives him, but you are––"

"Available."

"And a friend," she added, probably deducing I thought that she was only doing this because I was the only person around. "So, what do you say? Should I ask to have tea prepared for tomorrow?"

"Should I bring a jacket? You know cold how it gets in the Kuchiki estate."

This time she did snort. "Ha, ha, ha, very funny. I hope one of these days Nii-sama hears you."

"Huh, well what about that. Renji was right: you _are _cruel."

"Am _not_."

"Whatever you say, Sensei."

"Rukia," she corrected, adamant.

"Whatever you say . . . Rukia."

* * *

><p><em>Thursday, July 14, 2005<em>

I have never felt so betrayed, furious, or hurt in my entire life. The electricity emitted by my body kept everyone far away from me, not wanting to be at the receiving end of my wrath. It must've been a weird development, seeing as I never felt strongly about many things, and I barely ever got angry, let alone enraged. But today was the exception; today I was _outraged_.

"Art-chan! What happened to you?" Airi exclaimed, concerned.

I slammed the shoji door and tramped towards my bed, sitting down with my hands fisted on top of my knees.

"They . . . they killed them," I whispered, barely able to keep the anger and confusion out of my voice.

"Who killed whom?" Sachi asked, now directly in front of me and next to Airi.

I looked up at her and then at Airi. "Remember the experiments I've been doing?"

"Of course we do!" Airi answered. "You're practically labeled a genius because of it."

"The samples I'd been given . . . I asked for more, but I never asked the source . . . they seemed so willing, so uncompromised. My thirst for knowledge blinded me of the truth. Oh, the irony. The clues were there, spelled out in big letters, but I just pretended they didn't exist."

My ramblings sounded incoherent even to me, so I wasn't surprised when both of my best friends asked for clarification. "I experimented a lot with Soul and Shinigami samples of reiryoku. I should've known _where _they found these samples and _how _they got them."

"You don't mean––" Sachi's eyes were no horrified and she let out a loud gasp.

"Wait, what? I don't get it. Please tell me."

"They killed many Souls and Shinigami to support Art-chan's experiment."

I murmured, "I asked for more samples twice a week, sometimes more. The particles wouldn't last too long or wouldn't react or anything. I've been doing this for almost half a year." I moaned and put my face on my hands, unable to handle my friends' gazes. "I confronted Kurotsuchi about this; _bold_, some called me. And you know what he said?" I started laughing humorlessly, the sound muffled by my hands. I looked up to see their horrified, disgusted, _pitying _faces. "He was unfazed. Didn't even stutter. 'Oh, but you know this better than anyone, Costa,' he said. 'Anything for knowledge, right? Anything for the truth, for answers, for progress, for prosperity. You're simply following your beliefs.'

"'What about ethics,' I asked. 'What about morality and integrity and empathy and humanity? Does that mean nothing to the Twelfth?'

"He stared at me for the longest moment before he said, 'There's nothing more important than the truth.' Then he turned around and continued working on his computer, but by now I was scared, so afraid."

"Of what?" Airi whispered.

"I––I've said, thought, and acted on that ideology before," I admitted, shame heavily laced in my tone. "In that moment I realized Kurotsuchi and I aren't so different, and that terrifies me."

"You're _not _Kurotsuchi-taichou," Sachi said firmly. She grabbed me by my shoulders, forcing me to _really _look at her. "You two are more different than night and day."

I smiled sadly and shook my head. "Maybe not now, but if I continue like this there's a strong chance I'll become like him." Her hands dropped at her side, finally understanding my fear.

What was worse was that I felt no regret for what I've done. All the discoveries I'd made had brought me unimaginable happiness and satisfaction. New Kido was being developed using my extensive notes on atom and reishi collision to make sure there were no casualties in the Living World resulting from Hollow purifying. My research could _save _lives.

Is this was Kurotsuchi told himself every night to reaffirm his views?

_"Morality is a social construct," Kurotsuchi stated in an emotionless voice. "Without humans, morality wouldn't exist. The physical and spiritual world, however, would still exist, regardless of whether or not humans or Pluses or Hollows inhabited them. If you're going to let your pursuit of truth be affected by this _morality _of yours, then maybe you're not suited to call yourself rational."_

Airi, however, remained unconvinced. "I don't see the problem. Sure, you might share _a few points of view,_ but you're not him. Definitely not as scary or hated. So you simply have to change your perspective on a few issues."

I blinked, astonished by how logical Airi sounded. "How?"

"Well, I assume you already quit that research project of yours, right?"

"Of course! I wouldn't live with myself if I did, though I can't say the Twelfth won't study my notes and revive it."

"Don't join the Twelfth," Sachi added. "Take that Division out of your list. Erase any ideas that Division might've given you from your mind."

"Focus on other things. Don't you like to play the piano? You should play the piano again, if we can find one."

Piano? I played the piano? Since when?

"You can talk to your zanpakuto about this. Usually they're very wise and their best intentions are your wellbeing."

_"Do you know how much a life is worth, Costa? It's very simple math, actually. There is a supply and demand relationship for almost everything. For example: there's a high supply of Pluses, but a low demand for them, meaning that they're not worth very much. On the other hand, there is a high demand for highly gifted shinigami, but a low supply of them, so their worth in society goes up. You're also under the influence of this worthiness construct; after all, wouldn't you react differently if I killed a poor Plus in the outskirts of Rukongai than, say, the soutaichou?"_

"Yes, you're right, I should talk to him and see what he has to say."

Airi sat down next to me and hugged me tightly. "You don't need this identity crisis problems right now, Art-chan. You should focus on beating Takahiro-kun!"

I raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but smirk. "'Takahiro-kun?'" I mocked, mentally laughing along with Sachi.

"I–– I mean Kannogi-san . . ." She dropped her hands at her side. "Ano, yeah . . ."

Teasing aside, Airi was right. I needed to focus on my exams first and on my ideology issues later. Besides, nobody wakes up one day to realize they had become Kurotsuchi overnight.

Right?

* * *

><p><strong>Yay, ideology and identity issues, don't we love them all. Personally, I really liked writing this chapter. Moral theories, philosophy, and meta-ethics is something I spend a lot of my free time reading about, so it was about time I incorporated it into my writing. Expect more of these as things become more questionable as time goes on.<strong>

**Anyway, as you may or may not have noticed, we're two weeks away from the final exams, plus all the subplots are starting to close. The class will graduate and start sending applications to the Divisions of their choice and hope they're accepted (kind of like college admissions). Art has narrowed down the list of possible Divisions to three, and though I already have an idea of which Division I want her to go in, I'm always open to new ideas. This is a big decision, since it affects the storyline and her character development greatly so take that in mind.**

**I finally got a cover for this. I think it's quite fitting. (Definitely not mine, since I'm artistically retarded.)**

**Comments, criticisms, or concerns are GREATLY appreciated.**

**GAMF**


	18. Memory

**Whew, that took a while. A big shout out to Emzy2k11, Bluekit5, Zoey Nightrod, OrangeandSpiceTeaLover , animefanxD, and Konri Kari for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoy the storyline! Also, thanks to those who alerted and favorited! **_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Monday, August 16, 2005<em>

I clutched my papers tighter than what I usually did. Just as I expected, there were barely any applicants in the Sixth Division admissions office. Many students had leaned towards the Third and Fifth Divisions because of their continuous interactions with Kira-fukutaichou and Aizen-taichou. Next in line was the Eight Division, most of them fooled by Kyoraku-taichou's lenience but forgetting Ise-fukutaichou held the real power. The other Divisions had an equal amount of applicants except for the Twelfth and Sixth.

My interviews with the Thirteenth and Fifth had been phenomenal. Both interviewers, high-seated officers in their respective divisions, had given me good signs of a seated position waiting for me should I choose to go in their division. Instead of siding with the division I might feel more comfortable with, I decided to go to the division that gave me the highest seated position.

The shoji door opened and an unnerved Shino student stepped out, if her wide eyes and flushed cheeks were anything to go by. She nodded at me, albeit a bit shakily, and I took it as a sign to go in. I almost crumpled my papers but I restrained myself, stood up, and trudged to the room before I did something I would regret.

The office was minimalist, with a small bookshelf full of books against the right wall and a small desk straight ahead. My interviewer was busy writing down several notes but he gestured me to sit down without looking up with a small inclination of the head.

I sat down and used the time to study him. He had messy blond hair that managed to fall neatly above his shoulders. The only remarkable feature in terms of shinigami uniform he had was his tattered red cape (or was it a scarf?) that laid on his shoulders. He stopped writing and put his brush back on the inkwell with calculating grace I didn't know men could have.

He looked at the hand that held my papers. "I'll take those," he said in a smooth baritone.

I handed them to him and waited as he read them. After five minutes my patience started waning and I started entertaining myself with outlandish fantasies of communicating with my zanpakutou. Recently he had been avoiding me and the few times I had managed to meet him in my inner world he disappeared before I could even get a word in. Perhaps the most vexing aspect of this little game of his was that there was no way I could ever change since he didn't tell me what was wrong with me.

Stupid wolf.

"So you're second in the class?"

I snapped my head towards him. "Yes."

He raised his head and regarded me with calm blue eyes. Ah, so that explains why the girl before me had a flushed face. He was vey, ah, what was the word? Handsome, yes, very handsome. "After losing to Kannogi Takahiro in a swordfight, correct?"

"You're . . . well informed, yes."

"Sore spot?"

"You could say so."

He barely smiled, but went back to reading my application. I was starting to get annoyed at him for wasting my time. If all he was going to do was read my application, then what was I doing in this interview? My interviewer in the Thirteenth had asked me a million questions, half of which had nothing to do with my Shino years. She had even invited me to go drink with her, but I had to reject Isane-san's proposal.

"Why aren't you applying for the Second?"

I stared back at him for clarification, but after seeing he wasn't going to say anything, I sighed. "I don't want to." Many teachers had told me I would fit perfectly in the Second Division since both my speed and Hakuda was superb. Unfortunately, I had promised Yoruichi not to get anywhere near for fear of her beloved subordinate sniffing her out.

He raised an eyebrow, which was hidden by his uneven bangs, but made no comment and went back to my paper.

"I'm sure the person in front of you is much more interesting than the paper you're reading," I snapped.

The blond continued reading but soon looked up to me, more amused than anything. "The Sixth Division isn't lenient with those that to not follow the rules."

"I didn't break any." Again, he didn't respond and instead stared me down. I admit I was slightly frightened by the intensity of it, but my patience had waned to such levels that I no longer cared. Sorry, Mihane, but I won't apologize if this asshole is the only thing standing between us. "There are no rules established for interviews."

"But you're breaking etiquette, right, Costa-san?"

"You're not any better." I grimaced inwardly; way to make yourself an excellent candidate, Artemis. With this attitude you'll be waving acceptance letters here and there.

"Oh? And just where do you feel uncomfortable?"

I shook slightly; that tone just made me want to punch him. "For starters, you barely talk, which is a requirement for every interview. Second, I've spent like twenty minutes of my day sitting here and I think I just answered one meaningful question." I paused, but lo and behold, he had nothing to reply with. I added, "And you didn't introduce yourself."

"… Is that all?"

"Mostly."

"To answer your complaints, in order: this is not an interview; actions speak louder than words; Shihoin Seishiro."

I didn't know personalities were inherited by clan, but I couldn't make a comment on how his temperament evoked the same feelings Yoruichi's did when I wasn't supposed to know Yoruichi to begin with. "What do you mean this is not an interview."

He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. "Every division has their own way of weeding out incompatible candidates. The Eleventh has a fight to the close-death, the Twelfth a research experiment, the Tenth a recon mission, and so on. The ones that don't dubbed them 'interviews' but they serve to judge character more than anything. This application" –– he gestured at it with an inclined head –– "tells me nothing of who you are."

My frown had deepened with every word he had said. "Applications are required to have my instructors' comments in them. I'm sure you can get an adequate picture of me with those."

He shrugged. "No, not really. Well, not the picture _he_ wants. Kuchiki-taichou wants people that can handle uncomfortable or vexing situations and still follow orders."

"You never gave me any orders," I pointed out.

"Indeed, what I wanted to see was how you acted in a completely free environment. There is nothing special about men not stealing from each other because that is the law, but it is interesting when men don't steal from each other when there is no law against it."

I blinked, understanding dawning in my face. He had discretely emulated an "anarchist" situation and thrown me into it to see how I would react. I'm sure this was his way of seeing just how respectful I could be to my superiors. Unfortunately for him (or me), I did not give respect to those that didn't respect me.

Hm, the Fifth had offered me a better seat than this Division ever could.

He slightly smiled. "Kuchiki-taichou would have hated you, but you're not bad. Renji-fukutaichou is also partial to you, so I feel like you could fit in just fine."

I gaped at him. "You just said Kuchiki-taichou wouldn't like me in the Sixth. What are you talking about?"

"He's not the one that chooses candidates; I am. If I say you fit in, then you do."

"Ano . . . thank you?"

"I did my research on all the candidates and saw you had been offered Seventeenth seat in the Thirteenth and Nineteenth in the Fifth, which is impressive considering you just graduated. Unfortunately, I cannot offer that to you. Instead, I can only guarantee you'll become a stronger and better person if you join the Sixth."

A better person, huh. Interesting. Perhaps I needed that more than strength. No, that was what I needed more than strength. "How can you guarantee that?"

"I can."

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, August 28, 2005<em>

Yoruichi launched me into the air, shunpoed above me, and landed a devastating downwards kick that would have destroyed the ground had I not recovered mid-flight. I clutched my screaming abdominals and barely managed to evade Yoruichi's series of punches and kicks on time. I intercepted her punch with the lateral side of my arm and aimed a kick for her neck which she dodged with a beautifully timed shunpo. I searched for her presence but it was until I was staring up at her from my place on the floor that I realized she had landed another hit on me.

"I could have killed you approximately eight hundred twenty-seven times."

"Hm, that's better than last time."

She grinned and offered a hand to help me up which I gladly took. "It is! Maybe in three hundred years we'll go down to eight hundred!"

"Maybe."

Yoruichi pouted, a look not befit of the ex-head of the Shihoin clan. "The old Art-chan would have said something like 'I'll grab you by your tail next time' or 'I won't give you milk tonight.' You're _boring._"

I stared at her with confused eyes. "'The 'old Art-chan?'" Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth but I beat her to it. "You don't mean you know why I forgot my past life, right?"

"Who told you that, Costa-kun?" Urahara asked. I shifted my body so that both of my teachers were visible to me. Urahara didn't look amused or scheming or remotely Urahara-like. Instead he had a suspicious and wary air to him.

"Aizen-taichou," I answered. "Is it true?"

His eyes narrowed. "What did he tell you?"

"Why is my past life so important?"

"It's not," he replied, a bit too quickly to my liking. "But Aizen might think it is."

I narrowed my eyes and said coldly, "Why are you so distrustful of Aizen-taichou? What did he ever do to you?"

Yoruichi decided to enter the conversation. "We cannot tell you everything, because that would put you in danger, but know that Aizen is not a man to be trusted. You're not thinking about going into the Fifth, right?"

"What if I am?"

I choked at the sudden oppressive reiatsu both Urahara and Yoruichi were giving off. I knew that this wasn't even a fraction of their power because I knew they were capable of much more, if their surviving for so long when Soul Society screamed for their blood was of any indication. I released the stronghold they had over me by having my own reiatsu battle with theirs. The air cackled a little and after a couple of seconds they reigned in their power, with me following suit a couple of seconds later.

"Right now it's not the time for you to defy us." Yoruichi was uncharacteristically serious and her voice had an edge to it I had never heard before.

I glared at them both. "I'm not some puppet you can control. If I choose to join Aizen I will, unless you give me a good reason not to."

"We already told you we can't," Urahara answered with a slightly defeated tone. "You have to trust us."

I laughed bitterly. "You ask me to trust you, but you've always held information from me." They didn't reply and a tense silence befell between us. Their refusal to agree or disagree with my statement automatically made it seem like there was some validity to what I deduced. Not that they could have argued with me; deep down I knew I had become a puppet to whatever they asked, whether it was to make me strong or further their own agenda.

"I'm not joining the Fifth," I finally said, "but not because you two don't want me to. I think it would be best if I stopped coming here."

Urahara said after a moment, "If that's what you want then we won't stand in your way."

"Please don't get too close to Aizen, though," Yoruichi pleaded. "You would be ruining more than one life that way."

Though they were unfair and suspicious characters, they had helped me further my abilities and I owed much of what I had become to them, even if that notion further reinforced my conclusion that I had become the perfect puppet for them. If they asked me to stay away from Aizen, the least I could do was to do their bidding. "I have one question. Why now? Why didn't you tell me to stay away from him from the beginning?"

"It was a bet we were willing to take," he answered.

I slowly nodded and closed my eyes. What he meant I would never know, because I had enough of their cryptic answers. "You two were the best teachers I've ever had . . . Thank you."

After giving each a stiff bow I opened a Senkaimon and left, feeling oddly liberated and chained at the same time. There was something deep and dark Soul Society was hiding, and I'd be damned if I didn't search for it.

* * *

><p><em>Thursday, September 1, 2005<em>

The statistics had shown that the Sixth had been ranked ninth with the amount of new recruits, with the First Division being the most selective and the Fifth Division the most admitting. Airi had gotten Twentieth seat in the Fifth and Sachi an impressive Eighteenth in the Third. Airi had gotten a lot of attention, mostly because she was one of the only ones that had graduated with an awakened zanpakutou. She still needed more training with her zanjutsu to be considered for a higher seat, but she was getting there. Kannogi had been to only one to get into the most prestigious division, the First Division. Oddly enough, I neither felt jealous nor bitter about his success. Now that I barely saw him or any of the other eighty-three graduating Shino students, I couldn't care less.

Just like Shihoin Seishiro had warned me, I didn't get a seated position. However, none of the recruits got a seated position either. Kuchiki-taichou did not believe shinigami fresh out of Shino were ready to handle the increased responsibilities a seated position brought with it, so instead he had a short period of testing for each individual shinigami. All the new recruits were facing Kuchiki-taichou and Renji in a neat line. Out of the four other recruits I recognized the Akato twins, which had been on my team during my first expedition to the Living World. Both Yuuki and Yuuma were still as unapproachable and mysterious as they had always been.

"You five were both chosen and chose to attend the Sixth Division," Kuchiki-taichou began in his deep and toneless voice. "My subordinates stand as epitomes of the ideal shinigami; none of them get into trouble or participate in activities that will bring shame to both himself and the division. I will exact punishment exceeding the infraction and have no qualms in ruining your career as a shinigami." He studied each and every one of us with calculating eyes. If he recognized me or not he didn't show it. Satisfied at the resolute and fearless faces of his new recruits, he continued, "The Division trains as a whole every day from eight in the morning until one in the afternoon, unless you are on patrol duty, though I doubt you will be given that any time soon. The rest of your time should be spent honing your skills. Abarai-fukutaichou, I leave it to you."

And with that he disappeared just like Yoruichi sometimes did.

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Our attention was immediately drawn to Renji, who chuckled nervously under all our stares. "You guys can calm down now; he's gone." Out of the corner of my eye I saw everyone visibly relax. Even Yuuma seemed to breathe more easily now that Kuchiki Byakuya was gone. "Now, like taichou said, training is every day and I usually lead it, though you will get more help from our Third seat and Fourth seats than anybody else. It's usually not very hard but Saturdays are a pain in the ass because taichou is there. Don't worry, though, he usually leaves after the second hour and almost never talks to you. The annoying thing is his stare, but whatever, you get used to it. Any questions?"

"Who are the Fourth and Third seats?" a male voice asked, though I couldn't see whom.

"Our Fourth Seats are Kono Giichi and Mita Taka; they're the co-captains of our kickball team so you'll meet them soon. Our Third Seat is Shihoin Seishiro, the guy who interviewed all of you. Don't be hurt if he doesn't talk to you or anything, he's kinda like that. Maybe even quiet, but I don't know him that well to be sure." We were all silent, unsure of what to respond with. Renji started scratching his head. "Uh, welcome? Make yourself comfortable? Do whatever you want, just don't get into trouble."

The Akato twins left as soon as Renji finished that and the other two recruits started talking, starting their exploration of the Sixth Division. I was the only one that remained, and Renji made a beeline for me.

"This is like the seventh time I do this and it doesn't get any better," he grumbled. "Why didn't you say anything?"

I raised an eyebrow and started ambling, beckoning him to join me. "Renji, you've known me for a while. I don't say much."

"True, but that was scary. Did you see those two white-haired siblings? They freaked me out."

"You've faced countless hollows and two new recruits scare you that much?" I asked, not bothering to hide my amusement. "You have your priorities straight. Though I will admit Akato Yuuma and Yuuki are not the most pleasant people to be around."

"Hey, Art, why did you choose the Sixth? I thought you were going for the Twelfth, with you discovering those things and yeah . . . Kurotsuchi-taichou barged in here once he found out Kuchiki-taichou signed your papers. Demanded a transfer."

I ignored the completely new conversation topic and scoffed, "Huh, funny how things work. The man insulted me and he's surprised I didn't apply to the Twelfth? And he's one of the smartest people in here."

"He insulted you? What did he say?"

"Let's say he's the reason why I chose the Sixth."

He grinned, not irritated that I had ignored his question, and patted me on the back. "Well, I'm glad to have you onboard. Mihane was happy when she found out you applied. You should go see her."

"No, not yet. Once I'm settled I'll go seek her out."

"Good idea. Well, I gotta go; taichou's gonna kill me when he finds out I haven't started the paperwork."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Go do your work, then."

He shunpoed and left me alone once again. It was alright, though, because what I wanted to do required me to be alone and he would only serve as a distraction.

One of the symbols in the Sixth Division was a garden full of white camellias and one of the biggest sakura trees in Soul Society. It was said to be one of the most tranquil and relaxing place in Soul Society, a stark contrast to the suffocating and demanding atmosphere the whole division gave off, courtesy of our dear captain. My zanpakutou had lately been hinting that once I graduated from Shino I would be ready to talk to him and ask him about his elusiveness.

The garden was even more beautiful than people described it as. It was a circular garden with a dirt path as the perimeter that had branching paths which all led to the center, home of the sakura tree. The paths were lined with well-cared white camellia bushes whose fallen leaves adorned the trail. The air smelled wonderful and fresh and I had no qualms with taking my sweet time in reaching the center of the garden.

Much to my surprise, I wasn't alone. The Akato twins had also decided to spend their first hour in the Sixth Division holding hands against the hard trunk of the sakura tree. Thus an awkward situation presented itself: I refused to leave and the twins refused to stop staring up at me.

After a long silence, I said, "I won't be any trouble."

"We know," Yuuma replied in a soft tone. "We never told you to leave."

"We just found it interesting that someone else would want to be here," Yuuki continued in a voice reminiscent to my own when I first came to Soul Society.

"Then again, you were always quiet, though you always have much to say."

I crossed my arms against my chest and frowned. "How would you know?"

"Every word we don't speak is a moment we observe."

"We know all our classmates more than they know themselves."

"It is a harsh burden but––"

"One we are willing to take."

That the Akato twins had better observational skills than me didn't surprise me. They never talked or gave the indication of paying attention, but I knew those were the people that could see and analyze the most. That they knew more about myself than I did alarmed me. "Just how much do you know?"

They closed their red eyes and both became very still for a long time. I felt myself getting weaker and emptier but overrode those sensations once I noticed the twins had stopped breathing. I crouched in front of them and was about to reach for their wrists when they suddenly opened their eyes. But they were no longer red; instead, they were a deep, all-too-familiar gold.

"You have changed so much, Artemis," Yuuki said sadly.

"You have forgotten so much, Beatrice."

I shivered and immediately fell back from shock. "Wha–– What the hell are you two talking about? Snap out of it!"

"Your voyage is not yet over yet."

"It is necessary to know your past in order to know who you are."

"You might want to visit your brother soon enough."

And just like that the twins' eyes regained their red eyes and the feeling of weakness left altogether. They shared a nod and stood up, leaving me in the ground with a confused mind and heavy heart.

My brother? Did they mean Toshirou? But what would he know about this?

Just like how I expected, I couldn't reach my inner world no matter how much I tried but at the same time my zanpakutou spirit had kept his part of the deal. I don't know how, but the Akato twins had housed my zanpakutou spirit for the shortest of moments, coinciding with the strange sensation of emptiness. Was that why everyone, even our instructors, had kept their distance from the twins? Because deep inside they all knew the twins had leverage over them?

I leaned against the trunk and looked up at the beautiful branches. The sakura were falling on my hair, but I paid them no mind. My brother? I had the distinct feeling they weren't referring to Toshirou because that wouldn't make sense; he knew nothing of my "past," if I even had one. Then again, both Aizen, Yoruichi, and Urahara had hinted that I had forgotten something, namely my past life. Did my zanpakutou refer to that? He once told me I needed to know who I am. Why would I need that, though? And just what did my brother have to do with this?

_. . . Al . . ._

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know if anyone has noticed, but usually when I name characters and describe them they end up being more important as the story progresses, especially if they were described as creepy in the beginning.<strong>

**So there, the Division she chose was the Sixth. I debated shoving her into the 13th, but eventually I realized the atmosphere didn't fit her at all. **

**To know just what the hell the wolf wants from Artemis, I recommend re-reading Chapter 14, Wednesday, more specifically. It goes into a bit more depth than I did here.**

**I predict I'm going to start delving into the canon storyline in around two or three chapters. Then Ichigo and all the schemes you have noticed (plus the ones you haven't) will be more prominent and mostly resolved. **

**Review for any comments, criticisms, or concerns!**

**GAMF**


	19. Voyager Through Life

Well sorry about the long wait, guys. As always, thanks to Bluekit5, Emzy2k11, skipbeataddict, OrangeandSpiceTeaLover, Undying Soul98, Konri Kari, and animagirl; your reviews always make my day. Also to those who added this story to their favorites and alerts, you guys are awesome. Anyway, onwards with the story.

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><p><em>Monday, July 2, 2007<em>

"You're all dismissed!"

"Hai!"

Once the seven new recruits left, I couldn't help hold my smirk any longer. "That was totally different from _my _introduction. Are you more comfortable with the power role now?"

Renji growled. "Shut up. It's not too late to accept that transfer petition we received from the Twelfth."

"Kuchiki-taichou likes spiting Kurotsuchi-taichou in whatever way he can. He'll gladly use me for his own devices and deny it."

"It's scary how well you know people, considering you're a mute and all."

"You forgot antisocial freak."

"Well, you didn't let me finish!"

This was how our days finished, with our usual banter and the occasional spar. Though Renji could overpower me with just his reiatsu, he wasn't used to going against an opponent who considered fights a lightning-fast games of chess, leaving a fully symbiotic relationship: he learned how to fight people smarter than him, and I learned how to fight people more powerful than me.

Today, though, I had a feeling we weren't going to spar. Renji was still a bit peeved I had decided not to take the Shinigami Examinations, dooming me for Nineteenth Seat for another year. He was almost positive I would make it Fourteenth without even trying, and, though I didn't doubt it, I _didn't_ want to move up the ladder, since I would still be a failure.

Good at all four arts behind being a shinigami, but I still wielded an Asauchi. There was no shame in having a nameless sword; most members of the Gotei 13 only dreamed once about their zanpakuto and continued on with their insignificant lives, content with that, but I didn't want a nameless sword for a person with a name.

I believe I would be more resigned to my fate if everyone had kept their _damned disappointed _looks to themselves. It was hard to be conformed with being ordinary when my captain stares at me coldly, though inside you know he's asking himself, "_Is this it?_" When the person that lent me a shoulder gives me a pitying look and wonders to herself, _"Was I wrong?" _When my imposed brother probably concluded, _"Maybe she was right in asking for mediocrity." _Worst of all, when the man that took me in and taught me everything he knew, only asking a name instead, had realized that Costa Artemis would never become a someone worthy of being named.

Gee, I just had a talent for disappointing people.

"You still have a month to sign up," he commented quietly.

I carefully hid the surprise from both my face and my voice. "What makes you think I was thinking about that."

"You're not as hard to read as you believe yourself to be," he pointed out with a knowing look. "Most people would kill to have half the talent you have."

"And I want to kill to have half the talent you have, but that doesn't change anything. I _know _I can do it, but I _can't_. My zanpakuto won't let me."

He raised an imaginary eyebrow. "You talk to him often?"

"I could even mimic his mannerisms if I were a wolf." This time I didn't bother hiding the exasperation from my voice. "But no, fucking Amane gets her _Shikai_ for solving a puzzle, meanwhile I become a glorified back-scratcher."

"In all honesty, his Shikai wasn't that cool and he's kinda a dumb ass."

"Then I'm worse than a dumb ass."

Renji had an alarmed look in his face and he raised his hands in front of his chest in a pleading motion. "Uh, don't go all depressed on me!" He patted my back awkwardly. "There, there, you're smart and own major ass around these parts."

I sighed and looked around, noting that this trail looked familiar, but not the good kind of familiar. "Where are we going?"

"_I'm _going to report today's exercise to taichou. You came along. Though maybe I could see if there's a mission for you to take, preferably a long-term one."

"Glad I could count on you."

"No prob, Art."

The rest of the walk to our resident ice prince was quiet, which was nice. Talking to Renji usually lifted my spirits, but who I needed right now was Mihane, maybe even the silent companionship of Rukia. Mihane was in one of the outer districts of Rukon doing her community service meanwhile Rukia mostly trained in the Thirteenth Division. Those two knew when two listen and when to talk, and although Renji made me forget about my worries, once he left they came back with just as much force.

I remember the first couple of times I was intimidated by the door that led to Kuchiki-taichou's office. I had avoided the man a plague the first couple of months until I realized that I was a shinigami and was running away from my superior. I could've sworn he was even slightly amused by the whole ordeal, but luckily he had never brought it up.

Now, I could walk in with as much confidence as Renji, which was about how much courage a chicken had.

"I bring the report of the recruits, sir."

Kuchiki-taichou didn't look up from his pile but he nodded for his fukutaichou to continue.

"Unremarkable. Three did well in hakuda, but there zanjutsu leaves much to be desired. Also, they seemed unable to shunpo more than three steps." I had been there with him as he tested the new recruits, and he wasn't exaggerating. He was even making them sound better than what I saw, because a girl had vomited after the first step. It really made me wonder how they graduated from Shino; they would've failed me for puking.

Shino did warn that this had been one of the worst years they had ever encountered.

"Very well, thank you for your report, Abarai-fukutaichou. Is there any reason why you are here, Costa?"

"I want a mission."

He continued his work, but I could tell he was slightly interested. "After having my fukutaichou beat you to accept a mission, where does this sudden change come from?"

I whipped my head to Renji and stared at him desperately. _How _did he know that? I thought it was a well-kept secret! Renji just shrugged and nervously smiled back, as if he didn't know either but right now wasn't the time to get all nervous about it. "It was just a game, Kuchiki-taichou," I said, my voice flat. "I always meant to accept the missions." The redhead made a noise that sounded close to a snort, but I coughed loud enough to hide it.

"Shihoin sent me a request for backup a couple of hours ago. Seeing as you are so enthusiastic about it, you will be leaving to the Living World in about five hours. I'll have Abarai-fukutaichou brief you on the mission in two hours."

My eyes widened. Living World missions were reserved for shinigami with more experience. The first year was spent mostly training in their respective barracks, the more talented ones shadowing assignments to the higher districts of Rukon. This was meant to maximize the chances of survival, as shinigami had low survival rates as it was. The remaining five years was a combination of Division training, moving up the ranks, and Rukon missions. But here Kuchiki-taichou was sending me to the Living World, a rookie as I was, and as backup, no less.

Renji shared my surprise, but neither of us were about to question the decisions of our taichou. If there was something I knew for sure about my taichou, it was that he detested having people second-guessing his actions. As the head of a noble clan, he was used to ordering people to die for him on a whim, if he so wished. I may not like nobles, but I knew they were not people to be trifled with.

After a salute and a small show of gratitude, I left the office, making sure to hide my grin even when I entered my room. A Living World mission, with Shihoin, no less. Most of the Sixth Division members were a bit dull and unthinking (following the law didn't require much computational power), but Shihoin Seishiro has a bit of what made Yoruichi-sensei so great.

Well, I had to share this amazing piece of news with someone.

* * *

><p>"I told you! It was all about gaining more confidence!"<p>

I glared at her. "Airi, you have a fire-type zanpakuto. You're one of Hinamori-fukutaichou's favorites. The Fifth Division adores you and you're Fourth Seat. Your life is pretty much set."

She instinctively reached for the katana strapped at her waist. She had achieved _Shikai_ a year ago, the first one in our class, and it had turned out to be a fire-type zanpakuto, one of the most beloved types in Soul Society, no thanks to the soutaichou. _Gyosei, _though nowhere near as close in power as Hinamori's _Tobiume, _still had the possibility of being quite deadly. The blade was sneaky, making the surroundings very hot for everyone around except for Airi. After a while of fighting, the opponent would be extremely tired and his moves would become extremely sluggish, leading to more openings and higher chances of messing up. The main issue was the Airi couldn't last very long in a fight to reap the benefits of her _Shikai_, but that didn't mean she wasn't training.

I hadn't told her yet, but theoretically speaking, with the right chemicals and reiatsu levels, she could spontaneously combust air, but I was still adamant in my belief that an Airi with the ability to spontaneously combust anyone was not a wanted Airi.

"Hm, I'm still decades away from my life being set, but you're right; my life is better than most. Have you told Sachi?"

I shook my head. "She's not in the Eighth Division, so she's probably in that dango place down the road. You want to come?"

Her stomach growled at that moment. "Guess someone down there made the decision for me. I have to make a couple of errands for Hinamori-fukutaichou, but I'll meet you there in half an hour."

If it were anyone, I might say that half an hour is a bit too much time and Sachi would probably leave the place, but knowing her like I do, she's going to be there for at least two more hours. After all, the owners love her and she always finds someone to talk to, no matter the day of the week or time of the day.

"Okay, I have to go to the library anyway."

She tried to hold in a snicker but failed, opting to wave her goodbye instead of her usual teasing. Airi was usually the one who endearingly made fun of me for always having my head immersed in books. Sachi just knew that I had been destined to join the Twelfth Division, but my ethics had prevented me from doing it. If Kurotsuchi was not the captain, I would be using all of the Twelfth's resources in developing buildings more resistant to reiryoku and shinigami fights, more reishi-efficient apparatuses, and atom-reishi convertors.

But, alas, here I was, getting excited over a mission in the Living World.

"Costa-kun, what a surprise seeing you here."

I turned my head to the side and smiled at Aizen-taichou. "It's been a couple of busy months, yes." Though my parting with Urahara and Yoruichi-sensei had left a bitter taste in my mouth, I still respected their wishes to keep away from Aizen-taichou, even after two years. It wasn't hard avoiding the man, though; I was busy, he was _very _busy, and the chances of running into each other were almost null.

Until now.

"Yes, I hear the Sixth Division has been treating you nicely."

"Airi talks a lot, doesn't she?"

"Ichihara-kun shares a lot of information with my fukutaichou, yes. Where are you going?"

"To the library."

He visibly brightened and he smiled warmly. "That's where I'm going too. Shall we walk there?"

Not about to say no, I graciously accepted his offer. He asked me mostly about work and calligraphy meanwhile I inquired about his duties and how Hinamori-fukutaichou and Airi were. Ever since I had found out she was a childhood friend of Toshirou, we both had exchanged information to embarrass him and make his life more exciting. Baa-chan was elated about our relationship as well, fueling our friendship.

"Why are you going to the library?"

"I hear there's a new book on DNA reprogramming of the bacteria _E. Coli_. It's possible that we could recode the DNA so that the bacteria generates electricity from processing waste, which would save Soul Society many expenses. What about you, Aizen-taichou?"

His eyes looked surprised and he chuckled. "I now understand why Kurotsuchi-taichou insists on having you in his Division. I was reading on the Transcendentals, and I'm going to look and see if they have another book on them."

I cocked my head to the side. Usually when someone mentioned a group of people or event, I could recall a vague lesson or chapter on it during my history classes, but the name just drew a blank in my mind, which wasn't a nice feeling. "Transcendentals? What's that?"

"Not what, rather _who._ They are the only people that achieved immortality."

I raised my eyebrows. "Immortality is impossible. Our bodies age and are meant to die."

He shook his head. "Not that kind of immortality, exactly. Their bodies didn't live forever, but rather their souls did. They could remember their past life once they reached Soul Society, and when they were reincarnated in the Living World, they would remember their life in Soul Society and the life before that, and so on and so on until they have lived hundreds of times."

"Why haven't I heard of them? We weren't taught this in Shino."

"Like the Quincy, the Transcendentals are a delicate subject in Soul Society. Most of them had their souls destroyed using the Sokyoku, and the few that escaped probably sealed their powers away to survive, for we haven't seen one in a five hundred years."

"Soul Society killed them all? Is it because their power was unnatural?"

"Mostly. There's a reason why memories are wiped out from souls when it's time for them to transition from one world to another, and it's to preserve the emotional health and balance of the population. Not only that, but we had strong leads that made us believe that Transcendentals made a pact with Hell or another detrimental power to allow them this.

"Not that I blame them for accepting such contract, if that's what they did do. Immortality sounds like such a beautiful concept. To have all your knowledge intact going to the next life is something that many would kill for."

I frowned and studied the looming form of the library. "It sounds lonely. All the people you met would be dead."

"People are easily replaced, but wisdom and power are not. Well, it appears we're here. Are you going in?"

My mouth was forced into a bland smile and I shook my head; I no longer felt like going in the library. "I have to meet with a friend and prepare for a mission. Thank you for this talk, Aizen-taichou."

"Good luck on this mission of yours, Costa-kun."

* * *

><p>I read through the report that Renji had given me. I already knew that he would never brief me, even if he had been ordered by the taichou. He was too lazy and too much work had accumulated in that pile of his.<p>

"So you know where you're going?"

"California is a state of United States of America. Languages mostly spoken are English and Spanish, which use a Latin alphabet. Current political leader is–"

"Okay, okay, I didn't ask for an encyclopedic entry of the place, sheesh. Why do you always like making things so complicated?"

I pursed my lips and shrugged. "You made me read that whole report. So there's an unnatural amount of hollows in the area?"

"Yeah, that place usually requires an unranked shinigami for patrol, but Shihoin asked for backup. I'm sure taichou expects you to look into this and try to solve it."

I refrained from rolling my eyes; of course Kuchiki-taichou would expect me to look into the problem. The man was a perfectionist and he believed everyone else was, or at least me. "Shihoin-san will want to take the fun part and kill most of the hollows, leaving me to investigate."

Renji snorted. "Who wouldn't? Anyway, it's time for you to go."

A groan of pleasure escaped my lips when I popped a bone in the back. Stretching always left me almost mewling. I scratched my cheek and dragged my feet out the office, making sure to hold in my sigh. I always got a large wave of laziness whenever I was about to do something bigger than usual. Is it maybe too late to drop this mission?

This time I did sigh; some things would never change.

Once I got to the Senkaimon, I presented my authorization papers, which carried the coordinates for my destination. The doors slid open, revealing a vast whiteness and letting out a Jigokuchou. The butterfly fluttered towards me and perched itself on my shoulder.

I put my hand on my zanpakuto, making sure he was there, and with one final glance to Soul Society, I left.

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><p><em>Tuesday, July 3, 2007<em>

"You're early."

I looked at the dark sky. From the position of the moon and the stars, plus the multiple clouds, the sun hadn't come up yet. "Kuchiki-taichou sent me a bit late."

Seishirou shunpoed to the rooftop of the building, right in front of me. "No, I mean it. You're early. I thought Kuchiki-taichou would send an unranked shinigami a day or two from now. I never specified in the report that it was urgent."

"I wanted to get away from the Sixth Division right now."

"Renji pestering you to sign up for the examinations?"

"Told you, you're a mindreader."

He sat down at the edge of the building and stared below. "It doesn't require a mindreader to know that you're disappointed with yourself."

I frowned. "What makes you think that?" Oh, the déjà vu train has departed.

"You're not as hard to read as you believe yourself to be," he stated with a smug voice. Oh, yes, full on déjà vu.

Growing tired of standing, I went to sit down next to him. "So you just sit here and wait for hollows to appear?"

"That's the plan."

"Wow, that's boring."

"Nobody told you to come."

I nodded, impressed. "True, I shouldn't complain. But there's something we must do. You said there was something affecting the hollows, right?"

He looked at me and offered a slight nod, then turned to look at the distance. His scarf looked really warm in this height. "There's a negative reiatsu around these areas. I want to look for it, but during the day it's so crowded that I can't find it, and during the night the hollows attack."

"You think it's a human?"

"That's the only thing that would make sense."

"Well," I began, standing up and crossing my arms, "I better look into that. Do you know what sector I should look in?"

He pointed northeast. "The presence is scattered around during the day, but at night it's almost always there. Call me if you need anything."

When I confirmed his orders, I left the roof, leaving a gust of wind in my wake. Something none of my classmates had taken from me was the first place in Hoho. I could even beat some of the older members if the Sixth Division with my shunpo, though I was still became winded a bit easily. It would take me a few more years to be _good _at it.

Ever since Kada had taught me his Kido spells, I had become well-versed in following reiryoku and even manipulating reishi to some extent. It is because of this that I immediately pinpointed the source of the negative aura Seishirou had felt, and he was right to suspect this was the culprit. Had I been a weaker person, I would have definitely felt depressed thoughts creeping in my mind.

The building was narrow and with many doors, probably an apartment complex. The bricks looked a bit worse for wear, but the overall neighborhood was nice so I understood why someone would want to live here. The source came from the third floor, the window to the left. Gathering reishi in my feet, I jumped high in the air, making sure to land in the balcony and nowhere else.

I carefully opened the window and slipped in. The bedroom was small, with only a bed pushed to the right side and a nightstand in the left. There was a form bundled in the sheets –for the temperature inside the apartment was low– moving every time the human took a breath. I tiptoed next to the bed to see the person's face to confirm my target. The human was a male, probably in his early twenties, with unkept brown hair and olive skin a bit darker than my own. What bothered me was that the man didn't look peaceful in sleep, as if haunted by memories.

My face retreated and I was about to stand to my full height when the men caught my wrist. I let out a small gasp of surprise, for humans shouldn't be able to touch me, but the man looked angry.

"Who are you? What are you doing here? What are you _wearing_?"

I struggled, trying to understand his English when my own was a bit sloppy. After a few seconds, I managed to formulate a response. "I'll be going on my way."

The man stiffened and his hold on my wrist became stronger. "You broke into my apartment. Don't think I'll let you get away with that. But who are you?"

"My name is Costa Artemis," I admitted with a sigh. Much to my surprise, the man suddenly let go of my wrist and he was immobile for a few seconds until he scrambled to turn on the light. "That's bright," I muttered in my native tongue.

"Bea?" he murmured in a broken voice.

I felt a headache threatening my mind. "No, I'm not Bea. My name is Costa Artemis."

He suddenly stood up and grabbed me by the shoulders, forcing me to stare at his green eyes. "No, you're Bea. I'm Al, remember?"

I furrowed my brow. "Sorry, Al, but I don't remember you."

The man shook me and I abstained from firing a Kido at his face. "C'mon, Beatrice, I'm your brother Al. Why don't you remember?"

After the revelation, I stared at him, _really _stared at him. Now that I thought about it, his name _had _been whispered in some of my dreams, though a two-letter word had never meant much to me. But yes, we did look alike, _a lot _alike, so the only deduction was that we had been family before I died, maybe even siblings as he claimed.

I gently slipped his hands from my shoulders, but I didn't release them. I stared at his large hands for a while, struggling to find in my mind the correct words to express what was going on. "I don't remember. I forgot everything from before."

"From before what?" I grimaced and motioned a knife cutting my throat. "From before you died? Why can't you speak English?"

"Never good at it."

"Bea used to be great at languages. She knew like seven!"

Well, _that's _useful. "I'm good with numbers."

"She hated math." He snatched his hands from mine and let them fall at his sides. "You're not Bea."

And that's what I've been trying to tell him for so long. "True."

"But then again, you are Bea. Why don't you remember me? Why didn't you visit me, just like you promised? Why are you wearing that outfit?"

It wasn't my place to explain to him the workings of Soul Society and the cleansing of the soul. I was sure I was breaking many rules and protocol regulations just by interacting with my living brother. "It just is."

He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. "No, that's not true. Bea would never forget me or anyone. You must remember, it just must be somewhere in your mind. But there must be something you remember, no matter what happens to you."

"Piano. I want a piano."

Al looked at me with astonished eyes that mirrored my own. Why did I say that? I didn't even know how to play the piano. He just stood up and left the tiny bedroom, and I assumed I was supposed to follow him. Much to my added surprise, there was a piano in the living room that clashed horribly with the décor of the room.

"You would always play in the afternoons after school and practice for at least two hours a day without missing. Those were the hours I saw you truly happy. I... I couldn't bring myself to leave it with Mom and Dad or to give it away. This is _yours _to give away."

His speech broke the spell seeing such majestic instrument had evoked in me. I touched the soft wood and cleaned the dust from the keytops. A finger slipped and I accidentally pressed a key, but the sound it made was so beautiful and _important _that I was barely aware I was already sitting in front of the piano with my fingers poised above it.

At first I pressed random keys that made no sense, but the combination of noises left me so giddy that I just continued. Soon I just let my fingers move by themselves instead of ordering them to press a certain key. After minutes of mistakes, a melody started flowing from my fingers, a familiar combination of sounds so magnificent that my eyes closed by themselves and I enjoyed the beauty of the music I was creating.

Waves crashed in the shore, but I paid them no mind for at the moment I was a husband protecting my family from a raid. I was a mother ordering my children to go back inside. I was a girl dancing in the rain with my betrothed. I was a king sentencing a man to die. I was a man fighting in the war that would decide my future. I was a poet writing down my thoughts with ink and paper. I was a brother that picked the best berries for my sister.

I was a girl with a dream of playing piano, of protecting her little brother, of meeting new places, of tasting new cultures, of being happy.

"Who are you?"

My fingers stopped playing immediately and I stared at my zanpakuto's spirit. The wolf still looked as majestic as before, with bright golden eyes and the whitest fur with his yellow reiatsu flowing gently behind him like a mane. I remembered this question quite well, for it was one of the first questions he had asked me. Then I had believed he was joking, but now I understood.

"I'm a sister, a father, a son, a warrior… I'm many people that have passed and are still alive, but my name is Artemis now."

The wolf simply stared at me for a couple of minutes until he nodded and tilted his head. "I've known, ever since you landed in Soul Society, what you were." He looked at the waves and there was something forlorn about him. "I've traveled across the waves, to places you can't go, and have met you many times and have known how you died many times. They may all have different lives, but they're all you."

"I still don't remember everything. I have snippets, moments, but I can't remember a whole life other than my own as Bea."

He nodded. "You cannot expect to fully awaken as a Transcendental in just under an hour. Your soul has been asleep for many centuries, and it will probably take decades for all your memories and knowledge to return. But you know who were, you know your past, and you know who you are, so my name is something you deserve."

My eyes widened and I stood up from the piano bench. "Your name?"

The wolf's golden eyes narrowed. "Your powers can be easily stolen, and not only would it be dangerous for certain people to be immortal, but I must protect the memories of all your lives, as well as yours. Accept me as your zanpakuto."

"Give me your name."

"_Raibaju_."

* * *

><p><em>Gyosei: <em>Morning Star

_Raibaju: _Lightning (or Ray) Fang Beast

Yup, so after around three years of waiting, she finally got her zanpakuto. I was thinking about cutting the chapter before he said the name, but you guys have been patient with me and thus I said it. Plus I've been hinting about what Art is for far too long and decided that it was about time to tell you guys. I'll explain what this entails later on. Also, that means that that particular end of the plot has been wrapped up, meaning this arc is almost over.

She won't be powerful in a day, let me assure you that. I know I have made her average, at times ranking her above average, and many of you want her to be powerful. All with due time. She'll be able to defend herself, that's for sure. As for romance, I've also decided to explore the romantic area, though with whom is still up in the air.

I also predict that next chapter will be the last chapter before Ichigo and company come forth and crash Soul Society.

Any comments, criticisms, or concerns are greatly appreciated. Your reviews really do make my day.


	20. Responsibility

**I deserve a medal, I really do. Fastest updated I've done in my life, probably. I suggest that you read this chapter if you know you won't be doing anything in the next twenty minutes.**

**As always thanks to Undying Soul98, animagirl, Emzy2k11, Bluekit5. animefanxD, Guest, and xXLeMeowXx for leaving such encouraging reviews. Also thanks to those who Favorited and Followed this story. All you guys are awesome.**

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><p>I felt like drowning in cold water. I gasped for air, and luckily I inhaled it immediately. I blearily opened my eyes to a pitch black room, a raging thunderstorm, and two faces looking down on me, one concerned and the other one slightly nervous, and only because I knew Seishirou's facial expressions well.<p>

"Bea! Are you okay? You just fainted!"

My mind wanted to tell him to be quiet, but I just nodded. "It's fine, Al. I'm feeling all right." At least my English was back, and I could suddenly feel the information of other languages at my disposal.

His face morphed from stressed to relieved in three seconds, which was the most emotion I'd seen in a person in a long time. Though I still didn't fully remember my past life, I remembered and felt an interesting reaction to being in Al's vicinity. That he could see and touch shinigami was disconcerting, more so that his aura had been affecting the sudden influx of hollows. I tried to keep my suspicious eyes to myself, but who was this person?

"Are you crazy?" another voice interrupted in Japanese. "Do you know how many rules you've broken interacting with a human? Besides, he's been trying to explain something to me and you know I don't understand English."

I glanced at him, unamused. "Calm down, it's not like I drove my zanpakuto through his chest and gave him my powers." I stood up and cleaned the imaginary dust in my shihakusho. "At any rate, just use the Kikanshinki and we'll be done here."

"Is this the guy that was causing the hollow attacks?"

Now that I was aware of my surroundings, the lack of negativity was palpable in the air. Had my visit been that necessary to his psyche? "Yeah, that's him. He was upset that his sister hadn't visited him in a while, but I convinced him to let go of his emotions." Telling Seishirou that Al was my brother would raise unnecessary questions, namely how old I was and, after that question had been established, just _how _I've become a shinigami in such short time.

When I came here, I hadn't really understood that I carried the accumulated reiryoku of around a hundred lifetimes, but now that I did, I wasn't about to go publishing that.

All this time I hadn't noticed Al looking at me with an ever-increasing bewildered and skeptical look. "I should explain to him what we're going to do. If not he'll be uncooperative."

My superior nodded and motioned me to go ahead.

"Appear bored and unsurprised, but I remember you, Al." Just as I told him, Al kept his suspicious face, but instinctively I knew that he was elated. "We're going to use a device to erase your memory of this encounter," –I raised my hand to stop him from disagreeing– "but I have a feeling this won't work. So when you _do_ remember, look inside the piano and you'll find an address. Go there and tell the man in charge to send me a message and I'll go and explain everything to you, alright."

He furrowed his brow. "I don't know why I have to forget, but I trust you, Bea. Don't worry; I'll remember."

I smiled brightly at him, but schooled my expression before I regarded Seishirou. From his look of utter trust, I knew that he didn't understand what I've said. "It's done. He said to take him his bed because he's a light sleeper."

Seishirou voiced his assent and stood by Al, waiting expectantly. "Take him to your room." I told Al in English. "That's where you're gonna fall asleep."

Both men left the living room, leaving me to my own devices. I was quick to deduce that Al had pen and paper next to his phone because he was horrible with his to-dos. Once I located the materials, I neatly wrote the name and address of Urahara Shoten, a place easily accessibly and loyal to me. I folded the people in four halves and hid it inside the piano in a place he might not accidentally come across. Once I was done, I went to the farthest side of the room and stood in front of the window, partly to look innocent and partly to look at the thunderstorm.

When I came here, it was already cloudy, but had I really caused that?

Raibaju was strangely quiet.

I sensed more than saw Seishirou step inside the living room. "Whatever you told him must've worked wonders. He didn't resist a single bit."

"Explaining things to people typically does that."

He chuckled. "True, true. It's a good thing you are here. By the way, what happened? Why did you faint?"

My hand moved to touch my zanpakuto, which was securely strapped in my obi sash. "I learned his name."

Seishirou's eyes widened and he let out an easy laugh that warmed my chest. "That's quite awesome. When are you going to release the shikai?"

I shrugged. "During practice, I guess."

"You're not gonna tell me his name?"

"Nope."

"Ouch, and here I thought we were friends."

My smile was impossibly wide. "You made me wait until practice to tell me yours, so I'll extend the courtesy."

"Fine, don't tell me. Let's patrol until Thursday and then go back. We still need to write our report."

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><p><em>Sunday, July 8, 2007<em>

Out of all the days of the week, Sundays were my favorites. I started with a spar with Fuji-sensei that started at five and ended around six thirty. Even though I had grown much in the last few years, Fuji still had the advantage all the time and beat my ass quite thoroughly. But, much to the relief of my pride, I had gotten exponentially better, so good that I made my sensei sweat and sometimes even swear, though that was rarer than baa-chan not drinking tea.

After Fuji humbled me, I told him about my week and what I've been learning. He was elated to hear that I had finally learned my zanpakuto's name and his release command, though I still hadn't activated shikai because there had been no time and no reason, but I would during the spar with the ranked shinigami. It was the only time we were allowed to spar with other people with out shikai, otherwise we would be breaking a few rules, and that was bad inside the Sixth Division.

Seeing pride in his eyes was the biggest accomplishment I've made.

After that, I went to visit baachan, who always had tea waiting for us. Every once in a while Hitsugaya would join us, though not as Hitsugaya-taichou, but rather as Toushiro, at the insistence of our shared grandmother. It did take him a while to accept this, but once he did he acted as if the equal treatment had lasted for decades.

As soon as she saw me, she left the steaming teapot she was preparing and hurried next to me."Oh, Art-chan, that looks like it's going to bruise." I leaned down so that she could touch my cheek. "Masashi is still as ruthless as ever, isn't he?"

"That's good, though. I almost never get hit in the face."

"Purple doesn't suit you, yeah," a deep voice observed from the table with barely restrained amusement.

I narrowed my eyes at the figure sitting and enjoying his tea. "Oh, hey, Toushiro. Didn't see you there. Have you grown smaller?"

The room became colder and full of static at the same time. Hanari-baachan tutted and pointed at both of us. "Now, now, children, calm down. This is unbecoming behavior of shinigami your stature."

I snorted. "He mustn't have any, considering he's a squirt and all."

The temperature dropped a few more degrees. "Just because I'm out of uniform doesn't mean I can't beat you."

"That's it. There will be no tea for either of you if you continue."

"Baachan!" we both whined.

Holding back my pout, I went to sit at one end of the squared table, glaring daggers at the cup in front of me. This was the only time I could tease Hitsugaya without the repercussions, since Hanari made it clear that under her roof we were equals. Of course, he hated it and still tried to assert his dominance, but we both enjoyed this back and forth game of insults. Something told me that he had to repress his temper in the office, another reason to thank Matsumoto Rangiku.

"So, how was your week, Toushiro-kun?" she asked once she was seated at the seat adjacent to mine.

The answered succinctly, "Tiring."

Hanari nodded, not at all perturbed by the lack of answer. "And you, Art-chan?"

I smirked and raised an eyebrow. "I learned my zanpakuto's name."

Her lidded eyes opened a bit to reveal dark pupils, and I could even sense Hitsugaya's surprise. "Really? That's wonderful! What's his name?"

**_Everyone makes it sound as if you had a child. Stop parading me around._**

_Shut up. I'm spreading the good news._

"Raibaju. Though he's quite the handful."

"A lightning-type zanpakuto," Hitsugaya said quietly. "About time. I've known it was something to do with electricity ever since your hair got frizzed when you were angry."

"Ah, yeah, the frizzy days. It doesn't happen anymore, thankfully."

"Well, let's celebrate Art-chan's success, alright? You've come long ways from the girl I taught kanji to."

The white-haired captain looked at me curiously. "Baachan taught you kanji?"

Though inquiries about my questionable past unnerved me, I tried to maintain my composure. Last time someone had delved into my knowledge (or lack thereof) in languages, I had been discovered to have memories of my past life. Luckily, no one was a perceptive as Aizen, but I knew Hitsugaya would grow to be intelligent and cunning enough. "Yeah, I was quite the illiterate."

"Oh, you had a very interesting accent too. You've changed a lot since then."

Though I was smiling at Hanari, I could feel the dread overwhelm me as I saw Hitsugaya staring at the table with a pensive look in his face. He had the memory of an elephant, and he must be putting together tidbits of information either Hanari or I said without much thought. But now that the spotlight was on me, there was nothing I could do to hide it should he figure it out.

"At least you don't conform yourself with mediocrity."

There was once a time when I didn't want to climb the ranks of Shino's class and would've been comfortable being a nameless shinigami. Those were the days I thought I was in a coma, and although I was right, I was also _very _wrong in thinking that this was a dream. Oh, how far I've come. "I needed some people to make sense of me here and there."

He smirked. "That's right. I always knew I would make a great life teacher."

Hanari giggled and I snorted. "Grow a few inches and then we'll talk."

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday, July 11, 2007<em>

Waking up at the crack of dawn had always been hard. It was worse when I was an unranked shinigami, because I had to share my room with four people I had never grown fond of, and waking up to their _lovely_ faces wasn't the best feeling in the world. Now I was alone, but my room was only big enough to have a bed and a nightstand, and mobility was very limited.

But, today was the ranked shinigami sparring day, and most of us were releasing shikai to prepare for the Shingami Examinations, which were in less than a month. Now that I had learned my zanpakuto's name, I had decided to sign up for the Shinigami Examinations and move up the ladder now that I felt worthy of having a higher position. Hopefully Raibaju would be enough to get me to at least Tenth Seat.

I ate breakfast in the mess hall with Yuuma and Yuuki. Though the twins hadn't decreased in creepiness one bit, they were the only ones that enjoyed silence to the same extent, if not more, than me. When they felt like conversing, they would tell me insights on a person I had recently sparred, analyzing the strengths and weaknesses I may have missed. They were extremely useful acquaintances, and in exchange I made sure to look out for them and keep their surroundings peaceful.

"Now that you know his name, you will participate, correct?" Yuuki's soft voice asked after she finished her meal. She was always the first one to finish, that little vacuum.

"Yeah, I am. What about you two?"

Yuuma shook his head. "We're comfortable where we are."

"Too much responsibility is bad for us."

I hummed in agreement. The piles of paperwork the higher ranks dealt with were enough to scare many shinigami away. Though it helped with weeding out most of the weak, the strongest remained, making the field very competitive.

Most shinigami were leaving the mess hall, marking the start of practice. I believe Renji was in charge of leading practice today, though I wasn't sure. Hopefully he did, because Captain Kuchiki made us work harder and for longer than our lieutenant did. And he usually let me get away with sparring with Mihane, but the captain knew of our friendship and wouldn't allow that to happen.

But Mihane wasn't here yet, so it didn't matter.

I reached the division courtyard, a vast an open space that acted as our division training space. Though it was big, it couldn't accommodate all 200 members of the Sixth Division all at once, making it necessary to have a schedule. The non-ranked shinigami were assigned a number out three, and there were around sixty shinigami assigned to each number. Ones trained from seven to eight-thirty, twos from eight-thirty to ten, threes from ten to eleven-thirty, and the ranked shinigami from three to five. My first year I was a Two, and though my schedule was less shitty than the Ones, it was still a pain waking up before everyone else.

This schedule was in place for every day except for the four Wednesdays before the Shinigami Examinations. The whole day was exclusive to the ranked shinigami, because out of all the members, they had the most chance of being promoted. Exceptions to this was first-year outs, who were given the extra time to refine their talents.

The gathered shinigami filed themselves in a line, though there were only enough of us to make two lines. There were 48 ranked shinigami. I shared my seat with two others, but it was rarer to share a seat above Sixth. Gotei 13 made sure to grant seats based on merit instead of overthrowing the current ranked member, because that would lead to unwanted hostility.

Renji usually stepped outside to the courtyard around five minutes late, but this time he was early. "The person to your right will be your sparring partner for today. I'm warning you early on that Kuchiki-taichou will make an appearance later, so don't slack off!"

Though we all voiced our confirmation, I could tell we were all upset Captain Kuchiki would be coming today, but it was expected; every captain wanted their shinigami to become stronger because that brought more prestige to their Division.

The person to my right was a woman named Higuchi Kiyomi. She was more on the short side, and though she was not as muscular as other people, she was the current Fifteenth Seat. Not only that, but she was a transfer from the Eleventh Division, so if she had survived, that meant she was _strong_.

We went to a more secluded area, and by the time we were positioned, most of our colleagues had already started. "Ready, Costa-san?" she asked with a determined look in her dark brown eyes. She got readied her stance and beckoned me to attack her.

I nodded and made the first move, using my speed to my advantage. She met me halfway, and though she was unaccustomed to my speed, her defense was strong. She pushed me away, forcing me to shunpo to safety, but once I gathered my bearings, I pounded on her.

She parried every blow and had enough time to force me to defend myself, which wasn't good. I knew I had to trick her, but nobody would fall for the false sense of security ever since I had gained my Nineteenth Seat that way. She had barely moved from her initial position, forcing me to do all the work and tire my body quicker, which would leave more openings in my offense. I had to somehow change the tide and force her to attack, though I didn't know how long I could last with her onslaught.

The latest wave of attack had left me particularly tired, making me retreat a couple of feet away from Kiyomi. She was breathing heavily, but she barely look tired, which made me slightly depressed. "Are you not going to attack, Higuchi-san?"

She shook her head and pointed her zanpakuto at me. "I'm sorry, but we must finish this now that Kuchiki-taichou is here." My eyes widened; I had barely felt him enter, but there he was, currently observing the shinigami sparring at the other side of the courtyard. "_Kesu, Banrinochōjō."_

Her sword widened considerably to resemble a claymore. I was surprised she could wield such a sword with only one hand, and it was then that I knew I wouldn't be able to win this battle with my wits alone. If I had trouble with a thin katana, this great sword would slap me away as if I were a fly.

Though I had meditated with Raibaju more than usual, I was still hesitant to release my zanpakutou. Then again, if I never used shikai, then I would never learn how to handle its power and battle with it. Even better, Kiyomi looked capable of defending herself, so I shouldn't be worried of hurting her.

Kiyomi launched herself at me before I could even recite the Kaigo, or incantation. I felt my arms weaken considerable under the blow of her claymore, but I had to hold still. The posture my zanpakutou needed for release was extending it outwards, diagonally from my body. If I could shunpo far away and fast enough, then I would be able to awaken Raibaju and remain unharmed.

Once her attack became weaker, I shunpoed a couple of feet away from her and assumed my posture. "_Hibana, Raibaju."_

The shape of my zanpakuto didn't change, being the same katana with golden hilt and black tsuba with triangles inside. However, the sword was encased with crackling yellow electricity, and I felt my reiatsu emanating to match the amount of energy the shikai demanded out of me. Kiyomi was astonished, judging from her slackened hold on Banrinochojo. It was well known that I had trouble with my zanpakutou, so I could understand why she was so surprised.

I grinned and prepared my legs for the shunpo but my body couldn't move. I felt paralyzed, though I knew it wasn't because the electricity was created from my own reiatsu. With much effort, I raised my left hand and I grit my teeth when I saw it was covered in electricity, as well as the lower half of my body.

"C-Costa-san? Are you alright?"

I felt raindrops on my cheeks and heard distant thunder, but I wasn't really aware of it anymore. I couldn't move, my heart beat wildly, and I could feel my body weakening, though the power my zanpakuto exerted grew stronger by the minute.

_**Let go! Artemis, seal me right now! This is killing you!**_

_I can't. I can think but my mouth won't move. I feel so light. Can't you do something?_

The pain jumped from nonexistent to overwhelming in seconds. It was interesting, how my own power was killing me, but I knew I wouldn't be able to laugh at the irony, ever. Maybe once I remembered this in my next life I would be more cautious of wolves that gave people powers.

I sensed someone behind me and before I could warn the person to stay away, I felt a sharp jab on my neck and crumpled to the floor.

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><p>The soft sand at my feet was comforting to touch. Every moment I visited this place, I would always be barefoot and wear a white yukata. which was a nice change from the uniform I was supposed to wear. Not only that, but it was no longer stormy, and the cleared skies and beautiful ocean made this place the closest I had ever been to paradise.<p>

Raibaju was sitting on the shore, watching the horizon. I knew that the memories of my past lives were across the horizon, in a place that I couldn't reach, but I knew that he had been there many times and knew more about me than I knew myself. It must be sad for Raibaju, because though he knew those people and cherished them, my past lives couldn't love him because they were memories, and memories couldn't love.

i sat down next to him and accompanied him in his gazing. "What happened out there? I almost died."

"Indeed, you almost did."

"Why did it happen? I thought that your power affected others, not me."

"The problem is that your body is too young to handle the stress of my power. In your inner world, physical constraints don't matter much, but out there they're very real. My power overwhelmed you, and I apologize for my lack of foresight. I should've known."

I smiled and placed my hand on top of his head, playing with his fur gently. "It's okay, I wasn't hurt. I can't blame you for that, for not knowing. I'm not aware of what I don't know, and neither are you. But why did the electricity hurt me?"

Raibaju raised his head high. "The electricity created from your reiatsu will not hurt you, but the lightning you created from reishi is harder to control and it can impair you. We need to learn how to control my power and bend your surroundings to your will, since you have the power of electricity and lightning at your disposal. It won't be easy, and it will take some time, but I have a feeling you will control it."

"And once I'm old enough, these constraints won't be necessary."

"For now, do not release your shikai, but if you feel the need to call for a small fraction of my power, use the command _kageru_. Our sword will release a small shockwave that will paralyze a shinigami weaker than you for a short amount of time."

"But not stronger."

The wolf shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. But this is for your own good."

My petting became even gentler. "Raibaju, we've gotten this far by training hard on other areas. Sure, it's sad that once I get the power I'm unable to use it, but I became the shinigami I am without the power of lightning and electricity. We'll be fine."

Raibaju looked at me, his golden eyes soft. "Thank you, Artemis. You all truly have the same soul. It's time for you to wake up."

I stared at the piano situated in the distance. When I forgot my past life as Beatrice, the piano had left my inner world, but I hadn't given it too much thought because it was simply a piano and I didn't see the importance of it. "I didn't even get to play. Now that it's here, I just want to play."

"The piano won't go anywhere, I'll make sure of it. Go."

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><p><em>?<em>

I awoke in a white room, alone. I wore the trademark white yukata the Fourth Division made their patients wear. My arms and hands were bandaged, but before I could raise my hand to unwrap them, a girl stepped in.

She wore a pink shihakusho with a pink hat reminiscent of nurses in my world. She had a gentle face, something many patients needed after waking up. "Good morning, Costa-san. Let me help you take those of." The nurse hurried to my side and unwrapped the bandages, revealing arms without scars, much to my relief. "We knew that the electricity that hit you wouldn't burn you since it is made out of your own reiatsu, but it still wouldn't hurt to apply some ointment and have them heal."

Just to make sure functionality was good, I raised my arm and flexed my fingers. "Thank you," I said in my soft voice. "What exactly happened?" I already knew the diagnosis, but I still wanted to hear it from someone else.

"Your power overwhelmed your body. Though relatively rare, it is seen in case when the user's power does not match his or her zanpakuto's. We recommend you exercise great caution next to you activate your shikai."

Oh, I would. There would be no more shikai from Costa Artemis. "I will. Can I go or do I still need to stay here?"

"You can go whenever you want to, as you've been monitored during the night. We've already sent the Sixth Division clear instructions that you must not exert physical activity at the moment, just in case your neurons were damaged and they need rest. Your clothes are in the storage room, next to the lobby. Just check yourself out and the receptionist will tell you exactly what to do."

"Thank you. I'll be on my way."

The nurse left, and once I was sure all my body parts were functioning properly, I exited the room, following the most amount of people, for they would lead me to the receptionist. I had never stayed overnight at the Fourth Division. The people were very nice, though, and I understood why the Eleventh Division's members wanted to take advantage of them. One of the receptionists asked a few questions, made a call confirming my discharge claim, and led me to the storage room to the little cubicle with my patient number on it. She then pointed to the changing rooms and asked me if I needed anything else, excusing herself once I told her everything was fine.

I felt relief at finally being able to hold Raibaju once again. I knew it had barely been a day, but I had felt the loneliness his absence had caused. I was just happy to be reunited with him.

Under no particular pressure, I made a leisurely walk back to the Sixth Division. Airi tackled me as soon as she saw me, stating how worried she was and that he and Sachi had visited me yesterday, but the nurses had shooed them away. She also described two men had visited me before them, and I quickly deduced they were Renji and Seishirou.

"Did they say anything?"

"Not really, only that they hoped you got better. But seriously, that was scary. There was a thunderstorm on top of the Sixth Division and nobody knew the reason behind it. Now I know it's you."

"Don't tell anyone, though. I have to go and deal with my Division; they're probably not happy."

She patted my bicep and smiled reassuringly. "No one will blame you for activating your shikai. The first time I did it I fainted along with another unranked shinigami."

"Dehydration is rather nasty."

Airi laughed, and I must admit that she warmed me. "See, it happens to all of us. Now go get your division out of the way and let's meet for dango."

Dango actually sounded really good at the moment, or any type of food for that matter. I told her I would meet her up at seven, which was a good four hours away, but I just wanted to accommodate for any type of mishap.

The gatekeepers opened the door, letting me in, and I tried not to be bothered by the scrutinizing gazes of my colleagues. Though only the ranked shinigami had been present, I was sure that the news had spread in the day I had been missing. No one looked at me with hostility, only with something akin to fear, which was better than what I had been brazing myself.

"Art! There you are!" a voice whispered excitedly. Renji grinned down at me, for he was still a good five inches taller than me. "Quite the show you put yesterday."

"Any damage I should prepare myself for?"_  
><em>

"Nah, most of the lower shinigami already cleaned that up. There were no injured other than you, not that I would call yours an injury. Taichou did want to see you as soon as possible."

Ah, there it was, what I've been dreading the most. I gulped. "Did he look… different?"

"Well, since anger is the only emotion he knows, he's not angry."

"Nothing good can come out of that. It's either anger or something sinister, I know it."

He snorted. "And you always told me to grow some balls. Oh, here we are."

Though we weren't in front of the door that led to his office, we were in Renji's office, which was a short hallway away from Captain Kuchiki's office. Why did the hallway look shorter? "Ah, Renji, wanna be the best friend ever?"

"I already deal with him more than all of you. Suck it up and just go, and that's an order."

I rolled my eyes at his failed attempt to be an authority, but I nevertheless started on my trek to his office. I calmed my reiatsu enough so that nobody would assume I was scared shitless and my knock on the door was strong and firm.

"Come in."

My legs almost gave away.

I opened the door and entered, making sure to close the door quietly behind me. He was, _surprisingly_, working on the division paperwork, though the pile did look bigger than usual. In the beginning I would grow annoyed that he didn't deign to look at people in the eye or in their general direction when speaking to him, but I'd never felt more grateful until now.

So of course he would put his brush in the inkwell and raise his head to stare at me, because might as well shred my last piece of dignity while _whatever _governs Soul Society is at it.

He looked at me expectantly, and I wished my legs were made of lead so that I had a valid excuse not to step closer. I tried to hide my wobble and walked to the middle of the room, staring at him with my impassive face. "You wished to see me, Kuchiki-taichou."

"Lightning is quick and powerful, one of the most deadly combinations, and hard to control, as well. My prognosis was correct in that you possessed the power of electricity, but I underestimated the lengths of your power. It is because of this that I prohibit you from releasing your zanpakutou under any circumstances."

My mouth gained a mind of its own. "But Kuch–"

A glare quickly silenced whatever argument I had in my mind and I forcibly sealed my mouth. "You will not release your zanpakutou, even if someone of this Division is in grave danger. Failure to follow this would not only be foolish, but I will make sure to strip you of your powers for being reckless and endangering the lives of your fellow shinigami." My fists clenched and I had to look down so that he didn't see my murderous eyes. "In exchange for following this rule, I will be giving you lessons every Sunday from six to eight on how to control your power." I blinked and quickly looked up to him, surprised. His face was as cold as ever. "Once I deem you ready, I will lift this ban from you and let you do as you wish."

"I thought _Senbonzakura_ was–"_  
><em>

"I wasn't born with Senbonzakura at my hand, and I had to learn how to control his power and make sure he only harmed enemies. Though I lack patience for failure, I am a capable teacher, Costa. If you have nothing left to say, you are dismissed."

"Raibaju taught me a release that would severely impair his power. Can I use that?"

His eyes narrowed in thought. "I will gauge its power and your control over it on Sunday. Until then, no, you're not allowed."

I took a deep breath and bowed, signaling my exit. Long days awaited me.

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, June 7, 2008<em>

I woke up as soon as I felt the rays of the sun hitting my face. Sunrise was at around five-twenty in Soul Society, and although most shinigami were asleep, enjoying their day off, I was getting ready to start one of the most tedious parts of my week.

Captain Kuchiki was a man that expected me to succeed at everything the moment I first started. Though at first I had been surprised that he had taken me under his wing, it made sense after a few weeks of grueling training. Having a loose cannon amongst his ranks would make him open to scrutiny, and he wasn't about to admit failure by transferring me to another division. He may be a noble, but he knew how to fix things with his own hands.

In this case, the _thing _was me.

I emptied the bath tub full of slightly dark water and wrapped the towel around my body. The only good part of this arrangement was that I had the bath to myself. I had to share the bathroom with the other ten ranked shinigami that lived in this hallway. It was better than being unranked; they had to shower with other people, though at least there were curtains to preserve their modesty.

Still, it wasn't all that nice.

My shihakusho was neatly ironed and waiting to be used. One of the perks of being Tenth Seat was that by now, I was entitled to no longer being in charge of things like laundry and cooking. Of course, I had more responsibilities such as being in charge of a small squad and training them, and even dealing with a small amount of paperwork. But it was all good, because dealing with other people –though not ranked anywhere near first in my list of hobbies– was much better than cleaning or doing housework.

The more I learned about my fighting style, the more I customized my shihakusho, though not too much. The sleeves were shorter and reached until my elbows, and my hakama pants, though less noticeable, were narrower, clinging to my legs more than before. I combed my hair, which was a medium brown after having bathed, and braided it, letting it fall in my left side. I had cut my hair two weeks ago and now it fell just under my breasts, but it was still a hinderance to the type of training I had adopted. Maybe I should cut it even more.

I checked and it was five-fifty-two, so it was still a bit early. Nevertheless, I made my way to the training rooms, the fourth to the left, the one Kuchiki-taichou had decided to have our training sessions. The room was relatively small, not meant to hold more than five people, but it was comfortable and the wooden floor was soft.

There was a presence in the other side of the shoji door, Captain Kuchiki's reiatsu, and sure enough he was there, standing in the middle of the room. It was five-fifty-two when I left, right?

"You are not late, Costa."

I blinked my surprise away and bowed in my usual greeting. "Good morning, Kuchiki-taichou."

"Have you mastered the exercise I gave you last week?"

Concentrating all my power on the task, I created a small electric line in my hand and made it travel up my arm in a spiral without actually touching my arm. Using my mind always left me more tired than using my body, and Captain Kuchiki made sure to push me to my limits. The reason why his sessions were so taxing was because he made me use all my brain power into the task of controlling power. Knowing the amount of power necessary to achieve a task was harder than gaining the power in the first place.

"Good," he declared, and I had to thank years of schooling my expression to not make me look like a grinning child. "Now it's time to increase the level. You will have that static travel from the ends of your limbs to your chest."

I had to hold my smirk. After spending almost a year with these classes, I had learned what to expect from Captain Kuchiki, and though he was immensely strong, he was a very predictable person. I had practiced that exercise for the last six days and I could make the lightning go from my chest to the ends of my limbs and backwards.

Unsurprisingly, the captain did not look impressed and still wore that cold mask. One of these days, I swear I'll make him look at least a tiny bit astonished. "Very well, now do it to me."

I almost choked on my own saliva. "But taichou, if it hits your chest it could–"

"Then I hope for your own good and my health that you remember the year we've spent on these exercises."

I frowned, still unconvinced, but nodded in determination. I could will the electricity to appear with my mind without needing to activate my zanpakutou, which was good. Though Captain Kuchiki had agreed to let me use the weakened version of Raibaju, he was still steadfast in his belief that learning how to control my power was better for Soul Society in the long run. And he was willing to risk his life to prove that he had done a good job, too.

I willed red sparks to circle around his hands and his feet. He had told me to get them to his chest, but he had never specified the intensity behind the sparks. My power was measured by the color spectrum, with the higher frequencies associated with hotter and more powerful electricity and vice versa. Red was the coolest color meanwhile violet was the highest and most dangerous color. The highest I could go was yellow, and I only knew this because this was the color that appeared during my spar a year ago. Raibaju wasn't kidding when he said I had decades to go before fully mastering my shikai.

Kuchiki looked as unperturbed as always, calmly observing the red charges spiraling upwards without touching his limbs. He would be shocked if my electricity hit him, unlike me who was immune to its power. The spark in the left arm got dangerously close to his forearm but I quickly broadened its path without having it touch his ribcage. Once the sparks circled around his chest I let out a sigh of relief and willed them to disappear.

"Impressive," he admitted. My eyes bulged out of their sockets; had I heard him right? "You are still too weak to harm me, especially unconsciously, but not once did I feel the shock. I believed that we would spent the remainder of our lesson practicing these three exercises, but I have underestimated you. You have the rest of the day free, but now that you have impressed me be prepared for my higher standards."

With that the dark-haired noble left the training room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I was unsure whether to whoop in elation or groan in misery, but since I was given the rare opportunity to choose, I went for the former. I had just impressed Kuchiki Byakuya, head of the Kuchiki clan and captain of the Sixth Division. If that wasn't evidence that I was doing something right, I didn't know what was.

My colleagues were probably perturbed by my unusually good mood. Not that I was a grouch or anything, but I didn't actively show emotion, keeping both my happiness and sadness to myself and a select few. But now, who cared? I had impressed the captain, the world didn't make sense and might as well go along with it.

I saw a Hell Butterfly fluttering towards my direction and I was surprised to find out it was addressed to me. I extended my index finger and it perched on it, relying a message. "_Costa Artemis, you are required in the Twelfth Division Living World Department."_

_**Why are you required** _**there_?_**

_Beats me, but it can't have anything to do with my recruitment. Captain Kurotsuchi is too proud to lower himself to that level. Well, there's only one way to find out._

I made my way to the Twelfth Division barracks, using my shunpo to get there before I run into anyone. Fate would have it that I saw someone in the way, though, someone I couldn't bring myself to ignore.

"Art! How have you been?"

"Hi, Sachi, it's been a while. How is the Eighth Division treating you?" Sachi had originally chosen the Tenth Division due to its happy atmosphere, but she had been transferred to the Eighth Division now that it lacked a Ninth Seat. She had been ecstatic, though I have heard nothing of her ever since the transfer occurred two weeks ago.

"It's been tough getting used to the new responsibilities, but I've admired Ise-fukutaichou ever since we were in Shino and now I work under her. How is Raibaju coming along?"

The sudden change of topic surprised me, but a sly grin split my face once I knew. "Oh, how was Airi's date with Kannogi?"

She blushed and looked anywhere _but _my face. "Uh, why are you asking me?"

"Because I know you set them up. Don't play me like a fool. Now that you've learned from Kyoraku-taichou, you're quite the matchmaker."

Her blue eyes narrowed and she pouted. "Fine, you win. But don't tell Ise-fukutaichou I've been corrupted."

I moved two fingers across my lips. "My lips are sealed."

Now that Sachi was embarrassed, she found an excuse and left my company. Though I wanted to keep teasing her, I had an errand to run, and without any more distractions, I arrived at the Twelfth Division's Living World Headquarters.

The sliding doors opened and I stepped in the highly technological room. I willed my heart to not feel regret over my decision, to stand firm in my ethics, but my resolve wavered with every experiment I saw in the room. I could have done wonderful things here, could have improved the lives of many people, but _my _morals had prevented me from doing so.

Morals could be wrong all the time.

"Ah, Costa-san, you're here." Akon had been one of the favorite researchers in the Shinigami Research and Development Institute. I hadn't climbed the importance ladder fast enough to work with him, but I had exchanged ideas with him before. "You've received an anonymous message from District 3600." He handed me a white paper and though his expression was cool, I could see the underlying curiosity in his eyes.

_He's here._

_-Cat and the Hat_

Ah, so Al had remembered. This confirmed my theory, then.

"Akon-san, could you do me a favor?" He nodded, though didn't appear entirely sure. "I need you to ready the Senkaimon to District 3600. I'll give you my research and even hypotheses on nuclear energy using reishi if you do this for me."

I knew it was a great deal. Akon had nothing to lose in letting me use the Twelfth Division's private Senkaimon and much to gain instead. I, on the other hand, would give up approximately seven months worth of hard research, but since I had none of the resources to implement experimentation, the exchange was the only way I would ever see my project come to light.

"Very well. Give it to me when you come back."

The Senkaimon was ready in record time and I was in Karakura Town in less than twenty minutes. Even though I hadn't gone to that place in three years, I had gone so many times that I knew the location by memory.

Urahara Shoten was in the outskirts of Karakura Town. It was an underground shop that sold shinigami goods to those that didn't care who the maker was. Though he was stupid enough to put his name in the title, he probably knew that Soul Society didn't talk about the traitors Urahara Kisuke and Shihoin Yoruichi, so his business was safe from the higher-ups in Soul Society.

I went in and quickly located Al's reiatsu. I found him sitting in one of the guest rooms, petting a mewling Yoruichi. He immediately stood up when he saw me, shocked by my appearance, though I didn't know why. "Bea…"

"Hello, Al. Long time no see. It seems you finally remembered."

He nodded slowly, bewildered. "Yeah, it came to me when I started horsing around with your piano. Sorry about that, by the way."

I waved my hand, dispelling his worries. "It's alright, I have a new one of my own."

"You promised answers."

"And I'll give them to you, but first." I breathed in deeply and bowed to Yoruichi. "Good afternoon, sensei. I've missed your lessons."

Yoruichi got up, her tail swinging lazily. "No worries, Art-chan. All is good and forgiven."

Just before she left, I whispered, "You were right; the old Art-chan is much better."

Her golden eyes softened and she nodded her head imperceptibly. She left the room and slid the door shut behind her with her tail.

"How did he do that?"

"She," I clarified. I ignored his stupefied face and continued, "And I don't know, that's a question I can't answer. But you have many questions, so I'll let you ask."

I had already predicted what questions he was going to ask. I explained in the best detail what Soul Society was, what the Gotei 13 did, about the Rukon districts and how we protected them, about hollows and how they were created, and many other tidbits of information that compromised what had become as the afterlife. I had come in the early morning and now it was almost time for lunch.

"So I'm guessing you're not an atheist anymore?"

I laughed, loudly. Oh, all the trouble my self-denial had caused me was a running joke between Mihane and me. I had even tried of convincing her that solipsism was right, and much to my amusement, she had been unable to prove her existence to me. "No, I admit I was wrong."

"Damn, Soul Society has changed you. Bea would never admit that."

I frowned. "Al, I'm still Bea. There's no reason to refer to me in third person."

He looked to the side, suddenly uncomfortable. "How did you know I was going to remember?"

I motioned him to sit down and I followed soon after. I had felt something resonate in him the last time I saw him. There was something familiar about him that had told me that nothing would make him forget about our encounter. Now that I had access to more memories of my past life, I recognized this feeling. "How do you feel about immortality?"

Al blinked. He certainly wasn't expecting that question. "Um, it'd be cool, I guess."

"Good, because you are."

"What?"

I held my smile. "The odds are almost nonexistent, but they were there. You and I are Transcendentals, Al. We've lived countless lifetimes, maybe not together, but we have."

I had understood months after receiving my zanpakutou's name just exactly what happened that night. I had always wondered why had my memories awakened meanwhile I played piano? After all, I've played piano since I was six. Not only that, but I had also played piano with Al when we were younger, so it wasn't that, either. But many things had changed since then. I had always been able to see hollows and souls, even if I tried to convince myself they weren't there, but Al hadn't been able to. But suddenly not only was he able to see shinigami, his reiatsu had grown strong enough to affect hollows. Just what he had told himself before I explained everything to him would remain a mystery for now.

Now that we both were in tune with our souls, awakening was imminent.

"You must be wrong. I'm just Alberto, and I've always been Alberto."

"No, your memories are asleep, and rightly so. If Soul Society found out that I've awakened, they'll kill my soul. I have a gut feeling that you're in danger for this very reason, Al; you're vulnerable and someone might want to steal your powers."

"Why did you tell me all of this?"

"Because I owe it to you, and I want to keep you safe. Your growing power would've soon attracted the attention of Soul Society and that's not good. You'll stay here, in Urahara Shoten. They will provide you with food and shelter."

"But Bea, I can't leave my life behind. I have work, a career. Did you know I just started working as a chemical engineer in a fertilizer plant? I can't miss more than a few days."

I grit my teeth; Al wasn't understanding. "Have you seen the hollows?" He nodded, slightly fearful. "Yes, you know how they feed on souls. You've probably seen it too. You know how they look at you, how they want you. You've been safe these last few years because you were lucky, but that luck of yours won't last forever. And once you're eaten by a hollow, it's game over for people like us."

Al and I had very powerful souls; we had to, considering the amount of memories and people we housed in our hearts. If a hollow consumed either of us, it would be consuming the reiryokuu of at least a hundred people. Not only that, but our consciousness would disappear and once a shinigami cleansed our new vessel, our souls would definitely forget everything. My life wouldn't be the life that lost all those precious recollections.

"I understand. And I guess I'll stay."

"I know this is hard for you, throwing away your career like that, but I'm sure Urahara will find something for you that will keep you realized. Speaking of which, I gotta go talk to him about this new arrangement."

I stood up and prepared to open the door, but a hand grabbed my own and impeded me from leaving. "Wait, Bea, don't go! I've just found you."

My smile was sad. "I don't want to leave you either, but if you stay here, I'll be able to visit you. Trust me."

He reluctantly let go of my hand and swallowed. "Alright, I'll hold you to that."

Urahara's reiatsu was something easy to locate, but only when he didn't mind being found. Luckily, this was one of the latter moments. His energy led me to the shop area, which was pleasantly empty.

"Oh, hello, Costa-kun. I sensed you come in but I wasn't sure; it's been a long time, after all."

Guilt creeped in my heart. I knew I had wronged them and hadn't trusted them when they needed me to. Sure, they had kept information from me whereas I had told them everything, but I recognized that they probably had my best (or the world's) best intention in mind. I wanted to apologize, but my pride got in the way. Stupid thing, where had it come from?

"Things have changed. I understand now, what you were trying to protect. I even understand why you lied." I almost didn't remember, but Urahara had explained the reason behind my memories by insinuating I was part of the Transcendentals, though changing certain things, such as a connection with my physical body and stating that it was hereditary. He was correct in saying Soul Society had exterminated them, though it had not been more than two millennia ago and instead had been five hundred years ago. But I understood he was trying to protect me from awakening my soul, though that hadn't worked.

"Well, how can I stay mad at such a cute student. It's alright, Costa-kun, don't worry about it. There are bigger things I should hold a grudge for yet I don't."

His cryptic statement didn't go unnoticed, but I knew that Urahara would hide behind his fan and change the topic if I tried to ask him about it. Besides, I had other things to worry about. "Al is like me, and he needs to be protected from Soul Society."

The sound of a door opening interrupted whatever response he had in mind. I looked at the door and my eyes almost bulged when I saw an all-too-familiar raven-haired woman looking down.

"R-Rukia?"

She whipped her head up. She was just as shocked as I was. "Art? What are you doing here?"

Well, it was very suspicious that I was here, but since Rukia didn't know Urahara and Yoruichi had a shady past even I was not privy to, then she must be honestly surprised. "I was talking to Urahara-san. Um, why are you in a gigai? I thought that patrols didn't require–"

"Can I trust you, Artemis?"

Few people ever used my full name, adopting the nickname that just came to the most unimaginative minds. That she had used all of it after years of friendship meant that this was serious. "Yes, you can."

"I'll come later, Urahara-san. Follow me, Art."

I saw Urahara out of the corner of my eye. "I trust you know what to do, right?"

"Don't worry, Costa-kun! I'll keep Costa-san safe."

With that, Rukia led me out of the shop and started going in a direction I had never gone before. That Rukia was in a gigai was extremely weird, since shinigami patrols never required more than month and were usually incognito. I knew that she was tense, from the way she walked to how taut her shoulders were, and she was quiet. Whatever she wanted to show me was something she couldn't explain.

Eventually we got into a residential clinic. The sign read _Kurosaki Clinic,_ and it was a rather large home, mostly to accommodate for patients, probably. Rukia opened the glass door and let me in, and once again assumed the lead, leaving the medicinal part of the house and going to the residential part. We went upstairs to a room that had the number _15 _on it and she went in.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" a gruff voice asked.

I blinked. The owner of the voice was an orange-haired teenager, not older than fifteen, scowling at Rukia. I went inside and made my presence known, which left him a bit surprised. He bewildered me as well, considering that I could sense his reiatsu, but humans shouldn't have reiryoku to begin with. "Oi, Rukia, who's that? Another shinigami?"

"Yeah, I am," I answered for myself. "Rukia, what…"

She explained everything to me: how he had first seen her in his room; how she'd explained everything to him; how that hollow had taken her by surprise, wounding her, leaving the boy, Kurosaki Ichigo, the only being able to protect his family from a hollow. She had given him her shinigami powers, and he had taken them all by accident. Now she stood by the teenager, helping him complete the duties that should've been hers, meanwhile she regained her powers.

"So you're a human shinigami?" I asked Ichigo.

"Yeah, and you're another shinigami?"

I belatedly realized I hadn't introduced myself. I motioned my shihakusho. "Yes, I am. My name is Costa Artemis."

"And you're gonna freeload like this midget does?" he drawled, pointed a thumb at Rukia.

To say I was surprised by Rukia's violent kick to the teenager's face was an understatement. I had never seen her act so… carefree, as if she wasn't under the strain of decorum. Well, that's because she _wasn't. _Here she wasn't Kuchiki Rukia, member of the Great Noble Kuchiki House; she was simply Rukia.

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, no, I won't. I must be going back to Soul Society now." Rukia stared at me with desperate eyes. I knew what she was thinking. "You've broken many laws in your stay here. As a Division Sixth member, I must uphold the law and be an exemplary shinigami to everyone else." I saw both Ichigo and Rukia stiffen, thinking they knew what I was about to say. "However, if there's something I've learned, it's that the law is not perfect, and loyalty to my friends comes first." Besides, Rukia's decision hadn't really harmed anyone, and I didn't see Ichigo complaining one bit.

Rukia let out a huge sigh of relief and even Ichigo understood a little of what just had happened. "Thank you, Artemis. I know this is asking a lot from you–"

"You asked me to trust you, and that's all I'm doing. I'm sure you'll find a way to solve this problem. I wish I could buy you time, but you know–"

"Yes," she interrupted, her eyes unwavering and warning me not to say anything in front of her charge. "I understand."

We stared for a long time, each of us trying to gauge what the other one was thinking. Though I knew that Rukia trusted me not to say anything, I know she (understandably) feared a slip of the tongue. I, too, was afraid, because whether I wanted to or not, I had become an accomplice the moment I refused to tell my superiors of what I've seen.

"Well," I sighed. There was no use in staying here any longer. "It was nice meeting–"

"You're a good person, Artemis," Ichigo announced, his scowl less pronounced than usual. His familiarity and disrespect should've peeved me, but for some reason I knew that it was a way of showing his comfort, just as he called Rukia by her first name even though he knew her for less than a month.

I couldn't hold the smile. "Thanks, Ichigo. I'll be on my way."

_Hopefully we never see each other again, because if we do, we might be enemies._

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><p>*Kesu Banrinochōjō: Extinguish, Great Wall<p>

*Hibana: Flash

*Kageru: Dim (har har, original)

**Holy crap, this monstrosity was almost 10,000 words long. I think this is the largest chapter I've ever written. I considered splitting this up in two chapters, but dammit, I promised I would start the Soul Society arc after this chapter and I keep my promises.**

**I also did promise that she wasn't going to be all-powerful, but she wasn't going to be weak. I like having the potential to do something, but being unable to much better than having her be powerful. Besides, she's only been on this for ten years, meanwhile others have spent at least forty. **

**Well then, there's a lot to comment for this chapter. Several revelations and twists and I'm sure there must be _something _to comment on. I'll be waiting for your reviews!**

**GAMF**


	21. Fiat Iustitia Ruat Caelum

**Well, I bring the most unfortunate news: since school will start soon, update dates for Musing Atheist will be down low. There is something you can do about it, and that's reminding me that you really want this story updated. Now, I have no idea how my senior year will turn out, but, rest assured, this story will be finished.**

**As always, thank you animagirl, Bleach4Soul, Undying Soul98, animefanxD, and skipbeataddict for reviewing; your comments always make me smile. Also, to all those who added this to their favorites and follow alert, thank you! In retrospective, this story has almost doubled it's follower count in only five chapters, which is a bit surprising but makes me really happy.**

* * *

><p><em>Thursday, July 17, 2008<em>

Though shinigami spent most of their time doing their duties (and lazing around), I had found a particular enjoyment in going to the library. It was in these many visits that I found the inconsistencies in Sereitei's history, ranging from dates to the actors behind certain events to even the events themselves. But after careful study I had managed to create a historical timeline that fit logic, dates, and occurrences, but I still wasn't completely happy about it. If only I had access to the vast amount of information the Kuchiki Clan had, then I wouldn't have this problem to begin with.

The problem had consumed my life this past month. I still trained excessively hard with my division and captain, but I used to socialize in my short free time, but now I just read. My interest was surrounded in Central 46 decisions concerning shinigami who had contact with humans, mainly shinigami who transferred their powers to humans.

Now, I was loyal to Rukia because she was my friend, but my relationship with her did not exempt her from the law. If Janice, my best friend in the Living World, had committed murder and confided it in me, I would've told the police immediately, but not because I was a bad friend, but that was what society required out of me. After all, without justice a society would fail, and where would everything that Seireitei has achieved go?

But that wasn't it. If something happens, I need to mentally prepare myself for the consequences of my actions. If someone finds out that I hid this information from Soul Society, then I need to know what my punishment will be.

So far, there haven't been many documented cases of shinigami transferring their powers to humans. Those that did were different from Rukia's case, since she lost all her powers. Most of the verdicts Central 46 carried out were the same, with barely few lapses: the sealing of their shinigami powers by piercing the Hakusui, or Soul Sleep. When Rukia is found guilty (because I don't think Seireitei will be ignorant to her transgression for much longer), she will lose her status as a shinigami, but luckily for her, she is still a Kuchiki, so at least her life will be better off than even many shinigami.

Overall, the result wasn't as bad as I expected.

The sentences the accomplices received were a bit different, since, depending on involvement, ranged from sealing the Hakusui to demotion to even just scrubbing division floors for a year. I hoped I didn't lose my shinigami powers, since Raibaju had become just as important to me as Sachi or Airi. Losing him would be like losing a part of myself.

Someone barged in my room, making me throw the books across my bed in my surprise. I glared at my intruder, who had no shame and looked innocent. "Shihoin, there's this thing called knocking."

"I know, but you've been locked in this room for long enough. It's time to spar."

"We just finished our division spars. It's five o'clock and I'm tired. I preferred when you were colder to me."

Shihoin Seishiro mostly kept to himself and his coldness matched the one I had when I first came to Soul Society. This left most of the female population a bit put out because he was an extremely handsome man with an even bigger name at the end, even if his mother hadn't been nobility and he didn't belong to the main family. Unfortunately for me, ever since I had challenged him in my interview, he had taken a weird liking to me, resulting in making my life miserable. Now every time I saw him act childish left my mind in dissonance when I compared him to his usual self.

"Oh, you don't mean that," he said with a wave of his hand, his blue eyes unperturbed. "Kuchiki-taichou asked me to spar with you."

The air sizzled. He did that whenever he wanted to make sure I didn't deny him anything. See, it put me in a very uncomfortable position. If I went to ask Captain Kuchiki if this was true, he would either answer my question with another question, asking him why I doubted my superior's orders. On the other hand, if this was false, he would ask my if I possessed a semblance of common sense, wondering why I would believe such a thing. Either way, asking my captain would make me look like a fool.

"One of these days I'll ask him if it's true."

"Now why would I lie?"

"It's my free time. Leave me alone."

"And I told you that Kuchiki-taichou asked me to spar with you. Do you want me to personally get him for you?"

I was halfway down to the training rooms by the time he finished that sentence.

"Not that one. He asked that we train our shikai."

I held in a groan of misery. Both Renji and the captain pushed shikai down our throats until we drowned with that command. I understood, though; seated officers were held in high regard by our peers and if we were weak we would be poor examples. The problem was that I couldn't call my true shikai like most others and the weak version was, well, pretty useless. It had grown to become quite a nuisance to many shinigami, as I could finish them off in their paralyzed state, but stronger shinigami like Shihoin and Mihane and Renji just shrugged the static off as if it were dust. It was extremely disconcerting.

Luckily, I was still one of the best at shunpo, which made our journey to the training fields much shorter. The quicker I finished this stupid spar, the quicker I would be able to go back to my studies.

The Sixth Division fields were shared with the Fifth Division and thus were usually full. Today, though, it was desolate, which was weird considering that their ranked members matched our zealotry to become better. Maybe Aizen was giving a speech? That's the only reason how I can see them foregoing their training to please their captain.

"Ready?" I asked my opponent. He was back in his usual persona, staring coldly at me and only offering a nod. Without further ado, I began my assault.

One of the perks of training my reiryoku and reiatsu to such extreme levels was the advancements I made with my Kido. Performing spells was now _easy_, so easy I couldn't fathom why I had so much trouble in the Academy years. Having a Kido-type as a zanpakuto already gave me more control over my power, but I should thank Captain Kuchiki one of these days, when I'm not deathly afraid of him.

I put my hand on the ground and muttered, "_Hadō #11: Tsuzuri Raiden."_ Just as I expected, Shihoin jumped from the ground and was going to gather reishi in his feet so that he could stand midair. I leapt after him, not willing to let him go so easily. "_Bakudo #4: Hainawa."_ Yet again, though the ropes did bind him just as I expected them to, Shihoin easily got out of them, but by then I already had him.

He easily parried my blow and slashed his own, which I managed to evade with my using shunpo to appear behind him, which he blocked as well. "_Hadō #32. Ōkasen!" _Luckily for me, I knew what he was going to say the moment he started saying thirty-two, which gave me enough time to get away from the range of attack.

"You've gotten faster, Costa. I thought you'd reached your limit."

I put my sword by my side. _Raibaju, do you have this?_

**_I shall prepare Haien for_**_ **you.**_

Raibaju was also extremely useful. It was like suddenly getting the ability to multitask. This wasn't something shinigami could do, as he had told me. Raibaju was just extremely intimate with my soul, even knew it better than I myself did; after all, I had over two thousand years of knowledge about myself in some locked portion of my mind only Raibaju could access. That understanding allowed us to share more than just our minds, and he could use my reiryoku and reiatsu if he wanted to, though he never did it unless I asked him to. Unfortunately, I couldn't draw from _his _reiryoku and reiatsu, not only because I didn't know him well enough, but because my body was still too young and weak to handle two sets of reiryoku.

"C'mon, you know I may be slower than most but I'm not close to my limits." _**Ready.**_"_Hadō #54. Haien_!"

Seishirou's eyes widened and his blonde locks and red scarf barely managed to escape the incinerating fire. His shocked look quickly morphed into one of amusement and he pointed his sword at me. "Well, time to get this to another level. _Kakomu, __Suika_." His zanpakuto liquified and joined his right arm and water from the moisture in the air gathered around left arm until both limbs were encased in water.

Though they looked extremely heavy and bulky, I knew from firsthand experience that his speed hadn't decreased one bit. He made a punching motion and a torrent of water shot out of the attack, heading at me with startling speed. I shunpoed out of the way, but the torrent hit my right arm and dislocated my shoulder, causing me to grunt in pain.

Now I was in big trouble. I was not ambidextrous and my right hand was the only one I could wield Raibaju with. Seishirou and I were evenly matched, but his shikai put almost miles of difference between our power and other stats. Without waiting to let me catch my breath, he fired more water pumps at me. I really pissed him off with my sneaky attack, and now I was suffering the consequences.

I had lasted much longer than I usually did, because the field was now slightly inundated. I could literally feel the bruises forming in my body from the _grazes _of his onslaught. The more water in the field, the slower I was, and I didn't want to risk it an opening just so that I could take this fight to the air. Though it would be more advantageous if we fought midair, the danger I would put myself in by jumping was enough to dissuade me from doing it.

Wait, the field was inundated with water.

I stabbed my zanpakuto to the ground with my right hand, and though it hurt like a bitch, I couldn't waste much time wallowing in pain. I pointed the index and middle fingers in my left hand at my target and mumbled, "_Bakudō # 9. Hōrin._" The suddenness of my actions were enough to throw Seishirou off for a couple of seconds, but that was all I needed. "_Kageru, Raibaju!"_

My zanpakutou only paralyzed foes weaker than me, but water was such an excellent conductor of electricity that my weak release was enough to match the power of _Raikoho_. Seishirou was thoroughly electrocuted, though I knew that he was fine because he was a Third Seat. He was leaning on his knees, panting, when I got to him, and I playfully pointed my zanpakutou at him. "Yield?"

He nodded, still not looking up and panting.

My arm extended from its own accord. "Let's go get checked. You dislocated my shoulder."

The blond took my head and grunted when I helped him on his feet. With a smug grin, he said, "Good."

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, July 20th, 2008<em>

I woke up at the crack of dawn, like I usually did on Sunday mornings. I took my bath and relished my favorite part of it: my darker hair. All the training under the sun had lightened my hair from golden brown to light golden brown and tanned my olive skin tone further. Though I had received compliments from my friends for the change, I still held a certain fondness for my looks as Beatrice. I had to let go, though, because I was now Artemis, but still… it was hard to let go sometimes.

Like always, I was slightly early in getting ready, but something felt wrong. There was a menacing presence in the room the captain and I usually trained in and it was to my growing horror that I realized it was _his _reiatsu.

Honestly, I contemplated in between opening the door and hightailing out of there. The latter was extremely cowardly of me, but at least I was guaranteed to live a little longer. Never in my life had I felt Captain Kuchiki so angry and murderous. The average shinigami wouldn't be able to notice this from his usual reiatsu, but I had grown to know his little shifts for my own survival as well as Renji's.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and bowed as I always did. "Good morning, Kuchiki-taichou."

He glanced at me and I resisted the urge to shiver.

"You are friends with my sister, are you not?"

Oh _shit_. "Indeed, I am. Why?"

He imperceptibly shook his head. "No reason. Now, let us begin; I have much to do today."

The rest of the lesson went by like it always did, except I had higher chances of dying right now than ever before. His reiatsu calmed down to its usual levels, but I knew that a little mistake would not be easily forgiven.

The last spark pierced through the weakened cherry blossom from Senbonzakura, making it disappear in pink light. Today's lesson followed from last week's, in which I created lightning sparks from reishi and used them to spear through Senbonzakura's handicapped cherry blossoms. Even with a disable Senbonzakura, attacking it and making it disappear was hard, and it was harder today because now they floated and even could evade my attacks.

Once the lesson was done, the Captain left without a word, which was normal, but today it felt even more dismissing than before. I shook my head and sheathed by zanpakutou, getting ready to leave. Maybe I was thinking too much about this and he just woke up in the wrong side of bed. He is capable of emotion every once in a while, after all.

The mess hall was suspiciously silent, but not because people were being quiet. No, all the murmuring and whispering going on made my head spin. Maybe the grunts were gossiping and wondering the reason behind our captain's poor mood. Even though we were usually very serious and even uptight, gossip wasn't below most of us.

I took my seat close to Yuuma and Yuuki and began eating. After minutes of silence, the curiosity drove me nuts and I caved. "Do you two know what all of this whispering is about?"

"Ah, you were training today with the captain, weren't you, Senpai?"

"So you haven't heard at all?"

I nodded, answering both of their questions. "What happened?"

"Kuchiki-taichou and Abarai-fukutaichou brought today a prisoner: Kuchiki Rukia. Apparently she broke the law and is waiting her punishment from Central 46 at the division cells."

"But you already knew this," Yuuma finished.

I should've seen it coming. Rukia's absence would've been noted soon enough, especially by her older brother. "Uh, no, this is pretty new to me. I didn't know about Rukia."

"No, you already knew of her crime."

"What?"

The twins smiled knowingly and nodded. "It is alright, Senpai. We swear on the red moon that birthed us that we won't tell anyone."

Knowing that I had lost, there was no need to deny it further. I was just glad that we usually sat away from most people. "How did you know?"

"The moon and the stars can see what is hidden in the night. Our power is the same."

Yuuki continued, "We honestly don't want to listen, Costa-senpai, but just like we can't close our ears to the world, we can't stop the moon from showing us."

I frowned. "By all means, you should tell on me, Yuuki-san. You two cannot just hide this from us."

"We're not doing this for you, senpai," Yuuka admitted with an edge to his voice. "There are secrets darker than what the light can show us, and we're smart enough to not make any decisions until we know everything."

"What do you mean?"

"There's someone playing in the shadows with secrets even us cannot see or hear," Yuuki said with a small degree of fear, which was enough to send shivers running down my spine.

"Why didn't you tell me before? Or anyone, for that matter?" I inwardly winced at how harsh my voice sounded. I already knew the answer; the twins were the outcasts and they were content with that. Why should they bother themselves with what happened outside their sphere of comfort.

"The moon and stars don't like it when we divulge their secrets before their time. We can observe, but not act. You, however, can act."

"And though your role is small," Yuuki continued, "little actions everyone does can change the course of history."

We continued eating our breakfast in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. They were doomed to watch but not do anything about it. Just what had the twins seen (or heard, I was still confused on what they meant) that had forced them to tell me? They made it sound as if Seireitei was hiding something from everyone and Rukia had something to do with it.

Speaking of Rukia, I needed to visit her. Though it was a risky move considering my knowledge, it was well-known that I shared a friendship with my previous sensei. Even the captain was aware of it, so my visit wouldn't raise any eyebrows.

I made my way to the division cells and my expression was enough so that nobody asked any questions. A guard was standing vigil outside her cell. "Would you kindly let me have a word with her?" She hesitated, rightly so, but I tightly smiled and said, "Don't worry, I won't do anything."

The shinigami nodded and inserted the key to her cell, letting me enter and at the same time allowing me to have a private time with her.

Rukia was sitting with her back to me and the bars, staring at the wall. Not even my entrance had caused her to change. She must be used to distractions, that with her cell being close to the Hell Butterflies and all.

"I'm sorry I couldn't buy you time," I murmured, my trademark voice going even softer than before.

Rukia stood up and turned her chair so that she was facing me. "I never asked that of you. I only asked for your silence. But that was too much, wasn't it?"

"No, no, I chose to keep your secret and I'll face the consequences. That was _my _decision. Speaking of which, I researched your dilemma extensively and I've drawn a prediction for your sentence."

"I would like to hear it. I don't want to be surprised."

"You'll lose your shinigami powers, and if Central 46 is feeling particularly spiteful, you'll be dishonorably discharged."

She blinked and I saw the beginnings of a smile. "That's much better than what I've been thinking. I thought I would lose my family as well."

I frowned. I didn't like her line of reasoning that much. "I'm sure Kuchiki-taichou isn't that extreme. You may be adopted, but you're still a Kuchiki."

"You don't understand," she murmured, a rare hint of sadness seeping into her voice. "We don't have the best relationship in the world. I'm a failure, you see."

"That's a lie and you know it. I don't know why you're not a ranked shinigami, but you're certainly more talented than I am."

"You sell yourself short, Art. Nii-sama wouldn't waste his time in a lost cause. I thank you for your kind words, though. I needed them."

"Has Renji not visited you?"

She shook her head. "Ever since he retrieved me, he hasn't spoken a word to me."

That is quite weird. According to Hinamori, Renji and Rukia didn't have the same relationship they did before Rukia's adoption to the clan, but they still talked and maintained an easygoing friendship. That relationship improved after Renji became lieutenant, roughly ten years ago, to the point that they would hit and insult each other.

Something was wrong, and I would find out once I found Renji.

* * *

><p><em>Monday, July 21st, 2008<em>

The division had calmed down a bit, but most of the shinigami were jittery. Kuchiki-taichou was in a horrible mood, and it didn't help that Renji had taken a mission in Rukongai yesterday. Seishirou was in charge of keeping the division sane, but I knew that even he was starting to crack under the pressure of so many people looking at him for guidance.

I made my way down to Rukia's cell after breakfast just as I had done the day before. The guard was different, and he sported a tattoo above his left eyebrow reminiscent to Renji's. Ah, this must be Rikichi, Renji's number one fan. He was in charge of feeding and taking care of the Hell Butterflies, but he didn't seem to be doing extremely well.

"Do you need help, Rikichi-san?"

"Gah! Costa-senpai!"

"You seem to need help."

"Oh, no, no, I uh… Maybe. You're here to go see Kuchiki-san, right?"

My smile became amused. "I'll help you. Rukia won't go anywhere, quite literally."

He smiled brightly and started explaining what to do, in which I replied that I had been an unseated officer once and knew exactly what to do. He was starting to have trouble again when Renji came from nowhere and kicked him in the head. Much to my chagrin, he was in his night clothing, which was understandable since he had today off.

"Renji, stop it."

"Ah, here to visit Rukia too?"

"Someone needs to do it," I rebuked a bit frostily.

He glared at me but said nothing, instead going to the room adjacent to this one, the one that housed our prisoner. Rikichi looked at me expectantly and I nodded, allowing him to follow me and hear our conversation.

"It's been a while," Rukia said a bit airily.

"If by a while you mean two days, then yeah."

"No need to be so cold. You know I had to do it."

"Gotten pretty used to the role of a fukutaichou, haven't you?"

"It's been ten years."

I sighed and shook my head. This wasn't working and they were dancing around the issue. "Say, Renji, have you told Rukia about the time you got hit in the face by a kickball?"

He groaned and sent me a heated glare. "I thought we were never gonna mention that."

Rukia stared at Renji curiously. "Weren't you a pro at kickball?"

"Turns out he isn't. Right, Rikichi?"

"Renji-san is the best kickball player in Soul Society."

Though that wasn't true, at least the mood had lightened considerably. I knew it was hard for Renji to put Rukia behind bars, and it would be harder for him to part with Rukia once she lost her shinigami powers. Right now they barely saw each other and they shared a profession, but after this is over Rukia would be locked in the Kuchiki Manor doing whatever nobles did.

Honestly, that doesn't sound like such a great life anymore.

"You'll be out of here in no time. It won't be the same, but at least you'll be out of here. You'll see, we will be there for you."

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008<em>

Getting books on the subject was generally hard, but I had hit a home run with this _Peoples and Folklore of Soul Society _by an unknown author. It detailed the people that shaped Soul Society and Seireitei and it included a whole chapter on the Transcendentals. Finding information on my heritage was generally hard for no particular reason. It was as if the books had disappeared, but who would want to hide books? Unless they included information the very curious shouldn't see. But then again, few people were aware of Transcendentals to begin with.

_The origin of the Transcendentals is very vague. Some say that the first Transcendental was the youngest son of the Soul King, who, in a moment of adolescent rebelliousness, relinquished his past and became a human, though he could not rid himself of his immortality. His body, however, aged like a normal human's, and once he died he found himself in Soul Society as a common peasant. Throughout his lifetimes he shared with a select few people his immortality until the Transcendentals came to be. However, all this information should be taken with a grain of salt since people as old as the Transcendentals have glorified their own pasts to make their ancestry mythical and godly._

_However, the fact remains that they are immortal in soul and mind but not body. Their origins are dated from around 4000-2000 BC, though dates are hard to come by since writing had not yet been invented. However, the writings of anonymous Transcendentals date the beginnings of their memories around this time, so their information has to be given some thought. This, however, makes the Transcendentals older than the Gotei 13 itself, something not many can boast about, not even the Quincies._

_The Transcendentals are a peculiar bunch. The Original Transcendental was intelligent enough to foresee the consequences a forty-year-old mind can have on a three-year-old child. This is why memories are locked inside their souls and it is until they reach a certain age that they can consciously access the information their past lives possessed. Transcendentals often go about their lives without even remembering the names they used to have, but more since knowing everything isn't strictly a necessity. They only draw on the wisdom of the past, but it is this wisdom that has made them powerful._

_In the Living World, most Transcendentals are important figures. They are prominent in politics, military, academia, society, the arts, and so forth, as they are able to manipulate. It is extremely rare that a Transcendental encounters another of his or her kind, since their numbers are at the thousands. Should they meet, it is said their souls resonate, citing their origin story as an explanation and saying they share souls, in a roundabout way. Most share wisdom and even past lives, but one shouldn't be surprised to find out that they kill each other._

_Though it sounds as a form of familicide, there is an interesting reason why an awakened Transcendental would kill another Transcendental. Since the souls are the most compatible, the murderer steals the memories of his victim, gaining whatever knowledge she might have gathered in her lifetime. This makes Transcendentals truly lonely people. There––_

"Artemis! They sentenced her to death!"

I threw my books across the room in a manner reminiscent of Thursday, but this time only partly because of surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Never in my life had Renji seemed so crazed or heartbroken. "Central 46 sentenced Rukia to die in 25 days."

"That's impossible," I firmly said. "There must be an error in their decision."

"Verdicts can't be overturned."

My eyes narrowed, but not at him. "I know they can't, but all the punishments that have been carried out against shinigami like Rukia is usually losing her powers. There must be a mistake. Execution is reserved for–"

"Class 1 criminals, which is what they branded Rukia as."

I frowned deeply. "How are they executing her?"

"Sokyoku," he replied with the most defeated tone I have ever heard.

What Rukia did has never classified anyone as a Class 1 criminal. Only traitors, mass murderers, and war criminals were classified as such. Why did nobody find this _extremely _peculiar, that an unranked shinigami would be lumped with people that possessed power to make history shiver? Someone was tampering with the law, trying to use it for his or her own wicked means, and we were just standing here, delivering the means of success in a silver plate!

"There's something wrong about that, Renji," I muttered, and he nodded belatedly. "The law isn't being upheld."

"Huh?"

"Rukia isn't a Class 1; she doesn't fill the requirements. You can check in the vast books of our library to confirm this, but I don't think anyone would bother. But the worst part is that an innocent's soul will die because there's _someone_ playing us like fools."

"And what can we do about that? Nothing, really. Even taichou said that he would only be seeing Rukia at the execution site."

I winced; that must've hurt her deeply. Her life, my friend's soul, was about to be terminated. But no, that wasn't the main reason behind my anger. Someone thought that he was smart enough to surpass everyone, and the best way to do it was by usurping justice and the law.

Was this perhaps the darkness the twins had warned me of? They did warn me of this yesterday, of something going on in the shadows that even they weren't privy to. This was something big I was involving myself in, though. Was Rukia really worth me risking my life against something unknown as well as the whole Soul Society?

…No, not really.

"What are we gonna do?"

The interesting use of a first-person plural pronoun caught my surprise. Was Renji willing to risk his life? Well, the love Renji had for Rukia was different than whatever love I could have for her. He would definitely risk his life for her, if need be.

Then again, Rukia was not worth tackling Soul Society over. Seireitei wasn't something we could take on when we wished. We would fail, and then we really would be Class 1 criminals because we would be branded as traitors. Nope, my soul was too precious to just give it up on a whim. But then again, if I let Rukia be executed, she would be the first of many. My death could be perceived as a message that I would not let anyone take over our judicial command and control us as they wished. Rukia was first, but our rights and liberties followed, as oppressive governments wont to restrict.

"Eh? Art? Are you here?"

I shook my head; how had my thoughts wondered so much. "I was thinking."

"About what?"

Well, telling him that I was thinking for a legitimate reason to save the possible love of his life wouldn't win me any brownie points with him. Sometimes little white lies were necessary in a world full of complicated relationships. "Of a way to make sure Rukia is saved. Just barging in the execution site and taking her with us will get all of us killed. Even if we managed to escape, we would have around six thousand shinigami screaming our name with bloody murder. No, this requires subtly and no small degree of connections."

"… What?"

When his nerves were wired, Renji was a tougher person to deal. "We're gonna die if we try something, so it would be a good idea to plan."

He nodded vigorously. "Of course, of course. Just tell me what to do and we got it."

"It was more of a joint effort… But no, don't worry, I got it. Just give me a Senkaimon and I promise Rukia will have a safe haven to flee to."

* * *

><p><em><em>Kakomu, <em>_Suika: Surround, Hydration__

__Fiat iustitia ruat caelum: Let justice be done, heaven may fall (literal) __Though today it means_ Let justice be done, though the heavens may fall_. I'm sure the meaning behind this phrase is not lost.

**Really have to thank Undying Soul98 for convincing me in doing what I had planned on, but didn't want to, do. Because if you wanted to find out what happened in canon you would rewatch/reread the anime/manga.**

**Yup, Musing Atheist will be an AU, but not exactly because Artemis does or doesn't do things, but rather because _everyone _has changed their decisions and feelings about things. Plus, the story you've been reading is already slightly AU-ish for the following reasons:**

**Renji has been lieutenant for 10 years. Meaning that his friendship with Rukia has drastically improved and his relationship with Byakuya is slightly different.  
><strong>**Transcendentals have been introduced.  
>Aizen is a smarter and more powerful douche.<br>The tiny seed of doubt has been planted on Toushiro's mind about Aizen.**

**And more to follow as the story progresses. The POV will still be first-person limited, but I'm sure not many of you will mind. You'll simply find out things as soon as Art does, unless you catch on the hints before she does.**

**Unfortunately, because Rukia's execution is very important for any kind of story (and I consider it inevitable at this point), then I'll have to follow canon for this one, but, just because the ends are the same doesn't mean the means to achieve it are. I'm not gonna bore anyone to tears, I promise.**

**Though I have an idea of what I want to do, I'm open to more ideas of the different paths you want the characters to take. It shouldn't be too complicated, as the story is still told from Art's perspective, but I'm able to do it.**

**Penpal**


	22. Half-truths and Half-lies

**Phew, the first week of school is always the harshest, I believe. Luckily, I don't have to deal with it anymore.**

**As always, thank you animagirl, my three Guests, skipbeataddict, and guisniperman for reviewing. You guys make me blush. Also, thank you to those that added this story to their favorites and alerts!**

* * *

><p><em>Thursday, July 31st, 2008<em>

I have always been someone who keeps her promises. If there is anything I intangible I care about in this world besides my knowledge, it is my reputation as a person. It has always been a great feeling having people trusting me simply because I'm Costa Artemis. Renji has no clue about my experiences in the Living World, about my relationship with Urahara, about my meeting with the Substitute Shinigami, my identity as potential threat to the balance of nature, but he trusted my word not only because I was his friend, but because he knew I don't say things I don't mean.

But now I don't know if I can keep my word and it is eating me alive.

My emotions had taken control over my logical reasoning and I didn't consider how suspicious it would look if I went to the Living World after my friend Rukia was sentenced to death. I know my captain is already watching me closely and my trip to the Living World would surely look bad.

Besides, was Rukia really worth it?

I gave my word to Renji though, and I must keep it.

But words can be forgotten all the time, carried by the wind, never seen again.

"You look stressed."

My head snapped up and I stared at Mihane, my eyes slightly widened from being surprised. "You're back," I stated flatly.

She raised an amused eyebrow. "I expected a much more warmer welcome."

I looked away and felt my cheeks warming. "I have a lot on my mind."

Mihane looked around. The hallways were a bit crowded, certainly not the best place to have the conversation she wanted to have. "Why don't we go to the garden?"

Though it was beautiful, not many people frequented the division garden. It was much too quiet and secluded that unless the person had a serious relationship with silence and solitude, nobody on their right mind would go there.

Our walk there was very quiet and tense, but once we got sat under the cherry blossom tree the words tumbled out of my mouth. "I don't agree with the execution."

"Kuchiki-san's sentence? I do agree it is harsh, but maybe there is evidence we aren't privy to, making her sentence harsher."

I refrained from telling her that I _knew _everything, since that would incriminate me and make me an accomplice. Though I trusted Mihane with all my being, I couldn't bare to share with her knowledge that could give her trouble. "Rukia didn't do anything, I'm sure. Besides, when was the last time we used the Sokyoku to kill anyone?"

Mihane frowned. "I don't think Kuchiki-taichou was even born."

"Exactly. I know there might be something that I'm not aware of, but Rukia doesn't deserve such harsh sentence."

"Is this what is bothering you so much?"

I turned to look at her, slightly surprised. "One of my friends is about to be executed. Not only that, but unjustly. I think I deserve to be a _bit _frazzled."_  
><em>

Mihane shook her head and raised her hands in a placating manner. "No, no, you're totally right to be worried and scared and even resentful. But there is something else you're not telling me."

Damn her and her observational skills. "It is nothing."

She raised both of her eyebrows and folded her arms, looking completely unconvinced. "Please, Artemis, I have known you for almost a decade, been good friends almost as long. There is something obviously bothering you, and it's big enough to let it get to your psyche. Tell me."

I could make up an excuse, a problem that has been bothering me, but I don't think I would feel good about it afterwards. Besides, keeping up with lies is much more tedious than people would expect. I have a grudging admiration for good liars, for being able to keep a farce for so long when telling the truth is sometimes so much less complicated.

"There is something I found out a long time ago."

"Okay, I am listening."

"Remember when you tried to tell me what you thought I was but we got interrupted so much you just gave up?"

"Please don't tell me you are really a Transcendental."

"I am."

She put her head on her hands and groaned miserably. "Before it was just a hunch, a hypothesis, that was proven wrong when you lost your memories of your past life. You don't know how relieved I was when I asked you and you became confused."

Wait, that was new. "You found out I lost my memories?"

She huffed and looked at me incredulously. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? I just didn't bring it up so I wouldn't confuse you more. But going back to the topic, how do you know you're a Transcendental?"

"Not only do I remember my past life, but I remember lives before that and before that. Sometimes I dream I'm raising two black-haired boys, other times that I'm riding a horse to war, or that I'm climbing a mountain I've never seen, and when I wake up I know that those dreams are memories. I know that before being born as Artemis, I was an old man living in the Fifty-Eighth District, and I was trying to find a way to cure my wife's fever before it got to me and I died first. I still don't remember my name though."

Mihane suddenly breathed in and let out a shaky breath. She kept shaking her head as if she didn't believe it herself. "You were supposed to be dead, forever."

"Not dead. Simply asleep."

"You know, if someone found out–"

"That's why I've only told you." Well, from Soul Society, at least. One revelation at a time, Artemis. "I don't exactly know what's going to happen to me."

"Well, unlike Kuchiki-san's case, as long as you don't confess these things nobody will notice. That's what made it so hard to exterminate Transcendentals in the fist place and _obviously _it wasn't successful. Keep it secret, and you will be safe."

"You won't turn me in?"

Mihane genuinely looked offended. "Artemis, you're one of my closest friends. You haven't harmed anyone, and I'm sure you never will, so why should I do something like that? Besides, Transcendentals are only harmful in large numbers."

"Why are we a threat again?"

"There is a reason souls are cleansed of memories before reincarnating. The point is to give a new body a clean slate. If the slate already has things in it but the body doesn't, then that can be harmful for the soul. Not only that, but Seireitei always lived with the fear that Transcendentals would tell living beings about the afterlife." She frowned and her eyes widened slightly. "In fact, the simplest and most primitive forms of religion came from Transcendentals telling people about Soul Society, so they weren't so far off."

Huh, interesting. "Well, you can be assured I won't tell anyone about who I am."

"Then there's no reason for me to say anything. Honestly, Art, you should worry less about these things. If you haven't done anything wrong, of course I'll help you with anything. That's what friends are for."

Does that mean I have to do the same for Rukia?

* * *

><p><em>Friday, August 1st, 2008<em>

The dango shop was a bit more crowded than usual, but neither of us minded. Airi was talking animatedly about her date with Kannogi Takahiro, my long-forgotten rival, meanwhile Sachi paid attention for both of us. It was not that she didn't interest me, or that I didn't love Airi, but I needed to plan Rukia's escape further before I started doing anything. Sachi and Airi both knew that Rukia's sentence was bothering me greatly so they didn't bother me too much and instead just appreciated my company.

Though I had become a much better tactician, being able to improvise in the middle of battle, I was still a better strategist. The less I relied on changing my plan, the more success I would have. So far, the plan I had created in the past week was now very robust since I renewed my vigor to save Rukia.

I didn't know which Senkaimon to take. Definitely not the main one since guards watched it at every hour. The Twelfth Division Senkaimon is the best one because it isn't tracked, but only Twelfth Division Officers could get it to work and breaking in to the Twelfth Division plus getting the codes would be too much of a hassle. Then there was Urahara's own Senkaimon that I seldom used since it was in Rukon. However, maybe that one appeared to be the best choice. Hanari could certainly give me the alibi if I slept over her home.

The biggest part of the plan had already been arranged. Urahara would create another special gigai for Rukia with different appearance and I would entrust her safety with Al. I would ask him to move back to the United States and have him help her get on her feet. Urahara had already confirmed that he could get a guy to forge papers for Rukia and she would live a relatively normal life in the end.

The main issue was that her execution was recently decreased from 25 days to 20 to 16 and then to 14 so the execution day was now August 6th. That only left me with five days. Not only that, but Rukia was scheduled to be moved from the Sixth Division prison cell to to Senzaikyu, which was supposed to be impenetrable. Taking her out of her prison cell would be the hardest part, but still not impossible, because the Sekkiseki walls seal reiryoku and I have grown to not rely on it.

"Hey, Art, what do you know about the infiltrators?"

I dropped my dango stick and looked at Airi dumbly. "Huh?"

"Where have you been these last few hours?"

"Training."

Sachi snorted and shook her head. "Why am I not surprised. Anyway, Airi asked about the infiltrators. A group of Rukon citizens defeated Jidanbo and tried to get in. Luckily Ichimaru-taichou was nearby so he fought against the strongest one but it was a draw."

"That's not what I heard," Airi interjected, a bit confused. "I thought it was a group of banished shinigami who wanted to get in and ask for forgiveness."

"I thought only one was wearing a shihakusho?"

"Not all renegade shinigami keep their shihakusho, Sachi."

"Do you know what this shinigami looks like?" I asked, my stomach dropping with worry.

"He has his zanpakutou strapped to his back," Airi pitched in.

"And it looks like a knife."

"I think he also has orange hair, which is weird."

I choked on my dango and barely registered Airi patting me on the back and Sachi offering me water. There was no mistaking about it, it was Ichigo. I had never seen his zanpakutou, but the coincidence was too glaring. He was the only one with a good reason to invade Seireitei. Did he bring his friends, or had he made some new ones in here?

"Are you okay?" Sachi asked, looking at me with concerned eyes.

"Yeah, I just underestimated how spicy this dango was."

Sachi was unconvinced and she opened her mouth but a Hell Butterfly fluttered in front of her and interrupted whatever she was about to say. The butterfly perched itself on her index finger and she frowned. "Ise-fukutaichou requires my assistance with some papers. I'm afraid I must go."

"Aw! At least I got to tell you about Takahiro-kun!"

"There will be more times when you can tell me about your romance with Kannogi-san, Airi. Hope you don't choke again, Art. I'll see you both later."

The seat across from my side was suddenly empty, leaving Airi and I sitting next to each other in comfortable silence. I was still unsure if I felt happy or angry that Ichigo was here. On one hand, Renji and I were no longer alone in saving Rukia, but Seireitei will surely tighten security both inside and outside to prevent the intruders from getting in. It doesn't help that shinigami speak of Ichigo reverently, a worthy match for a captain, because that both his threat level and attention to his mission increase because of it.

"Art, you're good friends with Hitsugaya-taichou, right?"

My relationship with the captain was a bit hard to explain. Inside Seireitei we just acknowledged each other if we happened to pass by, but in baachan's home we were equals and had a familial relationship, even. Airi must know this and simplified her inquiry. "Yes, why?"

She bit her lip and looked around. The dango restaurant had become even more crowded and louder, almost guaranteeing that nobody would listen to our conversation. "Promise you won't say anything?"

Oh, Airi, if you knew the secrets I'm hiding. "Of course, you can trust me."

"I always give Aizen-taichou a batch of onigiri because my mom makes one of the best in Rukongai. One day Aizen-taichou was out, maybe a meeting or something, and I asked Hinamori-fukutaichou if Aizen-taichou would mind if I left it in his office. She said it would make him really happy to see such delicious food waiting for him so I went in his office and put the tray in his desk. It's usually empty, but there was a written letter addressed to Hinamori-fukutaichou."

"Don't tell me you read it."

Airi, surprisingly, didn't look abashed and her eyes obtained a steely hint I have never seen before in my life. "Haven't you ever wondered why Kuchiki-san's sentence keeps moving forward, or why she was sentenced to die with the Sokyoku?" I felt my jaw slacken a bit. "Aizen-taichou found out that only when someone is about to be executed, the seal of Terminal Duo is lifted. It's during this time that the Sokyoku gains the offensive and defensive power of a million zanpakutou, and when it makes contact with the prisoner, this power becomes ten times the strength. Someone wants to use that power to destroy Soul Society, and that someone is–"

"No, it can't be," I replied firmly. "Hitsugaya-taichou would never do something like that."

"That's what I thought too, but there's something else about the letter. In the beginning, it says that Aizen-taichou will probably be dead by the time Hinamori-fukutaichou reads that letter. If he dies, then…"

"No, even if Aizen-taichou died, it can't be Hitsugaya-taichou. See, he has no logical reason to destroy Soul Society. He has people he loves here."

"How are you so sure, Art? Are you calling my captain a liar?"

I stiffened. Airi held Aizen-taichou very dear in her heart and insulting him was the same as insulting her. "I'm not saying that, but I wouldn't just blame Hitsugaya-taichou without evidence. This is a conspiracy, Airi. Unless it happens we won't know. Maybe Aizen-taichou is wrong, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Airi scowled, and I felt my heart skip a beat because I had never seen such an expression on her. "I have never lied to you in my life, Artemis. I only told you this because I worried about you and knew you would weigh this information carefully. For someone who speaks so highly about rationality, you sure ignore it when its convenient for you. Now, if you would excuse me, I have to go."

I saw my best friend walk away from me and I couldn't bring myself to call after her. I didn't know what to think, what to believe… Hell, I wasn't even sure if I _knew _anymore. Just what was true and what was a lie? Urahara and Yoruichi warned me to not trust that man, but they had never really explained to me why I shouldn't. What Aizen said sounded eerily logical, because hunger for power was usually the reason behind many things, but Toushiro being the culprit? I wasn't entirely sure about that.

Saving Rukia had just become much more complicated.

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, August 3rd, 2008<em>

I wasn't entirely sure where to go or what to do. One minute I was meditating with Raibaju and the next the alarms were ringing everywhere, notifying us that we had intruders. There were five unidentified Ryoka that were supposed to be killed on sight, and everyone was looking for them, be it to protect Seireitei or gain glory and prestige; after all, one of the Ryoka was an even match for Ichimaru-taichou.

My decision had been hard but I couldn't bring myself to kill any of the Ryoka. Rukia cared deeply about Ichigo, if her fond speeches about him were anything to go by, and I didn't want to harm his friends either. However, they were disrupting the order of Seireitei, something many shinigami fought and died for, and that was a grievous transgression I could let pass.

"Let the grunts take care of it."

I jumped and berated myself. Wow, this was the third time in four days that someone scared the soul out of me. My senses became really dull when I was in deep thinking.

**_The mark of a truly intelligent__ person_. **

_Whatever you say, Raibaju_.

"What do you mean?"

"The lower shinigami will find the Ryoka," Renji continued in a detached manner. "This will let us know how truly strong they are."

"It's Ichigo and his friends. Shouldn't we help them?"

Renji glared at me and silenced my mouth with his hand. "Are you stupid? Don't say those things out loud! Someone can hear you?"

I scowled at him and removed his hand. "I don't think anyone can hear me over their inflated egos and dreams of grandeur. However, my point remains. We must find a way to lead them to Rukia. Meanwhile they distract the big players, I can sneak her out."

"You wouldn't be able to come back to Soul Society, though." There was a certain softness in his voice that took me by surprise.

"I'm much too involved in this to just let it pass, Renji. Besides, maybe the path of a shinigami is not for me. I can adapt to the Living World much better than any others here."

"You're willing to give up everything for Rukia?"

Not only for her, but for Al as well. I made a promise to him and I was going to keep it no matter what.

"She's my friend. Besides, we're just planning for the worst. It's possible that even Ichigo and his friends take care of the problem for us and we are just the ones that pulled the strings to make it happen."

"I hope that happens. Rukia wouldn't like to know you sacrificed yourself for her."

"You would do it if you could in a heartbeat, so don't put all of these on me." I was smugly satisfied to see his cheeks turn as red as his hair. "So, what should we do in the meantime? Kuchiki-taichou canceled my lessons again and I'm itching for a fight."

"Lets do this, then."

* * *

><p><em>Monday, August 4th, 2009<em>

"Change of plans," I suddenly told Renji. Since yesterday we had been inseparable, never more than an earshot away, just in case something happened and we needed instantaneous communication. We were pretty close before Rukia's sentence anyway so nobody thought anything from it, but I felt much closer to Renji now than I did before.

"What do you mean?" he asked from his spot in his personal desk. Though at first I would've been a bit apprehensive for being in his personal quarters, my friend never made me feel uncomfortable.

I saw the Hell Butterfly fly away through the window in Renji's room. "A friend of mine just told me that one of our mutual friends, Yamada Hanataro, has been taken hostage by the Ryoka identified as Shiba Ganju and Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Yamada was in charge of janitorial duty, right?"

"He grew to take a liking to Rukia as well. It's possible that he might help Shiba and Kurosaki and take them to Senzaikyu."

"And just how does this change our plans?"

"Yamada-san will probably take them through the sewers, because that's his specialty, but once they get out they will be open for fights."

I felt a threatening and ominous spiritual force pressure our room. It wasn't only heavy, but there was an undertone of unrestrained glee and excitement. "What the hell is that?"

"That's the spiritual presence of my old taichou," Renji replied a bit nervously. "I think he found someone that interests him."

"Kurosaki," I murmured in realization. "That leaves Shiba Ganju and Yamada Hanatarou open to any threats. Kurosaki Ichigo will probably die against Zaraki-taichou." Though it saddened me even more to say it, I knew sacrifices had to be made to achieve our goal. I just had fervently wished it hadn't been Ichigo. Poor Rukia will live with guilt for the rest of her life.

"I'm gonna go help those two."

I shook my head. "No, you're stronger than me and can handle more things than I can. I'll protect them on their way there."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, leave it to me. I'll try to track them down, but it will probably take me a day."

I got up from his couch and stretched, popping a few joints on the way. Renji stood up as well and looked at me with an indescribable look. "Don't die on your way there."

"C'mon, I have no desire to die before completing the mission."

"Even _after _the mission. It should be me doing the hero's work, not you."

"You're the fukutaichou, I am a Tenth Seat. I have less of a reputation to maintain, Renji. You have a whole division that looks up to you."

"For Rukia, I would give it up."

I frowned. So, just as I suspected, he was truly in love with Rukia. He was probably guilty and ashamed that I was doing what he wished he could do, but his sense of responsibility impeded him from doing so. "You could run away with us, you know. If you wanted to, there's nothing stopping you."

"You think Rukia wouldn't look down on me if I did?"

I snorted. "I don't know any girls who wouldn't admire their savior, or at least someone who risked everything to save them. I'm sure Rukia would appreciate you a lot. In fact, your company might be very useful and wanted for her."

"We only planned for you two to leave, though."

I shrugged. "What's one more person? Once you know I have Rukia, go to the First District of Western Rukongai, alright? We will meet up there."

Renji stood up from his seat and wrapped his arms around my waist. I stiffened at his sudden show of affection, taken completely by surprise. We had known each other for almost a decade but physical touches were seldom given, except if they were violent. "You're a good person, Art. Thank you. Most people would say that the nobility and the common aren't meant to mix."

My snort left my nose before I could even try and I returned the hug. "As if I cared who the nobility is. Thank me once we're out of this mess, alright?"

He let me go but ruffled my hair with that infuriating grin of his. It was interesting to see how my reasons for doing things had devolved over the days. First I didn't want to risk jack squat for Rukia, then I was doing it to make a point, then because I realized how important friendship is, and now because I just wanted my friends to be happy.

Ugh, I hate sappiness.

**_Don't. This just reminds me that you are the right soul, Artemis. Not even time and lives can change who you are. _**

_I feel sappy enough. No need to add more, Raibaju._

**_I shall lend you all my strength for your goals. _**

_That's all I need._

Just as I was about to leave the room, I smiled at Renji. "Later."

He grinned and waved. "Till next time."

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday, August 5th, 2008<em>

My prediction had been right. There was a reason why the Ryoka had been so elusive, and it wasn't only because they were sneaky: they were damned lucky as well. How can a group of people be so lucky as to avoid the Gotei 13 for almost two whole days? The other reason was that we were incompetent, but to be honest only the lower ranks were looking for the Ryoka. The captains, lieutenants, and seated officers were mostly continuing with their normal lives, but not actively looking for the Ryoka.

Except Zaraki Kenpachi. Yesterday he had been actively seeking Ryoka, but I had heard that his fight against Ichigo had ended in a draw, which was extremely impressive considering that Ichigo just learned how to be a shinigami a few months ago and there are shinigami here older than Japan itself. I haven't heard if he had woken up yet.

Nobody was asking me why I was wandering around Seireitei, assuming that I was looking for the Ryoka, which was completely correct, just for the wrong reasons. It was weird walking around these roads under the moonlight, but I couldn't afford to rest; Ganju and Hanatarou were probably sleeping but I needed to catch up with them.

**_I suggest that you rest. You won't be able to protect them if you are a second away from sleep. _**

_The execution is tomorrow. I can't afford to rest knowing that Rukia will die in a little bit more than twenty-four hours. Every second counts._

**_Yamada and Shiba will get to their destination regardless of whether you help them or not. _**

_Should I meet them at the Senzaikyu then? That would leave them open to danger._

**_They have survived this far without our help._**

I looked up at the sky and noticed that dawn was fast approaching. Perhaps I could take a short nap in the closest division barracks, which happened to be the Fifth Division's. I entered without much difficulty, since I frequented this place to visit Airi, and made my way there when something felt wrong. There was something off about this place, something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Something fell on my shoulder and slithered down my arm. In the low amount of light I couldn't see very well, but the liquid looked dark. More drips, this time on my face as I moved closer to the wall, and, with a deep sense of trepidation, I slowly looked up only to see a streak of red going up. Now I didn't want to continue but my morbid curiosity just made my head inch upwards slowly.

My legs felt weak and I unconsciously took a step back once my mind processed the fact that Aizen Sousuke was pinned to the wall with a sword. He was unmoving, confirming that the captain was truly dead, but who would be strong enough to kill a captain?

_"No, it can't be. Hitsugaya-taichou would never do something like that."_

_"That's what I thought too, but there's something else about the letter. In the beginning, it says that Aizen-taichou will probably be dead by the time Hinamori-fukutaichou reads that letter. If he dies, then…"_

"Airi was right," I murmured. "Toushiro is–"

"What was that, Costa-kun?"

A shiver raked my whole body. My mind was playing dirty tricks on me. It wasn't possible. I was staring at the owner of the voice, who was very dead, yet I heard his voice as if he was standing behind me.

I turned around and there he was, alive and just as I remembered him. But for some reason, I wasn't entirely glad that he was living. "Aizen-taichou?" I whispered, unable to raise my voice.

"You and your meddling friend would have ruined my plans," he commented in a slightly annoyed voice. "No matter, I will take care of this slight… inconvenience."

I felt a hand around my waist and the feeling of being shunpoed away before I lost consciousness.

* * *

><p><strong>It's been a while since I used a cliffhanger, but I'm sorry I just had to use it. I know this chapter was slow but there were things I had to wrap up before Aizen took the stage. This has absolutely <em>nothing <em>to do with the fact I'm a bit annoyed I can't change many things about the Ryoka Invasion because then we wouldn't get the Arrancar arc and etc, no sir.**

**Well, until next time, which I don't know when that is but show me love and I will promise it will be soon.**

**Penpal**


	23. The Mastermind and His Pawn

**Okay, I know I was out of it for a couple of months but my Gmail account decided that anything related to Fanfiction from August was spam. I completely forgot about Fanfiction as I immersed myself in my schoolwork, but I decided to check on Fanfiction in the beginning of this week because, well, I wanted to find out what's up with this site, no freaking updates in stories and all.**

**Long story short, I have a lot to catch up with. I'm back, though, and though I can't promise the next update to be quickly after this one, know that I will never abandon this story.**

**Thanks to Undying Soul98, guisniperman, Reader, mmsbddvr, animagirl, Emzy2k11, skipbeataddict, animefanxD, and Reader for reviewing! You guys re amazing! I will go back to responding to reviews in this chapter. Shout out to those who added this story to their alerts and favorites!**

* * *

><p>The first thing I became aware of was the thumping in my head.<p>

**_Easy, there._**

I opened my eyes and closed them again, hoping to clear some of the bleariness in my sight. I was in an unfamiliar place with shiny floors and tall towers scattered around that seemed to reach the sky.

My wandering eye caught Airi's crumpled form and I fumbled toward her, my mind still groggy and my body still uncoordinated from being knocked out for so long. Speaking of which, just how long had I been out? Was I too late? What about Rukia? Has someone found about Aizen's betrayal?

The questions seemingly stopped when I finally reached my best friend. I kneeled in front of her and shook her slightly, though she didn't respond.

"Airi!" I whispered. "Wake up!"

Her eyelids didn't even move.

I placed my hand on her back and muttered, "Shin'yu Rida." There was something wrong with Airi, but the best way to find out was by running a diagnosis on her body.

What I found wasn't exactly what I expected.

"What the–"

"So you found out."

I retrieved my hand as if it had been burned, making me fall from my lost balance. Even though I could hear him far away, I knew I had to put as much distance between us as I could. I scrambled to my feet and took a step back for every step he took towards me. "What did you do to Airi?"

"What did I do to her? Nothing she didn't want to already, I assure you," he answered nonchalantly. "Airi-kun was very adamant about this, Costa-kun, so adamant that she wanted to spread the happiness to you, but I told her she couldn't. And then she goes and betrays me as if it's nothing."

My eyes narrowed and my feet suddenly stayed. "What did you do to Airi?" I repeated more firmly, the anger seeping into my voice.

"You must understand that Airi desired power, power to protect, and she soon reailzed that I could give it to her. She asked me to Hollowfy her and I did."

"...Hollowfy?" I whispered. It sounded far too ominous to be true.

"She has trascended the barrier shinigami put on her and achieved a new level of power. She has been trying to control it for several months but alas, she needed more time."

"So you got rid of her because you couldn't use her?"

Aizen smirked, a smile so stupid that I wanted to rip his lips and burn them myself. "No, I haven't gotten rid of her, not yet. She betrayed me by leading you to me. She told you about her suspicions towards Hitsugaya-taichou, did she not?"

"I didn't believe her though," I objected, albeit weakly. I don't know why I was defending a person who was allies with a man like Aizen.

"And good thing you didn't, otherwise she would be dead."

Before I could reply to his statement, movement caught both of our attentions and we focused on Airi's awakening form. She was as disorientated as I was, though she came to her senses far quicker seeing as Aizen was here. "A-Aizen-sama!" she yelped.

"Good morning, Airi-kun. I hope your time wasn't entirely unpleasant. I wish I could say I am happy to see you, but I do not like lying when I can avoid it."

Her crazed eyes darted towards me and back to her _Aizen-sama_. "I promise I didn't want to put any of this in danger, Aizen-sama. I simply wanted Art-chan to join us. She would've, I know she would've. See, she likes learning new things. She would've loved to learn about Hollowfication–"

"Though I understand your reasons, I don't appreciate traitors. The only way I can ever let you back in is if I make sure this never happens again. Can you do that?"

Airi nodded vigorously. "Anything for you, Aizen-sama."

The man smiled serenely and pointed at me. "Kill her."

She seemed to be in the same state of shock as I was. "Aizen-sama?"

"Need I explain myself? If Costa-kun doesn't exist, then there's no reason for you to betray me for Costa-kun."

I could see the tears gathering in her eyes, but I couldn't process it entirely. I was still far too numb, not because Aizen had ordered Airi to fight me, but because I knew one of us wouldn't come out of this alive.

"Yes, I understand," she murmured. "I accept my punishment." She turned to me and brandished her zanpakutou, the action silent but the meaning behind it awfully loud. "_Hosu, Gyosei."_

The effect was immediate. The air suddenly felt too hot, too dry, and I could barely focus on Airi, who was speeding towards me with startling fierceness. I barely got out of the way with a well-timed shunpo, but she pursued me quite heatedly, preventing me from getting used to the new environment or take out my zanpakutou.

_Some help here, Raibaju!_

**_A Hainawa coming your way._**

I dodged more of Airi's downward and horizontal slashes, though one nicked me in the cheek. My best friend – if I could still call her that – was much more powerful and much faster, if this battle was of any indication. Whatever Aizen had done to her had unlocked a new power within her. The heat plus the speed of this battle made my reflexes more sluggish and I felt more slashes and nicks in my body.

_**Ready.** _

"_Bakudō #4. Hainawa_!" The yellow ropes shot from my hands and latched to their victim immediately, constricting her arms and keeping them adjacent to her body. I chanced to look at her face and was so surprised to see such a feral and disgruntled expression that I almost forgot to take out Raibaju. "Please, Airi, you don't have to do this. We can team up against Aizen. It doesn't have to be like this."

Airi growled, "Don't you dare say that, Artemis. Aizen is the best Soul Society could ever offer, and I won't even think about harming him. I already betrayed him once."

I sent Aizen a heated glare, one he amusedly ignored. "You didn't betray him; you were being my friend. And friends don't attack each other."

She stopped struggling against her bonds. "You could've joined us."

"Actually," the man started innocently, "she couldn't have. Hollowfication doesn't work on Costa-kun, since I already tried."

"What?" we both said, though for entirely different reasons. The man attempted to Hollowfy me? Was he crazy? What about my own decision? I didn't want another reason for Soul Society to hate me.

"I predicted this would happen. It is easy to Hollowfy one soul, but many… That's a complicated process that maybe not even the Hogyoku might be able to do," he explained, though the last part was more of him muttering to himself, though we still heard it.

Airi turned towards me, her eyes curious. "Art, can you roll up your sleeve to your shoulder?"

Oh, calling me _Art_ now are we? How quickly do ties change, indeed. Nevertheless, I did just as she asked, though the sleeve almost fell back when I saw the scar on my bicep.

It was a weird marking, almost reminiscent of teeth, and it was entirely white. The position and everything about it made it seem as if something had _bit _me, and that something was rather big to begin with.

"White bit you," Airi whispered, awed. "But you're normal. Why is that, Aizen-sama?"

"Costa-kun is a Transcendental. Not many shinigami know about them, and only those who study history extensively might know a little about it. What you should be aware of, though, is that Trascendentals like Costa-kun upset the balance of souls, something not even I would trifle with. She must be killed."

I wanted to defend myself, tell her that it was only in _packs _that we threatened the balance of reincarnation, but Airi didn't let me even open my mouth because she was too busy attacking me. I was glad that I had taken out Raibaju right after binding her, because if not I would have a zanpakutou running through my abdomen.

A gasp left my lips when I saw Airi's crazed eyes. Her pupils were yellow and her sclera was black and I could see the beginnings of a white mask forming in the edges of her face. "You lied to me," she growled in a distorted voice. "You hope to destroy Soul Society, our home!"

I pushed Raibaju back a bit more to even out the playing field. "I think you got everything wrong, Airi," I replied through gritted teeth. The heat was getting unbearable and I felt my body weakening from dehydration. "You are mixed with something we purify! What does that make you?"

She grinned with feral intensity. "Better."

Airi drew back to attack again, and though I parried her blow, the force behind her attack overwhelmed me so much that I was sent flying to the wall. I felt her coming my way with unimaginable speed and I barely managed to avoid the end of her zanpakutou with my shunpo. We started a little game of cat and mouse, though the cat was getting smarter and better at chasing the mouse and the mouse was getting weaker and slower with every step she took.

_What are we supposed to do?_

**_I'm trying to think of all our powers but nothing comes to mind... _**

_Can I release the real shikai?_

**_That will definitely kill you. There is no one here to save us. _**

_There must be something! Anything! I refuse to die at the hands of my best friend!_

**_You did perform Shin'yu Rida on her before, didn't you?_**

The sentence shocked me so much that I lost my step and Airi landed a nasty cut on my back. I cried out but the adrenaline made me momentarily forget the pain in favor of survival.

_We have never used it before, though!_

**_I don't think there's a sword trick or other Kido out there that can guarantee our lives. You must._**

Though I wanted to stall as much as I could, I knew I had to eventually use the Hado spell Kada taught me a couple of years ago. The feeling of not being in control of one's body, though harmless, was extremely unpleasant and I didn't want to use it on someone I considered a friend.

But then again, here she was trying to kill me.

"That's enough," I muttered. I sped up, putting more distance between my opponent and me, and then said, "Seigyoki!"

There was some resistance from both her shinigami and hollow halves, though eventually her reiryoku came to accept me as native. I ordered her body to stop and in that exact moment Airi skidded in the ground, barely keeping her balance. My hold on her was strong because she had been so out of control to begin with, so replacing her as the ruler of her body had been rather easy.

"I didn't want to do this to you but I had to."

"Aizen-sama will kill you if I don't."

Said man appeared behind her and whispered in her ear, just loud enough for me to hear, "You're half right about that."

I felt immense pain and a scorching burn in my abdomen. I subconsciously let go of the link with Airi, and though my body was unharmed, I could no longer feel my reiryoku.

Or Raibaju.

_Drip... drip... _

Dread filled me. I didn't want to look up but I had to. I was just in time to catch Airi after she crumpled, unable to keep herself standing. Her body was heavy and mine was weak and the force of her fall sent us both to the ground. Every sensation was crystal clear on my mind, every sensation except the blood seeping from the gaping wound and coating my fingers and shihakusho.

Her face was devoid of pain, but she was crying. "I'm sorry _I _couldn't kill you, Art-chan."

I choked back on a sob and shook her awake, even if I knew it was useless and those brown eyes would never _see _anything ever again. My mourning was cut short when I saw sandaled feet in my peripheral. "You bastard!" I yelled at him.

"She wanted to kill you. Her last words were expressing her regret at not killing you. I thought I would hear gratitude, Costa-_kun_."

"Don't call me that," I snapped. "You're a selfish asshole. You think of no one but yourself and your goals."

"And you don't?"

I clutched Airi tighter in my chest. "I don't kill people for my goals!" At least I don't anymore. "I also don't covert them into... into..."

"Visoreds," he supplied politely, but that just made me want to punch him even more. "And don't blame their Hollowfication on me, Costa-kun. They chose to be bitten by White. I simply took them there."

"How?" Anything to distract me from the pain.

"The first White was destroyed, but more remained in the forests of Rukongai. I once asked a select group of Fifth Division shinigami if they wanted to gain more power and they readily agreed. They were so enchanted by the process and power of Hollowfication that they spread the word to other select ranked shinigami if they ran it by me first.

"Soon I had a group numbering in the hundreds, eternally grateful to me and ready to serve me. I must admit this came as a surprise, since I was sure White would kill all the shinigami it bit, but maybe I fixed all of the problems of the first version. But all these shinigami with their loyalty remain in the aftermath and I have never been one to deter an opportunity."

"What do I have to do with any of this?"

"Your ability intrigues me. True immortality, because energy can neither be created nor destroyed. I plan on becoming a god, Costa-kun, something further than what shinigami can even imagine, but even if I have those powers I wouldn't be able to change the fates of others. Despite that, if I were to absorb the power of a Transcendental, combined with my god-like status, I could truly become a deity capable of controlling fate. I could govern Life and Death."

"I won't let you take away my powers." I put Airi down gently on the floor and stood up slowly, keeping an eye on Aizen for whatever he tried to do.

Aizen chuckled and nodded. "I know, I know, that's why I won't take your powers."

My eyes widened and I clutched my zanpakutou. "What do you mean?"

"You became useless to me once you learned of your heritage. Awakened Transcendentals are hard folk to deal with because they cling to their souls as if they were their lifelines. However, Dormant Transcendentals, unaware of who they are or what they are, can easily lose it with enough... persuasion. You led me to an interesting discovery, Costa-kun. I didn't know your association with Urahara would bear such delicious fruits."

I should've been shocked for a long time, unable to move, but the mere insinuation that he wanted to go after Al sent me past the edge. He already took Airi from me, I wouldn't let him put a finger on Al.

The sound of steel meeting flesh was a welcome surprise. I honestly didn't think Aizen was going to fall so quickly, but then again maybe he wasn't expecting me to snap like that. I retrieved my sword from his stomach, letting the blood gush out of the hole like a waterfall. Though my hands were stained with blood, I couldn't help but let my mouth stretch into a grin.

My stomach felt as if it was scorched but at the same time the metal felt cool inside of me. I coughed on my own blood and collapsed, blood pooling around me. I should feel desperate, I was going to _die _after all, but I couldn't help but feel strangely relieved. Maybe my next life was going to be more relaxed than this one, one where I didn't have to fight for my life so intensely. I just hope my next life won't feel ashamed of me; that would hurt me more than what I can imagine.

But above all, how did he _get _me? He's bleeding out in front of me.

I had to muster incredible will to cling to my consciousness.

"Ah, Hitsugaya-taichou, perhaps it would've been best if you hadn't seen that. But now that you're _here, who am I to_..."

* * *

><p>The first thing I saw was white bedsheets. I was surprised to even be able to <em>see<em>. I was supposed to be dead, that stab should've ended me immediately, but instead by damned body kept me alive long enough to feel death creeping closer and just as I was about to die I had to hear Aizen address Hitsugaya and–

My eyes widened and I moved far too quickly, pain shooting in my body as a response.

"You shouldn't move, Art-chan."

I turned my head and smiled when I saw Sachi. "I'm so glad to see you, Sachi," I croaked.

"Me too," she said with a weak smile that quickly morphed to a frown. Her eyes teared up and she launched herself at me. "Oh, Art! Airi! She's –!"

I hugged her tightly back. This was a bit uncomfortable, since I wasn't someone used to hugging others, but this felt very comforting and I realized that I needed it as much as Sachi needed it. "I know," I whispered. "I saw."

"What happened there, Art?" she asked, though it sounded more like a desperate demand. Not that I minded; the circumstances did justify such response.

Before I could answer her, there were other things I needed to clear up. "What happened after… you know."

Sachi pulled back and sat in the chair by my beside again. She was a bit put off that I hadn't answered her, but she must've understood it was a touchy subject. "Aizen was revealed to the traitor behind many crimes against shinigami and Soul Society alike. He wanted the Hogyoku inside Kuchiki Rukia and though he got it, he failed to kill her or Kuchiki-taichou. He got away along with Ichimaru, Tosen, and around four hundred Hollowfied shinigami. We tried stopping them, we really did, but they were all sealed in this yellow light named Negación and none of us could get to them.

"As for the Ryoka... Kurosaki Ichigo achieved Bankai and defeated Kuchiki-taichou but was gravely wounded along with Abarai-fukutaichou when they tried going against Aizen." I shot up at that piece of information, and my body protested in response. Sachi gently pushed me back down with a knowing smile. "They both recovered, don't worry."

"What about Toushirou?"

She raised an eyebrow at the use of his first name but let it pass. "He was actually discharged three days ago. You'll be the last person to leave the infirmary, you know. Multiple emergency surgeries and you still wouldn't give a sign of recovering. Unohana-taichou told us to give up, actually. But one day you just suddenly started breathing by yourself, your soul was healed, and the Fourth Division only had to take care of your body. Apparently your soul was too damaged from a failed Hollowfication and two fatal wounds, one to your body and the other to your reiryoku, that you needed to fight for your own life. Honestly, Art, just _what _happened down there?"

Sachi seemed unaware of my fight with Airi, and that was good. I can't imagine how distraught she would be in finding out her best friend, a sister almost, had become such a power-hungry, animalistic shinigami bent on pleasing Aizen's wishes.

"Airi and I were walking by the Fifth Division around four in the morning when we saw Aizen's body pinned to the wall with a sword. It was very recent, so recent that Aizen was still in the scene, so he knocked us out. I woke up next to Airi in a spacious place full of towers."

"Seijoutoukyorin. That's where the Central 46 members live... or used to live." At my confused face, she elaborated, "Aizen killed them all."

I sighed and shook my head; I should've seen it coming. "Anyway, once I was completely aware of my surroundings I woke Airi up. After a few tries she woke up, very confused, and once she was a bit more grounded she explained the weird things happening in the Fifth Division lately and how they almost dragged her into it and threatened her for silence."

"I hear Hinamori-fukutaichou made everyone take the secrecy vow very seriously."

"Hinamori-fukutaichou?"

"She's the self-proclaimed first Visored."

My firsts clenched at my sides. That was Toushirou's closest friend, who had just betrayed him and Soul Society for power and Aizen. There goes another thing we could add to our bonding time list. "Just after she finished telling me that, Aizen comes in and stabs Airi in the back. I really tried to do something, Sachi, I swear I did but he was... Impossible to pinpoint."

"Kyoka Suigetsu is an illusion-type zanpakutou. No taichou was able to defeat him, Art, so you shouldn't beat yourself up for it."

Well that explained how I was able to stab him but not _him _per se; the man I stabbed was an illusion and the one who ran his sword through me was very real. "After that, he stabbed me as well and... well, you know the rest."

"What about the Hollowfication? Everyone is interested in finding out how you didn't become a Hollow."

"Actually I don't know. I don't remember much of what happened before or after." That wasn't a complete lie: I really didn't know when he tried to Hollowfy me, just why: to see if he could use me as a pawn at least. My best guess is that he took me to see White meanwhile I was out and it bit me, but the process failed. I may have remnants of the failed experiment, but I don't want to dwell too much on the subject.

"... I know I will sound horrible for saying this, but maybe it's better that Airi died. The biopsy and tests revealed a successful and rapidly advancing Hollowfication in her. I'm surprised you didn't see it."

"Now that you mention it, she had weird eyes, but I was't really thinking about her eyes at the moment."

"Airi would've hated herself to realize what she had become, against her will no less. It's better that she got to live the best parts of her life in peace, without worrying about that monster inside of her." Tears started streaming down her cheeks again and she hugged me tightly. "Oh, Art! I'm so glad I have you!"

She constantly whispered "Thank you," and I murmured back "You're welcome,"though for what she was thanking me I would never know.

* * *

><p>Sachi eventually had to leave. Soul Society was still in a period of reconstruction from many battles, and one week was still too little to repair a whole city. She did say she was going to try to visit me as much as she could, but we both knew she sacrificed a lot of time by staying by my bedside the whole week I was out.<p>

The silence should be comforting, but it wasn't. This just reminded me that Raibaju was gone, and the thought of never seeing him again made very depressing thoughts _very _apparent. I can't imagine living without my zanpakutou, my source of power or stability. First of all, I can't really perform my shinigami duties without Raibaju, and even if I could I wouldn't want to, not without him.

I knew the source of this. Possessing Airi when she was stabbed was a horrible idea. Though it was her body the one who physically received the damage, it was my reiryoku who spiritually received it. Reiryoku and bodies are meant to go hand in hand for this very reason, because if one is greatly damaged the other cannot fully function.

The Fourth Division knew how to heal reiryoku though, so why haven't they?

"I'm glad to see you're awake, Costa-san," Unohana-taichou said from my doorstep.

I must be a more than average patient if the very Unohana-taichou came to check up on me and not one of the Fourth Division members. "Thank you, Unohana-taichou. I'm happy to be back."

She took a chart from the foot of my bed and flipped through the pages. "I know your case very well, but I must make sure everything is correct," she mentioned for my own curiosity's sake, something I appreciated greatly. "You were quite the tricky patient, Costa-san. The stab wound was relatively easy to deal with. Taking care of the remnants of the Hollowfication was a bit harder but still manageable. Now, healing your reiryoku... now that_ is_ quite the challenge."

"My reiryoku is still not healed?"

"Several years ago, a retired Kido master confided in me a wondrous discovery on one of his students. She had normal reiryoku pathways, but she had reiryoku stacked on top of reiryoku stacked on top of reiryoku for what seemed like infinity, though most of it was dormant. Not only that, but there was something sucking this reiryoku! It was very hard resisting the urge to call you here and examine you myself."

"So why didn't you?"

"I'm a firm believer of doctor-patient confidentiality, and I was afraid that my discoveries would force me to break that code."

I sighed, suddenly feeling much too old for this, maybe because I _was_. I stared at the bedsheets, finding them much more interesting than the woman standing in front of me. "I knew I couldn't keep it hidden for too long. When do I go to prison?"

An amused chuckle made me whip my head up. Her eyes were twinkling with merriment. "At ease, Costa-san. No one is taking you to prison. I confirmed your status two days after we took you in. We had a Captain's Meeting solely devoted to deciding your fate and we unanimously agreed to leave you be. Transcendentals in smaller numbers are much more manageable."

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding. Those were the best news I had heard in a while. "The Maggot's Nest doesn't sound very appealing," I said matter-of-factly, to which Unohana nodded, somewhat amused. "Though I must ask.. What will happen with my reiryoku? I can't communicate with my zanpakutou."

"The wound you received from your possession of Ichihara-san damaged most, if not all, of your layers of reiryoku. Usually the host's physical body would have been able to shield your reiryoku from most of the attack, but Ichihara-san herself was too unstable and corrupted to offer you any protection. We're halfway done restoring your reiryoku."

Between this piece of information and the fact that Soul Society had pardoned my existence my day had gone from down in the slumps to amazing and happy and bright. "Oh, great, for one second I feared that I wouldn't be a shinigami anymore. Though I'm a bit annoyed that I don't have access to all of my reiryoku but if one little thing goes wrong then everything goes bad."

"From what I could find about your soul, your power works like a pyramid, though you only have access to the pinnacle. However, if something were to happen to everything in between the pinnacle and the foundations, then your entire power is unusable. Don't fret, Costa-san, you will return to your duties soon enough. It might be best that you rest even more, since there is much to do once we discharge you."

"Just what, Unohana-taichou?"

"War. War is approaching, and we will need every sword we have or can have."

* * *

><p><strong>Yup, Aizen took around 400 shinigami with him to Hueco Mundo. Why? Because more manpower for him and less manpower for Soul Society. When I said he was a bit smarter this time around, I wasn't kidding.<strong>

**How, you ask?**

**SPOILERS FOR MANGA**

**Though Aizen needs the Hogyoku to perform this to the perfection, he actually Hollowfied shinigami through infections. White was a Hollow created by Aizen with the souls of many shinigami (how he gets away with this and no one notices is beyond me) and attempted to Hollowfy Masaki when he bit her on the shoulder. Isshin manages to suppress it and all, but the plot bunny is there. In this story, White does not get only one shot to Hollowfy but he can do it multiple times. The Hogyoku will still be used for Arrancar and to deify Aizen, though.**

**SPOILERS DONE**

**So that's that. Art will be out of commission (but not action) for a while, so until the next installment guys!**

**Reviews are love.**

**Penpal**


	24. Rebuilding

**Hullo loyal readers. Not much to say except an innumerable amount of thanks to guisniperman, animagirl, animefanxD, skipbeataddict, VioletScar222, and Someone for being awesome and leaving a review. Also, many thanks to those who added this story to their favorites and alerts.**

* * *

><p>I felt a distinct sense of déjà vu in coming back in to the Sixth Division. It had happened before, after my Shikai fiasco, but this time people saw me with a sense of begrudging respect instead of fear or indifference. I don't know if I should be worried or proud of this, since there was only one reason why people would ever respect me.<p>

"Ah, Art-chan, there you are!"

Mihane walked to me with a bright smile on her face. She had visited me once when I was in the Fourth Division, albeit it was a rather short visit. Soul Society had been crippled worse than what I had been led to believe and most of the remaining shinigami had to work extra hard to make up for the work the traitors left. The Sixth Division, though it experienced amongst the least amount of deflectors, lost seven ranked shinigami, which is a lot considering we only have forty one ranked shinigami now.

"Hey, Mihane. Long time no see."

"You're telling me. You just got discharged today?"

"Yup, half an hour ago. I'm due at the Fourth Division every three days for some reiryoku therapy, but other than that I'm quite fit now." The Fourth Division said that it would take around a month and a half to heal the rest of my reiryoku because it was something that my soul had to do on its own. The therapy sessions would keep track of my progress and speed up some factors, but nothing more.

I felt naked without Raibaju though, so I hoped our connection can be regained sooner.

"Good, because there is so much we must do and talk about! I heard Shihoin-san visited you–"

"With Renji."

She pouted. "Yeah, with Renji, but rumor says–"

"Ah, Costa-senpai, Shirogane-senpai!"

Mihane growled under her breath but she still greeted Rikichi with a warm smile. "Hello, Rikichi-kun. Is something wrong?"

"Kuchiki-taichou wanted me to tell Costa-senpai that she is due in his office right now."

Something flashed in her eyes and her smile disappeared. "Ah, yeah, true..."

The young boy coughed awkwardly and, noticing that the mood had turned darker, softly excused himself. I noticed his departure, but Mihane was staring at the distance with steely eyes. "It's okay, Mihane."

She whipped her head to me, her eyes flashing with surprise. "What? You know?"

I sighed. There was a reason why people had been staring at me with respect, a reason I realized easily. "I had a feeling. What I tried to do broke the Sixth Division's deepest held belief. I deserve whatever Kuchiki-taichou decides for me."

"But you were right about the trial... And you've gone through so much. That's not fair."

A grin quickly formed in my lips and I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Mihane, it's not like I'm disappearing from your life. You're one of my most cherished friends, and I won't let you walk out of my life."

Mihane smiled warmly and gave me a tight hug, one I returned happily. "I knew I shouldn't have worried. Worse comes to worse, I could always request a transfer."

I released her from my hug and gave her a look of mock disapproval. "You won't do that because you love it here. Now, I think I should get going; Kuchiki-taichou probably doesn't like waiting."

She agreed and bid me farewell, not before making me promise her to meet with her at this dumpling shop. Her absolute favorite food was dumplings, and she had convinced me to try that restaurant which had become part of our weekly routine. It made me happy knowing that this little tradition of ours wouldn't change regardless of the punishment I receive from our captain.

I knew I should feel heavy and despondent, but quite frankly I did not care. I was proud of my decision to save Rukia and felt at peace with my consciousness in that aspect. The worst had already happened, so whatever my captain decided to do with me would be child's play compared with what I already had gone through.

Renji opened the door from inside Kuchiki's office without any prompt. He grinned sheepishly at me and said, "Your reiatsu is much stabler now."

I went inside and cocked my head slightly to the side. "That's good to hear, I guess. But what are you doing here?"

"I asked him to be here."

Honestly, I should've known that Kuchiki would be in his own office, but for a moment I thought that Renji and I were truly alone in the room, which was a very stupid assumption. I jumped in surprise and unwittingly slammed the door shut. Renji and I cringed simultaneously and I could imagine the glare I was currently receiving.

Momentarily ignoring my blunder, I stepped forth and gave him the customary bow. Renji also treaded forward until he was standing next to me, looking as proud as any lieutenant would be.

"Good morning, Kuchiki-taichou."

"I trust that you know why you're here."

Though a couple of minutes I was fearless, a wave of hurt washed over me. I had dedicated so much to this division and all my work was going to be meaningless very soon just because I did the right thing. "Yes, I do. If you don't mind my asking, how did you find out?"

Byakuya raised an eyebrow with a trace of amusement and looked pointedly at Renji. "Your accomplice got quite talkative during our fight."

I straightened and pivoted a bit stiffly towards him. "You told _him_? You told our _taichou_? Are you insane or an idiot or both?"

He grinned sheepishly, again, and scratched the back of his neck. "I got a bit carried away, and, well... I wanted to see his face when I told him we were saving Rukia."

"You're such an idiot, Renji. You tell our captain of our betrayal _and _fight him? How the hell are you still" –I quickly checked his arm for the armband denoting his position, which was still there– "our fukutaichou?"

Byakuya cleared his throat, drawing attention back to him. "And that was what I was getting at before you got sidetracked, Artemis."

My eyes widened and I shot Renji a helpless look, to which he only smirked. What the hell? Did he just call me by my first name? I quickly diverted my attention and almost choked on my own spit; was that the beginning of a smirk? Who is _he_?

"You not only betrayed Soul Society, but you went against the very foundation of our division. Normally, I would have your shinigami status revoked, but you fought for what you believe was fair and just, not for some whim. If there is anything that Gotei 13 values above loyalty is bravery to do what is right, especially when everyone else is in the wrong. For that, I will not demote you or dishonorably discharge you from Gotei 13.

"However, I cannot ignore the coordinated insubordination you had with Renji. He was already beaten to an inch of his life, and I hear you are temporarily out of duty, so in the meantime you will help Renji and I with our paperwork. There has been a surge of work as a result of the deflectors, so we find ourselves in dire need of help. You may not even see it as punishment... You may see it as a _favor _of sorts."

My eyes darted between the two of them, waiting for the moment either of them started laughing uncontrollably and yes, I can see the captain doing that now that he calls both Renji and I by our first names. When they only continued staring at me expectantly, I just slumped. I have heard horror stories of mountains of paperwork and to think that I had become its next victim was a rather depressing thought.

"I see," I said tentatively.

"Good. You start right now."

"What?"

Renji motioned to the two new desks, which facing each other in opposite sides of the room. "Why do you think taichou has two new desks? He doesn't trust us to work without supervision, so this was the only way."

"The only way," I echoed rather emptily.

"Yeah." The redhead smiled widely and patted me on the shoulder. "Hey, aren't you excited? You get to work with us! Not many people can boast that."

"I don't think it's something you can brag about."

"Well, you can be the first one."

"Abarai, Costa, _work_."

"Hai, taichou!"

* * *

><p><em>"I have a favor I need to ask you, Ichigo."<em>

_The Substitute Shinigami looked at me quizzically. He must be wondering why I had summoned him to my room, considering that I didn't allow many people in. Though we had fought on the same side during our little rebellion/invasion, we had never talked much, except for now. I had met his friends, the Savior Ryoka, but neither side had expressed much interest in knowing each other._

_"What is it?"_

_"My little brother is in danger."_

_His eyebrows shot up. "You have a brother."_

_I nodded gravely. "I don't know how much you know about Transcendentals–"_

_"Rukia told me about it when she found out."_

_Well, that's one less topic I have to explain, and I don't know how much time I have before someone comes in, so thank you Rukia. "Well, he is a Transcendental too."_

_"I thought you were the only one."_

_"Awakened, yes, but Dormant there are many. Al is rather special, and Aizen wants him. I'm not very sure of my own heritage yet, but whatever he is planning to do with my brother can be no good."_

_"Okay, I'll keep an eye on him, but why don't you ask Seireitei to help you out?"_

_I grimaced and looked down. "I'm afraid that at the moment they only tolerate me, and only because they know they need every able-bodied person to fight against Aizen. If they find out that Al is a Transcendental, they might think he is one too many."_

_"Well, more of a good reason to keep in touch with him. What did you say his name was again?"_

_"Alberto. He lives with Urahara."_

_His eyes widened excitedly. "Is he in his mid-twenties, has messy brown hair, and a bit of beard?"_

_I blinked. "Yeah, that's Al. You know him?"_

_"He goes by Kojou, and he's really quiet but funny. I don't think he knows much Japanese."_

_Well, my parents _told _him various times to learn his languages and look where that got him. Way to go, Al. "Yeah, he doesn't speak Japanese. He's an idiot."_

_"It's a good thing that we all speak English, though it takes a while to get conversations going. Don't worry, we won't let anything happen to Kojou."_

_"Thank you, Ichigo. You're a good person, I hope you know that."_

_He smiled softly, as if he wasn't reminded of that fact very often. "Thanks, Artemis."_

* * *

><p>Though the first couple of days had been rather uncomfortable, I had gotten used to working with Renji and Byakuya. The captain was as stoic and still as a stone; whatever good will he had had the other day had vanished, or it was under very tight control. He had delegated the training duties to Seishirou so that Renji would stay in the office for most of the day. Restricting me was much easier since I didn't have any higher responsibilities to speak of and I was out of duty.<p>

Needless to say, the job was quite boring. We started at eight on the dot and ended once the sun had gone down, though we had two breaks for lunch and a spar. The captain, however, would remain in his office, foregoing both entertainment and leisure.

Renji landed a nasty hit in my abdomen, right on top of my wound. I lashed out in self defense and landed a full turning kick in his arm, the force sending him skidding a couple of feet.

He rubbed his injured arm. "Damn, Art, what did I do to you?"

I frowned. "You hit me in my wound."

"Well, I got my ass beat by taichou and I'm not whining."

"I got stabbed."

"He used Senbonzakura on me."

"Aizen wants to kill us."

"I thought taichou wanted to kill me."

"You told on _me_."

"It was an accident!"

I sighed and shook my head. "We should probably head back. I don't think I can handle another month of all this paperwork."

Renji grinned and shunpoed next to me. "How many months did you get?"

"Five."

"Ha! I got two."

"You did get beat up."

"Why yes, I did."

Our banter continued all the way until the office's hallway. We immediately stopped once we felt another reiatsu presence in the room with the captain, which meant that we either had a visitor or an intruder.

He should've been an intruder, that way I could've attacked him on sight.

"Ah, here she is. You have garnered quite a bit of fame, haven't you, Costa?"

"Yes, Kurotsuchi-taichou. Many things have happened."

"Good, and even more things will happen."

"You assume that I will agree to this arrangement," Byakuya interrupted, sounding rather displeased.

Kurotsuchi grinned, his yellowed teeth glinting. "I have no reason why you should disagree. I even got approval from Yamamoto-soutaichou. Surely you wouldn't go against his commands."

"Don't assume things, Kurotsuchi-taichou... You might be surprised."

"Just what is going on?"

"You have no concern with this," he snapped at me, but he was too late, I already knew he wanted something to do with me.

Kuchiki's eyes narrowed. "It has everything to do with her. You will do well to explain what you want."

The scientist didn't look pleased in receiving orders from his supposed equal, but he must've realized that everyone in the room had their own brand of unshakeable determination so he finally relented. "Now that Aizen and his illusion tricks are gone, we were able to find the Hollow White used to convert all those shinigami. As you must know, we are currently at a stark disadvantage against Aizen and his forces, since their strength has increased to unforeseen levels and they can also call upon Hollow powers. Killing them will be hard, but we ran some tests and found it possible to revert the Hollowfication they have.

"Well, it is possible only if we have an antidote, and the only way we can get the antidote is by using the venom. Unfortunately, none of us can get close to White without that disgusting creature trying to bite us. Though it would be great to have some live shinigami trials to mimic the Visored powers, I'm afraid we don't have the procedure Aizen used to guarantee survivals and apparently we cannot afford to lose a single shinigami."

"So you want me to get the venom from White since I'm immune to him," I finished, knowing where he was going.

His eyes glinted and his smile widened. "Even after all these years your sharpness hasn't dulled. But yes, we need someone either expandable or immune, and luckily you are unable to be Hollowfied."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I knew what he wanted and he was lying about something important. "How do I know you're not lying to me like last time?"

Kurotsuchi starting laughing. "Me? Lied to you? You are either too naive or too dense. You never asked where those particles came from, Costa; don't blame this on me. But enough of this chat. I will be expecting you tomorrow at nine in the laboratory."

"Not so fast. I never agreed to anything."

"You have no reason to disagree."

"My taichou owns my time from eight to sunset at the moment. I'm afraid I'm not in the position to make any arrangements."

The Twelfth Division captain's eyebrows and smile twitched momentarily. He looked at Byakuya rather expectantly. "Well?"

"I am currently disciplining my subordinate for breaches in protocol. I can spare her assistance once a week and no more. For the next time, I would appreciate it if you didn't come here without an appointment. You should know how dire things are, Kurotsuchi-taichou."

Said captain, though chastised, smirked at me. "I will be expecting you soon, Costa."

I grit my teeth and held back a growl, knowing I had lost this one battle. As a lower ranked shinigami, my time belonged to my superiors and they could do with me as they saw fit. In this case, I had to cooperate with a madman who wanted to create Soul Society's first biological weapon.

Yes, he may have fooled Yamamoto into believing that his studies would lead to an antidote (or maybe it had been a mutual agreement), but I knew that his true motives were the creation of a pathogen that would affect the people with White's venom. Even though they were our enemies, I had a moral issue with biological weapons, and using them against past allies would leave me with a sour taste.

That, however, wasn't the biggest of the problems. Technically, Kurotsuchi could create a counter of this and create a pathogen that only White's antibodies were immune to. Considering that the Twelfth Division had access to the only venom supply in Soul Society, they could choose who lives and who dies. I wouldn't put it past the scientist to get rid of most of the shinigami in the name of advancing his own agenda.

Nobody can stop the flow of knowledge or technology. Once something is discovered, it is only a matter of time before applications arise and the knowledge spreads to other agencies. Luckily for me, the neither the knowledge nor technology had been acquired yet, so maybe I could delay the creation of biological weapons just a little bit.

I kept these thoughts to myself. I didn't want to ruin my luck by accusing a reputable captain of the Gotei 13 with treasonous ideas, especially after I myself had been branded a traitor not too long ago.

"Art, you okay?"

My head snapped towards Renji, who was sitting behind his desk and looking at me questioningly. Kuchiki-taichou was working and seemingly disinterested in our conversation, but I knew better.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about something. I'll get back to work now."

* * *

><p>Out of all the divisions, the Fifth had been hit the hardest with the number of traitors. Not only that, but it was left without both a captain and vice-captain, leaving a void in the leadership. Normally, if both the captain and vice-captain spots were vacant, the Third Seat would take over the duties of the division. Unfortunately, the Third, Fourth, and Fifth Seats had followed the footsteps of their leaders, and Gotei 13 had dictated that the Sixth Seat was an inadequate position to lead a whole division.<p>

A lack of ranked members had left the Fifth in shambles and it was up to the other divisions to revitalize it.

The courtyard was quite crowded. Granted, it was a joint session with the Fifth Division, but it was not crowded _because _the Fifth Division was training with us. All the divisions took turns with the Fifth. Byakuya and Renji were working extra hard to oversee two divisions, but many things still missed. Thus they left jurisdiction of the Sixth Division in the hands of Seishirou.

My incantation speed had halved without Raibaju, so I had to work extra hard to make up for his absence. People noticed that I was slower but they attributed it to the heavy injuries I had sustained against Aizen. Speaking of which, my fight against him had been elevated until I had become some sort of a celebrity. Here was someone who had received a wound meant to kill from Aizen and was _alive_. In a way, my life was a proof that Aizen could fail. Luckily the good outnumbered the bad and Seireitei seemed to forget that I had been plotting treason before becoming some sort of hero.

Renji and Ichigo had gained a different type of status altogether. The female shinigami liked to picture them as rival turned friends soon-to-be rivals again, though this time for Rukia's affections. Some rooted for Renji, claiming that a man willing to give up all his titles and fight against his peers for the woman he loved deserved to have her affections, meanwhile others supported Ichigo, arguing that he had given up his only chance for a normal, safe life all in the name of rescuing his "friend."_  
><em>

No male was aware of the rumor mill going on. It was a well-kept female shinigami secret.

"Your legs are too far apart. You could slip if you decided to shunpo," he gently pointed this out to an unranked member practicing next to me.

The shinigami blushed and corrected her posture. "Thank you, Shihoin-sama."

I still hate noble titles.

Anyway, for all the fame I had garnered, I was still avoided by most of the shinigami. It was not because of my status as a Transcendental –only the captains and Mihane were aware of that– but there was something about my person that gave made me unapproachable.

I confused my opponent into believing I would go for a downwards slash and shunpoed behind him, placing the tip of my sword against his neck. "Yield," I commanded softly.

"A-Alright."

Okay, maybe it was this attitude that still kept people away from me.

We bowed to each other but before I could leave the courtyard Seishirou appeared in front of me. "Not too shabby, considering you were in the hospital for around a week and you still can't use your zanpakutou."

I shrugged and sheathed Raibaju. "Well, I'm not useless without Raibaju, but thanks."

I prepared myself to leave and I could see his blue eyes widening. "Wait!"

My eyebrow shot up. "What?"

He gulped and looked away, refusing to meet my gaze. "I was wondering if–"

"Shihoin-sama!"

"Dammit," he cursed under his breath.

I chuckled and grinned at him. "You're needed, Shihoin-_sama_." He glared at me, indignant, which just made me laugh a bit louder. "We'll talk later, alright? I have to go visit obaa-chan today."

He nodded and smirked at me. "I'll hold you to that."

Getting out of the crowded courtyard was a bit hard, but after that the roads were empty, as if everyone was busy. Rukongai was considerably less tense than Seireitei and I would be surprised if they even knew what had happened, but that was good, because the people were still carefree and happy. In a way, it was because I wanted to protect those feelings that I continued my path to become a stronger shinigami.

I could smell peach tea a mile away, which whet my tongue for that warm liquid that my self-appointed grandmother made for me. She usually had jasmine or honey and lemon tea prepared for me, but she must've gotten lucky since peaches were something of a commodity, even in the higher districts.

Hanari hugged me as soon as I stepped inside. This was the first time she had seen me since the attack and no wonder I had worried her sick. She looked over me, making sure that the injuries were as harmless as I had led her to believe. After checking over me she whispered, "I was so scared."

I smiled apologetically. "Sorry for not coming any sooner, baa-chan. I was told to stay in Seireitei for a while."

"Yes, Toshiro told me. He's inside, in his room. He hasn't left that room in a couple of hours."

Well, that was a surprise. I had gotten better with detecting reiatsu but his was as subtle as the air around us. He must really wish to not be found.

"I should talk to him... We haven't really seen each other after the attack."

She smiled sadly. "Yes, I know. Sometimes two hurting souls find more solace in each other than in others. I'll prepare more tea and keep it warm so that we all can have some."

Hanari's home had always been small, with the kitchen and dining room being a single space in the shack. However, they each had their own rooms, which were somewhat hidden from visitors.

I had never gone inside Toshiro's room. There was a line I could never cross, and that line was going inside his childhood room. He didn't sleep here anymore, but his memories were in there, memories of when he was younger and carefree and maybe even happier. Trespassing his room was the same as him visiting mine in my parents' house.

I knocked on the door, and, as I expected, no answer came.

This should've discouraged anyone from going in. It almost convinced me that there were some people who dealt with pain better by being alone than in company. But that was bullshit. Loneliness reminds us that the world is a cruel place and there is no one to share the load with. Company beats back that feeling and reminds us that there always those who are willing to go through pain with you.

The door knob turned and I stepped in, throwing every caution I had through the window.

Toshiro was sitting in his bed, eyes and head downcast. The Tenth Division members who knew of their captain's relationship with Fifth Division vice-captain were surprised to see how well Toshiro was taking the betrayal of his best friend. I had heard that Aizen had pitted Hinamori to fight against Hitsugaya. If Hinamori had not been Hollowfied, maybe he could've avoided injuries, but Hinamori had landed nasty gashes in his chest which had stopped until he had knocked her out.

And then Aizen stabbed him.

"Why are you here?" His voice wasn't cold or accusing, it was simply empty, as if he didn't care anymore.

I wish I could say I was a much more understanding person, but seeing him like this filled me with a brand of anger I couldn't quite name. "What are you doing, locking yourself in here and making everybody concerned for you?"

That caught his attention. He looked up and his eyes narrowed at me, a sure sign of emotion I gladly welcomed. "I'm mourning. I'm allowed to do that, you know?"

"What are you mourning for? She didn't die."

"She's as good as dead."

"Now that's just cruel. There are others who really are dead and are never coming back." He visibly winced, and I felt a bit guilty in pulling that card so I continued a bit more gently, "You can at least convince her that she's wrong."

"Hinamori is a traitor now. Don't you understand? Even if she repents or grovels for forgiveness, Soul Society will never accept her. Not after what she's done or what she's become."

Though we were both betrayed by our best friends and the root was Aizen, here was the point where our despairs took a different turn: Airi was dead, Hinamori wasn't. I didn't need to worry about Airi ever coming back and joining our side anymore because the dead can't make decisions, but Hinamori could choose to come back. She could choose to be an ally once again.

I'm not sure which pain was worse: the pain of losing a friend to death or the pain of losing a friend to destiny.

"The Twelfth Division is helping out to create an antidote. Soul Society could strike a deal with Hinamori if she decides to be one of our first test subjects."

Hitsugaya snorted. "Kurotsuchi told us it was unlikely. The dangers are too great."

"Then he didn't tell you that he found someone to safely harvest the venom from White."

Finally his eyes gained some more emotion, a combination of confusion and hope. "You are?"

"Yes, I am. Though the deal is a bit shaky, I can tell Kurotsuchi that I want Hinamori to be the first subject. Since that carries a bit of danger, if she does it willingly then Seireitei will have no choice but offer her a truce. She will be dishonorably discharged, but your friend will be back."

"How are you so sure that this will happen?"

"I'm not," I admitted a bit nervously, "but hope is better than despair. You need to convince her to do this."

His eyes narrowed even more and I started fearing a harsh rebuke when he smiled softly. "Thank you, Artemis. You are a great friend, but I don't think I'll need this."

"What?"

He stood up, and though he still only reached my shoulder, he look intimidating and grand. "Hinamori chose to betray me for Aizen. I won't chase after someone who doesn't want to be chased. I have to respect her decision, that's the least I can do."

There's the hardest thing to do: leaving a friend to her destiny.

I crossed my arms, suddenly feeling small, even though Toshiro wasn't even trying to be intimidating. "Well, we still need a couple of test subjects, so maybe she'll be one of them."

He smirked. "You never give up on anyone, do you?"

I tried to control the heat flooding into my cheeks but it was hard. "I used to," I muttered, somewhat defensive. "I learned not to."

* * *

><p>Going to the Fourth Division may be a pain in the ass for most, but it was actually really relaxing for me. Since my wounds were in my reiryoku system, I had no physical pain to be treated. Instead, the shinigami nurses always needed me to meditate in order to access the deeper links of my reiryoku, and relaxation during this war preparation was seldom found.<p>

The deeper the nurses went, the less conscious I needed to be. I think that today I would be put to sleep, and though I don't like naps, I have been feeling a bit sleep deprived; this little break could help me.

"We'll need you to be unconscious for this healing session, Costa-san."

"What will happen when we go further into my reiryoku?"

The nurse frowned. "I believe we will put you in a deeper sleep."

"That sounds reasonable."

"I must warn you," he said with a rather ominous tone. "We have never repaired reiryoku as expansive and dynamic as yours. Patients before have experienced weird dreams caused by our probing around with their reiryoku. Some wake up with small lacerations and bruises and say they were reliving fights in their dreams."

Now that's interesting. "Have you studied this in more detail?"

He shook his head rather sadly. "Unfortunately not many shinigami suffer from reiryoku wounds. They are rather rare and we can't go around wounding shinigami for our own studies. What we know though is that our healing of reiryoku influences dreams to the point of causing damage in the physical world. I would be careful if I were you."

The Twelfth would use shinigami for their own devices and they would do it gladly, especially with Kurotsuchi in charge.

"Well, thanks for the warning. I'll be on the lookout."

The nurse nodded and motioned me to lay down on the bed. He put a hand covered with green-aura over my forehead and I felt my eyes droop almost immediately.

When I opened them again I was at the beach–my beach. My piano was on the other side and Raibaju was absent, but that was alright since it was nothing out of the ordinary. What _was _rather strange was the canoe tied to a very small pier. Unlike the beginning stages of my inner world, the sea was calm today but had glorious winds.

A perfect day for sailing.

I positioned myself and the oars and started rowing. I expected my arms to be sore in the first five minutes but all that training and muscle-building in my shinigami years must've left me with quite a bit of resistance.

The sea was still beautiful and I rowed for what seemed like hours without tiring, something that only happened in dreams. Which leads me to question: is this my inner world or is this a dream inspired by my inner world? Since the day Raibaju told me not to explore the sea, I have been wanting to do exactly that, call it curiosity or a belated sense of rebelliousness. Many things would be explained if this was my dream world but if it wasn't...

I know now that beyond the sea are my memories of my past lives. Just where exactly are they and what shape they take are a mystery, and one that Raibaju has kept well-hidden.

It would be a waste to turn back now, so I kept rowing. My beach had already disappeared from my view and my only surroundings were the dark blue sea and the light blue sky. At first I would have thought this would make me nervous, but actually I felt at peace with myself; there was a sense of solitude out here that can be found nowhere else in the world.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I failed to notice the water becoming more violent and the sky darkening. By the time I did it was too late and I was rowing in the middle of the storm. I didn't need to be a sailor or experienced with seafaring to know that being trapped in the middle of the storm in a canoe was very bad news.

Shinigami emotions and state of mind influence the inner world. When I first arrived in my inner world it was raining and the sea was violent, reflecting the complete mess my reiryoku and my mind were at that time. That the weather had been beautiful to begin with was a testament that I no longer suffered of identity issues.

However, the sea had turned savage in a short timespan, and it couldn't have been influenced by my emotions because I was perfectly content. Which means that my nurse is healing the wounded areas of my reiryoku and this is the way my body responds.

By trying to kill me.

A cold wave hit my right side harshly, making me momentarily lose my grip on my oar. That was all it took for the oar to disappear in the raging sea, increasing my nervousness exponentially, especially when I realized I couldn't wake up or leave my inner world. Was I stuck here until the nurse finished or could I only leave through my beach?

A yes in either of those questions wouldn't be very good.

My canoe was already halfway flooded from all the rain and all the waves. How can I get out of this place? Will this kill me? Am I trapped in my subconscious? This is the _worst _time to became even more incapacitated. I can't die now! My brother is in danger!

_Raibaju! I'm sorry! I promise I will never disobey you ever–_

Before I could finish, a tall wave crashed against the canoe, plunging me underwater and into the darkness of my mind.

* * *

><p>In the darkness, something licked my cheek repeatedly. The sunshine was beating my back but the sand made a comfortable, warm bed for my rather sore body. I was alive, that much was certain, but I didn't want to open my eyes just yet. The licking was persistent, though, which was weird considering–<p>

_Raibaju!_

I shot up and sure enough, there was a white wolf looking at me curiously and with intelligent amusement in its golden eyes.

"Raibaju!" I said happily. I sat up and hugged him by its neck, which it immediately got out of. "What? I mean, I know you're angry but that doesn't mean you have to be so... cold."

Someone to my right laughed. I yelped and fell backwards, hitting the sand rather roughly. A young man with dark skin and bright golden eyes was grinning at me, completely amused at my appearance. "Sorry, dear, but that's Shiranui and he doesn't like hugs. Believe me, I learned the hard way."

Now that I looked closely, the white wolf was almost identical to Raibaju, but there was a big difference, namely the lack of white light billowing on its back. As if to prove the man's point, Shiranui howled and red intricate markings suddenly decorated its skin and red and green and blue and yellow and orange flames appeared on its back as if they were a cape and he doubled his size.

"Wow," I whispered. "That's–"

"Awesome? Amazing? Incredible? Yes, we'll take all of those," the man said with a smug smile.

I whipped my head at him and narrowed my eyes. "Hey, that reminds me: who the hell are you?"

"Me? I used to be the last life in this soul aware of our Transcendental status but now... Well, that would be you."

"Does that mean that..."

The man offered his hand at me and he pushed me up when I took it. "Yeah, it means we have the same soul, Artemis."

* * *

><p><strong>I think that one of the hardest parts of writing fanfiction manga, any manga, really, is the pace. The manga goes so fast but writing can't take that and must explore and develop many plot points and stuff like that. So right now we're back at development. <strong>

**At least being out of commission wasn't so bad for her.**

**Reviews are life.**

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	25. White

**Well, here is Chapter 25. Before I start I want to express my deepest gratitude to animagirl, LikeTheSky, animefanxD, LadyDream3512, and Choco-Latte64 for leaving a review and brightening my day. This chapter was definitely done because of your encouragement. Also, I would like to thank all of you who added this story to their follows and favorites. Thousand thanks!**

* * *

><p>Shock comes in many forms, but the first time I felt it deeply was when I met my grandmother when I was eleven.<p>

All this time all my picture of my grandmother was formed by words. Stories Nonno told about her were grand, making her out to be the most beautiful, determined, tender woman ever. She passed when my father was fifteen, and left my grandfather with a heart so wrenched that he never married again, much to the disappointment of my matchmaker dad. He understood that his mother would always want the love of his life to be happy, but Nonno refused every woman sent his way.

At first I thought it was a trick of the light. My Nonno was telling us a story about Italy after World War II and there I saw her, with a tender smile and placing a hand on my Nonno's shoulder. At first I didn't know who she was, but then Nonno gave me a knowing smile and said, "Both of your grandparents are special. Not even death can do us apart."

After this event my parents sent me to a clinical psychiatrist to inquire about the probability of schizophrenia in their daughter and barred Nonno from ever seeing me again.

Needless to say, I was speechless. It was a special type, the one where you meet a person you have heard about in countless stories and you wish to meet with all your heart. This was the exact same feeling I felt for the person standing in front of me.

He was dressed in a shihakusho with a tattered haori. His eyes were an inviting gold meanwhile his hair a shocking purple. I immediately knew his lineage without him having to introduce himself. "Well, this is exciting. First living person to visit me in over five hundred years. Oh, but where are my manners? I am Shihoin Kamui, Captain of the Second Division a long, long time ago. Raibaju has told me a lot about you, Artemis. Which brings me to ask, where is he?"

"I took a blow to my reiryoku and my connection with him was severed. The Fourth Division said it could take a couple months to have it back."

"Then how exactly did you get here without your guide?"

"Uh, I rowed... And then drifted the rest of the way here, I suppose."

Kamui's eyes widened and then narrowed. He placed his hands on my shoulders and shook me slightly, immediately making me slightly angry at his over-familiarity. "You didn't drink any of the water, did you?"

My anger grew, mixed in with some shock and intense grief. I had half a mind to realize that I was overreacting and that my emotions weren't appropriate for the situation, but I didn't care. I slapped his hands away from me and I glared at him with tearful eyes. I said something to him that I couldn't process or wasn't aware of either, as if someone else had taken control, but that was enough for Kamui to look surprised and even guilty.

"Artemis, you must leave this place right now. You're not your own." He turned to his side and the fire wolf snapped to his attention. "I need you to guide her back, Shiranui. Make sure she doesn't swallow more water, alright?" I could feel my anger morphing into rage at this point. "I'm sorry our first meeting had to go like this, Artemis. I promise I'll explain things when you're here with Raibaju.

"I'm going to knock you out now, okay? Shiranui will make sure you wake up safe and sound. Farewell, Artemis."

* * *

><p>When I woke up my room was dark and the intense emotions I had felt in Kamui's island immediately faded away. This only left me with frustration, and this frustration was wholly mine and mine alone. I had lost my opportunity to get some answers because I lost my temper, even though I wasn't entirely conscious about it. I went there to discover more about myself and was left with even more questions, namely what exactly that water is and why Kamui had a zanpakutou spirit that looked eerily like mine but wasn't the same one at the same time.<p>

"You sure do know how to make people worry for you."

I want to say I held in a gasp but that would've been a lie. The darkness had hid him well, but his voice had given away his identity. I sat up immediately, poised for a fight. "What do you want, _Kannogi_."

The person in the chair to my left shifted, though I was unsure if it was because of my tone of voice or to get more comfortable. "Why are you so hostile now? It's been over three years since we last saw each other. You have no reason to hate me now."

He was right, and I hated him for that. "Why are you here?" I muttered, swallowing my pride for a second.

"I..." Though I couldn't see him in this darkness, I could hear the hesitance in his voice.

"Why don't you turn on the light first," I offered quietly. "This is a bit creepy."

Kannogi chuckled, which was quite the novelty given that we had a rivalry throughout our Shino years and we never expressed enjoyment for each other's company.

I was astonished to see just how much he had changed these past couple of years. His black hair was a bit longer, now reaching his shoulders, and his normally competitive dark blue eyes were so dull I had to remind myself all the times he had tried to humiliate me so that I could hate him.

"This is much better," he agreed softly. He sat back down in his chair and looked at me with intense eyes, which made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Ah, so why are you here again?"

He snapped back from his reverie and his cheeks turned slightly pink from embarrassment. This was much more entertaining than what I thought. "I came to ask for the truth."

"What truth?"

Kannogi looked down and focused on the floor. "Behind Airi's... Airi's death." He spoke the words as if they physically pained him and with a start I remembered this had been Airi's long-term relationship. I needed to tread this one carefully, not for him, but for Airi.

I schooled my expression to be calm and unassuming. "What's being said about her?"

He finally met my eyes and I felt pity surge within me, pity that was quickly squashed down when I remembered the disdain he had for me for not being a noble. Ha, the irony of life. He fell in love with a commoner. "That she was turned into a Visored against her will, just like you almost did but for some reason it didn't work with you. How she... was stabbed my Aizen. Is it true?"

The only untruth in that sentence was that Airi was turned into a Visored against her will, but the rest was pretty much right. "Yes, that is what happened."

"Liar," he whispered, but there was so much anger in that sentence that my body froze and my eyes widened.

Luckily my expression went unnoticed and I cooled down enough to send him a glare. "You doubt my words."

Takahiro tried to glare at me but he failed. Instead he looked forlorn and confused. "She changed, a long time ago. I don't know if she told you, but we had to put our relationship on hold."

My head perked up at that statement. That I did not know. Hadn't I listened to Airi gushing about her date with Kannogi not even a month ago? "How long ago?"

"Less than a year ago. My family found out about my relationship with her and ordered me to put it to an end."

"And like the good, noble dog that you are, you ended it," I sneered at him.

He tried to muster enough anger to frown at me, but he only ended up nodding guiltily. "After a couple of months I realized my stupidity and made a deal with my younger brother to let him become head in exchange of allowing me to stay with Airi. He accepted, of course, and I prepared myself to ask Airi's forgiveness, but it was too late."

"What do you mean?"

"She was different. She wanted to spar all the time, relish in a power she had recently acquired. She was stronger, faster, but she still couldn't beat me. Before this hadn't been a problem in our relationship, but now it seemed Airi was always angry at me, or resentful, I'm not sure. I started toning down my strength and letting her win, but she still became more power-hungry to the point that she was no longer Airi.

"When I heard about the Visored everything made sense. Her newfound power, her greed for more, her anger towards me for beating her when before it was simple fun... It made sense that she had become a Visored long before... that day."

He stared at me with such hopeless eyes that I didn't know what to say. "So is it true? Was she a traitor like all those power-hungry fools? I need to know this, Costa, please."

"What difference does it make?" I shot back bitterly. "Either way, she's still dead."

"It makes a difference to me," he growled back. "It makes a difference in the way I mourn her... Whether the Airi I feared the last couple of months was the Airi I loved for years or another person. Whether she was loyal to Soul Society... or a traitor."

If I told him the truth, this guilt he felt would alleviate and instead would be replaced by a sense of betrayal. Airi betrayed not only Soul Society, but our friendship. However, if I didn't tell him, he would live thinking that Airi didn't love him anymore, which at this point I'm not so sure if she did. Her love for power had clouded over the other loves she had.

Even more confusing, I didn't know what I wanted him to feel. Some sadistic part of me wanted to make him suffer, and I was slightly ashamed of it but at the same time I understood. His rivalry with me wasn't healthy. At times there was some semblance of sportsmanship but most of the time we were fighting for something more than that. And in the end he had won. He got into the most prestigious Division in his first year out and although I had gotten into the Sixth, something not many could do, I couldn't compare with him.

"Well?" he prodded. I hadn't realized I had been lost in my thoughts until now.

"She did betray us," I admitted quietly. "The power Aizen gave her clouded everything. I think I know why she did it, though... She had something to protect and she wanted to protect it in whatever way she could, even if it meant making an alliance with someone as vile as him."

"Then she was a traitor." He sounded relieved, in some twisted way, but then something crept into his eyes and he narrowed them. "Then what exactly happened down there? You must've reacted badly to that."

"Airi tried to kill me," I blurted out. "She thought I was a threat to Soul Society and thought it would be best to eliminate me."

"What? But you are–"

"I _was _her best friend, yes," I interrupted. "And no, I didn't kill her," I continued, sensing his next question. "Aizen did stab her in the back; that part was true."

"Such a pitiful way to die," he murmured, running a hand through his black hair. "Such a pitiful, _pitiful _death."

I ignored the emotion in his voice and continued on another pressing subject. "No one must know this, Kannogi. I told you because you asked this of me, and now I ask you to keep this a secret. Our image of Airi has been tarnished forever, but we mustn't do this to Soul Society. Let all of them think she died an honorable person."

He sighed despondently. "I still love Airi, but even I know that she doesn't deserve this."

"The only thing anyone deserves in this world is life, and she was robbed of that. I told you my terms, and I hope you respect that."

"Do you know why I never liked you?" I was shocked to hear this, but before I could even muster a reply, he continued, "I was allowed to enter the Academy late because my family pulled some strings, not because of my own merits. You, however, were accepted immediately and placed in the highest class a late student could have hoped for. And then, to add insult to the injury, you viewed me as an equal. There you were, a commoner, making fun of me, a noble, as if it was the norm. I was outraged enough to hold a grudge against you for all our Academy years, and apparently you were as well.

"But now... I am grateful you treated me like that. I gave Airi a chance because I knew how to treat others as my equals and even went against my family for her. Now I'm no longer the heir of the Kannogi family and I feel... freedom. It's not all because of you, of course, but you sure helped."

He got up and placed something on my lap. "When you landed in the hospital the first time, Airi heard a rumor that you had scarred your hands and arms badly so she bought these for you. When she found out you were alright she kept them in her room, though I'm not sure why. I found these and thought, well, that you have nothing to remind you of her when she our Airi and that maybe you might want them as a keepsake."

I took his gift and eyed them approvingly. Airi had bought me black fingerless gloves that reached up until my elbow, probably to cover my scars. The material felt tight but not too restricting, perfect for practicing.

When I looked up Kannogi was near the door. "Kannogi." He immediately stopped and turned, dark blue eyes questioning. "Thank you... And if you need to talk, I, uh, I'm here to talk."

He smiled warmly at me, making me feel something that wasn't unpleasant but not comfortable either. "Thanks, Costa. I might need a new friend from now on."

And with that he left, but I wasn't entirely aware because I was too busy putting on Airi's gift meanwhile chuckling that of course she knew my exact size, even though I had never told her.

* * *

><p>I hadn't planned on sleeping in the Fourth Division but in the end I did. However, that didn't mean that I wasn't going to show up for work, because Captain Kuchiki was a man that had little patience for excuses and tardiness.<p>

Unsurprisingly, I was earlier than Renji but Captain Kuchiki was already there. I wordlessly sat in my desk and started reviewing papers, signing where I needed to and organizing them depending on level of importance. Much of the paperwork were requests for either extra shinigami or partnering Divisions hoping to make some rounds in Rukongai to recruit new shinigami hopefuls. Aizen's Betrayal, as it was now called, had left a large dent in our fighting force, and we didn't have a lot of time to make it up.

Sixth Year Shino students had already been promoted to shinigami, and I knew a couple of Fifth Years who had also been lumped into that category.

"Artemis." My head snapped up at my commander's voice, and I still felt slightly uncomfortable that he called me by my first name. I wonder if this was how Renji felt. "There is somewhere you must be today."

I racked my brain for the answer, but sadly I couldn't come up with it. "Where, exactly?"

"Soutaichou asked me to let you go and get the samples Kurotsuchi-taichou wanted from that Hollow specimen." Though his eyes were focused on his work, I could hear the disdain in his voice for both the Twelfth Division's Captain and White. "Though I don't agree with such _work, _I have to follow Soutaichou's orders. You are excused for today."

I stood up and bowed slightly towards his direction, even if he couldn't see me. "Yes, sir."

"Oh, and also, don't forget we have lessons tomorrow."

This caused me to falter slightly in my step. "But I don't have my zanpakutou back, taichou."

"I know, but you can take advantage of your smaller reiryoku reserves to control it more fully. Trust me in this, Artemis."

Though I was still slightly unsure of this, I knew better than to argue with my superior, and, in this case, teacher. "Very well, Kuchiki-taichou. I will see you tomorrow morning."

I usually shunpoed to my destinations, but today I decided to walk. I was in no hurry to go to the Twelfth Division and I didn't want to spoil my mood so early in the day. I was a pit peeved that I hadn't been told with a couple of days in advance about this new arrangement, but there was nothing that could be done about it. I'm sure that I wasn't a priority in the soutaichou's plans and if I was it was for no good reason.

The doors opened and I stepped in, slightly creeped out by the silence and emptiness of the Twelfth Division. This was a place usually bursting with activity, but today it almost seemed abandoned.

I felt a reiatsu creeping closer to me and I placed my hand on Raibaju's hilt.

"You must be Costa Artemis, correct?"

I jumped in the air, because the voice hadn't come from the place I had predicted it to. Were my sensing abilities hindered as well? "Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou... You scared me."

"Follow me," she continued in her empty voice, not addressing my comment. I should've been slightly angered by her disregard of me, but I knew that being Mayuri's "daughter" was a horrible fate and she deserves some leeway for what happens in her life.

Nemu had to swipe a card through various doors and it was not until I was in a big observatory room that I realized escaping from this place would almost be impossible now. The room had big windows overlooking a small, empty room with a horned being chained to the wall.

It seemed as if everyone from the Twelfth Division was gathered in this rather large observatory room, explaining the vacancy from before. Most were working the machinery meanwhile others were simply observing White, noting everything that went on below them.

"You must go downstairs and get some venom from him. Here is a vial. Good luck."

She motioned to a wall which had a door leading to the stairs and quickly left. So empathetic, that Nemu.

People parted their way for me as I neared the stairs. To think that a couple of years ago I would've been ecstatic to be the centerpiece of a project and now I had been forced to come here against my will. Kurotsuchi murders more than just shinigami, it seems.

The heavily reinforced steel door opened for me and I stepped inside. I looked up at the windows but from this vantage point they were only glass, meaning that they could see me but I couldn't see them.

Finally I noticed White. I had never meet him, but I could feel the scar in my bicep throbbing. He looked like a white devil, with large teeth and a menacing stare. His armored body and horns were black, and it took me a while to figure out that this was a Hollow and not a masked shinigami.

"So I finally get to meet you," I murmured, knowing he couldn't respond. "Aizen's dog."

That seemed to get to him, and he growled deeply.

"Oh, so you understand that, huh? How a _shinigami, _your predator, now not only kills your kin but became your master." I don't know why I was taunting him, but I felt _good_. Here was the creature that converted Airi into a monster and tried to destroy my own life and I was _tormenting _it. To say it wasn't satisfying would be a lie.

His arms were blades, and that should have dissuaded me from stepping forward, but I did anyway, trusting the chains to hold it. "And not only that, but you can't infect me, either. You can't infect a shinigami without a zanpakutou. No wonder Aizen can control you so easily."

The only warning I had was a flash and soon enough White's teeth were buried deep in the exact same spot he had bitten me before. He was biting hard enough to make me bleed, and I could feel my flesh tearing under the strength of his jaw.

The pain left me slightly dizzy and I felt tears gathering in my eyes. However, I knew it was necessary to do this as fast as I could. I pried White's jaw off my arm with my adrenaline-fused strength and shunpoed a few feet away from the creature. Gathering a good sample was a bit hard considering that my blood was mixing with the venom, but I managed to collect enough to make _me _satisfied.

I chuckled breathlessly. "You stupid, stupid Hollow. Even when you wish to bring about destruction, it only ends with your own. Oh, I wish I could destroy you, slowly, might I add. I'd rip you into pieces. But we need you, unfortunately."

White grunted and made a noise that sounded eerily like a laugh, as if mocking my empty threats.

Now that my task was done, I left the room and went up to the observatory. The division members were staring at me with something akin to horrified awe, which must've been because of my half torn bicep and total nonchalance at the monster they kept imprisoned.

I handed the vial to Akon, who was the first to approach me. "Here's the venom. I made sure to not ruin it with my blood."

"On the contrary." The scientist handed me a new, larger vial. "I would like you to fill this with your blood. Usually we would want it straight from the veins to make it a good sample, but we would like to see how the venom interacts with your blood."

He made a good point and I couldn't refute it. Even if I felt slightly wary of the Twelfth Division having access to my blood, I new that I couldn't refuse them right now. I took the vial and filled it up with my mixed up blood.

"Uh, Costa, don't you feel pain?"

Huh, I hadn't noticed that until now. "I felt it when he bit me, but once the venom started entering my system, not anymore."_  
><em>

"Interesting. It appears there is some analgesic substance in the venom to relieve pain. It explains why Aizen's victims never resisted the treatment. However, I would still get that checked in the Fourth Division."

I would _not _spend another day in the Fourth. Sure, it was a place of healing, but it was just as comforting as a hospital, and that wasn't the best place to be in. "Sure, I'll head that way right now. If you'll excuse me."

The nurses had taught me some tricks and I had learned some rudimentary healing kido. Sure, I shouldn't try my hand with something as serious as a wound from a Hollow, but how else would improve my skills if I didn't try harder?

Besides, I had the rest of the day off. Better spend it productively.

* * *

><p>Jinzen had become my go-to mediation. Even though I couldn't communicate with Raibaju, I knew I was healing our severed link. Sometimes I could feel a pleasant shock in the middle of Jinzen and I knew that Raibaju was still there, in a place where he could hear me but also interact with me in some level. Was he hidden inside my dream world? Or was he in another place I could not reach? Either way, I was anxious to fix our link for many reasons, for both my protection and emotional stability.<p>

I felt Mihane's reiatsu coming towards my room and I was ready once she opened the door.

She blinked in confusion. "Do you always stand... like that?"

I relaxed my muscles and chuckled nervously. "No, I just felt your reiatsu coming here so I knew better."

"Well, I was just coming–"

The alarm sounded, a noise so shrill that made both of us jump. We were immediately in the offensive, zanpakutou drawn and our bodies ready. We looked at each other and nodded, shunpoing to the Sixth Division Courtyard. The battle had already started, it seemed, with humanoid clones dressed in white robes fighting my comrades.

Mihane took care of a clone that had gotten too close to me and in turn I saved Yuuma, the white-haired twin, from being cut in pieces. The clones used a katana that seemed reminiscent from a zanpakutou, but I couldn't feel any power coming from it.

I shunpoed behind one and touched it in the back. "Shin'yu Rida," I murmured, and its reiryoku soon became as native as mine. Without wasting any time I finished the binding spell, muttering, "Seigyoki," and searched for a safe point in the roof where I could control this clone and not be injured.

I killed countless of the clones with the one I had taken over and soon abandoned my possession when I saw someone about to strike it down. It would be maddening to wound my reiryoku all over again for a simple mistake.

From the top of the Division roofs I could see everyone was engaged in a fight with these clones. They weren't powerful by any right, but the sheer number of them made it hard to get rid of them. Their presence was almost the same as a hollow's, but they could wield a katana and that made it much harder to dispatch.

This was Aizen's work, no doubt, but what exactly did he want? Soul Society had nothing that he wanted, right? Was he doing this just to test our strength or was this just a simple diversion? I leaned more to the latter option, because a man as arrogant as Aizen wouldn't even bother with testing his opponent's power after the blow to our ranks he had landed.

He wouldn't have come for another shinigami. The only shinigami that interested him was Kurosaki Ichigo, and he was currently in the Living World. His curiosity with me had died for some reason, but even if he had wanted me, wouldn't someone have sought me out by now?

By studying the attack a little bit closer, the answer became clearer. This was definitely a diversion. But what was the target? What did we have that Aizen wanted?

Or what did we have that Aizen did _not _want us to have?

My eyes widened and I shunpoed immediately towards the Twelfth Division. _Stupid, stupid_, of course Aizen wanted White back. His many reasons were unclear, but I was sure of one: he knew what Kurotsuchi was capable of with that venom and he wouldn't let us develop it.

The Twelfth Division barracks was littered with wounded and dead bodies, not to mention enough blood to make the whole place smell like copper. I sensed a stronger reiatsu in one of them and approached her body. I shook her gently, then a little bit more forcibly when the shinigami didn't wake.

Her eyes opened blearily, her hazel eyes unfocused. "What...?"

"What happened here?"

She coughed a bit of blood. Specks of the red liquid landing on my cheek, but I paid them no mind. "Someone rushed here before we could alert anyone... So strong... So strong."

"Where are Kurotsuchi-taichou and Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou?"

"I... I'm not sure. Out in Rukongai, maybe." Her eyes widened and her feeble hands grabbed the sleeve of my shihakusho. "Please, you must stop it! It's after–"

"White," I interrupted grimly. "I know. We must alert our superiors first, though. They'll know what to do."

"No, no, too late. We can't send a reiatsu signal because there is too much fighting going on and whatever that thing was broke our alert systems. Besides, no one except the Twelfth Division and the taichou know about White's existence. Please, you must go after it. Please."

I grit my teeth and gently let her go. She was right. No one would come help us here, especially with all the fighting going on with those zanpakutou-wielding hollows. If I left to alert any higher ranked shinigami aware of the Twelfth's prisoner, White would be long gone by the time we got back.

Then again, I was supposedly out of duty and in worse shape than most of the people scattered in the floor here. I definitely wouldn't win with my power, so I had to rely on my wits.

I shunpoed through the Twelfth Division, mindful to avoid the slaughter. Whoever had done this was powerful enough to take over two hundred qualified shinigami, _alone_. How could I do any better?

However, I couldn't let them get White. Aizen had almost eradicated the Twelfth Division, ensuring the delay of a biological weapon, and although I may be against them, I knew this was war and we needed it, especially right now with our disadvantage.

Aizen had already one two battles, I couldn't let him take our sample.

I was just in time to see the Twelfth Division's members make their last stand against the enemy. It was dressed with a white jacket with coattails, a red sash around its hip, and a white hakama. It had green hair reaching its shoulders, but it has its back to me so I couldn't see more.

Knowing this was my only chance, I shunpoed behind the creature and placed my hands in its back, murmuring "Shin'yu Rida." I could _hear _the creature thinking to retaliate so I got out of the way before I was cut into pieces.

"Hoh, someone here fights dishonorably." The voice was male, that much I could tell. And from the information I could gather from Shin'yu Rida, not wholly hollow either.

The remnants of the Twelfth Division shunpoed behind me, as if I was some sort of hero. "Be careful," one of them whispered quickly. "He is fast."

"Well, it is courteous to give a warning to the place you're about to invade," I rebuked softly. "I must commend you for the invasion, though. Very well done."

He turned to me, and I flinched slightly at the sight. Half of his face was covered in a mask, and only one gray eye was visible. His grin widened. "You like them? We call them Medio-Arrancar, or Failed Arrancar. They are mostly normal hollows without a class, but they all look the same."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What in the world are you talking about? What are Arrancar?"

He prepared his sword and I stiffened. I felt the people behind me cower slightly. "Oh, my, look at the time. It was a pleasure speaking to someone who didn't tremble at my mere reiatsu. I consider it quite powerful, don't you think?"

I position Raibaju in front of me, but mentally readied the Seigyoki spell. "You three go get help, I'll hold this guy off here."

"But–"

"Hurry! We must not let him get his hands on White!"

I felt rather than saw them leave, since my eyes were completely focused on my opponent. It was stupid, and I probably would die here, but I couldn't let them take White. I needed to make sure my next life wouldn't live under a tyrannical ego-maniac like Aizen.

Maybe immortality wasn't such a bad thing.

"You're truly arrogant to think you can take me on by yourself. Unless you're a taichou, which is very unlikely, you have no chances against me."

"My only mission here is to prevent you from getting White. And I will stop at nothing to achieve this. Seigyoki!"

Taking a hold of that "Medio-Arrancar" had been easy, but this one was extremely hard. His determination was insanely strong and I could feel his reiryoku fighting my own.

Unfortunately, I was stuck in one spot meanwhile I used Seigyoki, but this creature could move as he wished. There were various battles going on right now, a fight for the movement of his legs, his arms, his torso, his breathing...

All the fighting overwhelmed me and I was roughly expelled from his body with such harshness that I crumpled to the ground breathlessly.

I managed to dodge most of his downward slash, but he wounded my side enough to make a flesh wound. I was still dizzy and weak from my failed possession, and it showed in my sloppy movements.

"What an interesting attack! I must admit I had never felt so hopeless before in my life. Such a cruel spell you have there, shinigami. Would you care to give me your name so I can boast about your death?"

"Costa Artemis," I bit out. "Give me yours so I can say I cheated your death."

He laughed and laughed. "Oh, someone that makes me anxious and laugh five minutes later. Very well, you have earned my name. Xerten Portos, Número Cinco of the Sombras Ocultas. Now, it is time to die, Costa Artemis."

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><p><strong>I would be delighted to answer any questions.<strong>

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	26. Possession

**Whoops, it took a while, but here's the next chapter. A big shout out to animagirl, Nomurai, guisniperman, Undying Soul98, OrangeandSpiceTeaLover, It's Lucy's Wonderland Madness, MusicOfMadness, Kuchikiwraith, Blue Fire Lily, chaosrin, and chibianimefan26 for being so awesome and leaving a review. Also, innumerable amount of thanks to those who added this story to their alerts.**

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><p>I learned the hard way to not play by the rules, but by my advantages.<p>

There weren't many times I could abide by this; society was built upon laws and unspoken regulations that made everything run smoothly. But every once in a while someone who slyly broke these orders got away with it and ended up heavily enforcing laws for his own benefit, completely ignoring his own wrongdoing. This was how the rich got richer, how the strong got stronger.

And how the victors kept winning.

In the physical area, I was a complete mess; no zanpakutou, weakened body, and slower kido made me an easy opponent, taken care of in less than five minutes. Not only that, but I knew next to nothing about Xerten other than he was different, if his reiatsu and title were of any indication. There were no weaknesses I could exploit but he sure could eradicate me before I even thought about attacking.

The point of this fight wasn't my survival, though; I had already come to terms with my immortality and now that I was Awakened I wouldn't be able to lose these memories even if I wanted to. I had to stall him long enough for someone to come here and protect White, as disgusting as it sounded.

I narrowly avoided Xerten's version of shunpo, using my own high speed to my advantage. I could try possessing his body again, but I would be vulnerable to another attack, and this time it could be fatal. However, body possession was the only asset I had for this battle, so I had to take every single risk I could to succeed.

"Seigyoki."

The assault was so unexpected that it took Xerten completely by surprise, giving me enough time to completely possess his body. I had won without even raising my zanpakutou or getting fatally wounded, something that hadn't happened in my whole career as a shinigami.

But I should've known that it was too easy to be true.

I felt something kick me in my mind and my body started moving without me willing it to. I could move a pair of hands that weren't my own, a pair of white gloved hands. I had black hair that reached my shoulder and a male, muscular body. I had a hole in my torso that for some reason did not instantly kill me. The person standing in front of me was... well, me. But her eyes were vicious and victorious and dark.

"Oh, surprised about this, Costa Artemis?" Hearing my voice but not speaking was very weird and eery. "It's a shame you didn't know your spell well enough that Seigyoki is a two-way street. You have the advantage the first time, because you create the link, but once the link is there I have access to it, and it wasn't hard to overpower this body."

Xerten raised my right hand and used my left hand to crack the fingers one by one. Even though I couldn't feel the pain, that was still my body and my sanctuary he was injuring.

"S-Stop that! If you don't, I'll kill this body."

He raised my eyebrow. "If you kill my body while you possess it, then you will die along with it, correct?"

"So will you; Seigyoki is not a spell that lasts forever."

My body's mouth curled into a sneer; it was eery looking at my face with such a dark expression. "Then we are in a standstill, are we not? Killing you or myself will only result in both our deaths. Then again, I'm just a pawn to a bigger picture; I can afford to die."

"Hm, and you're assuming I'm some high-ranking shinigami Soul Society cannot function without."

"Touche, but you're still at the disadvantage, Artemis; the fingers in your right hand are broken and once I regain control of my body then it's game over."_  
><em>

I wanted to wound his body to have a more even field, but I didn't have a high enough pain tolerance and mental stability to handle self-mutilation. Even though this wasn't my body or brain, for some reason I was attached to the pain receptors in this body. It was a required part for possession to work fully and it came as part of a sacrifice of sorts.

Except I was completely unaware that my victim could also become my predator.

"I'll hold as much as I have to."

"Perhaps you're overestimating yourself."

I smirked, my pale lips twisting in this new face of mine. He was completely oblivious to the fact my soul was more resilient than most, capable of persevering through life and death. I may not know many things about my own soul, but I knew that there was no way I was going to succumb to my own body.

Xerten started running the tip of Raibaju down my arms, almost like a caress. My host's body involuntarily shivered, feeling dread growing in the back of my mind at the thought of being mutilated further, especially with my own zanpakutou. As if breaking my fingers was enough...

Where was Raibaju? This was a new situation because I had been forcefully evicted from my own body, but that was only _me. _Raibaju wasn't subject to Seigyoki, was he? The situation was so complicated I could barely wrap my head around the consequences and explanations. The only thing I knew was that if I let go of my hold on Xerten, then he would immediately go back to his body and attack me in my pained distraction.

"Hoh, so you are the nasty creature that killed almost all my subordinates..."

I would shiver and cringe whenever I heard that voice. It was the one that brought so many bad memories, so many identity issues, that I decided I usually was better off away from Kurotsuchi. But right now, he was my savior, and I owed him my life.

Unfortunately for me, I bore the face of the enemy. He immediately launched himself at me and I sloppily dodged with Xerten's version of shunpo, but he still managed to land a nasty gash on my abdomen.

"Kurotsuchi-taichou!" I gasped, winded and wounded. "It's me, Costa Artemis!"

That made him stop, because he looked at me and back at my body curiously. "That is quite the statement to say when she's standing right there."

One moment my body was there and the next Xerten was attacking Kurotsuchi. He parried and moved away, refusing to attack because it was my body. "This is quite the unfortunate circumstance. Is there anything you can do about this, Costa?"

I tried letting go of the link, and much to my frustration Xerten's hold on my body was now stronger than ever. "He won't let go. However, he purposely broke the fingers in my right hand so he doesn't have as much dexterity."

Kurotsuchi tsked, his face suddenly annoyed. "If it I didn't need you to collect White's venom, you would be dead right now, Costa Artemis; you're too much of a pain at the moment."

"Didn't expect anything less from you, taichou."

Xerten, still in my body, continued his one-handed onslaught. Kurotsuchi had it easy, because I was physically weak and hurt at the moment, but he still had to make sure he didn't mortally wound my vessel while protecting Xerten's body because it was currently housing my soul.

So, we were in a bit of a pinch.

"How in the world did you get in this situation?"

"Failed Kido experiment, sir. These things are bound to happen."

"In a controlled setting, Costa. Now is not the time for problems to arise. I'll knock him out."

"I would prefer if you didn't do that, sir; I need him conscious if I want to return to my body. It's a hunch of sorts."

Kurotsuchi glared at me and huffed in annoyance, but he acquiesced and continued protecting me meanwhile he made sure not to damage my body.

I gritted my teeth, trying –– and failing –– to regain control of my body. Xerten must know that he was reaching his death, because his attacks became much more manic and his eyes –– my eyes glinted with desperation. His crazed behavior became the perfect opening for me, and I took the opportunity without thinking much of it.

Both our bodies stopped moving, an internal battle waging inside my body. He had spent too much time in my body and become ingrained with my reiryoku pathways, just as I had become extremely in tune with his own powers. However, I had the advantage of being the original caster of the Kido spell plus being in control of my own emotions, so with an extremely hard mental shove I pushed him away from my mind and back into his body.

The pain in my fingers were the first thing that registered in my mind. They throbbed horribly and their awkward position made me swoon slightly. I still had the gash Xerten had landed on me, as well as the exhaustion caused by all the exertion on my weak body.

"Kurotsuchi-taichou! Now!"

The Captain grinned and, now that we didn't need Xerten conscious, incapacitated him with the hilt of his sword. "He will make a perfect experiment after our torture session. I know I don't usually need a reason to torture enemies, but the mess he made of my division will sure fuel my delight."

I couldn't muster any pity for him.

* * *

><p>The Fourth Division was full of shinigami, mostly from the Twelfth Division, and thus they couldn't keep me overnight. The fingers in my right hand were casted, which made my life extremely inconvenient and annoying. Luckily there were no major problems with healing the wound at my side, but I was still extremely sore and mentally exhausted from our battle.<p>

However, there is no rest for the weary, and I couldn't find it within myself to complain. Although the Medio-Arrancar weren't hard to dispose of, the sheer number of them made any shinigami tired. Soul Society had suffered yet two attacks to its forces in less than a month. We had lost around four hundred shinigami, four hundred good shinigami with strong hands and strong zanpakutou. The rest of us had to pick up the slack and clean our home, and the worst part was that we weren't fully sure who exactly was our enemy. Yes, we knew Aizen, Ichimaru, Tousen, along with some four hundred shingami were traitors, but this new Sombras Ocultas and Medio-Arrancar made me wary.

In Spanish, Sombras Ocultas meant Hidden Shadows, which denoted special operations, but the weird one was Medio-Arrancar. Medio meant half, but Arrancar was a verb that meant "to rip." What was ripped, and for what? Not only that, but though I was beyond positive that Xerten was a Hollow, he didn't feel wholly Hollow. In fact, there were many similitudes between his reiatsu and Airi's, before her death.

The knock on my door interrupted me from my thoughts, and with a groan I stood up to open the door to Seishirou. He looked just as pale as I did, probably exhausted from all the paperwork and cleaning we had to do in the aftermath. He usually sought me out to fight, but our tiredness made me immediately rule out the possibility of a spar with him.

"You look like crap," I declared with a smirk.

His blue eyes lightened up a bit, but there was still something heavy in his eyes. "I know, so do you. May I come in?"

I quirked an eyebrow, but got out of the way for him. My room was smaller than his, since he had a higher ranked, but our furniture and arrangement was almost exactly the same, with the futon next to a wooden window and a desk at the adjacent side next to a small wardrobe that kept our uniforms and other undergarments.

"Something wrong?"

"Yes and no. You were wounded today, I hear."

"Yeah, but there's nothing to worry about. I've been through worse."

Seishirou frowned, but it disappeared soon afterwards. "I know, I know. Your resilience is strangely astounding. I came here to tell you some news from the Captains' Meeting."

"There was one?"

"Kurotsuchi is very thorough with his interrogation attempts. I'm afraid the Hollow Xerten Portos is... well, he's neither dead nor alive."

"Comatose?"

"Driven insane from pain."

"...Oh," I offered lamely. I didn't exactly know how to react to the information. On one hand I knew Kurotsuchi was a savage at times, but Xerten hadn't exactly been gentle with me and I didn't feel bad for his demise.

"You came up in the conversation since you were the first one to figure out that the enemy wanted that Hollow the Twelfth Division kept hidden."

"Not much of a secret anymore, huh. How is Soul Society taking it?"

"I guess that we're all too distracted to care. Besides, what's one more secret thrown out in the open at this point? Anyway, I guess that the Gotei 13 is thankful that you were there to stop him from taking White, but we still lost around eighty percent of the Twelfth Division personnel."

"Eighty percent?" I exclaimed, surprised. Yes, I saw a lot of dead bodies throughout my trek, but I didn't think there were that many.

Seishirou nodded gravely. "Kurotsuchi fears the stagnation of the research. Xerten also admitted that was another one of their missions. He said Aizen knew there was a strong possibility that he would fail, so he slaughtered most of the SRDI to stop anything from happening."

I growled. "This would've never happened if Kurotsuchi hadn't been wandering around Rukongai."

"There was no way to he could've known this would happen."

I grunted and looked to the side, aware that he was right, but still not happy about it. "Anything else?"

"You were chosen to go on a mission. From what Kuchiki-taichou told me, you've had one of the highest grades in Living World Customs in the entirety of Shino History." Of course I had the highest score; I remembered being alive and none of the people in my classrooms were even aware of silverware, let alone technology and culture. "Along with a small group, you're going to Karakura to make sure nothing bad happens again."

"Again?"

"Aizen also attacked Soul Society to distract us from a crisis going on in the Living World. From the intel given to us by Urahara-san, these were also Arrancar, but their power was at or beyond that of a taichou's."

I groaned and rested my head on my palms. "Ugh, that's... Fuck."

"I've never heard you curse before," he said, his voice light and teasing, "but I guess right now is the time."

"We're going to die, aren't we? Well, maybe not you, but I certainly will."

"Stop being so dramatic, Artemis. You're not going to die."

"Aizen must hate me by now." Not to mention that I was an Awakened Transcendental and the best way to get to Al, a Dormant one. I was still unsure of what exactly he wanted to do with our power, since I didn't think there were many bonuses to my status, but I still needed to protect my brother. "I've been in his way for a while."

"We all have, don't worry. That's what Kuchiki-taichou wanted me to tell you, at any rate. Now, I personally will tell you to get some rest. You have orientation with the rest of the recruits tomorrow at ten in the office of Hitsugaya-taichou."

Much to my surprise, Seishirou ruffled my hair gently. I snapped my head up just in time to catch his teasing smile before he left the room, closing it slowly after him. I hesitantly touched my head afterwards, slightly recreating the action, feeling even more confused by it.

Still, I wasn't sure what to think about this new mission. Yes, I was probably the one who had the most experience with the Living World other than those who were currently alive, but I felt much safer in Seireitei than anywhere else, even though we had just been attacked. Besides, if I arrived in the Living World, Aizen would immediately turn his attention to us and he might find Al in all of this.

I needed to protect Al, but there was no way I could do it without revealing his location.

Knowing that thinking too much would make my head hurt, I let myself fall on top of my futon and forced myself to sleep.

* * *

><p>I was ten minutes early to the meeting, but I could already see my teammates: Madarame Ikkaku, Third Seat of the Eleventh Division; Ayasegawa Yumichika , Fifth Seat of the Eleventh Division; Matsumoto Rangiku, Lieutenant of the Tenth Division; Hitsugaya Toshirou, Captain of the Tenth Division; Abarai Renji, Lieutenant of the Sixth Division; Kuchiki Rukia, unseated member of the Thirteenth Division. Overall, it was a good team, and my heart felt a bit lighter at the realization.<p>

"Art!" Rukia called, beckoning me over. She had a concerned look on her face, and I inwardly groaned at what was coming. "How are you feeling?" she asked, eyeing my swollen fingers. I had gone early in the morning to the Fourth Division so that they could finish healing me and I was good to go, but apparently Rukia had caught wind of my injuries.

"Better than ever."

"You regained your zanpakutou?"

I frowned. "No, I haven't."

Madarame and Ayasegawa eyed me suspiciously. "Why are we taking her along if she can't even use her sword?"

Hitsugaya heard them and gave them a nasty glare. "What, are you doubting my abilities to pick someone?" I expected the two shinigami to pale at his tone of voice, but they simply shrugged nonchalantly, reinforcing their earlier statement. The Eleventh Division did raise suicidal warriors, it seems. "She's the only one here that knows how to act normally because of her high scores." Unsaid in his statement was, _She remembers being alive, which none of us do._

Rukia must've immediately understood, because her eyes met mine and she nodded slowly. I had confided in Rukia simply because she knew too much already about the weird things in my life. And it had been a bit of an accident because I had let it slip and she had been persistent. Still, I didn't regret my choice and I was thankful I could confide in her.

"Now that we're all here, I'll explain the mission in more detail. Meanwhile we were dealing with our own invasion two days ago, Karakura was attacked by two Arrancar by the names of Ulquiorra and Yami. Not much is known about them except that they heavily wounded the acting shinigami. Though they haven't requested reinforcements, the taichou agreed that it would be best if we were stationed in the town to make sure nothing happens.

"You're all capable shinigami, but these are enemies that may or may not be out of your leagues. Should you come across one of them, ask yourself if the battle you're about to have is the one where you want to die in. There are always better moments to die.

"The Twelfth Division has already finished our power limit. We are under orders to not release them unless we're under heavy danger. Head down there right now, except you, Costa. A word, if you please."

The shinigami filed out without a word, hurrying to the Twelfth Division. Even if they were only working at ten percent, because the other half were in the Fourth Division, they were still efficient and prepared to help Soul Society. Their usefulness was sometimes overshadowed by the combat-focused Divisions, but I wouldn't be surprised if the soutaichou forced every graduating shinigami from Shino to join the Twelfth Division this year.

"Yes, Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"You're wounded."

My eye twitched. "Not anymore."

"You know what I mean, Artemis."

"I'll be fine. I'm not completely useless without Raibaju."

"No shinigami is completely helpful without her zanpakutou, though."

"Then why did you recommend me?"

"I wasn't lying when I said your knowledge of the Living World would come in handy. We're also using you like a bait, in a way. We need Aizen to attack so we can gather more intel and having you there will almost force his hand."

"So you're purposely putting my life in danger?"

"... Yes, we are," he said, and I saw his jaw clench a little. "It's now or never, in a way. You need to regain your connection with Raibaju, soon. As in, in the next three days soon."

I laid my arms across my chest and leaned on my right leg. "I can't just force my reiryoku pathways to heal, taichou; this will take time."

"I spoke with Unohana-taichou about this. She said that the more effort you put into rebuilding it, the more likely you are to succeed. She said that although you gave them quite the scare with that last session, it was far more successful than any of them had anticipated. Whatever you did during your sleep helped heal your link."

That was the time I ventured by myself to the islands and my past life, Kamui, forcibly removed me from the place. I swallowed some of the water in the sea of my memories, and the emotions that had controlled me, feelings that weren't mine, had clouded my judgement. Had he done something to help me, or was my discovery of my past life better connecting me with my own reiryoku, which was not wholly my own but a mixture of thousands of past lives?

It wouldn't be a bad thing to try.

"Very well, I'll make sure to speed up the process."

"Start today, alright?"

"Yessir."

* * *

><p>The sand in the beach was just as clear as always, and the water was calm and inviting. At Hitsugaya's prompting, I asked one of the nurses to do a healing session and was granted my request because of my impending mission. So here I was, back in my inner world, with questions that needed answering and a reiryoku pathway that needed mending.<p>

There was no canoe or ship this time, which was a bit disconcerting because I had been counting on that to cross the sea. Now that I noticed it, my piano was nowhere in sight, and though the beach looked the same, some of the rocks were in different places and were not of the same height.

This was not my beach.

I heard rather than felt someone walking to my side and I threw a punch at the mysterious assailant, only to have it blocked with a hand before a warm chuckle reached my ears.

Kamui was looking at me, a teasing glint in his golden eyes. "Coming into my home and attacking immediately, huh?"

I felt my cheeks heat up and I hastily retrieved my hand. Shiranui, the fire wolf, was also looking at me with an amused glance, as if he could understand what was going on.

"Sorry... I thought you wanted to attack me."

"No one will hurt you in your inner world."

"That storm certainly almost killed me."

Kamui frowned and looked forlornly at the sea. "That sea and that weather... It isn't ours."

"What do you mean? I thought this was my inner world."

He shook his head, and though his eyes had a certain sadness to them, I could see the mischievousness creeping back again. "That's a story for another time. Now, tell me, why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. This is not my beach."

"The place where you enter and the time you leave your inner world are controlled by our zanpakutou. That's why you always appear close to Raibaju and you only could leave when Raibaju was gone. And yet another good reason why you sought me out last time, because if not you would still be stuck here. Shiranui allowed you to go back, opening the exit, so you appeared close to Shiranui this time."

"I don't follow."

"Our existence is rather complicated, as you've probably noticed. Your inner world is connected to mine and many, many others. Raibaju, Shiranui, and four other wolves have been the zanpakutou of our past lives, recycling with every shinigami, because not all of us are shinigami. So, in a way, they know how to navigate our inner world the best. They make sure you don't become swallowed by the sheer intensity of living, but in exchange you must delegate some freedoms. So, whenever you enter your inner world, you enter close to where the wolf that sent you away is located. Since Shiranui sent you away, and Shiranui is here with me in my beach, you appeared in my beach."

"Then how did I get here last time? Was it luck?"

"No, Raibaju is there; you just can't see or feel him."

"Why not?

"Aizen's attack left you blind to him. Just like how a shinigami can't listen to his zanpakutou's name until he's ready, you can't see or feel Raibaju until you're ready."

I sighed, and my shoulders slumped slightly; I could already see where this was heading. "So, what do I have to do to get ready? Is there some test I must pass? Oh, and the quicker I do the better; I have a mission soon and I need him by my side."

"Nothing of that sort. You must simply sort out the mess that bastard made out of your reiryoku and you'll be more than ready. Fortunately for you, my dear, I can help you do that; my reiryoku is in perfect shape."

"I thought we shared the same reiryoku?"

"Yes, and no. For example, you have my reiryoku disposable to you, but I don't have yours, because you were born after I died. Just like how I have the reiryoku of my predecessor, but he doesn't have mine."

"So this builds on top of each other, and you can only access the reiryoku of the people before you but not the ones after you?"

"Exactly."

"But Unohana-taichou told me that _all _of my reiryoku was in shambles."

"Yes, I know, and she's not completely wrong. It isn't the reiryoku that is in disarray; it's _your_ _link _to it. My reiryoku is just fine and dandy; if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here. I don't think you've noticed, but this body you see is not real. It's simply the manifestation of my reiryoku in your inner world. So, what I'm trying to say is that I can help you regain your link back to everyone if you can fix your link with me."

"So I just fix my link with you and everything is solved?"

"Yup. If you fix your link with me, you immediately connect back to all of the reiryoku available to you because I'm connected to everyone else. Pretty neat, right?"

I sighed in relief. For a moment I thought I had to go on a wild goose chase to find all of my past lives and individually restore my link with them. Though I didn't understand everything Kamui was telling me, I was glad that he knew what was going on and was willing to help me.

"So, what do I have to do?"

"Fight me and prove to me you deserve to have your power back."

I groaned loudly and pouted childishly. "Seriously? Couldn't you have chosen something less... I don't know, less cliché? You want me to prove myself with a _fight_? I don't even have Raibaju!"

"_I'm not completely useless without Raibaju," _he said in a high-pitched voice, obviously mocking me.

"You were watching?"

"Ever since you came here, I'm able to sometimes see and hear bits and pieces of what's going on in your life. I must say, my little grand-grand-nephew is very cute, isn't he?"

"You said something about a fight, right?"

Shiranui howled, red markings appearing on its fur and a mane of different colored fires coming to life on its back. To say he was beautiful was an understatement.

Kamui brandished his zanpakutou, which eerily looked like mine except the hilt was red compared to my golden one. He pointed it at me and I jumped back, putting more distance between us, and I got my own sword out.

"Come on, Art! Show me the power of the first Transcendental in over five hundred years!"

* * *

><p><strong>To chaosrin: Nope, all of these changes are not caused by her existence. This is not an AU because Artemis is here, but it is an AU because the characters took different decisions. But she and her storyline will cause some differences, but for now she has caused close to none.<strong>


	27. Blind

**Phew, I'm back! As always, an innumerable amount of thanks to chibianimefan26, Undying Soul98, guisniperman, Larie, DarkDragonQueen0, ArtemisKirara7, tazdevil, jessik942, Reader, Joliegold09, Alastro12, Lania-ra, and kisawhitedove for being so awesome and reviewing. Also, thank you to those who added this story to their alerts and favorites!**

* * *

><p>Contrary to popular belief, I wasn't exactly stoked about battling Kamui. I was fighting myself, but not myself, at the same time. It made absolutely no sense, and I hated things that made no sense. I didn't want to fight him knowing that whatever injuries I gave him could reflect in my reiryoku or in my soul. Shino didn't teach you these types of things, didn't keep in mind that one of its students was in fact an ancient Transcendental.<p>

Kamui, on the other hand, had absolutely no qualms in attacking me. He flash stepped and brought his katana in a downwards slash, which I only covered vertically with Raibaju because of my reflexes, but the force behind the attack sent me skidding back. I refused to give in and run away. Most of my fights consisted of me dodging and thinking about ways to bring my foes down without using my own power, but not this one! I can't allow Kamui to see me as a coward.

The Shihoin captain grinned, his golden eyes amused. "Oh, this is new. What happened to your strategic mind?"

I grunted and pushed back on Shiranui, undeterred by his strength. "She went to take a walk. Now, is this all you have?"

He offered no reply, but I felt the temperature of my surroundings increase to almost unbearable levels. "_Moyasu, Shiranui._" Flames started licking Shiranui's steel and my gut told me to retreat immediately. Not a second after I had flash stepped to safety, a wave of red fire erupted from the blade. Kamui waved Shiranui around, the flames following the katana, until they finally died down in a flourish.

"Ryujin Jakka…?" I questioned, deeply confused. As far from what I've read and what I'd been told from the fight between the soutaichou with Ukitake-taichou and Kyoraku-taichou, Ryujin Jakka was able to manipulate fire like that. But that was impossible, right? Kamui's zanpakutou's name was Shiranui.

"Ah, yes, it's bound to cause some confusion," he replied with a chuckle. He fired a vortex of flame at me, but this time the fire was a bright orange, and much hotter than the last one. I easily evaded it, but I had a feeling it was only because Kamui hadn't meant to attack me. "But this is Shiranui, Lord of Fire and Light. It took me almost two hundred years to fully master his shikai, so just because he isn't Ryujin Jakka doesn't mean you should underestimate him."

I narrowed my eyes at him and positioned myself to attack again. "Why would I underestimate my own zanpakutou? I almost died because I awakened Raibaju too early."

Kamui chuckled and the sparks coming from Shiranui's blade starting calming down a bit. "Yes, I know. If only you could've died then, then we could've avoid this."

My body stiffened and I let out an involuntary, "Huh?"

The dark-skinned man dashed at me, a wave of yellow fire following the tip of Shiranui's blade. Now, I barely could keep up with him in zanjutsu, but I was no match for Shiranui's fire. Shiranui, like Raibaju, followed the color spectrum to determine the power behind his attacks. Red was the coolest, meanwhile violet the hottest. Right now he was at yellow, roughly the middle, and not even five minutes had passed since the time Kamui released his sword. If he reached violet…

I flash stepped to avoid his hit, but I felt a burning scorch followed by the cold steel of a sword in my back. I cried out in pain and quickly flash stepped as far away as I could, only to feel Kamui behind me again. How the hell was he following me so quickly? Not even a second before I landed on the sand, he was there! It's as if he knew where I was moving before I moved myself!

Kamui appeared in front of me, and I fell on my knees, breathing harshly. I had a burn wound in my back, as well as slashes in my shoulder blades and the back of my arms. Holding Raibaju was becoming an exponentially hard task. "Silly, I told you, Shiranui can manipulate fire and light. As long as there is light, I can appear there by merging with the light."

I looked up at the Shihoin and glared at him. "That is so overpowered! Why are you doing this? Don't you want me to regain my link? Why do you want to kill me? I thought you were me!"

He carefully pointed Shiranui inches away from my nose. "I told you, we're not the same. We share the same life force, but not the same soul."

"But––"

"Raibaju told you we share the same soul to make things less complicated, but… In reality, Artemis, you were never supposed to awaken. That was a mistake."

I felt tears pooling at my eyes, and I clenched my fingers around the sand of the beach, my knuckles turning white. "Why? I only followed what Raibaju told me! Why are you telling me my zanpakutou is mistaken?"

"Raibaju, Shiranui, Uminoinori, Toppume, Zokusei, and Mugenjikan, the zanpakutou of all the shinigami in this inner world, have an immense grudge against Soul Society," Kamui explained sadly. "They are loyal to us, after all. It's the only time my wish doesn't match Shiranui's."

"I… I don't understand," I whispered, tears starting to fall from my eyes. "I don't get it. I don't know anything. The only thing I know is… I am a pawn, right?"

I saw his golden eyes harden, and I knew then that my life was over, but the ex-captain's sword, though it was trembling from strain, did not move. Kamui's face fell, obviously conflicted, and he sheathed Shiranui, much to my surprise. "I couldn't do it, after all. Shiranui won't let me kill you. What a sad, sad man I am."

"Why didn't you kill me when we first met?"

"Just like how any human with a shred of emotion wouldn't kill a wounded dog, I was unable to murder a wounded girl. This time, you sought me. This time, it was necessary that we fight. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could convince myself for the eternity we have yet to live that your death today was an accident, but Shiranui has other plans."

As if suddenly summoned, the beautiful white wolf appeared at Kamui's side and quickly went to me, nuzzling my face. At this point, I was too tired to even stop crying. I… Why was the entity I thought was myself telling me this was a mistake, that I wasn't meant to get this far? Kamui wants to kill me, but his zanpakutou won't let him. What is going on?

I felt something materializing next to me, and much to my surprise, Raibaju was suddenly there, his cape of white light billowing lightly from the shore's breeze.

"Raibaju…" I murmured, shocked.

He also nuzzled my face and licked my tears. "It has been quite some time, Artemis, Shiranui, Kamui." The last name he said spitefully, no doubt angry from what he had almost done.

"You've trained her well," Shiranui replied, his voice a soft baritone. "She accepted me without even flinching."

My body stiffened, and I curiously looked at the fire wolf. "You speak?"

"Why, yes," Shiranui replied with a laugh. "You've accepted me, thus you're now able to hear me. Now, Kamui." Shiranui's voice became more menacing, and he stopped nuzzling me to stare at him with his intelligent red eyes. "You tricked me. Had I not seen your hesitance, Artemis would be dead."

Kamui dropped his head, and from where I was sitting, I could see his eyes were contrite. For a man who tried to kill me five minutes ago, and who had seemed genuine in helping me not even half an hour ago, he did not make a good picture of the stereotypical villain. "I had to try to kill her soul. Then she would've been reborn as a Dormant."

"Putting her in danger for Aizen," Raibaju cut in, a slight growl to his voice. "Not only that, but Kurosaki Ichigo and Urahara Kisuke are possibly the only people who know about Alberto da Costa and can protect him from Aizen. Leaving them such a task is unfair."

The Shihoin captain sighed and raised his head. Whatever remorse in his face was gone, replaced by bitterness. "There's no right answer for this, Raibaju. Seireitei was right in what they did five hundred years ago. This is truly a horrible coincidence. The probability of Art's Awakening was almost zero! Why…"

"It was almost zero, but it happened anyway," Shiranui replied. He appeared much calmer, but I could sense he was still angered at Kamui, even if he apparently understood what Kamui was trying to do. "Killing her was the easy way out. The shinigami I fought with would've never chosen the easy path."

"Besides, I urged her to Awaken," Raibaju added. "I saw a chance, and I took it. If this fails, the blame rests on me."

I, on the other hand, was more confused than before, something that usually happened whenever I visited my inner world. But I was tired of that pattern, of getting one answer for every five questions I had. I was truly their pawn in every sense of the letter. Heh, a shinigami a pawn to her own zanpakutou.

My body stood up on its own, and I gave each and every one of these entities the nastiest glare I could manage. "I have questions, and you have answers. I won't leave until I have them all."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, Artemis," said Shiranui. The red markings on his body started disappearing, and his fiery mane died down slowly. "You are weak and tired at the moment, the state of my body can attest to that, now that we're connected. Choose one of us three to answer your questions, and the next time we call you here, you shall get the rest. We promise."

The fire wolf was not lying in that aspect. The wounds in my back were throbbing, and the sand where I had fallen to my knees was stained with my blood. Not only that, but this was my _soul_, made of reiryoku, not the physical body made of reishi that I had in Soul Society. I didn't even want to think about the lasting damage Kamui had done.

But time was precious, and luckily I already knew from whom I wanted answers from. "Raibaju," I started coldly, "explain what you meant by taking a chance."

My zanpakutou looked up to me, his golden eyes so incredibly tired, and he sighed. "The Akato twins."

I blinked; I was _not _expecting that. "Yuuma and Yuuki? What do they have to do with this?" The twins had hair as white as the snow and eyes as red as blood; suffice to say they were ostracized from almost everyone in Seireitei. Everyone except me, of course. I would like to say I had a steady acquaintance with them, and we've had weird conversations before, some which I've honestly forgotten because I couldn't understand them. Obviously, Raibaju had remembered.

"Yes, them. Your first day at the Sixth Division, they communicated with me and told me everything they knew about a shadowy person the moon had showed them who wanted to gain the power of gods. Naturally, I was alarmed by this, and I wasn't ready to take any chances, so I entrusted with them a message urging them to meet with your brother, since at that time I couldn't speak with you."

"Oh, yeah, I remember. Wait, why couldn't you speak with me?"

"Your memories of your past life are a part of you right now, Art. When you forgot, we went back to square one in terms of our relationship. An Artemis who doesn't remember her past life isn't really Artemis."

"But you could talk with the Akato twins? What are they?"

Raibaju hummed. "I have my theories, but it'd be best to just ask them. Anyway, I urged them to talk to your brother because I knew your Transcendental life force would resonate, thus Awakening you."

"Wait, so you knew Al was a Transcendental from the beginning and you didn't tell–– Augh!" All my anger had agitated my wounds, bringing a wave of burning pain.

Kamui stepped closer and put a hand against my forehead, which I naturally slapped away. "She's burning up. You have to send her back, Raibaju."

I grew panicked at the prospect of leaving this place. Last time someone had tampered with my reiryoku, I had lost my connection with Raibaju. What would happen now that one of my past reincarnations had tried to harm me?

"Don't worry, our connection is safe." Thank god that zanpakutou and shingami thought along the same lines. The pain had escalated to such level I didn't think I could talk. "Kamui is not a foreign source, like Aizen was. I promise I'll explain when you wake up. Now rest, Art."

* * *

><p>The first thing I was aware of were the soft bedsheets beneath me and how comfortable the Fourth Division pillow was. Even though I was awake, I refused to open my eyes, because I knew that when I did and I saw that I was in fact back in Seireitei, I would only be incredibly disappointed.<p>

No, that's a lie; even here, with my eyes closed, I could feel something burning in my chest, rising up to my eyes, my cheeks, my fingertips. From the moment I stepped foot in Soul Society, people had used me for their own purposes. Sometimes I let them, like Mihane and Fuji, meanwhile other times I felt betrayed, like with Aizen and Kurotsuchi. But today… To find out that I had been used by the one entity who was supposed to protect and support me all this time…

**_Art, it's not like––_**

I shut him out of my mind when I felt a presence behind the door of my room. Right now was not the time for our conversation, and, quite frankly, I was in no mood to speak with Raibaju. I was slightly surprised the Fourth Division hadn't taken my zanpakutou and stored him away. I know I would certainly feel better if I didn't have the katana against the wall, there to remind me of all the secrets it hid.

A blond mop of hair peeked in, and Seishiro grinned when he saw I was up. "You know, you should just pick a room in here and call it your own, with all the times you've landed in the Fourth."

"Ha, ha, so very funny." Shihoin Seishiro, distantly related to Shihoin Kamui. Did he know him, I wonder?

He took that as a welcome, because he entered the room and shut the door lightly behind him. "How are you feeling? You've been out for two days. Was the mission a success?"

Well, from their perspective, the mission went on spectacularly; not only did I regain my link with Raibaju, but I made a new one with Shiranui. The bad thing was that I lost two precious days I could be training for the Karakura mission. "Yeah, it did. I can use him again."

"See, I told you there was no dying."

_Yet_. But, I was still curious about the connection. Kamui said that Seishiro was his grand-grand-nephew, so there had to be a connection, right? "Seishiro, do you mind if I ask a personal question?"

He took a seat in the chair besides my bed. Good, that meant he was willing to stay. "That's a first. Sure, go ahead."

"Why are you blond, pale-skinned, and have blue eyes if you're a Shihoin?" I blinked; _that _wasn't exactly the question I had in mind,

Seishiro was just as surprised as I was, but instead of being insulted like I thought he would be, he started chuckling. "Oh, yeah, you probably don't know, right?" He chuckled a bit more, but I didn't feel embarrassed because his laughter wasn't derogatory. On the other hand, it showed pure amusement. "I'm not a main house member. I'm so far from the main house that my features are completely different."

"So only those from the main house look like Shihoin Yoruichi?"

He cocked his head to the side and nodded slowly. Knowledge of Yoruichi was still a bit limited, considering she had been branded a traitor for one hundred years. Added to the fact that I had never seen her in Seireitei, it was a bit weird that I knew what she looked like. Luckily for me, I was a known bookworm, so I could easily said I've read descriptions of her in books.

"Yeah, only those in the main house have at least one of those features."

"But you're related to Shihoin Kamui, right?"

Seishiro stiffened, and his eyes widen in what I could only hope was surprise. I was playing a dangerous game here, because I wasn't sure what was exactly common knowledge and what was hidden in the Soul Society books. He chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his messy blond hair. "What brought the sudden interest?"

"My latest focus is the Second Division, and it turns out the Second Division is mostly Shihoin, just like how the Sixth is mostly Kuchiki."

Luckily, he bought the explanation, nodding along. It was a good thing I was known for my curiosity, or else he would probably think I was really creeping on his family. "Kamui-sama used to be the Second Division's taichou, yes, as well as the eleventh head of the Shihoin Clan. He was the fourth person to hold those two titles consecutively, and I am indeed related to him, since my great-grandfather and him were siblings. We don't really talk about him that much, though."

"Why not?"

"He was executed five hundred years ago," he replied blandly. "He was charged with wanting to destroy the shinigami way of living, and his soul was destroyed with the Sokyoku. The Shihoin clan was shamed and ashamed of such sentence, and separated his direct relatives from the main house. I guess that's why I look differently," he added, interested. "I'm closer related to Izuru Kira than I am to Shihoin Yoruichi-sama."

"Oh, I… I guess I'm sorry." To say that the statement came out awkwardly was an understatement, but luckily, Seishirou laughed heartily. He seemed to be doing that a lot, lately.

"No need to be sorry, Artemis." I involuntarily shivered. "It's not like you did anything to bring that result." Well, considering that Kamui was one of my past lives, then yeah, I did have some connection to why he was a branch member of the Shihoin clan. "Anyway, what's brought on this curiosity of yours?"

"Nothing. I've been terribly bored, lately."

"Shouldn't you be preparing for your mission?"

I shrugged. "There wasn't much I could do, considering that I had no zanpakutou. Now that I do, I better go train."

Seishirou folded his arms, his demeanor much lighter now that we had dropped the conversation of his heritage. "You're not going to do that right now, are you?"

"I have less than a week to prepare, and I'm the lowest ranked shingami going. I need all the training I can."'

He carefully observed me, then nodded to himself. "I can train with you, if you'd like. Sure, my zanpakutou and yours don't really match up nicely, but I can keep up."

I hadn't been expecting that. Practicing with my Division's Third Seat was better than what I expected. I knew that Renji was practicing with Rukia, leaving me as the odd one out, but with this, I didn't feel so lonely. "I'd like that," I replied, not even bothering to hide my happiness.

Seishirou coughed and abruptly stood up. "Um, well, I think I need to go back to the Sixth. Taichou has been giving me your paperwork, so you owe me, Costa."

"I'll treat you to dinner, then."

He laughed and headed to the door. "Foolish woman, you have no idea what you just offered. See you around."

And with that he was gone, leaving me alone to my thoughts, but right now I had pressing matters.

_You were explaining, Raibaju._

**_So now you decide to speak with me._**

_Don't act so self-righteously, Raibaju. I am entitled to be angry at you. _

**_…It'd be better to have this conversation face to face._**

_No, I want to have it now. _I had been kept in the dark for far too long, and now I was able to receive a piece of the puzzle. There was no way I was letting that opportunity get away.

**_Fine, but it is long._**

_I have a lot of time on my hands._

Raibaju grunted, then gave a tired sigh. He wasn't the only one frustrated by all of this. **_Humans have delved into dark arts before. They attached their life force to their physical body, and thus they remembered their past lives, even if their soul had moved on. They modeled this on Transcendentals, of course, because they were never good at keeping secrets._**

_Soul and life force… What's the difference?_

**_You could say the soul is our heart, our personality, meanwhile our life force animates our soul, and, consequently, bodies. Since they're so similar, they're almost always used interchangeably, but, as you can see, they are not. I didn't tell you about the existence of life force before because I didn't feel you were ready, at least until you had met Kamui._**

**_Anyway, these humans were also executed once their souls past on to the afterlife for fear of upsetting the balance of reincarnation, but such a dark art was passed on by blood._**

_I'm guessing I descend from there. Urahara told me so years ago._

**_Hm, you still remember. Yes, you're right, they're your ancestors. That was the first step to why you Awakened, since you were unfortunately related to Transcendentals by blood and life force. The next step was my own nudge. The Akato twins communicated their worry of a hidden figure in the shadows who wished for godhood, and though I didn't know who it was, I wasn't about to take any chances._**

**_As you probably remember, the connection you had with your brother Awakened you. Now, I wish to Awaken your brother so that he is no longer in danger, but for that, he needs to die._**

_So that he can follow the same steps I did? But, it took me around ten years._

**_I know, which is why it's better if you protect him. Unless, of course, you wish to steal his life force._**

_Steal… his life force? _Why did that sentence sound so familiar?

**_You read it once in a book, though the author said "steal memories." Yet again, confusion over words and their meanings. An Awakened Transcendental can steal the life force of another Awakened Transcendental. Dormants are vulnerable to Awakened Transcendentals, but they're almost impossible to detect unless you live close with them, which keeps them safe._**

_Aizen cannot get his powers then?_

**_Yes, he can. Should your brother relinquish the life force to him. People can be forced to do that. That is why we must protect him, or absorb him. That is the only way Seireitei and the natural cycle of reincarnation can be safe._**

_You know, Raibaju, I never really understood why I'm–– No, _we _are such a threat. You've spoken about godhood and the cycle of reincarnation, but I have no idea why remembering your past lives is such a big deal._

**_What, you won't fight for your brother if you don't know?_**

_No, that's not what I meant. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be a pawn anymore._

**_You were never a pawn, Artemis._**

_Yes, I am. But more importantly, you're avoiding the question._

**_… I don't know._**

_What?_

**_I don't know what is the threat behind the Transcendentals. I am afraid none of the past zanpakutou or your previous lives have taken the liberty to tell me why it's so important to keep you safe from Aizen, or anyone who wishes to get your powers by any means. I just know that I have, but that's an instinct of me trying to protect my shinigami partner._**

Well, that was interesting. It seemed we were being pawns to the people who apparently knew us best. That Raibaju knows nothing about who exactly are the Transcendentals does not bode well with me. I always thought of my past lives as allies I hadn't met, but it seems that is not the case. At least I knew Shiranui and Kamui had given their word to tell me what they knew, and I had a good feeling that the reason Kamui was executed was something to do with them.

**_What are you thinking about?_**

_How interesting it is that you're also in the dark about this. Kamui and Shiranui offered us answers, but I have a feeling they will actively avoid giving them to me any time soon. That's fine, because I have other things to worry about at the moment, namely Al and Seireitei. I don't need the added stress of knowing how exactly I'm a threat to reincarnation._

**_And, if it makes you feel better, the Gotei 13 refused to execute you, even though they have better knowledge than us._**

I chuckled out loud, and it made me really glad that there was no one around. Then again, most shinigami were already used to hearing other people talk to seemingly no one, but since everyone had a zanpakutou, everyone understood that there in fact is someone in our brain.

_Yes, it does make me feel better._

* * *

><p>I practiced every day for the mission in Karakura. Even though I had regained my connection with Raibaju and had gained a new one with Shiranui, I was still hesitant in using the real incantation to release Raibaju since I hadn't felt like landing in the Fourth Division days before my mission, and I refused to seek Shiranui or Kamui at the time. As weird as it sounds, the knowledge could wait; Al was more important.<p>

Still, I was very curious what gaining a connection with Shiranui meant as far as… well, as far as anything goes. I tried asking Raibaju, and he simply replied that he was also confused about it. I could go and ask him myself, but, as I stated earlier, I had no desire in speaking to them at the moment.

I would have to find out when the time was right, or when it was necessary. All I knew was that Shiranui refused to let me die, so that was nice and all, considering he had made me his pawn.

Considering that Shiranui and Kamui were out of the question, I actively sought the Akato twins, but, much to my misfortune, they had been assigned a mission in the Living World, and not anywhere close to Karakura. My questions would have to wait until either of us were back, if I made it back from whatever was waiting for me in Karakura.

I groaned and sank deeper into my bed. "Ugh, I need vodka. Not sake, vodka." Yes, I wanted to get utterly drunk, but that was an unwise idea considering drinking alone was never fun.

Never mind the fact that my mission was tomorrow.

But then again, I always did the right thing. Almost all my shinigami life I practiced, studied, meditated, followed orders, followed military decorum, treated my colleagues with respect, did not drink while on duty, did not irreparably injure anyone… I knew that I was a good match for the Sixth Division, but I was _too _good of a match.

I sat up, dressed up in my shihakusho, put Raibaju on his spot on top of my drawer so that he wouldn't judge my decisions, and left the room to do something so unbelievably stupid I was going to regret it every second of the day tomorrow.

And I did not give two shits at the moment.

My feet took me to a small bar in the First District of North Rukongai. No bar sells vodka, unfortunately, but I had heard from Matsumoto-fukutaichou that they sold the best whiskey in all of Soul Society because they made it themselves. Maybe that was what I needed, a good shot of whiskey…

Or many.

The mood of the bar was light and warm, which took me by surprise considering the crazy stories I heard from other divisions. There was no music, but the chatter of the people was loud enough to make up for that. But looking at all these strangers and all the drinks and all the grins made me realize that maybe this was not the best place for me to be. Better leave before someone notices and draws me in.

"Oh, is that you, Costa-chan?"

I instantly froze up and looked to my side to see a tipsy Matsumoto sharing a drink with Madarame and Ayasegawa. It seemed I wasn't the only one who did not care they had a very important mission tomorrow.

Now that I was found out, it would be rude to just walk away, and considering that I would be on a long mission with them, it really wasn't the best idea to make enemies of them.

My feet dragged me next to the table. I would only say hi and then leave, say that I just needed to clear my mind. I would only say hi and leave. I would only say hi and leave. I would only say––

"What are you standing there for? Join us, newbie!" Madarame exclaimed, cheering with his own glass of whiskey.

I chuckled nervously and looked at each one of them. Matsumoto looked like the only one who could stand up, and that wasn't exactly good because she didn't really look as if she could get home by herself. "I don't think I sh––"

"Mmm, Costa-chan, you look tense. Here." Matsumoto took one of the bottles on her side of the table and slid it to the edge. "This still has some. C'mon, drink! This is what you came here for, right?"

I slowly sat down next to Matsumoto and took the bottle. Much to my surprise, it was almost empty. I looked at Matsumoto and she winked at me, then gulped her own shot of whiskey. I shrugged, cheered to them, and drank the remaining liquid in the bottle.

Though it was almost empty, it was a bit more than a normal-sized shot, and the drink burned down my throat and through my esophagus. I instantly felt warm and so, so, so much better.

"Partying before we leave to Karakura, hmm?" Even my voice sounded different; more sultry, less careful, much more _fun. _Oh dear, what have I done?

Ayasegawa nodded and downed his sake. "We're going to pretend to be high school students for who-knows-how long, and they can't drink. Might as well get it out of my system."

Matsumoto laughed, and her laugh was much freer than my voice was. "C'mon, boys, a little uniform won't stop you from the drink."

"It won't stop us, yeah," Madarame admitted, "but your taichou sure will."

She pouted and took a large gulp from her bottle. "I wish I hadn't been paired with him. Yes, I adore my taichou, but he's no fun! Say, Costa-chan, mind switching with me?"

I drank from my bottle, even though it was empty. I had been taught by Renji that people who were drinking dislike being around others who weren't drinking. Now, I don't know if this applies to everyone, but I know for sure that it applied to the three I was sitting with. "No, thank you. I like my assigned partner."

"Well, you have Abarai, so I can see why," Ayasegawa replied, flicking his wrist outwards. "But, yes, I wouldn't let Matsumoto push you around."

"I wasn't pushing Costa-chan around. It's just that she and my taichou are a bit close so, it's always good to ask." Both Madarame and Ayasegawa gave Matsumoto a stare, not really believing her. I slightly believed her; she honestly wanted to make me comfortable, but at the same time wanted to make herself comfortable. "And we don't know where we're staying either, so who knows, maybe I'll have the lucky house!"

This was something I hadn't really understood. We were going to the Living World and posing as students to blend with Kurosaki Ichigo, but we still hadn't been giving a place to live in. Urahara's shop was always an option, but we couldn't exactly house seven people. At least Rukia had a home guaranteed with Ichigo.

"You're the only one with the leader of this mission, so who knows," Madarame said with a grin. "Anyway, newbie––"

"You do know it's Costa Artemis, and I'm not exactly a newbie," I interrupted with a bit of annoyance. Ha, alcohol really was an inhibitor. Never in a million years would I correct a superior I wasn't intimately acquainted with. Not only that, but the Eleventh Division scared the shit out of me.

He barked a laugh and took another swing of his sake. "I thought you had no spunk, considering you're from the prissy Sixth, but…" He motioned to our surroundings, the bottles lying on the table and the rowdier atmosphere of the bar. "Look at you. Maybe you're not so bad."

"Abarai-fukutaichou is in the Sixth too, you know."

"But he is an Eleventh Division member first and foremost," he replied with a proud smirk. Ah, so the Division Renji had transferred from was the Eleventh. Somehow, that didn't surprise me.

"Costa did plan on defying Soul Society, Ikkaku," Ayasegawa commented, studying me a bit more intensely. "Which makes me wonder, how are you and Abarai not splatters of blood on the wall?"

"Guys," Matsumoto whined, leaning forward to rest her forehead on the table. "We're supposed to be having fun! This is not fun!"

"You're drunk as shit, Matsumoto. I told you to take your time with those shots."

Matsumoto moaned and turned her head sideways, yawning. "I can handle myself, Ikkaku."

Ayasegawa put a hand on her head and patted her sadly. "There, there, sleep, you lightweight. Leave the heavy drinking to us experts."

Ikkaku stood up and yelled, "Another round!"

The effeminate Eleventh Division man and a drunk Matsumoto cheered as well, then looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

I sighed and shook my head. I did say I was going to regret this, but might as well follow through. "Let's see who lasts longest. Considering your states… It's an easy win."

Madarame gave me a predatory smirk, and I shivered a bit. What have I done? "Oh, you newbie…"

* * *

><p>When I came to, I immediately registered my throbbing headache and an overwhelming urge to vomit. I got out of the bed ––my bed, I realized belatedly–– and headed to the nearest bathroom ––a Sixth Division bathroom for ranked members. I blessedly reached the toilet without falling headfirst, but nothing came out of my mouth. I pushed myself away from the toilet and leaned against a wall, groaning in misery. I was thirsty, tired, and with such a searing headache I couldn't even concentrate.<p>

"Art?"

I looked up and saw Mihane staring at me in surprise. I did make quite the interesting image, me here, moaning quietly like a dying woman, muttering to myself about my stupid decisions. But Mihane looked like a savior, and I could swear she had a halo on top of her head. "Mihane," I slurred.

"You're hungover," she pointed out, surprised. She quickly crouched next to me and put a hand on my forehead. "At least you don't have a fever. C'mon, let's get you out of here. You should be back in your bed before someone sees you." She put one of my arms around her shoulders and gingerly got me up, coaxing me to follow her.

"If someone sees me, I'm so dead. I don't want to dead. Well, I'm already dead. I guess I should say I don't want to be deader. That just sounds––"

Mihane chuckled loudly, making me stop. "Oh, Artemis, even when you're sick, you're so funny."

I cocked my head to the side and openly gaped at her. What?

Just then, Kuchiki-taichou ––I still don't believe in higher beings, but just this once I did, and it didn't like me that much–– turned around the corner of the hallway, heading straight at us.

Okay, Costa, time to act very sober. How do I usually act? Do I just stare coldly at everyone to leave me alone? Was that it? Or did I say good morning to everyone and wish them a good day? Scratch that, how did I usually act around the captain? Wasn't I afraid of him? That was before Rukia's execution event thingy, right? So, now I'm not scared of him? But I'm really scared of him right now.

In the midst of my mental ramblings, I hadn't noticed Mihane had come to a stop. My arm was still around her shoulder, that I knew, but everything in front of me was slightly blurry.

Byakuya came to a stop in front of us and I could feel him observing me. Oh, no, he's going to find out. He's going to find out and he's going to kick me out and he's going to tell my mom that I drank even though I'm underage and I'm in so much trouble because she won't let me go over to Janice's but we have a science project so––

Mihane nudged me and shot me a nervous look. Huh?

"Is she sick?" he asked, his tone still cold and monotone.

"Yes, taichou, I found her by the bathroom muttering to herself," Mihane honestly replied. "I know she's been training hard every day, so maybe this is a consequence?"

Okay, change of plans, act very sick. Act as if you're dying. No, not dying. If I'm dying then I won't go on the mission, and I won't be able to see Al. Okay, so act sick, but not too sick. Easy. "I don't feel very well, Mihane," I murmured, trying to sound out every syllable.

"Perhaps you should take her to the Fourth," Byakuya suggested (yes, _suggested_, that's insane).

But that's not a very good suggestion. Fourth bad, very bad. Not only was I sick and tired of landing myself in a hospital bed, but they would immediately know I was hangover and Unohana would come in and give me a death stare and I would melt and a puddle can't go on a mission can it?

"If I go, then they might tell me I can't go on the mission," I explained slowly.

"I'm quite sure Hitsugaya-taichou won't mind if you show up a day late as long as you're in better health."

"I want to go."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow at me, and his frown became more pronounced. I never talked back to anyone superior I wasn't intimately acquainted with, and I never openly defied Byakuya. That was just a big no-no in the Sixth Division. "Very well, suit yourself. But if you hadn't _trained _so excessively yesterday you wouldn't be so _sick._"

Mihane stepped aside, moving me with her, to let the captain pass. We were awfully still for a while, at least until we could no longer feel the captain's reiatsu.

"You know, he made it sound as if he knew I was hangover."

"That's because he's not stupid," she replied with an exasperated sigh. "C'mon, we have to get you at least slightly presentable."

She led me back to her room, took a new shihakusho and the gloves Airi had given me from my drawers, gathered my bathrobe from my wardrobe, and ordered me to take a bath. I took my bath alone, but once the warm water hit my skin, I instantly felt better and less anxious. I knew that dehydration was a common problem with hangovers, as well as body mass. Luckily, for us shinigami, hangovers worked differently. Instead of body mass dictating how well a person could process alcohol, souls used reiryoku. And since I had quite a lot, well, I just needed a bath to flush out the impurities.

Ah, it felt good to finally think evenly.

I got out of the bath, let the water go, and dried myself quickly. I put on my uniform plus the memento Kannogi had given me in Airi's stead, and I felt even more like myself. I combed my hair, getting rid of the tangles, and then gathered in a messy bun, letting only my bangs hang in my face. Hair was such a hindrance to me, especially considering how much I relied on hakuda and hoho for my battles.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Mihane was waiting for me, and I felt such a deep desire to just hug her for everything she had done for me. I wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for her. I wouldn't have met such wonderful people or learned so many new things if I had stayed in the dojo with Fuji-sensei. Not that I regretted doing so, because he taught me invaluable lessons as well, but it simply wouldn't be the same. Then Mihane had come, crashing into me, and I had been taken along for this joyride.

"What's with that face, Art?"

I shook my head, a small smile on my face. "I… Well, I was just thinking about the past. I wouldn't be here without you."

She smiled sheepishly and scratched her face. "I'm sure you would've figured out a way to get here."

"No, not exactly. I'm a person who's not very open to change."

"It did take me forever to convince you that you were dead."

"Well, if dead means no longer living, then yeah. But we still can feel and think, so we're not really dead, are we? This is just another phase."

"And your mission is just another phase as well. You'll see it will all go perfectly fine."

I sure hoped so. Even though I wasn't exactly sure what was on the line when it came to the Transcendentals, I knew Aizen and his crew of Arrancar and Visoreds was a threat even without the power I wielded.

We could only hope we could stop him.

* * *

><p><em>Moyasu: Burn<em>

_Shiranui: Unknown Fire_

_Uminoinori: Ocean Prayer_

_Toppume: Gust Eye_

_Zokusei: Earthly Life_

_Mugenjikan: Infinite Time_

**Well, I did say I never introduced OCs for the willy-nilly, especially if they have lines. (Except Midori, I don't like Midori).**

**If what's going on doesn't make sense so far, don't worry, Artemis is super confused as well but patience, patience. Every single shinigami in the past lives (there's 5 of them) has a bit of the ****puzzle. Why? Well, that will be explained, but they're all estranged from each other for various reasons.**

**At any rate, next chapter starts Karakura and we'll take a break from this bs. And since this story is AU...**

**I hope you're happy with that little snippet in the middle, tazdevil. I didn't plan to include him there but I saw the opportunity and took it. **

**Reviews are love,**

**Penpal**


	28. Nostalgia

**Millions of thanks to Black Ribbon Dancer, anima, Lania-ra, guisniperman, tazdevil, try10 , LiteSadistofElements, Antex-The Legendary Zoroark, Lynn D. Mariza, Ducky the Insomniac Panda, CV, and Guest for being so wonderful and reviewing. Also, my gratitude to those who added this story to their alerts and favorites! This story has become one of the most followed and favorited OC stories in the Bleach section thanks to you!**

* * *

><p>We stepped out of the Senkaimon only to be greeted by a very excited Urahara and his loyal assistant, Tessai, in his underground practice space. Unlike most of my comrades, who had never even met Urahara for who he really was, I had battled in this place years ago, during my Academy years. Yoruichi had served as my rather strict Hakuda and Hoho teacher, meanwhile Urahara simply watched from the sidelines. Now that I think about it, Urahara kept me around to study, probably because he thought I was a bygone link to a real Transcendental. If only he had known I was the real deal.<p>

"Imagine my delight when I found out I had been entrusted with all of you," the blond man said, his smile hidden by his fan. "I created state-of-the-art gigai for all of you, including Kuchiki-san."

Renji crossed his arms and frowned. "How did you know our measurements?"

Urahara cocked his head to the side rather innocently. "A gigai takes the appearance of its wearer. Right now it looks like a muscled-human without skin."

Hitsugaya sent us all a cold glare, probably meaning to stop any further questions. After all, we were in a rather important mission and we didn't have time to waste. Though I wasn't in any particular hurry. I was accomplishing my mission just by being in the Living World, since I served as bait for Aizen.

Nobody knew what he would do next, or how his army was even divided. The Omnitsukido had been tasked with gathering information about Hueco Mundo and Aizen's Army, but who knew how long the process would take. It was very possible that Aizen would find out we were spying on him, so there was always the chance the information we received was flawed or tweaked.

Urahara took us to a spacious room in the surface, one dedicated solely to gigai. There were gigai inside containment pots with transparent screens, all held in suspended animation. A gigai lacked both a soul and life force, which explained why they were inanimate. After being told about the existence of life force, the many questions I had about the Soul Society started making sense, but I had other questions as well.

A sentient being in the Living World had three shells: physical body made out of atoms, soul, and life force. Soul Society replaced the atoms with reishi, giving the same being a body made out of reishi, soul, and life force. Now, an animal unaware of its existence in the Living World or Soul Society had two shells: physical body made out of atoms or reishi and life force.

In other words, the "soul" was the "heart", or consciousness, of a sentient being. If a gigai were given life force, it would act like another animal, driven by instinct. Artificial Souls, like Chappy, which occupied the gigai when the shinigami couldn't, were in fact artificial _intelligence_, but since they had no life force, I assumed they couldn't operate outside the realm of the creator's programming, but I could be wrong; I still didn't know what _exactly_ life force entailed. Now, I had never met Hikifune, Twelfth Division Captain before Urahara, but just knowing that she created _artificial intelligence_ over one hundred years ago was a huge achievement worthy of all the praise it had been given.

"Here are your gigai." Urahara pressed a button and opened the screen of the pod. "Now, out of everyone here, the only person who understands the difference between your reishi body right now and atoms one is Kuchiki-san. So, you can put on yours first and explain the differences first-hand."

Rukia, who already knew the process, grabbed the muscled gigai and put it on like one would put on a jumpsuit. As soon as Rukia entered, the gigai gained the uniform of a student. She tested her fingers and moved her legs experimentally, as if acquainting herself with a new body. She must've felt our questioning gazes, because she looked up at us and said, "Well, strength and reflexes are reduced. So is your resilience to attacks. You can still perform Kido, but the spells are weaker and not as fast."

"That's because the attack has to make up for the amount of reiryoku lost when using your gigai as a conduct." Everyone, except Urahara, stared at me as if I had spoken in another language, something I didn't enjoy. I had purposely not used any complex terminology, and they still didn't understand? "Our reishi bodies are better conductors for reiryoku than gigai bodies made out of atoms."

The other shinigami nodded a bit hesitantly, as if starting to get it a bit more, but only Urahara's eyes glinted in something I could describe as happiness. "That was part of your research project, right?"

"Part of it, yes."

"Man, so can I get on my gigai now or what?" Ikkaku asked, stifling a yawn. Not exactly surprised the Eleventh Division member would be uninterested in talks of science, but there was nothing I could do about that. He at least was competent when it came to battling.

Urahara chuckled and fanned himself. "Sure, go ahead."

Every shinigami took a gigai and mimicked Rukia's movements to get in. Just as what had happened with Rukia, clothes appeared on our bodies, but everyone except me wore the regular shikahusho. My gigai wore the same clothes I did the day of the shooting, a simple black shirt underneath a purple jacket and some denim jeans, sans the blood.

"The gigai is smart enough to remember the last clothes you wore in the Living World as a 'living' person, but since none of you have posed as a living person before, it dressed you with the clothes you currently wore."

Matsumoto pouted and pointed at me. "Why does Costa-chan get cute clothes?"

I raised an eyebrow and looked at my outfit; certainly not "cute", Matsumoto.

Urahara shrugged and hid a smile behind his fan. I knew he was probably enjoying knowing more than my comrades. He always liked keeping his and other people's secrets, even if it ended up being detrimental in the long run. "Who knows? I haven't studied gigai long enough."

The shinigami didn't think much about it, but I could see from the corner of my eye that Hitsugaya was unconvinced. He had probably figured out the clothes were _too _recent, _too _dissimilar to what people almost seventy years ago wore. After all, the lie I had fabricated in Seireitei was that I was sixty-eight years old, and I originated from East Rukongai and then moved to West Rukongai, a trek that cost my family members' lives. It was there that Fuji-sensei found me and trained me, and that was when Hanari met me. Luckily, neither of them asked questions about my past, so they could easily corroborate my story.

Now that I think about it, the only people who know that I was recently alive were Aizen, Mihane, and my teachers, Urahara and Yoruichi. I had considered telling my superiors my true age before, but then I remembered that I might unwittingly lead them to Albert, and the only people that _should_ know about his existence and status were, yet again, Aizen, my teachers, plus Ichigo. Seireitei didn't need to know there was another Transcendental lurking in the world, one vulnerable to Aizen if he found him.

But Hitsugaya's suspicions would be a pain to shake off. I remember how angry he became when I told him I might disappear because my physical body was draining my spiritual energy to be alive, and I can't imagine how enraged he would be to find out my entire life had been a lie. Not only that, but he would certainly ignore my wishes and do something to Al, probably kill him so that Aizen would lose the identity of the only Dormant Transcendental he knew of. And even if he didn't personally kill Al, he would certainly tell Yamamoto and he would certainly order someone to do it, no doubt about that.

So I would have to keep this a secret for longer. He knows I remember being alive, but he doesn't know recent that was. Nuances of the language, yes, but very important nuances that could keep my brother alive for longer._  
><em>

A brother that was living in this store, with Urahara.

"Well, I brought school clothes for you to change. They're somewhere in the back. I think that's all I agreed to help with, so if you're all done with your questions––"

"Where are we staying?" I asked before the blond salesman left. All of this talk about gigai had distracted me of a very important question I've had the whole day. If I hadn't been so preoccupied with training with Raibaju, I would've asked sooner.

All of the shinigami were strangely silent, as if the idea hadn't occurred to them. I resisted the urge to smack my face. Did they... Did they not think about this in advance?

"Well, I don't know," Urahara answered slowly. "That's your problem."

I raised an eyebrow at Hitsugaya, and he glared back, displeased at the blatant show of disrespect. "Mission didn't include accommodations."

Great, it's always been my dream to experience the homeless life.

"I'm sure you can find someone to stay in at school," the blond continued when he noticed our dampened mood. "Students are quite liberal with roommates."

I resisted the urge to groan. I don't know what school Urahara was talking about, but it certainly wasn't the one I had in mind. Since when did parents welcome strangers into their homes at the last minute? Certainly not mine. My parents would've laughed at my face if I thought about bringing some older-looking student to stay at our home.

And if he happened to look like Renji or Ikkaku, even worse.

I was sorely tempted to ask Urahara to let me stay with him, but nobody was aware about my relationship with Urahara and Yoruichi except Aizen, who had helped Mihane secure a passage to Urahara's Senkaimon in West Rukongai. I should've known my little escapades would be noticed; it was far too _easy_, and that was never good. At least he didn't know where the store was located, or else we would be in a world of trouble.

"No use in worrying too much about it," Yumichika said. "We should just go to school and find someone to take us in."

If only it were that easy.

* * *

><p>We certainly looked weird walking down the streets in our Karakura High School uniforms. Not only because we looked like adults cosplaying as students, but each shinigami had given their respective uniform a little twist. Matsumoto managed to sexualize her clothing (which wasn't much of a surprise); Renji looked more like a delinquent than anything with that bandana; Hitsugaya appeared like an elementary school boy pretending to be older; Yumichika stylized the hell out of his uniform. The only ones who wore it slightly normally were Rukia, Madarame, and me, but Madarame looked plain weird with his shiny, bald head in a student uniform.<p>

"This is so conspicuous." Since I knew the most out of everyone in being "alive", the shinigami generally followed my advice when it came to blending in the city. Even Rukia, who had lived here for a couple of months, usually heeded my warnings. Luckily Karakura was a bit far away from Tokyo, or else this ragtag group of "students" would be in quite a lot of trouble. "People are going to think we're playing hooky."

"Playing hooky?" Rukia asked from behind me.

"Not going to school," I responded without looking back. Even if I was the most adept in the Living World, I was not a resident of Karakura so I needed to watch for street signs and the like.

"That's bad?"

"Yes."

"Hmm, then I've played hooky for a long time," she continued, completely unperturbed. To her credit, not going to school had never really fazed me, either, even when I was alive. I died as a senior in my last semester in high school, and I missed more than attended school. That I had been caught in a shooting was a really unfortunate incident I could've avoided had I simply not gone that day, which I had been planning on doing.

Life and its little ironies.

"We'll just go with the story that we're exchange students," Hitsugaya said from my side, also relaxed. What was it with these shinigami and their calmness? Aizen may be breathing down our necks for all we know!

But his statement made something go off in my mind. "Wait, so our orders included infiltrating a high school, which involved the falsification of identities and school records, but nobody could give us a place to stay? Renting hotels is so easy nowadays too."

"You're still on that, Costa?"

"I guess I'm just baffled that nobody thought about accommodations. It's one of the first things I would've done."

"Ah, Costa-chan, stop being so uptight and enjoy the scenery! We could definitely go shopping one of these days! Just us girls! I've never gone shopping in the Living World."

"We don't have any money, Matsumoto," the captain replied, his eyes closed in frustration.

"But taichou! They can't throw a dead person in jail, can they?"

"We're not stealing from humans."

"These puny humans couldn't do anything about my strength even if they tried," Madarame boasted. I didn't even want to look back to see what expression he was wearing for fear of punching him and breaking my hand.

The group descended into an argument and I simply tuned them out, focusing on trying to find the high school, instead. My purpose was to attract Aizen's attention, anyway, so the more the merrier. At least, I hoped he attacked soon. Who knew what he was planning on doing? Every second he didn't do something was another second I lived in the unknown.

But my comrades, with the exception of Hitsugaya, were carefree and enjoying their time in the Living World. Did they not fear for their safety, or did they think they could confront any foe in our way? Or was it that they didn't know the true might of the enemy? They hadn't battled that member of the Sombras Oscuras, after all. They probably thought the Medio-Arrancar were one of the biggest threat we had, not counting the Vizards under Aizen's command. Plus the Arrancar that had attacked Karakura before, Arrancar that neither Yoruichi nor Urahara could defeat. What hope did we––

"Stop," the white-haired captain murmured loud enough for only me to hear. There was a considerable distance between the rambunctious group behind us and the leading party of two, but he still opted to be quiet. After all, we were still on the streets, and you never knew who could be listening in. "I can see the worry on your face, and you need to stop it."

"You must've thought about it too," I shot back. Luckily, my voice was naturally soft, so people wouldn't be able to listen even without trying. "The Medio-Arrancar distracted us meanwhile that Xerten Portos tried to get his hands on White... And he almost won. And we thought Aizen was trying to get his hands on White, but he really was distracting us from Karakura as well. He is... He is a almost unbeatable."

"If you think so negatively, you'll never achieve anything. You should know this now. I know it sounds hard, but trust in them." He turned his head sideways and looked back at the group of shinigami we had brought, forcing me to look as well. "They're our companions, our friends, even. Aizen doesn't know the meaning behind those types of bonds, and how they give us strength."

I snapped my head back at Hitsugaya and raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you spout words of the power of friendship and the like?"

He blushed slightly and looked away. "Shut up. It's been an interesting month."

I chuckled slightly and observed our surroundings. We were close. The map said we just needed to do a right and the high school would be in sight. And indeed, there it was, bustling with students already even if class started in twenty minutes. Seeing it brought back memories of my own high school in America. Back then my biggest worry was about entering Juilliard or some other school with a prestigious music program. Now that I think about it, I died a month before I could receive my acceptance or rejection letter. Maybe once I would've been bitter about the life I had been deprived, but meeting the shinigami had a healing effect on my negative feelings.

So maybe Hitsugaya was right. I should trust in them, even if they didn't fully realize the gravity of what was going on. Who knows, maybe they did know full well about the dangers, but instead of worrying about when they would die, they enjoyed their lives to the fullest. And they weren't immortal, unlike I was. They didn't fear death as mortals, and here I was worrying about it as someone incapable of dying.

We entered the high school and immediately went to the principal's office, who gave us instructions to our new classrooms. She did eye us with suspicion, but I didn't blame her. It was quite weird to suddenly receive an influx of foreign students with only a week of notice, especially since one looked like a child and others like grown men. She must be wondering if our transcripts were falsified, which they most certainly were.

Rukia was given a firm scolding for missing school so much, but in the end he expressed his happiness in having her back and told us our room assignments. Only Renji and Rukia were in the same classroom, 1-3, which was Rukia's old classroom. That meant Ichigo and the Ryoka would be there too, though I still don't know if that's a good idea or not. I was assigned in another classroom, 2-1, because I was apparently older than them, and Yumichika, Ikkaku, and Matsumoto were in 3-1, because they looked the oldest. Hitsugaya was assigned to the middle school, much to his horror. Had he not seen the transcripts?

As soon as we left the principal's office, Rukia shot off to her class, with the four troublemaking shinigami in tow, leaving me alone with a very irritated Hitsugaya. Ha, professing the power of friendship to me, but he gets annoyed at it. I was actually a bit surprised he hadn't grown a bit cynical, considering Hinamori chose Aizen over him, and Aizen tried to kill him in Seijoutoukyorin after watching me fall.

Huh, even if my memories of that event were a bit fuzzy, I distinctly remember Aizen addressing Hitsugaya after he stabbed me. And, afterwards, Sachi said that he had been discharged from the hospital a couple of days before me. Hinamori fought Hitsugaya, and then Aizen stabbed him as well, but there was something there that I was missing.

"Toshiro." He perked up at the usage of his first name. Luckily, the other shinigami were quite ahead of us and the classroom was at the other side of the building, so our conversation would remain slightly personal. After all, there were various students giving us weird looks in the hallways. "What happened in Seijoutoukyorin?"

"Why are you so curious about that?"

I shrugged, trying to feign disinterest. "Aizen likes divulging his plans or secrets to boast that he's always been ahead of everybody. I'm just curious if he told you anything." That was a lie. I knew firsthand of the psychological issues Aizen brought me after pitting Airi to fight against me for "the good of Seireitei", even if by then they were both traitors to Seireitei. I would've asked sooner, but I had been so caught up with recovering, Aizen's invasions, White, and getting Raibaju that I had completely forgotten to check up on Hitsugaya.

Damn, I was a horrible friend.

"Besides telling me that if I beat Hinamori I could save you, no, he didn't tell me anything. He just watched from the sidelines."

I winced. That sounded eerily similar to what he had made Airi and me go through. "Oh. That... Uh... Sorry." I almost bumped into another student, but I maneuvered around her. "I..."

"You already did your job, Artemis." At my questioning glance, he continued, "That day in our home, after you recovered. No need to visit the past. But if you must know, Aizen told me about you being a Transcendental. I didn't really know what that meant at the time, so I didn't mind it. I still don't mind, if that's what you're worried about. The 'balance of reincarnation' is an ambiguous and tedious subject, because even we are unaware about how it works."

"That's... Good. Thanks, Toshiro."

The classroom came into view, along with the rest of our companions standing impatiently in front of the door. Ha, they couldn't go inside without Hitsugaya, after all. Rukia was absent from the group, but neither Hitsugaya nor I decided to comment.

"It took you so long, taichou!"

"You walked here as if your clothes were on fire," I told Matsumoto, giving them all the evil eye. Granted, they weren't scared of a pipsqueak like me, but at least I tried. "And we're only a couple of minutes behind."

Renji opened the door as soon as we reached them, revealing a flabbergasted Ichigo. Oh, poor boy. Nobody had told him we were coming, huh. Not only did they fail to give us a place to stay, but Seireitei also failed to give Ichigo a heads up that he was getting reinforcements.

And then Rukia appeared on the window, much to the amazement of Kurosaki and his classmates, who were all huddling in the back and gossiping about the sudden appearance of the new students. After a rather violent reunion, Rukia took out Ichigo's soul and dragged him outside, leaving a soulless orange-haired body with us.

"Does... Does Rukia really not think about these things through?" I mumbled to no one in particular.

"I don't blame her. Did you see Ichigo's face?" Renji asked Madarame.

"Such a coward. Kuchiki definitely knew what to do."

The students in the back started muttering and talking about how weird Ichigo was acting, and about us as well. Their comments weren't meant to be insulting, but Madarame took offense in being called bald, even if he had previously told Renji not to mind them.

"We should leave," I told Renji.

"Yeah, but what are we supposed to do about Ichigo? We can't just leave him here."

"We're attracting too much attention, and we're not even supposed to be here." I stared at the students in the back and their growing wariness. "Hey, you guys, in the back." Their attention was immediately aimed at me, the second smallest person in the current group. "Your classmate fainted out of tiredness. The girl you saw on the window left to get some vitamins." I took Ichigo out of Renji's grasp and sat him on the first chair in the front. "No need to worry about him. Just keep watch. Understood?"

The students all bobbed their heads, their faces displaying a bit of fear. Maybe I was a bit angry at them because their first comment of me was that I looked uptight, but right now we were on an important mission, and I wouldn't let anyone stop it.

"Now that that's taken care of, let's go, punks."

"I hope you didn't just call me a punk, Matsumoto."

"Of course not, taichou!"

* * *

><p>The sensei called my name, giving me permission to open the door and introduce myself. That was a difference between Japanese schools and American schools. Since American high schools changed high schools and classmates with every subject, everyone was new. Even new kids who came at the beginning or in the middle of the school year weren't at a particular disadvantage when it came to forming friendships in the classroom. In Japan, though, a new student was a big deal.<p>

I slid the shoji door open and stepped inside. The students were a bit older looking than the ones in Ichigo's room, but barely. They looked older than me, as well, but I had always been told I looked young for my age when I was alive, and I hadn't biologically aged ever since I arrived in Soul Society. Chronologically I was twenty-eight, but my body was that of an eighteen-year-old.

I walked to the center of the room, stopping next to my teacher, and bowed with my hands on top of each other, as was required of Japanese girls. Even if I was allowed a little blunder here and there because I was technically a foreign student, I didn't want to attract too much attention. "Nice to meet you. My name is Costa Artemis."

Kinomoto-sensei smiled at me. "How long will you be staying, Costa-san?" she asked.

"Not very long, a month at the most."

She looked back at her class and clapped. "Well, you heard Costa-san. Make the most out of her visit, okay? Now, where to seat you..." She scanned the room until her eyes landed on an empty chair next to a brown-haired girl. "The seat next to Saigo-san is not taken. Go sit next to her, will you?"

Without further prompting, I strode through the chairs and sat on the empty chair. Almost immediately the sensei started giving her lecture on limits, something I already knew about. I used to be a senior in high school, after all, and I had an advanced understanding of the sciences. Besides the histories, class would be incredibly easy.

At first I hadn't understood why we would be required to go to high school, but the answer had been made clear very easily: Ichigo. This mission had two, not mutually exclusive, purposes: fight the Arrancar and protect Ichigo. I had the added part of attracting Aizen's attention, but I didn't know exactly how to do that besides simply existing. However, we couldn't just be in our shinigami forms the whole day. We would end up having the same effect on our surroundings as Ichigo did on the Ryoka, only on a much wider scale because there were seven of us. So gigai was the answer, but that meant we couldn't observe Ichigo inconspicuously to the living humans, so that left us with infiltrating a high school and watching over Ichigo meanwhile we were ready to meet any problem.

"Costa-san, what is the answer of the problem on the board?"

I snapped out of my reverie and stared at the white board. Hmm, I thought I would have to do math, but this was too simple. "Infinity."

"Care to explain?"

"The highest exponent is in the numerator."

Kinomoto-sensei nodded, surprisingly pleased. She must've thought I wasn't paying attention, which was correct, but at the same time I had done this in precalculus a long time ago.

She continued with the lesson, but before I could continue my daydreams, a piece of paper and a pencil appeared on my desk. I looked at the girl in my side, Saigo, and she just smiled and pointed at the folded message

_That was impressive. Her questions always scare me. I'm Saigo Rin, nice to meet you._

I took her pencil and wrote back, _Thank you. I can understand why she's scary. Nice to meet you, too._

_Do you want to eat lunch with me?_

_Sure._

The bell rang a few minutes afterwards, and all of the students started filing out of the room, chattering amongst themselves. They all left their briefcases on their chairs, but since I hadn't brought any school supplies or food, I was a bit empty-handed.

Rin chuckled. "No worries. We can share from my bento!"

I smiled and followed the girl, happy to know nice students still existed. She led us outside the school and to the grassy area, underneath one of the trees. Students were chattering amongst themselves, but the spot Rin had chosen was relatively quiet.

She sat down and patted the spot next to her, urging me to follow. She placed the bento box on my skirt and said, "Here, take it. I'm not hungry."

"No, no, I can't possibly take your food away, Saigo-san."

"Please, it's my pleasure." She smiled at me again, her usually dull green eyes glinting in happiness. "I'm new here too, so I haven't made any friends. And I don't come from an exotic place, either. You would be the first one, so I give this to you as a present in exchange for your friendship."

I took the chopsticks and snapped them. "Wow, I... I don't know what to say. Thank you, I guess. I'll make sure to repay the favor tomorrow."

She waved a hand. "No need, no need. Besides, look around." I did as she told me, and I noticed everyone was looking at us in curiosity. "Since you're the new kid, everyone is looking at you. I didn't get this much attention when I came here. Is it true you're friends with the other new students?"

"Yeah, unfortunately."

"Unfortunately?"

"Yeah, they're a handful. But I wouldn't have it any other way."

She giggled. "Do you want to call them so they can eat with us? I wouldn't want them to feel lonely. Except I don't think the boy will make it. I think middle school has a different lunch time."

If only he could hear all the times people were calling him a child... He must be having a field day. "No, no, it's okay just sitting here with you, Saigo-san. Like I said before, they're a handful. I enjoy this place. It's peaceful."

"You look very tense. Maybe this environment will be good for you."

I laid back against the tree trunk and finally tasted the food. Like I had expected, the rice was delicious, and so was everything else. "This is great, Saigo-san. I'm happy you found me."

"I'm happy I found you too."

* * *

><p>Renji alternated between frowning at me and looking at our comrades backs, who were already leaving the school grounds. "Are you sure about this, Art? I'm sure Ichigo won't mind that we break into his house."<p>

I nodded. "Yeah, you guys go on ahead. I want to talk to Urahara about something. And no, I'm pretty sure nobody would enjoy having other people in their homes uninvited."

"That's just you."

"And the rest of the sane population."

He grinned and ruffled my hair, much to my annoyance. Even though I was one of the tallest female shinigami, almost all of the men easily towered over me. Messing with my hair was a slight to my height. "Relax! You've been tense since we stepped out of the Senkaimon."

"I'll stress if I want to."

"Ha, fine, be that stubborn. I'll see you at Urahara's."

Renji started walking away, leaving me momentarily stunned. "Wait!" I called out. "Urahara's?"

"Yeah," he replied without looking back. "I figured I should stay with him."

Not him... Ugh, that just ruined my plans of having a wonderful time with Al. But I could figure something out. I always figured something out.

"Fine, see you!"

Renji left, leaving me alone with the other students in the school courtyard. He and the rest of the shinigami were heading over to Ichigo's house, no doubt to explain to him the situation about the Arrancar and Aizen. I had half a mind to come along and ask him for any developments with Al, but the chances I would get a private chat with him were low. Besides, I could just go over to Urahara's and save myself the time of visiting the substitute shinigami.

Urahara's shop was not that far away, even if it had taken us a while to get to school, but that was mostly because we didn't know where it was. Going back should've been quick, but I felt uneasy, as if I was suddenly cut off from the world. And indeed, I could no longer feel the reiatsu of other people beyond a mile from my position.

No doubt the work of an enemy.

The street was empty, but, just in case, I went into an alley and ate my Soul Candy, expelling my shinigami body from my gigai. I turned to my gigai and said, "Head to Urahara's and tell him I'll be a little late, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am!" the artificial soul replied and left the alley.

I jumped to a rooftop and searched for the source of the reiatsu. The enemy had to be close... Almost as if––

I drew Raibaju quickly and whirled around to block the incoming slash. A tan female Arrancar with shocking green hair and brown eyes smirked at me and used their equivalent of shunpo to get behind me, but I blocked the attack again. Compared to Yoruichi, she was not that quick.

"Midori-sama was right. You're not as weak as you seem," the Arrancar boasted arrogantly and pushed her sword further against mine, but I didn't budge. She wore a white jacket and skimpy shirt with high white boots, but she seemed completely unperturbed with the amount of skin she was showing. "But I promised not to shame Midori-sama in front of Aizen-sama, so I shall capture you."

"Capture me? Whatever for?"

She retrieved her sword and attacked again, this time from my side, but I blocked it yet again. "A good servant does not ask questions."

_Raibaju, are you ready for a fight?_

_**It's been a while, hasn't it?**_

"Well, do servants have names?"

She snarled and did that weird version of shunpo again to attack, only to find her cross slash stopped by my sword yet again. "Lienne Dromeda."

_Let's do a twofold incantation of _Shitotsu Sansen_ and _Raikoho_._

**_As you wish. You should try releasing me, too._**

I used shunpo to get behind her, only to feint my attack and shunpo yet again to my original location and attack, which was hastily blocked my a shock Lienne. "You're not very good at this, are you? Shinigami aren't born able to wield their zanpakutou, and I'm sure Arrancar aren't, either."

_And risk certain death? No, thank you. You should know what happened last time, Raibaju._

Lienne snarled and used their version of shunpo to appear on top of me and do a downwards slash. Naturally, I blocked it, but the force behind the attack made the rooftop crack under the pressure. "You saw that, shinigami? That's the power of Sonido, which is so much better than your shunpo." She used Sonido again, appearing in midair a few feet away from me, and fired a red ball of reiatsu, which I dodged. "And that was a Bala. Not so cocky now, are you?"

Compared to Xerten Portos, this Arrancar was much weaker. Maybe I had been wrong in worrying too much.

_**Ready**._

"Not only that, but you can't call for help! Midori-sama dubbed me 'The Blocker'. I block reiatsu from escaping an immediate area. You're trapped, Costa Artemis. Just give up!"

I sighed and generated a ball of yellow energy in my left palm, then drew an inverted triangle of golden light. "Bakudo Number 30: _Shitotsu Sansen_." Three triangles shot from the bigger inverted triangle and pinned a yelping Lienne do a nearby building, causing me to wince. Unlike the rest of the shinigami, I disliked causing collateral damage to nearby buildings. It was just inconsiderate. But right now I had no choice. "Hado Number 63: _Raikoho_."

An orb of yellow lightning materialized in my palm, and I added a bit of my own flare my changing the color to blue, just as Byakuya had taught me to do with my own electricity. I fired the blue lightning at the pinned Lienne. That attack was hotter than a normal Raikoho, and she received it point-blank. She was probably unconscious by now.

_See, we didn't need Shikai. I told you, I learned how to fight without you._

**_It's not over yet, Artemis._**

As soon as he said that, I became tuned to a growing reiatsu pressure from Lienne's location, which was dusty from debris. Damn, I felt horrible for creating such a mess. Only villains purposely destroyed public property. Villains and the Ryoka.

A white flash appeared in front of me, and I barely raised Raibaju to block the attack. Lienne was staring at me with crazed brown eyes. "No, no, my Hierro is stronger than that, Costa Artemis." Even if she said the attack didn't reach her, evidence pointed otherwise: her clothes were singed and tattered and her tan skin showed burn marks. "No! Don't look at that!" She started slashing with increasing force and spontaneity, making it a bit more difficult to block her attacks and retaliate with my own. "I'm going to bring you to Midori-sama and she will congratulate me."

**_You're afraid about what happened a year ago. You're not the same shinigami, Artemis. You've grown and acquired the respect of Shiranui. You can use my Shikai. I believe you're ready._**

She suddenly stopped her barrage of attacks and used Sonido to put more distance between us. "I block more than just reiatsu, Costa Artemis! _Tomeru, Tortuga_!" Her zanpakutou disappeared and in its stead her whole body darkened and lines started crisscrossing, resembling the shell of a tortoise. "I'm 'The Blocker'." Even though turtles were renowned for being slow, her Sonido became even faster, appearing in front of me so quickly not even my eyes could follow it. She punched me in the stomach, the force knocking the wind out of me and slamming me against a taller building.

I spit out a bit of saliva and heaved. That punch was not only strong but _hard, _reinforced my the turtle-shell skin Lienne had acquired. The dust cleared from the crater I left, and Lienne appeared in front of me, going for another punch in the face. I quickly moved my head to the left, then to the right to dodge her second punch, and kicked her off me, though the attack hurt me more than it hurt her.

_I'm best at Hakuda and Hoho. I can do this. Trust me._

**_It's okay to be afraid, but you must always face your fears, Artemis. I can't tell you with one hundred percent certainty that you won't die, but you must trust me, your zanpakutou!_**

I feinted yet again, making Lienne believe I was going for a frontal attack when in fact I simply touched her back and said, "Shin'yu Rida!"

Raibaju was right; I _was _scared of using my true Shikai, because the last time it happened I almost died. I couldn't afford to die, not right now when I had to protect Al. I couldn't just die and not know what happens to him because of my decision. Neither Urahara nor Ichigo loved him the way I loved him. They wouldn't protect him the way I would protect him. I needed to win this battle, and the only way to win it would be using the power I was best acquainted with.

My hand laid on her back a second too long, because Lienne figured out what I had done and kicked me so hard it sent me flying yet again, and this time a rib surely cracked. She was relentless, though, and followed me to the building her kick had made me crash into, intent on continuing her onslaught.

I smirked and murmured, "Seigyoki." Instantly my brain tried to gain control of every single limb of hers through her reiryoku. She stopped right in front of me, her punch frozen, her crazed look frozen in her face. Her willpower wasn't as strong as Xerten's, but for some reason I couldn't take control as easily as I had before. I would venture that whatever she had done to her skin, whatever had made her zanpakutou disappear, was making her entire being strong against these types of attack.

Perfect offense and perfect defense.

I felt my hold on her slipping, and I let go of the link and used shunpo to get away from her, taking advantage of the seconds it would take her to get reacquainted with her body to flee.

**_You're going to die this way, Artemis._**

_Obviously I can't handle her by myself, so I'm going for reinforcements. This damn barrier won't let me feel around for their reiatsu, though, so I don't know where they are._

**_You would cast away your pride as a shinigami just so that you don't use your Shikai?_**

_I have no need for pride, Raibaju. I only want Al to be alive._

**_How can a weak shinigami hope to protect Al? You might as well just hand him over to Aizen if you're going to keep like this._**

I grit my teeth and narrowly dodged Lienne's high kick. Damn, she was back, and Raibaju was making more sense than I hoped he would. He was right. A weak shinigami had no hope in keeping Al safe from Aizen. What use did my bond with him have if I didn't have the power to protect him? This Arrancar I was fighting wasn't even one of the higher-ups, and she was beating my ass.

_Fine, you're right! Prepare yourself, Raibaju!_

I didn't have enough time, so I forewent the incantation and pointed my index finger at Lienne's moving form, ignoring the flash of pain the simple action caused. "Bakudo Number 61: Rikujokoro!" Six rods of light appeared and slammed into Lienne's midsection, holding her frozen in midair, ready to attack. Now, one of my Rikujokoro could last five seconds without incantation on a good day, so I needed to hurry up.

I extended Raibaju diagonally downwards, away from my body, the pose he needed for release. _"Hibana, Raibaju!"_

* * *

><p><em>Tomeru<em>**: **Halt

_Hibana: _Flash

**Phew, that was a bit longer than usual. So, almost a year later, she gets her Shikai. And for those curious about the special ability Raibaju has to cast Kido for Artemis, it's explained in more detail in Chapter 21, but basically the gist of it is that Raibaju has spent the years since Artemis died acquainting himself with her past lives. He's not only intimate with her soul, but also her life force, unlike the rest of the shinigami, but more on that later.**


End file.
